View source for Legendary Epic Weapon Quest

==Description==
The '''Legendary Epic Weapon Quest''' allows you to acquire the [[Legendary Epic Weapon]] of your [[class]].  This quest is given to you when your base mainstat reaches 12 by the character at the [[Guild Hall]] who is the same class as you:
*[[Terri, the Turtle Tamer]] if you are a [[Turtle Tamer]]
*[[Grignr, the Seal Clubber]] if you are a [[Seal Clubber]]
*[[Edam, the Sauceror]] if you are a [[Sauceror]]
*[[Asiago, the Pastamancer]] if you are a [[Pastamancer]]
*[[Stradella, the Accordion Thief]] if you are an [[Accordion Thief]]
*[[Duncan Drisorderly, the Disco Bandit]] if you are a [[Disco Bandit]]

==Tasks==
*Create your character class' [[Epic Weapons|Epic Weapon]] by first [[meatsmithing]] a [[big rock]] with an ingredient traded from the [[hermit]], and then meatsmithing the result with your character class' starting item.
*Talk again to the guild member who gave you the quest, and he or she will ask you to obtain another ingredient by defeating [[The Clownlord Beelzebozo]] in [[the "Fun" House]].
*Adventure in [[the "Fun" House]] until you collect clown-related equipment (such as, but not limited to, the [[Terrifying Clown Suit]]).  You will need a  [[Adventurer, $1.99#Notes|Clownosity]] rating of four or more.
*Now equip your clown items and adventure until you encounter [[Adventurer, $1.99]].  Choose 'Push the nose', then 'Open the door' and fight [[The Clownlord Beelzebozo]].  
*Use the final item dropped by Beelzebozo to meatsmith your Legendary Epic Weapon and return to your guild.

{| cellpadding="3" cellspacing="0" border="1" style="text-align:center; vertical-align:middle"
|- style="background-color: #EEEEEE"
|'''Class'''
|'''Hermit Item'''
|{{click|image=Bigrock.gif|link=big rock}}
|'''''
|{{smith}}
|'''Starting Item'''
|{{equals}}
|'''Epic Weapon'''
|{{smith}}
|'''Beelzebozo Reward'''
|{{equals}}
|'''Legendary Epic Weapon'''
|-
|{{click|image=Class1.gif|link=Seal Clubber}}
|{{StackItem|seal tooth}}
|rowspan=6| &nbsp;
|{{StackItem|seal-toothed rock}}
|rowspan=6| &nbsp;
|{{StackItem|seal-clubbing club}}
|rowspan=6| &nbsp;
|{{StackItem|Bjorn's Hammer}}
|rowspan=6| &nbsp;
|{{StackItem|distilled seal blood}}
|rowspan=6| &nbsp;
|{{StackItem|Hammer of Smiting}}
|-
|{{click|image=Class2.gif|link=Turtle Tamer}}
|{{StackItem|Chisel}}
|{{StackItem|stone turtle}}
|{{StackItem|turtle totem}}
|{{StackItem|Mace of the Tortoise}}
|{{StackItem|turtle chain}}
|{{StackItem|Chelonian Morningstar}}
|-
|{{click|image=Class3.gif|link=Pastamancer}}
|{{StackItem|petrified noodles}}
|{{StackItem|spaghetti with rock-balls}}
|{{StackItem|pasta spoon}}
|{{StackItem|Pasta of Peril}}
|{{StackItem|high-octane olive oil}}
|{{StackItem|Greek Pasta of Peril}}
|-
|{{click|image=Class4.gif|link=Sauceror}}
|{{StackItem|jabañero pepper}}
|{{StackItem|heavy hot sauce}}
|{{StackItem|saucepan}}
|{{StackItem|5-Alarm Saucepan}}
|{{StackItem|Peppercorns of Power}}
|{{StackItem|17-alarm Saucepan}}
|-
|{{click|image=Class5.gif|link=Disco Bandit}}
|{{StackItem|banjo strings}}
|{{StackItem|stone banjo}}
|{{StackItem|disco ball}}
|{{StackItem|Disco Banjo}}
|{{StackItem|vial of mojo}}
|{{StackItem|Shagadelic Disco Banjo}}
|-
|{{click|image=Class6.gif|link=Accordion Thief}}
|{{StackItem|hot buttered roll}}
|{{StackItem|heart of rock and roll}}
|{{StackItem|stolen accordion}}
|{{StackItem|Rock and Roll Legend}}
|{{StackItem|golden reeds}}
|{{StackItem|Squeezebox of the Ages}}
|}

After acquiring your weapon, this quest line continues with [[A Dark and Dank and Sinister Quest]]

==Text==
===[[Seal Clubber]] and [[Turtle Tamer]]===
*''Initial visit:''
"<name>! I have grave news! An incredibly dangerous artifact, guarded by our guild for generations, has been stolen by your Nemesis! You must recover it from him before he discovers how to use it, or great catastrophe will surely ensue!"

