View source for Pen Pal Messages

{{NeedsContent|comment=More letters.  Also, some stories have parts that change, such as numbers, nouns and names.}}

After using [[My Own Pen Pal kit]], you will be assigned a Pen Pal, who will write you every day and send you a free item.

The message "New message received from Your Pen Pal." will be found in your recent events log.  You will get a letter from your Pen Pal immediately when using [[My Own Pen Pal kit]], once per day (banked up to 5 days when you don't log in), and when you ascend.

==Format==

The message is formatted in the following way:

 Dear <playername>:
 
 Greeting Phrase
 
 Fun Story
 
 Fun Story
 
 Fun Story (sometimes)
 
 Item-Giving Story
 
 Parting Phrase
 
 Your pen pal,
 <[[Pen Pal Names|alliterative name]]>

==Message Contents==

===Greeting Phrases===
*Ahoy! (That's what I would say if we were on a boat.)
*Arr, Matey. (That's how I'd say hi if I were a pirate.)
*Greetings from Distant Lands!
*Hello!
*Hello there!
*Heyo!
*Hiya!
*Hola! (I learned that in school) 
*How are things?
*How are things in the Kingdom of Loathing?
*Howdy!
*Howdy, Pardner!
*How's it going?
*How's the Adventuring going? 
*I hope you are healthy and happy. (<[[#Comments|Comment]]>)
*I hope your animals are well-groomed. (<[[#Comments|Comment]]>)
*I hope that your <[[#Family Members|Family Member]](Male)> is as strong as a mighty oak. (<[[#Comments|Comment]]>)
*I hope that your <[[#Family Members|Family Member]](Female)> is fresh as the morning dew. (<[[#Comments|Comment]]>)
*I hope this letter finds you.
*I hope this letter finds you well. (<[[#Comments|Comment]]>)
*I hope your <[[#Body Parts|Body-Part]]> has been freshly washed. (<[[#Comments|Comment]]>)
*I trust your <[[#Family Members|Family Member]]> is in good health. (<[[#Comments|Comment]]>)

====Comments====
*I learned that in school!
*I thought it would be funny to say that.
*My <[[#Family Members|Family Member]]> made me write that.
*My teacher, Mrs. <[[#Last Names|LastName]]>, said to always be polite.
*That's a traditional Distant Lands greeting!
*That's how my <[[#Family Members|Family Member]](Male)> says I should start letters. Only he calls 'em "correspondence" cause he's a lawyer.
*That's how my <[[#Family Members|Family Member]](Female)> says I should start letters. Only she calls 'em "missives" -- what's that all about?

===Fun Stories===
====About Parents:====
*My dad went a little crazy last night and painted my whole room <[[#Room Colors|room-color]]>. And I mean the *whole* room. So now my sheets are all stiff and everything smells like wet paint. Do you know how to get paint off of a video game? I'm seriously jonesing without my <[[#Video Games|Video Game]]> -- I mean, I just unlocked the variant <[[#Mount Colors|mount-color]]> Mount before all this happened!
*My dad's trying to get me into <[[#Hobbies|Hobby]]>, but I don't see the point. What a weird hobby! I'd rather be <[[#Hobbies|Hobby]]>.  
*Mom made <[[#Bad Food|Bad Food]]> for dinner again. Yuck! She said I couldn't go play <[[#Video Games|Video Game]]> until I'd cleaned my plate, so I had to choke it down. When I grow up I'm just gonna eat <[[#Candies|Candy]]> for every meal!
*My mom says I'm playing too many video games and getting too fat. So now when I get home from school, I have to <[[#Activities|Activity]]> for an hour before she'll let me in the house. I told her that all of my friends are way fatter than I am, and you know what she said? She said, "<[[#Adages|Adage]]>" I mean, what does that even mean?
*Mom kept pestering me to <[[#Chores|Chore]]> while I was playing <[[#Video Games|Video Game]]> today. I tried to tell her I was in the middle of a boss fight, but she made me do it anyway. She said "<[[#Adages|Adage]]>" I have no idea what she's talking about when she says stuff like that. Sometimes I wonder if I'm adopted.
*My mom totally spied through all my stuff and took all of the best issues of <[[#Comic Books|Comic Book]]>, can you believe it! I mean, sure, there's that scene where the guy gets his <[[#Body Organs|Body Organ]]> punched through with a railroad spike, but c'mon. I'm mature enough to handle that.
*After school today, I went down to the corner store to buy some <[[#Candies|Candy]]> and the new issue of <[[#Comic Books|Comic Book]]>, but it turned out I didn't have any money! Mom won't give me an advance on my allowance unless I <[[#Chores|Chore]]>. <[[#Lamentations|Lamentation]]>

====About the fort:====
*Me and <[[#Boy Names|BoyName]]> spent a few hours working on our <[[#Positive Adjectives|PositiveAdjective]]> tree fort yesterday. We're almost done with the <[[#Fort Rooms|FortRoom]]> and we're working on <[[#Fort Weapons|FortWeapons]]> to keep the girls out.
*<[[#Girl Names|GirlName]]> came by the fort today and asked to come in, but <[[#Boy Names|BoyName]]> said she should go <[[#Chores|Chore-Verb]]> her pet <[[#Pets|Pet]]> instead. She got real mad, but what do you expect? The signs clearly state "NO GIRLS ALLOWED". (Well, except for <[[#Girl Names|GirlName]]>, but she's basically one of the guys so she gets an exception.)
*Yesterday, we found a ton of <[[#Fort Building Material|FortBuildingMaterial]]> for our <[[#Positive Adjectives|PositiveAdjective]]> fort. <[[#Boy Names|BoyName]]> said we should use them to make a new <[[#Fort Rooms|FortRoom]]>, but I'd rather build <[[#Fort Weapons|FortWeapons]]>. We're putting it to a vote before the tribunal next week.
*Last weekend a bunch of us camped out overnight in our fort. We made a throne out of <[[#Fort Building Material|FortBuildingMaterial]]> for the Frightmaster to sit on, and took turns sitting on it and telling scary stories with a flashlight under our face. <[[#Boy Names|BoyName]]> told one about a ghost named <[[#Ghost Names|Ghost Name]]> who haunted the guy who stole his <[[#Room Colors|Color]]> <[[#Body Parts|Body-Part]]>. <[[#Boy Names|BoyName]]> was so scared he peed in his sleeping bag. It was totally <[[#Positive Adjectives|PositiveAdjective]]>.
*We just added a <[[#Fort Rooms|FortRoom]]> to the <[[#Positive Adjectives|PositiveAdjective]]> tree fort that me and <[[#Boy Names|BoyName]]> and <[[#Boy Names|BoyName]]> are building. Some of the girls came by while we were working on it, but we told them "No Girls Allowed." Then I had to run after and tell <[[#Girl Names|GirlName]]> <[[#Last Names|LastName]]> that she could come look after the other guys were gone.
*Me and <[[#Boy Names|BoyName]]> and <[[#Boy Names|BoyName]]> are building this awesome fort out in the woods. We just found a whole buttload of <[[#Fort Building Material|FortBuildingMaterial]]>, so we're going to use that to make it super-<[[#Positive Adjectives|PositiveAdjective]]>.
*Today we were sitting around the fort and <[[#Boy Names|BoyName]]> said we should do a raid on the fort that the kids from the other side of town made. It sounded like a good idea until <[[#Boy Names|BoyName]]> pointed out that Big <[[#Boy Names|BoyName]]> is in their gang. That took the wind out of our sails pretty quick! That guy is HUGE, and I bet he has to shave like twice a day. So we built <[[#Fort Weapons|FortWeapons]]> in case they decide to raid us.
*Me and <[[#Boy Names|BoyName]]> and <[[#Girl Names|GirlName]]> were out in the woods looking for more sticks for our <[[#Positive Adjectives|PositiveAdjective]]> fort and you'll never guess what we saw! Go ahead, guess! Oh, right. Anyway, we saw a dead body. I poked it with a stick, and it turned over, and we all ran and ran. I guess we ought to call the cops, but I figure they'll find him eventually anyway.

