Naughty Sorceress (2)
| The Naughty Sorceress (2) | |
|---|---|
| Monster ID | 244 |
| Locations | The Sorceress' Chamber |
| Hit Points | 600 |
| Attack | 205 |
| Defense | 228 |
| No-Hit | 215 |
| Initiative | ∞ |
| Meat | None |
| Phylum | dude |
| Elements | None |
| Resistance | None |
| Monster Parts | head, tentacle |
| Drops | None |
| Manuel Entry | |
| refreshedit data | |
You're fighting The Naughty Sorceress (2)The mist obscures her completely, before parting to reveal a hideous apparition. It's got more fangs and tentacles than an anime convention. You feel vaguely like a Japanese schoolgirl.
"Behold my true form, adventurer, and behold it well, for it is the last thing you will ever behold!"
"Hold on a minute," you say. "I'm not beholden to behold anything, you hideous creature!"
"You found me beautiful, once..." she says.
"Honey, you got real ugly. Let's go!"
Hit Message(s):
She cooks you up a nice spaghetti breakfast. Sounds good, but it really, really hurts. Argh! Oof!
She hits you in the <bung> with a tentacle while spearing your <bung> with a fang. Oof! Ow!
She wants to smack you around, so she does. She wants to smack you down, so she does. Well, she does. Argh! Eek!
She rams her hideous knee-analogue into your <bung> - analogue. Which, unfortunately for you, actually is your <bung>. Ow! Eek!
She attaches several tentacles to you and sprains several of your sensitive ligaments. You need some ligament linament. Ugh! Ouch!
She spears your <bung> with a fang, then entangles it in her tentacles. Talk about adding injury to injury. Ouch! Oof!
She entangles you with her tentacles and drools all over you. Ick, but not ow.
She can't decide whether to strangle you with her tentacles or bite you with her fangs, so she does nothing.
She tries to smack you down, but you remain undownsmacked.
She tries to bitch-slap you with her hideous palm-analogue, but you're too light on your feet-analogues. Er, feet.
She attaches several tentacles to you, but doesn't even leave a hickey. Sucker. Or, y'know, not.
She tries to spear you with a fang, but you tell her 'no fangs, I'm good.'
- Skill block (X chance):
As you start to use that skill, the creature belches in a manner so disgusting that you have to pause for a minute to prevent yourself from retching. Blech.
As you start to use that skill, the hideous apparition lashes out at you with a tentacle and knocks you on your ass. You lose track of what you were trying to do.- Item block (X chance):
One of the thing's mouths suddenly produces an unearthly piercing noise, and the (item) is shattered before you can use it.
As you start to use the (item), a nasty-looking pseudopod shoots out of one of the creature's many gaping maws, sticks to it, and yanks it out of your hands with a "glorp" sound.- MP drain (X chance):
 | You lose 10−18 Mana Points. |
- Heal (X chance):
- Restore Monster Level:
- After 50 rounds of combat with no winner:
You lose. You slink away, dejected and defeated.
- When you defeat her second form (proceed to third form):
The Sorceress, in her hideous true form, falls to her hideous knee-analogues as your final final blow lands.
"This cannot be! This is not possible! It cannot be the case that this is the case!"
"But it doesn't matter, Adventurer. By slaying me in my true form, you have merely given me the power to assume my actual true form, which I'm about to do. Right now."
Umm, seriously. Uh oh.Notes
- This monster is a boss and cannot be copied or insta-killed by normal means. Bosses are also immune to many other mechanics.
- Encountered in the Lair of the Naughty Sorceress after defeating her first form.
- Sometimes, she does absolutely nothing on a combat round. This seems to happen more if she's defeated you several times.
- If you are defeated by her second form, you will be Beaten Up for 4 adventures.
- If she is de-leveled by 26 or more ML, she will remove it immediately. She does not remove it if she has been de-leveled by less than 26 ML.
- When she heals, it seems to add about 100-125 health. This can take her above her original 600 HP.
- Sometimes, if you get Beaten Up by her on the first round of her second form (from her getting the jump on you and landing a lethal blow), there is no lose message: "You lose. You slink away, dejected and defeated."
- You don't get stats for defeating her second form -- you need to defeat her completely to get stats. However, your familiar will receive a kill for each form beaten.
- If you take too long (more than 50 combat rounds) to beat her second form, you lose the fight. However, you do not lose any additional HP and do not receive the Beaten Up effect when this happens.
- If you defeat the Sorceress in her second form but lose to her in her third form, you will have to face her again, starting from her first form.
- Prior to some time in 2011, she had no critical hits, and could not hit anyone with sufficiently high moxie.
- Like The Bonerdagon, she can block your skills and combat items.
- Letting the Sorceress beat you up will cause her to block fewer of your actions in the next fight. Spading on the AFH forums reveals that letting her beat you up four times will drop her block rate to 30%. More than that will not help.
- If she blocks your skill/item(s), then your familiar will not be able to act that round.
- If you use Ambidextrous Funkslinging, then your familiar can attack unless she blocks each of your items separately.
- If you use a simple weapon attack, then your familiar can act even if you miss.
- If you chose to break the mirror, the Sorceress will be immune to all Stuns and Staggers, and will have 300 more HP.
- The Naughty Sorceress has a soft damage cap that kicks in if your attack would do more than 111 damage. The actual damage done in that case is (X-111)^.75 + 111, where X is the damage your attack would have done without the cap. This applies to all sources of damage - combat items, regular attacks, spells, and passive damage.
- If you broke the mirror, this damage threshold calculation uses 50 instead of 111.
History
- Prior to its removal on May 22, 2013 the following would be received when attempting to use the skill Moxious Maneuver:
- Moxious Maneuver block (X chance):
It makes a sound halfway between a laugh and the sound of a kidney stone being passed.
You try to suckerpunch the hideous creature, but your hand gets stuck in one of its suckers and doesn't do any damage.
Yech.
You try to sneak around behind the creature and backstab it, but it's got just as many eyes on the backside as it has on the front.
- At some point on or before April 12, 2015, "Yo, she-bitch!" was deleted from the fight introduction text.
References
- The first paragraph of the second form refers to a sub-genre of Japanese Hentai, tentacle rape. The victims of these are normally young schoolgirls.
- "She cooks you up a nice spaghetti breakfast" is a reference to the game 1000 Blank White Cards. One of the sample cards on Riff's Blank White Cards page is called "Spaghetti Breakfast", which is his euphemism for tentacle rape.
- The last two lines of the battle description of her second form, "You found me beautiful, once ..." and "Honey, you got real ugly. Yo, she-bitch! Let's go!" are taken directly from the 1993 horror/comedy cult classic Army of Darkness.
- One of the second form's attack messages, "She wants to smack you around, so she does. She wants to smack you down, so she does. Well, she does", is a reference to the Matchbox Twenty song "Push". The lines it references are in the chorus, and go: "I wanna push you around / Well I will, well I will / I wanna push you down / Well I will, well I will / I wanna take you for granted / I wanna take you for granted / Yeah, well I will."
- The image and description resemble a Beholder, a monster from Dungeons & Dragons, hence the repetition of behold.