"Wait, what? Since when do I have a Nemesis?" you ask.

"Well, we took a vote, and you weren't here, so he's your Nemesis. You should come to meetings more often. Anyway, this is not the time for such argument. Your Nemesis is rumored to lair within the Big Mountains, but I fear you have not the required mettle to defeat him. You must recover and master the Legendary Epic Weapon of the [Seal Clubber/Turtle Tamer] before you have any hope of victory. It will be a long and arduous task -- are you prepared?"

"No."

"Too bad. The first step will be to smith for yourself an Epic Weapon. You must seek out the two oldest and wisest men in the kingdom -- one will provide you with the first part of the weapon, and also, if you approach him on the correct day, the good fortune necessary to win the second part from the other, who runs the casino. One of his myriad games of chance will provide what you seek, with luck. The third part of the Epic Weapon is up to you to locate.

"The town's meatsmith will provide you with the knowledge required to construct the Epic Weapon; I will grant you the Meat necessary to purchase the proper tool. Once you have completed the weapon, return to me."
{{meat|amount=1000}}
*''Subsequent visits:''
"Have you not completed your Epic Weapon yet? There is no time to waste, <name>!"
*''Initial visit: (Epic Weapon already crafted)''
"<name>! I have grave news! An incredibly dangerous artifact, guarded by our guild for generations, has been stolen by your Nemesis! You must recover it from him before he discovers how to use it, or great catastrophe will surely ensue!"

"Wait, what? Since when do I have a Nemesis?" you ask.

"Well, we took a vote, and you weren't here, so he's your Nemesis. You should come to meetings more often. Anyway, this is not the time for such argument. Your Nemesis is rumored to lair within the Big Mountains, but I fear you have not the required mettle to defeat him. You must recover and master the Legendary Epic Weapon of the [Seal Clubber/Turtle Tamer] before you have any hope of victory. It will be a long and arduous task -- are you prepared?"

"No."

"Too bad. The first step will be to smith for yourself an Epic Weapon. You must seek out the..."

"Do you mean like this Epic Weapon here?" you ask, holding it up.

"I say, that was quick. Well, well done, <name>! Here, I'll reimburse you for the smithing costs. Your next task will be to unlock the full power of the Legendary Epic Weapon. To do this, you must travel to the Nearby Plains, to that place of horrors known only as The "Fun" House, and slay the Clownlord Beelzebozo. Only he possesses the materials you will need to complete your weapon. Return to me after you have done this. Remember, time is of the essence!" 
{{meat|amount=1000}}
*''After smithing the Epic Weapon:''
"Ah, you have completed your Epic Weapon! Well done, <name>!
Your next task will be to unlock the full power of the Legendary Epic Weapon. To do this, you must travel to the Nearby Plains, to that place of horrors known only as The "Fun" House, and slay the Clownlord Beelzebozo. Only he possesses the materials you will need to complete your weapon. Return to me after you have done this. Remember, time is of the essence!"
*''Subsequent visits:''
"How goes your quest to restore the Legendary Epic Weapon, <name>? Remember, you must retreive the stolen artifact soon -- the fate of the world is at stake!"
*''After smithing the Legendary Epic Weapon:''
"You've recovered the Legendary Epic Weapon! Well done, <name>! Now all that remains is to defeat your Nemesis and recover our artifact. Unfortunately, it seems that the fiend has hidden himself/herself well. I have some people searching for him/her now; return in a little while, and I should be able to give you his/her location."
*''Upon returning:''
"You're back! Good, not a moment too soon. We've finally managed to pinpoint the location of your Nemesis' hideout -- it's a cave in the Big Mountains. Here, I'll mark it on your map. We need the stolen artifact back as soon as possible, but be careful -- the place is undoubtedly filled with guards and traps."

===[[Pastamancer]] and [[Sauceror]]===
*''Initial visit: (without the Epic Weapon)''
"Ah, <name>! It is good that you are here, for a dire situation is at hand -- evil is afoot!"

"Well, which is it?" you ask. "A hand, or a foot?"