====About friends:====
*<[[#Boy Names|BoyName]]> <[[#Last Names|LastName]]> keeps talking about <[[#Hobbies|Hobby]]>. Who does that anymore? That was AGES ago! Nowadays everyone is <[[#Hobbies|Hobby]]>. What do they do for fun where you live? Maybe that'll be the next big thing over here!
*So my friend <[[#Boy Names|BoyName]]> <[[#Last Names|LastName]]> totally has a girlfriend now, and he said if she ever shows him her boobs, he'll tell me all about it. In detail. I guess that'll have to do until I get a girlfriend of my own. I've got my eye on <[[#Girl Names|GirlName]]> <[[#Last Names|LastName]]>, so we'll see what happens when I make my move.
*Yesterday I dared <[[#Boy Names|BoyName]]> <[[#Last Names|LastName]]> to throw a rock at Old Mr. <[[#Last Names|LastName]]>'s house. I didn't think he'd do it, but he totally did! The old man came running out in a dirty old bathrobe, waving his cane and yelling. I didn't really hear what he said because I was running too hard, but it sounded like "Arrrrgh blargle blargle blargle!" It was really scary, I thought he was gonna kill us! He isn't a very fast runner though.
*Today <[[#Boy Names|BoyName]]> <[[#Last Names|LastName]]> invited me over to his house after school. He's kind of a strange kid and we've never really been friends, but we've been classmates for like forever, so I went. They had this weird <[[#Room Colors|room-color]]> carpet in every room, and the whole place smelled like boiled <[[#Bad Food|Bad Food]]>. I looked at his collection of <[[#Hobbies|Hobby-Noun]]> and we played a little <[[#Video Games|Video Game]]>, and then I went home. It was pretty awkward the whole time. I hope he doesn't ask me again. 
*My friends are all going nuts about <[[#Hobbies|Hobby]]>, but I'd rather spend my time reading comics. The new issue of <[[#Comic Books|Comic Book]]> just came out!
*After school, I usually hang out with my friends, unless they ask me if I want to do drugs. Then I say, "I like you, but I don't like drugs. Let's <[[#Non Drugs Games|NonDrugsGame]]> instead!" That usually cures my problem of having any friends.
*We had some guy from the college come today and talk about pledging <Fraternity of three greek letterness, such as Pi Gamma Beta>, the big fraternity over there. I said I had enough friends without buying any, which was pretty funny, until he said he could tell that wasn't true just looking at me. It would've been okay if my former best friend <[[#Boy Names|BoyName]]> <[[#Last Names|LastName]]> had stuck up for me. Whatever. I have friends! I've got you, anyway.
*So there's this new kid in school, <[[#Boy Names|BoyName]]> "<Word><!-- Tarantula, Railroad Tracks-->" <[[#Last Names|LastName]]>, and he says his dad's a real-live hobo from the Kingdom of Loathing! Have you ever fought any hobos? I'll bet I could take a hobo if I had to. I mean, if I really totally had to. Especially if I could bring my favorite Pokëmann, <Pokëmann>.
*My mom says I should hang out with the new kid at school. His name's <[[#Boy Names|BoyName]]> <[[#Last Names|LastName]]>, if you can believe it. His mom packs him these weird organic lunches and when he gets close to peanuts, he swells up like a balloon. It's kind of a cool trick. I dunno. He's kind of a Poindexter, but I'm trying. I even traded him my <[[#Normal Food|Normal Food]]> at lunch yesterday for one of his gluten-free vegetable protein smoothies. I should get a medal.
*There's this totally cute new girl at school! Her name is <[[#Girl Names|GirlName]]> <[[#Last Names|LastName]]> and she's fantastic. I mean, she's a little weird; her mom packs her these gross organic lunches, and if she even smells a peanut, she gets all swollen and has to lie down, but she's still awesome. I wonder if she's into <[[#Hobbies|Hobby]]>? I dunno. How do you talk to girls?
*Can you help me settle an argument? The gang is having a big debate over what candy is the All-Time Best Candy Ever: <[[#Candies|Candy]]>, <[[#Candies|Candy]]>, or <[[#Candies|Candy]]>. (<[[#Boy Names|BoyName]]> <[[#Last Names|LastName]]> says it's <[[#Candies|Candy]]>. Ha ha yeah right!)
*<[[#Girl Names|GirlName]]> <[[#Last Names|LastName]]> asked me to go to the Sladie Thompkins dance with her. I haven't decided. She's alright, I guess. She's funny, and kind of cute. It's better than not being asked at all. I'd rather go with <[[#Girl Names|GirlName]]> <[[#Last Names|LastName]]> , but she's going out{{Typo|Missing "with"}} Mr. Bigshot <[[#Sports|Sport]]> star <[[#Boy Names|BoyName]]><alliterative [[#Last Names|LastName]]>, so fat chance of that. He thinks he's so cool, but he's a huge jerk. I don't know what she sees in him.
*Today <[[#Girl Names|GirlName]]> <[[#Last Names|LastName]]> came over after school and I showed him my pet <[[#Pets|Pet]]>, <[[#Pet Names|PetName]]>. He said that was a dumb name and said I should've named it <[[#Pet Names|PetName]]>, but what does he know? He named his pet <[[#Pets|Pet]]> <[[#Pet Names|PetName]]>, and that's just ridiculous.
*You'll never guess what my buddy <[[#Boy Names|BoyName]]> <[[#Last Names|LastName]]> showed me after school today. He had this magazine that he said his dad keeps hidden under a mattress, and he totally stole it. So, he opens the magazine and there's this big fold-out poster in the middle, and... The poster was this big list of instructions for <[[#Hobbies|Hobby]]>. I don't know why you'd hide a magazine like that, and I'm not sure why I was so disappointed. Go fig.

