View source for Me and My Nemesis

''For the '''NS11''' version of this quest, please see [[Slay Your Nemesis Quest]].''
{{Bug|After retrieving the Epic Hat, you must talk to the guild class NPC ''twice'' to enable the menacing thug encounter.}}


==Description==
Once you have accumulated 12 mainstat, the first part of this quest becomes available from one of the two quest-givers in your [[Guild Hall]]. 

==Tasks==
===The Legendary Epic Weapon Quest===
*The first part of this quest becomes available when your mainstat is 12 and overlaps the '''[[Legendary Epic Weapon Quest]]'''. See the main article for details on how to craft your Legendary Epic Weapon.

===The Dark and Dank and Sinister Cave===
*The second part of this quest becomes available when your mainstat is 23. You must face your Nemesis in [[The Dark and Dank and Sinister Cave]].
*At the [[The Dark and Dank and Sinister Cave Entrance|cave entrance]], select the correct class skill to open the door:
:*'''Seal Clubber''' &ndash; Freak the hell out like a wrathful wolverine. ([[Wrath of the Wolverine]])
:*'''Turtle Tamer''' &ndash; Sympathize with an amphibian. ([[Amphibian Sympathy]])
:*'''Pastamancer''' &ndash; Entangle the wall with noodles. ([[Entangling Noodles]])
:*'''Sauceror''' &ndash; Shoot a stream of sauce at the wall. ([[Stream of Sauce]])
:*'''Disco Bandit''' &ndash; Focus on your disco state of mind. ([[Disco State of Mind (skill)|Disco State of Mind]])
:*'''Accordion Thief''' &ndash; Bash the wall with your accordion. ([[Accordion Bash]])
*Clear the impassable rubble by obtaining 6 {{plural|fizzing spore pod}} which are dropped by [[angry mushroom guy]]s in [[The Fungal Nethers]].
*Enter [[Inner Sanctum|The Final (?) Showdown]] to fight your Nemesis and obtain your class's [[Epic Hats|Epic Hat]].
*Talk with the quest giver again twice to advance the quest.

===The Secret Tropical Island Volcano Lair===
*Some time after you defeat your Nemesis in the cave, you will be attacked by a series of four thugs sent after you by your Nemesis.
:*These monsters are [[wandering monsters]] and obey all the encounter rules on that page.
:*The first thug can be encountered almost immediately (5 to 15 turns?), if the player meets the mainstat requirement. The interval between each subsequent assassin is believed to be 35&ndash;50 turns. 
:*You will continue to be attacked by the same type of assassin unless your unbuffed mainstat is high enough to trigger the next, stronger assassin type. This continues until you defeat the fourth and final assassin. You may encounter the assassins even if you are [[Drunken Stupor|falling down drunk]] or have a [[ten-leaf clover|clover]] in your inventory.
{| border="1" cellspacing="0" cellpadding="4" style="border-collapse: collapse; margin-left: 1.5em;"
|-  style="background-color: #EFEFEF"
!Class
!First assassin<br/>Appears at 45+ mainstat
!Second assassin<br/>Appears at 60+ mainstat
!Third assassin<br/>Appears at 75+ mainstat
!Fourth assassin<br/>Appears at 90+ mainstat
|-
| '''[[Seal Clubber]]'''
| rowspan="6" | [[menacing thug]]
| rowspan="6" | [[Mob Penguin hitman]]
| [[hunting seal]]
| [[Argarggagarg the Dire Hellseal]]
|-
| '''[[Turtle Tamer]]'''
| [[turtle trapper]]
| [[Safari Jack, Small-Game Hunter]]
|-
| '''[[Pastamancer]]'''
| [[evil spaghetti cult assassin]]
| [[Yakisoba the Executioner]]
|-
| '''[[Sauceror]]'''
| [[béarnaise zombie]]
| [[Heimandatz, Nacho Golem]]
|-
| '''[[Disco Bandit]]'''
| [[flock of seagulls]]
| [[Jocko Homo]]
|-
| '''[[Accordion Thief]]'''
| [[mariachi bandolero]]
| [[The Mariachi With No Name]]
|}

