View source for God Lobster

{{NeedsContent|comment=Are there any missed messages?}}
{{familiar
|famid=266
|name=God Lobster
|hatchling=God Lobster Egg
|H1=Ancient sea horror
|H2=Consents to acts as your pet.
|H3=Don't mention butter.
|ability=Improves stat gains and other more mysterious things
|function=Has the properties of a [[Blood-Faced Volleyball]], gives up to three [[free fights]] per day that results in familiar equipment, buffs, or experience; equipment augments or changes ability.
|throne=N/A - Cannot be placed in Crown of Thrones or Buddy Bjorn
|equipment=Lead necklace 
|equipment2=God Lobster's Scepter
|equipment3=God Lobster's Ring
|equipment4=God Lobster's Rod
|equipment5=God Lobster's Robe
|equipment6=God Lobster's Crown
|hns=
|sh=
|oc=
|ucm=
|hands=0
|wings=0
|animal=1
|clothes=0
|eyes=1
|mechanical=0
|sleaze=0
|undead=0
|hot=0
|biting=0
|quick=0
|flying=0
|evil=1
|bug=0
|underwater=1
}}

*Regular messages:
*: Blocking enemy attacks (with the [[God Lobster's Robe|robe]] equipped):
*:: Nothing says, "don't attack me," like an ancient God Lobster staring down your foe.
*:: Your God Lobster interposes itself between you and your foe. Your foe are too intimidated to do anything.

*After Combat:
*: Giving substats (''without'' the [[God Lobster's Ring|ring]] equipped):
*:: Your God Lobster imparts knowledge directly in to your mind. ('''+X''' Stats)
*:: The God Lobster tweaks the shape of its mouth parts into a creepy smile. ('''+X''' Stats)
*: Increasing Item and Meat drops (with the [[God Lobster's Scepter|scepter]] equipped):
*:: Your God Lobster clacks his claws rhythmically.
*:: God Lobster scuttles around to the music of the spheres.
*:: The God Lobster deigns to dance a bit.
*: Giving substats (with the [[God Lobster's Ring|ring]] equipped):
*:: Your God Lobster translates the power of your enemy into your knowledge. ('''+X''' Stats)
*:: The God Lobster kinda half-smiles while winking and transmitting your experience. ('''+X''' Stats)
*: Restoring HP and MP (with the [[God Lobster's Rod|rod]] equipped):
*:: The God Lobster touches you and your foe each with one tentacle and transfers their failing life energy. {{HP}} {{MP}}
*:: Your God Lobster reaches out his rod and touches you. {{HP}} {{MP}}
*: Increasing item drop (with the [[God Lobster's Crown|crown]] equipped):
*:: Your God Lobster clacks his claws rhythmically while flexing his tail repeatedly.
*:: God Lobster gyrates to the cellestial music of the spehers.
*:: The God Lobster bops back and forth on its tiny lobster legs.

*With [[lucky Tam O'Shanter]] equipped:
*:<name> winks an eye at the end of a creepy stalk.
*With [[miniature gravy-covered maypole]] equipped:
*:<name> begrudginly{{sic}} circles the maypole.
*With [[wax lips]] equipped:<br>
*:<name> flashes the fake wax lips at you. He doesn't seem happy.

==Arena Messages==
None. This familiar has no weaknesses.

== Notes ==
* Can breathe [[underwater adventuring|underwater]].
* May be challenged up to 3 times per day.  Winning [[God Lobster (monster)|the combat]] allows you to [[Granted a Boon|choose from a variety of rewards]]; either equipment, buffs, or a stat increase.
* Rewards for defeating god lobster are based on what familiar equipment is currently equipped.
* Defeating god lobster without any of its regalia gives the God Lobster's Scepter if regalia is requested as a reward. Defeating it while it is wearing any of its regalia gives the next piece if regalia is requested as a reward (e.g. if it is wearing the Scepter the reward will be the God Lobster's Ring).

:{|cellpadding="3" cellspacing="0" border="1px" align="center" style="text-align:center"
|- style="background-color: #EEEEEE"
!Familiar Equipment
!Effect
!Boon (33 adventures)
!Experience (cap)
|-
| (No item)
| (No extra effect)
| [[ Wisdom of the God Lobster]] (Maximum MP +20, Regenerate 40 MP per Adventure)
| +1.5*mainstat to each stat (250)
|-
| {{InlineItem|God Lobster's Scepter}}
| slightly increase Item and Meat Drops (half-weight Fairy / Leprechaun)
| [[Intuition of the God Lobster]] (+10 Stats Per Fight)
| +1.65*mainstat to each stat (275)
|-
| {{InlineItem|God Lobster's Ring}}
| act as sombrero instead of volleyball
| [[Silence of the God Lobster]] (Monsters will be less attracted to you)
| +1.85*mainstat to each stat (312)
|-
| {{InlineItem|God Lobster's Rod}}
| restore HP and MP after Combat
| [[Color of the God Lobster]] (Monsters will be more attracted to you)
| +2.17*mainstat to each stat (362)
|-
| {{InlineItem|God Lobster's Robe}}
| prevent monster attacks
| [[Carapace of the God Lobster]] (Slight Hot Resistance (+1),
Slight Cold Resistance (+1),
Slight Spooky Resistance (+1),
Slight Stench Resistance (+1),
Slight Sleaze Resistance (+1),
Damage Absorption +20,
Damage Reduction: 3)
| +2.62*mainstat to each stat (438)
|-
| {{InlineItem|God Lobster's Crown}}
| increase Item Drops (full-weight Fairy)
| [[Taste of the God Lobster]] (Increases Stats from Food)
| +3.0*mainstat to each stat (500), {{InlineItem|Dish of Clarified Butter}}
|}

==References==
* This familiar is likely a reference to the 1980 book ''[[Wikipedia:A Thousand Plateaus|A Thousand Plateaus: Capitalism and Schizophrena]]'' by [[Wikipedia:Gilles Deleuze|Gilles Deleuze]] and [[Wikipedia:Félix Guattari|Félix Guattari]], which declares "[http://www.kareneliot.de/downloads/Deleuze%20Guattari%20A%20Thousand%20Plateaus.pdf God is a Lobster]" in the chapter entitled "10,000 B.C.: The Geology of Morals (Who Does the Earth Think It Is?)"
* It may also reference [https://www.allmusic.com/artist/dj-soul-slinger-mn0000663622/biography DJ Soul Slinger]'s 1998 song "[https://www.discogs.com/composition/d3db498b-1391-47a9-8cd8-fedcd734cabc-God-Is-A-Lobster God is a Lobster]," which heavily samples the 1978 single "[[Wikipedia:Rock Lobster|Rock Lobster]]" by [[Wikipedia:The B-52's|The B-52s]].
* It is almost certainly a reference to [http://forums.kingdomofloathing.com/vb/showthread.php?t=235796 this forum thread], which was speculating on March's Item of the Month.
* The true, actual origin of this familiar is this [http://imgur.com/CUChZI0 procedurally-generated wiki page].

[[Category:Water-breathing Familiars]]