====About school:====
*Today at school Mrs. <[[#Last Names|LastName]]> taught us all about <[[#Hobbies|HobbyVerb]]> <[[#Craft Nouns|CraftNoun]]>. I was pretty <[[#Positive Adjectives|Positive Adjective]]> at it. 
*We had to dissect a/an <[[#Animals|Animal]]> <[[#Body Organs|Body Organ]]> in science class today. It was pretty disgusting, especially after I dared <[[#Boy Names|BoyName]]> <[[#Last Names|LastName]]> to eat part of it and he totally did.
*Coach <[[#Last Names|LastName]]> made us all take an extra shower after gym class today. Sometimes I wonder about that guy.
*They're holding try-outs for the school play next week. They're doing <[[#Play Name|PlayName]]>. <[[#Girl Names|GirlName]]> <[[#Last Names|LastName]]> is gonna be playing Princess <LastName?>'dreth, so if I got to be <[[#Last Names|LastName]]>'<[[#Elvish Suffix|ElfNameSuffix]]> I'd get to kiss her! Last time I tried out for a play, though, I had to be the stupid <[[#Pets|Animal]]>, so it's probably not worth the gamble.
*We had to take a physical fitness test in school today. It sucked! I had to run laps until I felt like my <[[#Body Organs|Body Organ]]> was going to explode, and then I couldn't do any pull-ups and Coach <[[#Last Names|LastName]]> called me a <[[#Insult|Insult]]>. I'll bet he's just mad that he didn't make the <[[#Sports|Sport]]> team when ''he'' was in school, the jerk.
*Our home room class got a new class mascot! It's a <[[#Pets|Pet]]>, and we named him <[[#Pet Names|PetName]]>. Well, a couple of kids wanted to name him <[[Hobo Names#Titles|Title]]> <[[Hobo Names#First Names|FirstName]]> <[[Hobo Names#Normal 2|Nickname]]> <[[Hobo Names#Last Names|LastName]]>, but Mrs. <[[#Last Names|LastName]]> stepped in.
*I just started an afterschool swimming program. Every other day, we do the <[[#Swimming Strokes|StrokeType]]> for at least a half an hour. I don't mind it much, except I wish we'd do it in a pool, not a swamp. Though I guess the vicious <[[#Swamp Animals|SwampAnimals]]> are good motivation to swim fast! I've already lost <Number> candygrams! Not sure how much that is in whatever weight unit you guys use.
*My buddies and I joined an after-school <[[#Sports|Sport]]> team. Oh, I think you call it "<[[#Sports|Sport]]>" over there, is that right? How confusing. Anyway, my mom says I spend way too much time playing video games (I like <[[#Video Games|Video Game]]> the best), so I have to play outside so I don't get fat. Whatever! I only weigh <Number> candygrams. I'm not sure how that converts to whatever weight you guys use.
*We had a math test at school today. Even though I studied for a good <Number> hours, I still only got a C on it. It sucks, because my Dad said if I got an A, he would buy me a bag of my favorite candy, <[[#Candies|Candy]]>. Oh, well.
*It must be real exciting to get to fight ogres and monsters all the time! I've only ever seen one ogre -- Mr. <[[#Last Names|LastName]]>, my Geography teacher. He's got a big pot belly and snaggly teeth and hair growing out of his ears and he's real grumpy all the time, so I'm pretty sure he's an ogre. He made me stay after class and <[[#Chores|Chore-Verb]]> the blackboard because I couldn't remember the name of some dumb river. If you're ever in town, I'll find out where he lives so you can hit him with your sword. That'll teach him! Ha ha ha, see what I did there?
*That big bully <[[#Boy Names|BoyName]]> <[[#Last Names|LastName]]> took my lunch money and tore up my copy of <[[#Comic Books|Comic Book]]> today. I hate him so much! Mr. <[[#Last Names|LastName]]> says if you ignore a bully, he'll lose interest. My dad says that's a crock of bullcrap (except he didn't say bullcrap, he said a bad word) and that the only way to deal with a bully is to smash his <[[#Body Parts|Body-Part]]> in. He's really big though! Maybe I should take some <ElvishSuffix>-fu lessons.<!-- "ron-fu", "dreth-fu" - I think it's using the same elvish suffixes as the school play -->
*We had to write a book report for school, so I did mine on issue 1.5 of <[[#Comic Books|Comic Book]]>. It's my favorite one coz it's the first appearance of The <[[#Super-Heroes|Super-Hero]]>. Mrs. Stafford said that wasn't appropriate material for a book report and gave me a D. She's just jealous coz all the books she has to read are really boring! I bet she's never even heard of The <[[#Super-Heroes|Super-Hero]]>! 
*I got clobbered at <[[#Sports|Sport]]> practice today, because I was watching the cheerleaders practice nearby -- mainly <[[#Girl Names|GirlName]]> <[[#Last Names|LastName]]>, but they all look amazing. I'm really jealous of <[[#Boy Names|BoyName]]>, the only guy cheerleader. He gets to lift the girls up by their butts and all sorts of stuff! I have no idea how he manages to concentrate on the routines.

