View source for Dad Sea Monkee

{{battle

|text=You step through the door into a silent room with featureless white walls. In the center there sits a massive machine, the source of the noise. Pipes lead from the machine to ports on the blackened walls, pumping strange liquids into and out of the tank.
In the tank, floating, almost peacefully, is Dad. His eyes are open but vacant. In them you see your reflection, standing in a tiny room. White. Silent. Black. Deafening.

The room is the machine occupies the room contains the machine contains the room describes the machine creates the room is the machine.

You shake your head and look above the tank, at the window into space. <Clue 1> forms <Clue 2> in the darkness, each more <Clue 3> than the last. <Clue 4> <Clue 5>, <Clue 6> revealing <Clue 7>-dimensional monstrosities.

No. Look again. There is nothing. <Is/Are> your <Clue 8> betraying you? As if on cue, <Clue 9>-sided triangles materialize and then disappear. So impossible that your <Clue 10> throbs.

You have to end this.

|hit=

The heat of a dying star scorches your <kidney> {{ouch|3}} {{element|hot}}

The chill of infinity coats your <arm> in frost. {{ouch|cold|3}} {{element|cold}}

A baleful eye stares at you from the depths of space. {{ouch|3}} {{element|spooky}}

You smell the decaying flesh of an ancient carcass, as big as a thousand thousand suns. {{ouch|3}} {{element|stench}}

A distant nebula's shape is painfully suggestive. {{ouch|3}} {{element|sleaze}}

|miss=!
|critical=You blink, and when your eyes open you are on the wrong side of the window. The air is sucked from your lungs. Blood sprays from your eyes and ears. You scream, but, well, you know. {{ouch|3}}
|fumble=!}}

{{acquire|item=Pocket Square of Loathing}}
{{acquire|item=Star Spawn}}
{{acquire|item=Instant Karma}}

<center><u>[[Over. Over Now.|{{FontColor|#000000|The machine begins to shudder and smoke...}}]]</u></center>
==Notes==
*See [[Sea Monkees Quest]] for the steps required to get here.
*Before the fight, all your buffs will be removed and you will receive an effect that basically reduces the turn limit to 12.  (This buff removal INCLUDES removing timers.)
**This does not include effects with a [[Noremove]] flag, such as [[Everything Looks Yellow]].
**You can get buffs from other players or [[buffbot|buffbots]] after your buffs are removed, but before starting the fight. 
*He will do roughly 11% of your HP in damage to you every turn, ignoring elemental resistance.
*Immune to [[stunning]] and staggering:
*:Unfazed, your opponent attacks you anyway!
*On the 12th round of combat with Dad the fight will end early, with the message
*:The hole in the world has waited long enough. You collapse in on yourself and are no more.
*You cannot use combat items; if you try; you get the message:
*:I can't I can't I can't. I can't I can't I can't.
*Immune to all but one elemental (or physical) damage type per round, varying from round to round and from combat to combat. The clues in the 3rd and 4th paragraph of intro text tell you which element will work each round.  This is described [http://forums.kingdomofloathing.com/vb/showpost.php?p=4439411&postcount=369 in a forum post].  Several tools exist to translate the clues for you:
** [http://db.tt/L9v3Q1iI original spreadsheet] (error 404)
** [http://db.tt/eF7MPLbl alternative spreadsheet for old versions of Excel] (error 404)
** [https://docs.google.com/spreadsheet/ccc?key=0AidPVP0Qr49udGZSWGNGQThTVTR2RWtXX1NZcE50T3c#gid=0 a google spreadsheet] (not clear how to use this one -- make a writable copy somehow?)
** [http://alliancefromhell.com/viewtopic.php?f=21&t=5633 a greasemonkey script]
** [http://wooledge.org/dadseamonkee.html a web parser]
** [[Tools#KoLmafia|KoLmafia]] offers this feature as of r12262 (type "dad" in the graphical CLI after starting the fight). If you fight Dad in Mafia's relay browser, it will automatically autopopulate any appropriate Hobopolis spell you have.
*It is highly recommended to have at least both 1,200 MP and knowledge of all of the [[Hobopolis skills|Hobopolis 120 MP spells]]. Knowing [[Volcanometeor Showeruption]] and [[Shrap]] helps increase your chance of winning.
**Please note that for MP, you only have three possible equipment slots outside of the Clothing of Loathing to buff it up (back, accessory, shirt). All buffs you have will be removed before the fight begins.
*He has a hard damage cap of 301 per hit, so bonus spell damage is worthless. At max damage he needs be to hit 14 times to be defeated, which can only be done if you use attacks that hit multiple times per use, such as the Hobopolis 120MP spells, Volcanometeor Showeruption or Shrap.
*Lanterns, such as [[Petrified wood wizard's pouch]], can add extra types of spell damage, ending the fight in fewer rounds.

==References==
* "You scream, but, well, you know."  [[Wikipedia:Alien_(film)|In space, no one can hear you scream.]]

{{Cloathing}}