"Yes yes, very witty. Don't interrupt, this is important. Our guild has been tasked with the safekeeping of an ancient artifact of terrible power. We have protected it for hundreds of years, but now the unthinkable has happened, and it has been stolen right from under our nose!"

"From under your nose? I guess you should have kept a closer eye on it. Get it? Nose, eye, hand..."

"Shut up. It is vital that you take this seriously, for the thief is none other than your Nemesis!"

"...I have a Nemesis?"

"You do now. See what happens when you spend all of your time cracking jokes? Unfortunately, you do not possess the power needed to defeat him at this time. It will be necessary for you to reconstruct the Legendary Epic Weapon of the [Sauceror/Pastamancer], and the first step is to smith an Epic Weapon for yourself. Visit the meatsmith in Market Square for training in the art of smithery; I will provide you with the Meat necessary to acquire the proper tools. Once you have done that, you must find the two oldest and wisest men in the kingdom. One will be able to provide you with the first part of the weapon and, on certain days, a charm necessary to win the second part from the other, who owns the casino. It is a prize in one of his games of chance, but I cannot tell you which one. The third part of the Epic Weapon... well, you must find that for yourself.

"Once you have smithed the Epic Weapon, return to me for further instructions."
{{meat|amount=1000}}
*''Subsequent visits:''
"I note that you have not yet completed your Epic Weapon. Do not dawdle in this task, <name>, for time is of the essence."
*''After smithing the Epic Weapon:''
"I see you have smithed your Epic Weapon. Good, good.

However, the next step will be much more diffcult. Once you're ready, proceed to The "Fun" House in the Nearby Plains and seek out [[The Clownlord Beelzebozo]], the Clown Prince of Darkness. You must destroy him to acquire the final piece of the Legendary Epic Weapon. Once it is completed, return to me. Make haste, <name>!"

''Initial visit (with Epic Weapon already crafted):''

"Ah, <name>! It is good that you are here, for a dire situation is at hand -- evil is afoot!"

"Well, which is it?" you ask. "A hand, or a foot?"

"Yes yes, very witty. Don't interrupt, this is important. Our guild has been tasked with the safekeeping of an ancient artifact of terrible power. We have protected it for hundreds of years, but now the unthinkable has happened, and it has been stolen right from under our nose!"

"From under your nose? I guess you should have kept a closer eye on it. Get it? Nose, eye, hand..."

"Shut up. It is vital that you take this seriously, for the thief is none other than your Nemesis!"

"...I have a Nemesis?"

"You do now. See what happens when you spend all of your time cracking jokes? Unfortunately, you do not possess the power needed to defeat him at this time. It will be necessary for you to reconstruct the Legendary Epic Weapon of the [Sauceror/Pastamancer], and the first step is to smith an Epic Weapon for yourself."

"You mean like this one?" you ask, holding it up.

"Well now, that's unexpectedly expedient of you. Here, I'll reimburse you for the smithing costs. However, the next step will be much more difficult. Once you're ready, proceed to The "Fun" House in the Nearby Plains and seek out The Clownlord Beelzebozo, the Clown Prince of Darkness. You must destroy him to acquire the final piece of the Legendary Epic Weapon. When it is completed, return to me. Make haste, <name>!"
{{meat|amount=1000}}

*''Subsequent visits:''
"I don't wish to cause undue stress, <name>, but it is important that you acquire the Legendary Epic Weapon soon. The artifact your Nemesis stole from us must be retreived, or the results could be disastrous."
*''After smithing the Legendary Epic Weapon:''
"Ah, I see you have completed the Legendary Epic Weapon. Nicely done. As soon as we have located your Nemesis's lair, you'll be ready to retrieve the stolen artifact. Come back in a while, and I should be able to provide that information."

"Ah, you've returned, excellent. I've just received word of where your Nemesis' lair is located -- a cave hidden in the Big Mountains. I'll note its location on your map for you. Use your utmost caution, for it is certain that traps and guards will abound. However, time is of the essence -- we need that artifact back before the unspeakable happens!"
*''Subsequent visits:''
"Please make haste, <name>. We need you to defeat your Nemesis and retrieve that artifact as quickly as possible."

===[[Disco Bandit]] and [[Accordion Thief]]===
*''Initial visit (if you don't have your Epic Weapon):''
"Oh, hey, <name>, just in time. Listen, something major's just gone down, and we've got a real important job for you. Here's the skinny: The Department's in charge of hiding this artifact, see? This crazy dangerous thing that we've been keeping under wraps for hundreds of years. Well, damned if someone hasn't managed to steal it from us, and it turns out it's your Nemesis that did it, and we need you to get it back before the whole world goes ker-flooey. And this is serious, I'm not just jerkin' your chain here."