====About scary things:====
*The other day, me and <[[#Boy Names|BoyName]]> went out to the <[[#Scary Place|ScaryPlace]]> by my house to look for treasure. It was scary! We had to run away from a bunch of <[[#Chasers|Chasers]]>, and I scraped my knee up pretty bad, but it was worth it, because we found a cool <[[#Treasure|Treasure]]>! 
*Guess what -- me and <[[#Boy Names|BoyName]]> solved the Mystery of <[[#Mystery Place|Mystery Place]]>! It turns out Old Man <[[#Last Names|LastName]]> was dressing up as a <[[#Scary Creature|ScaryCreature]]> to try to trick Mrs. <[[#Last Names|LastName]]> out of her <[[#Actual Treasure|Actual Treasure]]>. He said he'd have gotten away with it, too, if it hadn't been for our meddling.
*The other day me and <[[#Boy Names|BoyName]]> were playing <[[#Sports|Sport]]> over by the <[[#Scary Place|ScaryPlace]]> and he said he thought he saw a <[[#Scary Creature|ScaryCreature]]>. I told him they weren't real, and he got this weird look in his eyes and said "Oh, they're real. They're real, all right. You'll find out soon enough."
*The other day I was exploring out by the <[[#Scary Place|ScaryPlace]]> off of <[[#Street Name|StreetName]]> Street. My friend <[[#Boy Names|BoyName]]> says there's a <[[#Scary Creature|ScaryCreature]]> out there, but I don't believe him. I think it's a <[[#Scary Creature|ScaryCreature]]>-<[[#Scary Creature|ScaryCreature]]>, and I'm gonna catch it!

====About hobbies:====
*<[[#Boy Names|BoyName]]> has been trying to get me into <[[#Hobbies|Hobby]]> for ages, so I gave it a shot. <[[#Hobby Comments|Hobby Comment]]>
*All of my friends are getting into <[[#Hobbies|Hobby]]>, but I think it's just a fad.
*I heard that all the cool kids over there are <[[#Hobbies|Hobby]]>. I think it sounds a little <[[#Negative Adjectives|NegativeAdjective]]>, but maybe I'll give it a try.
*I just read a bunch of manuals about <[[#Hobbies|Hobby]]>, and can't wait to try it!
*I just started this cool new hobby: <[[#Hobbies|Hobby]]>. <[[#Hobby Comments|Hobby Comment]]>
*Since my last letter, I've gotten obsessed with <[[#Hobbies|Hobby]]>. <[[#Hobby Comments|Hobby Comment]]>
*There's a new afterschool club for <[[#Hobbies|Hobby]]>. I think I might join it. I mean, I'm not really into that stuff, but <[[#Girl Names|GirlName]]> <[[#Last Names|Last Name]]> is a member, and I figure maybe if I get there early I could sit next to her.

=====Hobby Comments=====
*After a few tries, though, I'm pretty disappointed with it
*At first, I was <[[#Negative Adjectives 2|NegativeAdjective2]]> with how hard it was to get going, but now I'm pretty <[[#Positive Adjectives|Positive Adjective]]> at it.
*Do people do that over there? You should try it!
*Even though I got a few cuts on my <[[#Body Parts|Body-Part]]> while I was learning, now I'm doing <[[#Positive Adjectives|Positive Adjective]]> with it.
*Hopefully, someday I'll meet someone who's impressed with the time and effort I've put into it.
*I have to say, I'm pretty doing pretty neat with it! Maybe I'll send you some photographs.
*It's pretty hard, but it's definitely more fun than <[[#Hobbies|Hobby]]> like I was doing before.
*It's really rewarding! I don't feel lonely at all when I'm doing it.

====Misc:====
*I just got a new pet <[[#Pet|Pet]]>! I named it <[[#Pet Names|PetName]]>. Mom says I can keep him if I look after him and <[[#Chores|Chore-Verb]]> him every day. She said if I get sick of him, she knows a really nice farm where he can go and live, so there's really no pressure.
*Are you good at video games? I can't beat Area <Number>-<Number> of <[[#Video Games|Video Game]]>. It's got platforms that disappear and too many turrets and IF you make it to the boss he shoots you with missiles and if he kills you, you have to go all the way back to the beginning! Arrrrrrrrrgh!! Mom heard me yelling at it and said if I wasn't having fun I should stop playing. Parents just don't understand video games!
*Yesterday we went exploring in the <[[#Scary Place|ScaryPlace]]> over by Old Man <[[#Last Names|LastName]]>'s farm. He got mad and yelled at us for tresspassing, but we managed to grab a neat <[[#Treasure|Treasure]]> before we left.
*Life here is the same as it ever was. Every morning, I have to <[[#Chores|Chore]]> before I can eat breakfast. Usually, I have a big plate of <[[#Normal Food|Normal Food]]> with a side of <[[#Side Food|Side Food]]>, and wash it down with a glass of <[[#Beverage|Beverage]]>.
*I still have to <[[#Chores|Chore]]> to earn my allowance, and I usually blow it on comic books and bubble gum. My favorite comic right now is <[[#Comic Books|Comic Book]]> -- <[[#Comic Comment|Comic Comment]]>
=====Comic Comment=====
*I can't believe the stuff he gets up to every month!
*I couldn't believe the cliffhanger at the end of the last issue!