*The final assassin will drop a [[secret tropical island volcano lair map]]. Use it to access the [[Secret Tropical Island Volcano Lair]].
*Speak to the NPC on the island. Each class is given a different task to unlock the volcano lair:
:*'''Seal Clubber''' &ndash; Damage [[hellseal pup]]s in combat to make them screech and attract [[mother hellseal]]s.  If you kill all the pups in one hit, the mother hellseals will never appear, but you want to not let too many baby seals screech or the mothers will become too tough to beat.  Equip a club and kill [[mother hellseal]]s using only weapon-based attacks to get 6 [[hellseal brain]]s, 6 [[hellseal hide]]s and 6 [[hellseal sinew]]s.  Do '''NOT''' use an attack familiar while fighting [[mother hellseal]]s, or the bits you need will be ruined. (The [[Adorable Seal Larva]] you just received will not attack hellseals.)
:*'''Turtle Tamer''' &ndash; With the [[fouet de tortue-dressage]] equipped, use the skill [[Apprivoisez la tortue]] on six [[guard turtle]]s with hats in the Outer Compound. It is necessary to use the skill five times on each of them (four with [[Eau de Tortue]]). Then make sure to go back to "A Guy in the Bushes".
:*'''Pastamancer''' &ndash; Obtain 5 {{plural|cult memo}}, decode them, use the [[decoded cult documents]], and summon a [[Spaghetti Elemental (Pasta Thrall)|Spaghetti Elemental]] (Note: You can skip getting the cult memos if you permed [[Bind Spaghetti Elemental]].). Then get it to level 3 (Note: You can skip it using an [[experimental carbon fiber pasta additive]]) and defeat a cult member to obtain a [[spaghetti cult robe]]. Equip it to enter the lair. 
:*'''Sauceror''' &ndash; Gather vials of colored slime from the slimes in the [[The Convention Hall Lobby]] by using the [[bottle of Gü-Gone]] to kill them. Cooking two different vials together will give you a secondary color [[Slime Potions|slime potion]]. Cooking one of those with one of its component primary color potions will give you a tertiary color potion. (For example, cook a [[vial of red slime]] and a [[vial of yellow slime]] to get a [[vial of orange slime]], then cook that with another [[vial of yellow slime]] to get a [[vial of amber slime]]). There are six tertiary color potions, and a random one of those will give you the effect [[Slimeform]]. (If you want a [[slime convention swag bag]], make sure you get it from the lobby before proceeding.)
:*'''Disco Bandit''' &ndash; Use [[Gothy Handwave]] to gather dance moves from the queueing ravers. Look for specific combat messages, like you would with the gremlins. When you have all three moves, find a [[Rave combos|combination of moves]] that will dislodge an item. Once you've gathered and equipped enough items to have at least seven "[[A_Dance_Club#Notes|Raveosity]]", you will be able to enter the lair.
:*'''Accordion Thief''' &ndash; Five {{plural|hacienda key}} must be found to open the Volcano Lair. Four of the keys can be obtained through exploring [[The Island Barracks]], but one key must be acquired by pickpocketing mariachis. The locations of the keys in [[The Island Barracks]] are randomized per player/per ascension. There are other, randomized locations that give hints as to where the keys are.
*Next, defeat 3&ndash;6 bodyguards in the [[The Nemesis' Lair|Volcano Lair]]. Afterward, you will encounter your Nemesis for the second time.
*Equip your [[Legendary Epic Weapon]] in your main hand, then navigate the maze in [[A Volcanic Cave]].

:*Despite the seemingly confusing nature of the maze, there are in fact only 6 possible platform sets, each of which has 5 configurations. There is no overlap between the configurations within each set, with the exception of the goal. The configurations cycle around, with 1 leading to 2, 2 to 3, 3 to 4, 4 to 5, and 5 back to 1. [https://web.archive.org/web/20210130194709/www.ben.bloomroad.com/kol/nemesis/volcano/index.html Maps] of all 6 sets, their configurations, and solution paths exist for the adventurer who cannot figure them out or wishes to complete them without going through the puzzle-solving process. There is also a [http://www.mobius-bandits.org/~jik/scripts/instant_maze.user.js Greasemonkey script] that automatically walks the path for you.

