View source for "Handyman" Jay Android

{{battle|text=This robot was designed to "help out" around the house. You know, say you're a lonely housewife, and you've got a "light bulb" that needs "changed." Or maybe your "drain" is clogged, and you need someone to "plumb" it. Or your "lawn" is covered in "leaves" that you need "raked." Or your "kitchen door" is "loose" on its "hinges" and won't stop "squeaking," and you need someone to squirt "oil" in them over and over until you're "satisfied" the job is done. He has plenty of "attachments" to handle every "situation."

So, y'know, he just does "odd jobs." Why are you blushing?

|hit=He pokes you with a spinning, whirring, vibrating, tubular "appendage." It's probably some kind of "vacuum cleaner." {{ouch|2}} {{element|sleaze}}

He "tightens" some of your "lug nuts." {{ouch|2}}

He "changes" the "spark plugs" on a "1985 Honda Accord." You don't even know what that means, but it hurts. {{ouch|2}}

He "fixes" your "screen door." Um, then he punches you in the face. {{ouch|2}}

He "opens" some of your "jars." {{ouch|2}}

|critical=He uses his "hammer," his "screwdriver," his "crescent wrench," and several tubes of "caulk" to "overhaul" your "central heating and cooling system." {{ouch|2}}

|miss=He whips out a spinning, whirring, vibrating, tubular appendage. You stand well back from it.

He tries to "tighten" your "lug nuts," but you're not having any of that, quotation marks or not.

He tries to "swap out" your "spark plugs," but you tell him to stay away from those.

He tries to "fix" your "screen door," but you decline.

He gives you a suggestive wink. Well, that explains all the "quotation marks."

|fumble=Something shorts out in his positronic brain, and he just rocks back and forth saying, "Handyman Jay, whaddaya say?" for a few minutes.
}}

{{acquire|item=neurostim pill|chance=5%}}
{{acquire|item=physiostim pill|chance=10%}}
{{acquire|item=sham champagne|chance=20%}}
{{acquire|item=essence of kink}}
{{stat|some}}
----
Occurs at [[Seaside Megalopolis]].

==Notes==
*The [[essence of kink]] drops if you attack with a [[Ruby Rod]] after the monster's sole elemental attack (or corresponding miss message). It will not be listed with the other items obtained.
* The corresponding miss message is "He whips out a spinning, whirring, vibrating, tubular appendage. You stand well back from it."

==References==
*The android's appearance is based on [[Wikipedia:Jude Law|Jude Law]], who played Gigolo Joe in the movie ''[[wikipedia:A.I.: Artificial Intelligence|A.I.: Artificial Intelligence]]''. Any resemblance to Jay Leno is due to the minimalist nature of the art medium. <!---This was put in by Mr. Skullhead. Don't change it.--->
*Isaac Asimov's science fiction uses robots with [[wikipedia:positronic brain|positronic brains]].