"Woah, hang on," you say. "Since when do I have a Nemesis?"

"Everyone else called 'not it'. Sorry pal, them's the breaks. Problem is, though, you're not nearly moxious enough to beat him yet. You're gonna need to get the Legendary Epic Weapon of the [Disco Bandit/Accordion Thief] first, and frankly, that's gonna take some doing. So, here's the plan: first, you need to make yourself an Epic Weapon. There's three parts you'll need to find, and you'll have to meatsmith them together yourself -- the meatsmith in Market Square can sell you the gear for that, and I'll pitch in for the cost.

"The first two parts, you can get from these two old guys -- people say they're the two oldest and wisest guys in the kingdom, but I dunno... well, one of 'em owns the casino, so I guess that's pretty wise. The part you need is a prize in one of his games, but I can't tell ya which one, and you'll need to be lucky to win. Real lucky. Now the other guy, if you get him on the right day, he'll be able to help you out with that, and he has the second part you need, too."

"And the third part?"

"You're on your own there, buddy. Sorry. When you get the Epic Weapon built, though, come back here and I'll fill you in on the rest of the plan." 
{{meat|amount=1000}}
:*''Subsequent visits:''
:"Hey, what's with the delay on that Epic Weapon? Quit slacking, slacker. This is important!"
:*''After smithing the Epic Weapon:''
:"You've got the Epic Weapon? Nice one!

:Okay, here's the next bit, but I'll warn ya, this isn't gonna be a walk in the park. See, you need one more thing to turn that weapon into the Legendary Epic Weapon of the [Disco Bandit/Accordion Thief], and to get it, you're gonna have to infiltrate The "Fun" House in the Nearby Plains and fight the Clownlord Beelzebozo, and lemme tell ya buddy, he's a real piece of work. But anyway, if you manage to complete the Legendary Epic Weapon, come back and let me know post-haste."
*''Initial visit (if you already had your Epic Weapon):''
"Oh, hey, <name>, just in time. Listen, something major's just gone down, and we've got a real important job for you. Here's the skinny: The Department's in charge of hiding this artifact, see? This crazy dangerous thing that we've been keeping under wraps for hundreds of years. Well, damned if someone hasn't managed to steal it from us, and it turns out it's your Nemesis that did it, and we need you to get it back before the whole world goes ker-flooey. And this is serious, I'm not just jerkin' your chain here."

"Woah, hang on," you say. "Since when do I have a Nemesis?"

"Everyone else called 'not it'. Sorry pal, them's the breaks. Problem is, though, you're not nearly moxious enough to beat him yet. You're gonna need to get the Legendary Epic Weapon of the [Disco Bandit/Accordion Thief] first, and frankly, that's gonna take some doing. So, here's the plan: first, you need to make yourself an Epic Weapon. There's three parts you'll need to find, and you'll have to meatsmith them together yourself -- the meatsmith in Market Square can sell you the gear for that, and I'll pitch in for the cost."

"I've already made an Epic Weapon," you say, holding it up. "It wasn't cheap though, so I'll gladly accept your offer of reimbursement."

"Yep, that's it, all right. Nice one! Okay, here's the next bit, but I'll warn ya, this isn't gonna be a walk in the park. See, you need one more thing to turn that weapon into the Legendary Epic Weapon of the [Disco Bandit/Accordion Thief], and to get it, you're gonna have to infiltrate The "Fun" House in the Nearby Plains and fight the Clownlord Beelzebozo, and lemme tell ya buddy, he's a real piece of work. But anyway, if you manage to complete the Legendary Epic Weapon, come back and let me know post-haste."
{{meat|amount=1000}}
*''Subsequent visits:''
"Hey, <name>. How's it going with that Legendary Epic Weapon? 'Cause, y'know, no pressure or anything, but it's pretty important that we get that artifact back on the double."
*''After smithing the Legendary Epic Weapon:''
"Hey, you got it! Nice! Now you're ready to bring the smackdown on that Nemesis of yours. I just got a report from our scouts on where he's holed up. There's a cave in the Big Mountains... here, I'll just mark it on your map. Now listen, make sure to keep your eyes peeled, right, because the place is bound to be filled with guards and booby-traps. So be careful, but be quick. We need you in and out and back with that artifact, like yesterday. Comprende?

[[Category:Quests]]