:*Alternatively, you can choose to skip the maze at a cost of 10 adventures, but you will miss out on some rewards.
*Defeat the penultimate and ultimate forms of your Nemesis (if you lose the battle against your Nemesis' final form, you do not need to fight him/her/it in [[A Volcanic Cave]] again):
:*'''Seal Clubber''' &ndash; [[Gorgolok, the Infernal Seal (Volcanic Cave)|Gorgolok, the Infernal Seal]] and [[Gorgolok, the Demonic Hellseal]]
:*'''Turtle Tamer''' &ndash; [[Stella, the Turtle Poacher (Volcanic Cave)|Stella, the Turtle Poacher]] and [[Stella, the Demonic Turtle Poacher]]
:*'''Pastamancer''' &ndash; [[Spaghetti Elemental (Volcanic Cave)|Spaghetti Elemental]] and [[Spaghetti Demon]]
:*'''Sauceror''' &ndash; [[Lumpy, the Sinister Sauceblob (Volcanic Cave)|Lumpy, the Sinister Sauceblob]] and [[Lumpy, the Demonic Sauceblob]]
:*'''Disco Bandit''' &ndash; [[Spirit of New Wave (Volcanic Cave)|The Spirit of New Wave]] and the [[Demon of New Wave]]
:*'''Accordion Thief''' &ndash; [[Somerset Lopez, Dread Mariachi (Volcanic Cave)|Somerset Lopez, Dread Mariachi]] and [[Somerset Lopez, Demon Mariachi]]

==Rewards==
{| cellpadding="3" cellspacing="0" border="1" style="text-align:center; vertical-align:middle"
|- style="background-color: #EEEEEE"
|
|'''[[Legendary Epic Weapon]]'''
|'''[[Epic Hats|Epic Hat]]'''
|'''4000-Meat Autosell Item'''
|'''[[Nemesis Familiars|Familiar Hatchling]]'''
|'''[[Epic Pants]]'''
|'''[[Ultimate Legendary Epic Weapon]]'''
|'''[[Epic Accessories|Epic Accessory]]'''
|-
|[[File:Class1.gif|link=Seal Clubber]]
|{{StackItem|Hammer of Smiting}}
|{{StackItem|Scalp of Gorgolok}}
|{{StackItem|Argarggagarg's fang}}
|{{StackItem|adorable seal larva}}
|{{StackItem|Krakrox's Loincloth}}
|{{StackItem|Sledgehammer of the Vælkyr}}
|{{StackItem|Claw of the Infernal Seal}}
|-
|[[File:Class2.gif|link=Turtle Tamer]]
|{{StackItem|Chelonian Morningstar}}
|{{StackItem|Elder Turtle Shell}}
|{{StackItem|Safari Jack's moustache}}
|{{StackItem|untamable turtle}}
|{{StackItem|Galapagosian Cuisses}}
|{{StackItem|Flail of the Seven Aspects}}
|{{StackItem|Garter of the Turtle Poacher}}
|-
|[[File:Class3.gif|link=Pastamancer]]
|{{StackItem|Greek Pasta Spoon of Peril}}
|{{StackItem|Colander of Em-er'il}}
|{{StackItem|Yakisoba's hat}}
|{{StackItem|macaroni duck}}
|{{StackItem|Angelhair Culottes}}
|{{StackItem|Wrath of the Capsaician Pastalords}}
|{{StackItem|Bandolier of the Spaghetti Elemental}}
|-
|[[File:Class4.gif|link=Sauceror]]
|{{StackItem|17-alarm Saucepan}}
|{{StackItem|Ancient Saucehelm}}
|{{StackItem|Heimandatz's heart}}
|{{StackItem|friendly cheez blob}}
|{{StackItem|Newman's Own Trousers}}
|{{StackItem|Windsor Pan of the Source}}
|{{StackItem|Gravyskin Belt of the Sauceblob}}
|-
|[[File:Class5.gif|link=Disco Bandit]]
|{{StackItem|Shagadelic Disco Banjo}}
|{{StackItem|Disco 'Fro Pick}}
|{{StackItem|Jocko Homo's head}}
|{{StackItem|unusual disco ball}}
|{{StackItem|Volartta's bellbottoms}}
|{{StackItem|Seeger's Unstoppable Banjo}}
|{{StackItem|Bling of the New Wave}}
|-
|[[File:Class6.gif|link=Accordion Thief]]
|{{StackItem|Squeezebox of the Ages}}
|{{StackItem|El Sombrero De Lopez}}
|{{StackItem|The Mariachi's guitar case}}
|{{StackItem|stray chihuahua}}
|{{StackItem|Lederhosen of the Night}}
|{{StackItem|The Trickster's Trikitixa}}
|{{StackItem|La Hebilla del Cinturón de Lopez}}
|}