===Item-Giving Stories===
(For detailed information about which item you get, and when, see [[My Own Pen Pal kit]])
====Muscle Classes====
*I made this ashtray for my parents in art class, but when I gave it to them they got mad at me for knowing what an ashtray was. They wanted to throw it away, but I convinced them to let me send it to you, instead. They say it's a good thing you live so far away, because you're probably a bad influence.
{{acquire|item=giant clay ashtray}}
*I made this lanyard in art class. I don't know what a lanyard is, but Mrs. <[[#Last Names|Last Name]]> says this is a pretty good example of one. I hope you can figure out something to do with it.
{{acquire|item=orange leather lanyard}}
*My mom made me a super scary monster suit for the school play. She had to make two pairs of pants, though, because she made the first ones too big. Maybe they'll fit you?
{{acquire|item=monster pants}}
*Adventurers get hurt a lot, don't they? I heard that they do. You can have the rest of my band-aids -- I used all the cool ones already anyway.
{{acquire|item=box of Pokëmann band-aids}}
====Mysticality Classes====
*I made this cool helmet in my science class, but Mr. <[[#Last Names|Last Name]]> said it was too dangerous and he made me take it home. I'm bored with it anyway, so you can have it.
{{acquire|item=Van der Graaf helmet}}
*<[[#Boy Names|BoyName]]> from my science class has a broken foot, so I made him this special crutch to help him walk faster. He didn't like it, though. It's too short for me, so I guess you can have it.
{{acquire|item=electric crutch}}
*I made this to keep my pet <[[#Pets|Pet]]> <[[#Pet Names|PetName]]> from trying to escape the house, but I think I put it together inside out. I keep accidentally shocking myself when I touch it, so you can have it.
{{acquire|item=shock belt}}
*This is a new kind of soda they're test-marketing in my region. It tastes weird -- every can is different. Anyway, I thought if they don't have it where you live you might like to try a can. Sorry if it got warm in the mail.
{{acquire|item=Okee-Dokee soda}}
====Moxie Classes====
*I've enclosed a cool rubber band gun. Mrs. <[[#Last Names|Last Name]]> said if she caught me carrying this at school again, she'd confiscate it. I don't think I can resist the temptation, though, so you should probably have it.
{{acquire|item=rubber band gun}}
*My mom got me these pants, but they're way too big for me. She says I'll grow into 'em, but I think they look stupid, so I'm just gonna send 'em to you and tell her I lost 'em.
{{acquire|item=pin-stripe slacks}}
*I invented these great gloves. They're regular gloves, but they're covered with maple syrup on the outside, so it's way easier to pick stuff up. Mr. <[[#Last Names|Last Name]]> at the comic book shop said it made it a little too easy to pick stuff up, especially stuff like Pokëmann cards I hadn't paid for. He banned me from the store until I got rid of the gloves, but they're so cool that somebody ought to have them.
{{acquire|item=sticky gloves}}
*I found this in the trash by my mom's desk -- it smells kind of funny. I thought maybe you'd know what it was for.
{{acquire|item=correction fluid}}
====Out of Restrictions====
*My mom got this big variety pack of juice boxes, and it came with this super-gross one -- I dare you to drink it!
{{acquire|item=fish juice box}}
*My dad gave me this -- I told him I wanted a sword and shield kit so I could grow up to be an Adventurer, but he said that was stupid and childish and that there was no future in it. Anyway, this is dumb and boring and you can have it.
{{acquire|item=Li'l Businessman Kit}}
*Do they have these where you live? They're so hot! I can eat three of them at a time. One time I tried to eat four, and I had to go to the nurse.
{{acquire|item=Nuclear Blastball}}
*I made this in art class, but Mrs. <[[#Last Names|LastName]]> said she didn't consider vandalism to be art, and she wouldn't put it in the art show at the State Fair. I'm sending it to you so my mom doesn't find it.
{{acquire|item=paint bomb}}
*I put a ton of quarters into the Pokëmann vending machine today, trying to get the ultra-rare Kleptone figure, but no such luck! Here's one of my extras.
''or''
*I bought some new Pokëmann figurines today. I wish you could pick the one you got, I keep getting doubles! You can have this one.
''or''
*I wish they'd come out with a new series of Pokëmann figures! I've got nearly all of the current series, and I keep getting dupes. Here's one for you.
''or''
*Do you collect Pokëmanns? I think they're neat. I got doubles of this one, so you can have it.
{{acquire|item=Pokëmann}}
*My mom gave my dad this rubber ball thing as a present. He got pretty mad, and said "That's not what I meant." Then he gave the ball to me and locked himself in his study. I played with it for a while, but got bored, so I figured I'd send it on to you.
{{acquire|item=stress ball}}
*My mom got me this shirt, but it's a little too big for me, and plus, these things have been out of style for like twenty years. Maybe it'll fit you? I know Adventurers don't have much fashion sense, so it shouldn't embarrass you too much...
{{acquire|item=Ultracolor™ shirt}}
*I found this weird gross weed growing in my fishbowl -- I guess dad was right when he told me I should clean it more often. Anyway, I thought you'd wanna see how gross it was, so I'm sending it to you.
{{acquire|item=willyweed}}

===Parting Phrases===
*Anyway, talk to you later!
*Anyway, write me back sometime!
*Gotta go, I'll write more later!
*Hasta la vista! I learned that in class, that's Borderspeak for goodbye!
*I'll tell you more about it next time.
*Mom's yelling for me to come to dinner, so I guess that's all for now!
*My dad's shouting about something, I'd better go see what he wants. Bye!
*Not much else has been happening. Bye!
*Okay, bye!
*Okay, gotta go. Write me back!
*Okay, smell ya later!
*That's all I can think of to tell you. See you later! (Well not really but you know what I mean.)
*Well, I gotta go get dressed out for my <[[#Sports|Sport]]> game tonight. Later!

==Word Lists==

===Pets===
*banana slug
*boa constrictor
*budgie
*cat
*dog
*earwig
*ferret
*gerbil
*goldfish
*guinea pig
*hamster
*hissing cockroach
*kitten
*marmoset
*parakeet
*puppy
*rat
*Siamese fighting fish
*sugar glider
*tarantula
*Vietnamese pot-bellied pig
*weasel

===Animals===
*earthworm
*eel
*emu
*frog
*hissing cockroach
*kookaburra
*kiwi
*lemur
*llama
*marmoset
*pig
*shark

===Pet Names===
*Cuddleface
*Cuddles
*Cuddlesworth
*Cutesworth
*Ed
*Fido
*Harry
*Mr. Cuddles
*Mr. Cuddlesworth
*Mr. Fuzzy
*Mr. Snugglesworth
*Mr. Woogie
*Mrs. Cuddleface
*Mrs. Fuzzy
*Mrs. Snuggles
*Mrs. Woogie
*Rex
*Snuggleface
*Snuggles
*Stinky
*Tiny
*Whiskers

===Adjectives===
*delicious
*sleazy
*unobtrusive

===Chores===
A verb, followed by a noun. Sometimes used individually.
{{PenPalText|Verb|Noun|
*brush
*comb
*clean
*depilitate
*exfoliate
*feed
*filter
*groom
*hose down
*laminate
*mop
*muck out
*rake
*scour
*shine
*sweep
*tidy
*wash
|
*dad's shoes
*my little brother
*my little sister
*mom's cuticles
*my room
*the bathroom
*the chicken coop
*the chickens
*the dishes
*the dog
*the floor
*the furnace
*the kitchen
*the kitchen sink
*the rabbit hutch
*the rabbits
*the table
*the toilet
*the windows
}}

===Bad Food===
*arugula
*asparagus
*boiled crab apples
*broccoli
*carrots
*chitterlings
*cocktail weenies
*corned beef hash
*creamed arugula
*creamed rutabaga
*croutons
*deviled eggs
*flan
*fried cucumbers
*frozen parsnips
*mashed potatoes
*neck bacon
*open-faced neck bacon
*pizza rolls
*pound cake
*processed cheese spread
*soda crackers
*sponge cake
*tortilla chips

===Normal Food===
*bacon bits
*baklava
*boiled beets
*boiled cabbage
*chocolate-chip cookies
*cocktail weenies
*deviled eggs
*mashed potatoes
*mini-quiches
*pizza rolls
*pound cake
*pressed cauliflower
*soda bread
*spareribs

