View source for Abcrusher 4000™

{{battle|text=This is...some sort of machine for...exercising, I wanna say? It's certainly got some tension bands on it, and some weights dangling, and several different bars and handles to grab. Or maybe that loop-thing you're supposed to put your foot through, then lie on your back on the bench and kick?

Heck, this might actually be an automatic laundry folder, for all you know.
|hit=You grab one of the levers and pull it. It sproings out of your hand, then whangs back into your crotch. {{ouch|2}}

You grab the bar and pull down. It goes down a few feet, then jerks back up, almost disarming you. {{ouch|2}}

You grab a handle and yank on it. A weight swings down and bops you on the head. {{ouch|2}}

You try and do a sit-up on the bench, but whack your head on the pull-down bar. {{ouch|2}}

You grab the ring-loop thing and pull. A medicine ball shoots out of the middle of the machine, right into your solar plexus. {{ouch|2}}

You grab one of the hanging ropes and yank on it. A tension rod bends, then sproings back, whacking you in the butt. {{ouch|2}}
|miss=You pull one of the levers like a born lever-puller.

You grab the bar and try to pull down. It doesn't move, but you manage to pull yourself up.

You pull on one of the handles. There's enough resistance to give you a decent workout.

You do a few sit-ups, stopping before they become throw-ups.

You loop the ring-loop thing around your leg and kick. It's not a bad workout!

You pull on one of the hanging ropes. It's a decent workout.
|critical=You grab two handles and pull them. A stack of weights lifts up over your head and then drops directly on top of you. That thing can't seriously be supposed to work like that, can it?  {{ouch|2}}
|fumble=You manage to get into a position where you're doing sit-ups and pull-ups at the same time, using one of the loop-things and two of the levers. It's a great workout!}}

<center>Your inner wolf's skin thickens with your abs.<br />
[[File:furfur.gif]] '''+3 Wolf Defense'''</center>

{{acquire|item=sweatband|chance=1%}}
{{acquire|item=gym shorts|chance=1%}}
{{acquire|item=ankleweights|chance=1%}}
{{acquire|item=sweat socks|chance=1%}}
{{acquire|item=pint of sweat|chance=10%}}
{{acquire|item=Jerks' Health™ Magazine|chance=5%}}
{{acquire|item=Five Second Energy™|chance=2%}}
{{stat|}}
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Occurs at [[The Inner Wolf Gym]].

==Notes==
*Scales to your stats, capped at 1000, before [[Monster Level]] additions.
*{{uncopyable}}