View source for I Am Serious, and Don't Call Me Carol

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The death ray self-destructs, incinerating a Crimbo Tree, turning several stockings to ash, and blackening the chestnuts that were roasting on an open fire. Seriously, the ship barely looks like a ship anymore; I mean, it's still a dank, musty hive, but now it's a dank, musty hive that's practically dripping with Crimbo cheer. You can even hear faint strains of Crimbo music wafting from the overhead speakers.

Before you can head deeper into the ship, someone starts pounding on the door you were about to go out. You flip the switch to open the door, and see a group of cyborgs wearing black rubber Crimbo hats, with carol books grafted to their arms. They clear their throats, then sing in four-part harmony:

''Don't rest ye, bold adventurer''<br />
''Go out and join the fray!''<br />
''Remember, if they step to you, you have to make them pay!''<br />
''And you know you'll grow stronger yet''<br />
''With every foe you slay''<br />
''So tirades bring comfort and joy''<br />
''Comfort and joy''<br />
''So tirades bring comfort and joy''

As they finish their song, one of the cyborgs takes its helmet off and holds it out for a donation. You grab the helmet and high-tail it out of the ship.

{{acquire|item=kevlateflocite helmet}}

As you exit, the entrance hatch seals shut behind you and the entire ship powers down. Looks like it's going into power-save mode for the night.

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Occurred in [[A Sinister Dodecahedron]].

==References==
*The title is a reference to the old joke "Surely, you can't be serious! / I am serious, and don't call me Shirley!", which was popularized by [[Wikipedia:Leslie Nielsen|Leslie Nielsen]] in ''[[Wikipedia:Airplane!|Airplane!]]''
*The song that the Borg sing near the end of the adventure ("[[Don't Rest Ye, Bold Adventurer]]") is a parody of the Christmas carol, "[[Wikipedia:God Rest Ye Merry, Gentlemen|God Rest Ye Merry, Gentlemen]]."