===Side Food===
*broccoli
*cinnamon
*crab apples
*french fries
*neck bacon
*parsnips
*radishes
*rhubarb
*rutabaga
*stuffing
*tomatoes

===Beverage===
*bacon grease
*clarified butter
*crème de menthe
*gravy
*"juice"
*ketchup
*mayonnaise
*mustard
*Ovaltine
*squeezings
*Tang

===Candies===
Candies names are in three parts: <Adjective> <Flavor> <Shape>

{{PenPalText|Adjective|Flavor|Shape|
*Basted
*Bitter
*Burning
*Caramel <!--Yes, first as well as second-->
*Chocolate
*Corn
*Crazy
*Dark
*Dipped
*Electric
*Exploding
*Fizzy
*Flaming
*Frosted
*Fruity
*Glistening
*Gooey
*Hard
*Honey
*Horehound <!--Yes, first as well as second-->
*Nutty
*Painted
*Peppermint
*Rock
*Rolled
*Salted
*Saltwater
*Savory
*Smooth
*Sour
*Soy
*Spicy
*Spinning
*Sugar
*Swedish
*Taffy
*Ultra
*Whirled
*Whirling
*Wild
|
*Bitter
*Bobcat
*Caramel <!--Yes, first as well as second-->
*Celery
*Cherry
*Cinnamon
*Coffee
*Corn
*Curry
*Fudge
*Hickory
*Horehound <!--Yes, first as well as second-->
*Lemon
*Licorice
*Orange
*Pellets
*Peppermint
*Radish
*Razzleberry
*Root Beer
*Sour
*Soy
*Spearmint
*Sweet
*Wasabi
*Wintergreen
*Zinc
|
*Balls
*Bars
*Beans
*Bears
*Coils
*Crystals
*Dip
*Drops
*Fish
*Frogs
*Goldthwaits
*Jewels
*Knuckles
*Krinkles
*Logs
*Lumps
*Nuggets
*Orbs
*Pellets
*Rabbits
*Ribbons
*Snakes
*Sticks
*Straws
*Tubes
*Wads
*Wheels
*Whips
}}

===Mystery Place===
{{PenPalText|Adjective|Noun|
*Dead Man's
*Deadly
*Ghost
*Pirate's
*Sleepy
*The Haunted
*Witch
|
*Cave
*Cove
*Creek
*Hollow
*Mansion
*Woods
}}

===Scary Place===
Optional adjective(s) followed by a place:
{{PenPalText|Adjective|Place|
*abandoned 
*condemned
*haunted 
*old
*scary
*spooky 
|
*cave
*factory
*forest
*mansion
*mineshaft
*quarry
}}

===Scary Creature===
*ghost
*mummy
*skeleton
*vampire
*werewolf
*wolfman
*zombie

===Girl Names===
<div style="-moz-column-count: 4">
*Abby
*Addison
*Agatha
*Ainsleigh
*Allie
*Amy
*Ashleigh
*Autumn
*Bagitha
*Brianna
*Brooklyn
*Cindy-Lou
*Debby
*Emily
*Fiona
*Fiorella
*Genesis
*Jamie
*Jenny
*Julie
*Kimmy
*Mackenzie
*Madison
*Maggie
*Margie
*Morgan
*Nevaeh
*Patty
*Peyton
*Regan
*Riley
*Sally
*Serenity
*Tabitha
*Veronica
</div>

===Boy Names===
(I assume these'll end up being from the same set as your pal's, but just in case...)
<div style="-moz-column-count: 4">
*Andy
*Avery
*Bagitha
*Benny
*Bert
*Billy
*Bobby
*Brayden
*Brennen
*Carter
*Chip
*Charlie
*Chuck
*Chuckie
*Cole
*Curly 
*Danny
*Davey
*Donny
*Flayden
*Frankie
*Freddy
*Georgie
*Hank
*Henry
*Jack
*Jimmy
*Joey
*Johnny
*Larry
*Logan
*Marky
*Marty
*Mason
*Matty
*Mickey
*Mikey
*Nate
*Ollie
*Parker
*Pauly
*Reed
*Ricky
*Robby
*Ronnie
*Stevie
*Timmy
*Todd
*Tommy
*Vinnie
*Wally
*Willy
*Woody
</div>

===Room Colors===
*amber
*aquamarine
*azure
*black
*brown
*buff
*cornflower
*golden
*indigo
*mauve
*mustard
*ochre
*orange
*puce
*purple
*ruby
*scarlet
*sepia
*sienna
*tan
*taupe
*teal
*ultramarine
*white
*yellow

===Mount Colors===
*Amethyst
*Azure
*Diamond
*Emerald
*Gold
*Sapphire
*Silver
*Topaz

===Video Games===
Video games are in the format <VG Word1> <VG Word2> <Number>

{{PenPalText|VG Word1|VG Word2|Number|
*''Assassin's''
*''Call of''
*''Cyborg''
*''Dead''
*''Devil''
*''Dragon''
*''Evil''
*''Final''
*''Gears of''
*''Kill''
*''Mind''
*''Mass''
*''Mind''
*''Modern''
*''Monkey''
*''Mortal''
*''Pokëmann''
*''Resident''
*''Silent''
*''Solid''
*''Space''
*''Splatter''
*''Star''
*''World of''
*''Zombie''
|
*''Age''
*''Black''
*''Combat''
*''Control''
*''Creed''
*''Duty''
*''Effect''
*''Fantasy''
*''Galaxy''
*''Hill''
*''Iron''
*''Island''
*''Pirate''
*''Punk''
*''Ridge''
*''Rising''
*''Road''
*''Snake''
*''Steel''
*''Warfare''
*''Zone''
|
*''1.5''
*''2''
*''3''
*''4''
*''5''
*''6''
*''7''
*''8''
*''9''
*''10''
*''11''
*''12''
*''13''
*''14''
*''15''
}}

