View source for Jackson, the 106-year-old Dyspepsi-Cola Veteran

{{halloweentop|image=cola2costume.gif|name=Jackson, the 106-year-old Dyspepsi-Cola Veteran}}

Well, now! Back for more, eh? Well, sonny, I beat you eighty-five years ago and I'll beat you again. Just you wait while I fetch my sword. Did you know, in the war, we couldn't even get toffee? Yup, toffee was rationed. There were days when I would have gladly killed a man for a piece of toffee. Couldn't get no limes, either. Dyspepsi's Navy needed 'em. Wards off scurvy, y'know. I remember the posters they used to have: "If You're Eating Toffee, You're Aiding Cloaca-Cola!", "The Road to Hell is Paved with Limes and Toffee!"

Wait, what was I talking about, whippersnapper? Oh, yeah. I was about to kill you, wasn't I? Take this! Dangit, I forgot to pull the pin. Anyway, back in my days in the Dyspepsi-Cola Infantry, we... zzzzzz...

{{acquire|item=Dyspepsi grenade}}
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Occurs while [[Halloween|Trick or Treating]] in the [[Cloaca-Cola Uniform]].

==References==
*The old soldier's name most likely refers to [[Wikipedia:Michael Jackson|Michael Jackson]], who was a spokesperson for Pepsi in the 1980s.
*Dyspepsi-Cola is a reference to [[wikipedia:Pepsi-Cola|Pepsi Cola]].