===Comic Books===
Comic books are of one of the forms:
*<Intro> <Name>
*<Intro> <Name> and the <[[#Superheroes|Superhero]]>
*<Intro> <Name> vs. the <[[#Superheroes|Superhero]]>
{{PenPalText|Intro|Name|
*''Alternate-Universe''
*''Fightin' ''
*''Fist-Fighting''
*''Hard-Boiled''
*''Legendary''
*''Sergeant''
*''The Adventures of''
*''The Amazing''
*''The Astonishing''
*''The Baffling Tales of''
*''The Bizarre Adventures of''
*''The Exploits of ''
*''The Extraordinary''
*''The Fantastic''
*''The Fugitive''
*''The Further Adventures of''
*''The Impossible Adventures of''
*''The Incredible''
*''The Ineffable''
*''The Infamous''
*''The Inscrutable''
*''The Legend of''
*''The Marvelous''
*''The Mighty''
*''The Mysterious''
*''The Spectacular''
*''The Startling Tales of''
*''Two-Fisted''
*''Untold Tales of''
*''Weird''
|
*''Ace Dirge''
*''Aldous Capulet''
*''Alvin''
*''Bert Spade''
*''Biff Black''
*''Biff Dread''
*''Bix Hardy''
*''Brock Dark''
*''Brock Dusk''
*''Brock Fear''
*''Brucie''
*''Cal Black''
*''Cliff Black''
*''Cliff Fear''
*''Craig Jones''
*''Curly''
*''Dan Johnson''
*''Del Haskell''
*''Dex Black''
*''Dirk Gently''
*''Dirk Spade''
*''Douglas McMahon''
*''Earl Payne''
*''Franklin Slade''
*''Goblins''
*''Ike Madison''
*''Jedediah''
*''Jethro Miller''
*''Jim Gray''
*''Joe Black''
*''Joey''
*''Jonsey''
*''Leroy''
*''Louis Young''
*''Mac Black''
*''Mac Blood''
*''Mac Spade''
*''Malvolio Spade''
*''Manuel Meadows''
*''Mark Sloan''
*''Martin''
*''Mikhail''
*''Mitch Fear''
*''Morgan Berry''
*''Necromancer''
*''Nick Grim''
*''Noah Woodward''
*''Ogilvy Gently''
*''Princess''
*''Quinn''
*''Randy Wallace''
*''Rock Dusk''
*''Ryan''
*''Sorcerer''
*''Staniel Spade''
*''Sting Payne''
*''Trace Dirge''
*''Travis Slade''
*''Tribe''
*''Trolls''
*''Tucker Williams''
*''Victor''
*''Vinnie Bullet''
*''Warrior''
*''Witch''
*''Woody Payne''
}}

===Superheroes===
Superhero names are composed of an adjective and a noun.
{{PenPalText|Adjective|Noun|
*''Amazing''
*''Ancient''
*''Blue''
*''Bobcat''
*''Chartreuse''
*''Cornflower''
*''Delightful''
*''Dinosaur''
*''Dragon''
*''Fire''
*''Furious''
*''Ice''
*''Illogical''
*''Improbable''
*''Invisible''
*''Lavender''
*''Lemur''
*''Lightning''
*''Ludicrous''
*''Lunar''
*''Maroon''
*''Mauve''
*''Mighty''
*''Monkey''
*''Moon''
*''Mysterious''
*''Nameless''
*''Ochre''
*''Olive''
*''Orange''
*''Pistol-Packing''
*''Poison''
*''Quantum''
*''Red''
*''Reptilian''
*''Screaming''
*''Shirtless''
*''Squamous''
*''Uncontrollable''
*''Unfathomable''
*''Unimaginable''
*''Vermilion''
|
*''Armageddon''
*''Bastard''
*''Bats''
*''Blasphemy''
*''Brigade''
*''Cats''
*''Cloud''
*''Commandos''
*''Dogs''
*''Fiends''
*''Fist''
*''Gang''
*''Gods''
*''Goldthwait''
*''Invaders''
*''Kids''
*''Ladies''
*''Lasses''
*''Legion''
*''Mystery''
*''Ninjas''
*''Noise''
*''Object''
*''Owls''
*''Patrol''
*''Pirates ''
*''Pope''
*''Secret''
*''Sorceress''
*''Squad''
*''Squadron''
*''Swarm''
*''Turtles''
*''Warriors''
}}

===Chasers===
{{PenPalText|Adjective|Noun|
*angry
*crazy
*drunk
*mean
*rabid
*stray
|
*bullies
*coyotes
*hobos
*wolves
}}

===Treasure===
{{PenPalText|Adjective|Noun|
*antique
*glass
*gold
*iron
*obsidian
*platinum
*rusty
*silver
|
*arrowhead
*coin
*compass
*knife
*necklace
*protractor
*ring
*watch
}}

===Actual Treasure===
*collection of antiques
*heirloom jewels
*secret family cake recipe
*valuable old paintings

===Family Members===
*aunt
*brother
*cousin
*dad
*father
*girlfriend
*grandfather
*grandma
*grandmother
*grandpa
*mom
*niece
*sister
*son
*uncle
*wife

===Body Parts===
(Quite possibly the same list of body parts used for attack messages)
*arm
*ankle
*appendix
*calf
*ear
*head
*groin
*kidney
*leg
*liver
*lower back
*neck
*pancreas
*shoulder
*skull
*solar plexus
*throat

===Body Organs===
*appendix
*brain
*gall bladder
*kidney
*larynx
*lung
*lymph node
*spleen
*stomach
*thyroid
*vascular system

===Last Names===
<div style="-moz-column-count: 4">
*Adams
*Aiden
*Alvarado
*Armstrong
*Atkinson
*Baird
*Bartlett
*Belvedere
*Benjamin
*Blackwell
*Blanchard
*Blankenship
*Bradshaw
*Branch
*Britt
*Brooks
*Brown
*Browning
*Buchanan
*Buck
*Bullock
*Burke
*Cantrell
*Capulet
*Carpenter
*Cartwright
*Castaneda
*Castillo
*Clements
*Cleveland
*Conner
*Copeland
*Conway
*Cortez
*Crane
*Crawford
*Daugherty
*Davidson
*Davis
*Delacruz
*Dominguez
*Dunn
*DuPree
*Edwards
*Erickson
*Everett
*Ferguson
*Figueroa
*Fitzgerald
*Franklin
*Gallagher
*Garza
*Gonzalez
*Goodman
*Guerrero
*Gutierrez
*Hamilton
*Harris
*Harrison
*Hatfield
*Hendricks
*Hester
*Holland
*Holloway
*Houston
*Humphrey
*Hutchinson
*Jefferson
*Jennings
*Kidd
*Lawson
*Lennon
*Levine
*Livingston
*Luna
*MacDonald
*Madison
*Martinez
*Matthews
*McDaniel
*McDonald
*McDowell
*McIntosh
*McLaughlin
*McPherson
*Melendez
*Montgomery
*Moon
*Morgan
*Morin
*Morrison
*Murphy
*Nelson
*Nipperus
*O'Connor
*O'Donnell
*O'Sullivan
*Patterson
*Pennington
*Rasmussen
*Reynolds
*Richards
*Richardson
*Richmond
*Roberson
*Rollins
*Romero
*Roosevelt
*Salisbury
*Sandoval
*Santiago
*Schneider
*Schroeder
*Schwartz
*Smith
*Solis
*Stemple
*Stephenson
*Stevenson
*Sullivan
*Symington
*Tate
*Thompson
*Thornton
*Trujillo
*Tyler
*Valenzuela
*Velez
*Villarreal
*Walker
*Washington
*Westinghouse
*Whitaker
*Whitehead
*Williams
*Young
*Zimmerman
</div>

===Ghost Names===
*Damien
*Draco
*Lucius
*Raven
*Vlad
*Vladimir

===Adages===
Adages are composed of two parts:
{{PenPalText|Part 1|Part 2|
*Ask a silly question,
*For the want of a nail,
*Give a man a fish and he'll eat for a day,
*If the mountain won't come to Mohammed,
*If you can't stand the heat,
*If your best friend picked his nose and ate it,
*If your best friend jumped off a cliff,
*It's not whether you win or lose,
*Laugh and the world laughs with you, 
*When all you have is a hammer
*When the going gets tough,
|<!-- part 2 can, occasionally, match up properly -->
*but how you play the game.
*but you can't make him drink.
*cry and you cry alone.
*every problem looks like a nail.
*Hallmark.
*in for a pound.
*teach a man to fish and he'll eat for a lifetime.
*the mice will play.
*the shoe was lost.
*the tough get going.
*try, try again.
*would you do it, too?
}}

===Activities===
*dig ditches and fill them back in
*do jumping jacks
*jam my hands in a barrel of rice
*jog
*punch sacks of potatoes
*ride a pogo stick
*ride my bike
*sit under a waterfall
*stand on my head
*swim
*walk over hot coals

===Sports===
*badminton
*baseball
*basketball
*billiards
*bowling
*curling
*duck, duck, goose
*field hockey
*football
*foursquare
*golf
*hockey
*Jai Alai
*kickball
*miniature golf
*roller derby
*rollerball
*rugby
*soccer
*tetherball
*ultimate frisbee
*volleyball

===Street Name===
<!--Possibly from the last names pool?-->
*Alexander
*Atkinson
*Blanchard
*Cardenas
*Crawford
*Dickerson
*Dominguez
*Franklin
*Gonzales
*Lancaster
*Martinez
*McFarland
*McMillan
*Reynolds
*Richardson
*Robinson
*Schroeder
*Strickland
*Sullivan
*Whitaker
*Wilkerson

===Hobbies===
A verb followed by a noun:
{{PenPalText|Verb|Noun|
*applying decals to
*arranging
*boycotting
*braiding
*building
*collecting
*crocheting
*drawing
*painting
*protesting
*raising
*remixing 
*selling
*sketching
*stealing
*tanning
*trading
*upcycling
|
*baseball cards
*bottle caps
*bottlecaps
*bowling cards
*BRICKO sculptures
*catfish
*chickens
*chinchillas
*coins
*flowers
*iron filings
*lace doilies
*little green army men
*Lucky Surprise Eggs
*matchbook covers
*miniature golf cards
*model airplanes
*model boats
*model robots
*model ships
*model trains
*rabbits
*rollerball cards
*rugby cards
*ships in a bottle
*stamps
*sweaters
*tiny plastics
*weird vintage postcards
*wool hats
}}

===Craft Nouns===
*a clarinet
*a cummerbund
*a football
*a hair
*a jigsaw puzzle
*a necktie
*a thermos
*a towel
*a tube of toothpaste

===Fort Building Material===
*aluminum siding
*burned-out fluorescent light tubes
*damp cardboard
*discarded chicken bones
*empty beer kegs
*greasy linoleum
*old manhole covers
*old tires
*plastic milk-crates
*razor wire
*rusty-nail-studded lumber
*rusty rebar
*shingles
*soggy drywall
*splintery wooden pallets
*stolen cinderblocks
*tar paper
*warped plywood

===Fort Rooms===
*bathroom
*boiler room
*bomb shelter
*coat-check
*communications room
*crow's nest
*disco
*hot tub
*kitchen
*laboratory
*sauna
*torture chamber
*walk-in freezer
*war room

===Fort Weapons===
*a boiling oil cauldron
*a hair-seeking bubblegum cannon
*a hedge maze
*an alligator-filled moat
*an iron portcullis
*anti-personnel mines
*a robot guard
*a snake pit
*insulting signs
*laser-guided missiles
*stinkbombapults
*water balloon cannons

===Lamentations===
*Alas!
*Consarnit!
*Darn. Darn it to heck.
*How depressing. 
*Oh, woe is me.
*Today is the worst day of my life.
*Why me?

===Positive Adjectives===
*awesome
*cool
*far-out
*good
*great
*killer
*neat
*nifty
*radical
*super-swell
*sweet
*swell
*tubular
*wicked

===Negative Adjectives===
*bad
*cheap
*crunchy
*disgusting
*funny
*poor

===Negative Adjectives 2===
<!-- A separate set for hobby depression, unless someone knows better-->
*aghast
*despondent
*livid

===Elvish Suffix===
*born
*dreth
*driel
*eri
*findel
*rod
*ron
*rond
*uil

===Play Name===
Plays are formed of 3 parts: <Event> of the <Adjective> <Noun>:
{{PenPalText|Event|Adjective|Noun|
*Curse
*Dawn
*Death
*Dream
*Journey
*Lore
*Path
*Song
*War
|
*Cave
*Dwarf
*Goblin
*Mountain
*River
*Witch
*Wolf
|
*Barbarian
*Giant
*Necromancer
*People
*Sorcerer
*Tribe
*Wizard
}}

===Insult===
*crapsack
*loser
*lumpy-butt
*nerd
*Poindexter
*screw-up
*scrofulous varlet

===Swimming Strokes===
*breaststroke
*butterfly
*caterpillar
*dog paddle
*dolphin crawl
*flywheel

===Swamp Animals===
*alligators
*bullfrogs
*copperhead snakes
*crocodiles
*rabid beavers
*swamp rats
*swamp sharks

===Non Drugs Games===
*calculate actuarial tables
*diagram sentences
*do long division
*play capture-the-flag
*play freeze tag
*play marbles
*volunteer at the soup kitchen


[[Category:Miscellaneous]]