*If you did not skip the [[A Volcanic Cave|lava maze]], you will also be awarded with the [[heart of the volcano]] and an [[Instant Karma]].
*Your guild awards you 6000 meat for slaying your Nemesis.
*In addition, when revisiting the lair, each class will gain an extra reward:
**'''SC''': Allows you to continue to fight in [[The Broodling Grounds]]. You can use the pieces acquired to craft with Phineas at [[A Palm Tree Shelter]].
**'''TT''': Allows you to continue to fight [[guard turtle]]s. Using the [[Apprivoisez la tortue]] skill on the turtles allows you to receive the [[Cold-Blooded Warm Fuzzies]] buff.
**'''P''': Searching the temple gives you a [[black hymnal]], which grants you the skill [[Canticle of Carboloading]] when used.
**'''S''': Allows you to pull a random, basic vial of slime at [[A Boat]] for one adventure each. Limited to 10 pulls per day.
**'''DB''': You will be allowed to use the three new rave skills outside of the Volcano Lair.
**'''AT''': Gain access to [[Puttin' on the Wax]], allowing you to record songs. The [[Fishing Village]] provides one [[fisherman's sack]] daily.
*Note that only Seal Clubbers and Turtle Tamers can fight their island's monsters after defeating the Nemesis.
*There are also 7 [[Trophy|trophies]] which can be earned after completing this quest: one for each class, and [[The Wrong Place at the Right Time]] for completing the quest for all six classes, in a specific order.
**'''SC''': [[Every Part of the Seal]]
**'''TT''': [[A Little Help From My Friends]]
**'''P''': [[Spaghettihose]]
**'''S''': [[Color Wheel of Yuck]]
**'''DB''': [[Dancing With the Stars]]
**'''AT''': [[Septuple Platinum]]

==Text==
===[[Seal Clubber]] and [[Turtle Tamer]]===
*''After encountering menacing thug:''

"<Name>! Thank goodness you're here -- some pretty shady characters have been asking about you."

"Yeah, I had a run-in with some of them," you mutter darkly. "It looks like there's a price on my head."

"Your Nemesis' work, I'll wager. I wish I could tell you we'd tracked down his/her location, but he/she's proving to be devilishly sneaky. You'd better watch your back."

"Yeah, thanks."

*''After defeating all the thugs:''

"It's good to see you in one piece, <name>. I hope your Nemesis' thugs aren't giving you too much trouble?"

"No," you reply, "I think I've seen the last of them, thankfully. Have a look at this -- I got it off of their leader." You hand over the secret tropical island volcano lair map.

"Ah, so it was a secret tropical island volcano lair after all, eh? Hmm, the markings on this map indicate treacherous waters; you're going to need a sturdy ship and an experienced crew to get there."

"Right. I was hoping you could lend me one?"

"I'm afraid not. We have a small ship that we use to run errands and so forth, but it isn't robust enough to make this trip. You will need to seek out transportation elsewhere."

"That figures." 

*''After defeating your Nemesis for the first time and finding your Epic Pants:''

"Hello again, <name>. Nice pants." 

"Thanks. I suppose you're going to tell me that's not the artifact you're looking for?" 

"Sorry, but no." 

"Fine," you sigh. "I'll be back later." 

"Good luck! Remember, time is of the..." 

"Essence, yeah yeah. I got it."

*''After defeating your Nemesis:''

"<Name>! Welcome back! I have excellent news for you!"

"I've got some pretty good news myself," you say, just a little smugly. "I've defeated my Nemesis once and for all!"

"Really? That's fantastic!"

"Yeah... Um, I really didn't see anything that looked like an artifact that's vitally important for the future of the world or anything, though..."

"Oh, yes, well, about that... that's what I wanted to tell you, actually. See, we found it."

"... You found it?"

"Yeah, it turned out not to be missing after all. See, Larry over there ("Hi," says Larry, waving), he sent it out to be cleaned, and forgot to tell anyone."

"..."

"Sorry about that. Larry's new. But anyway, we've got it back now. And hey, you beat your Nemesis, that's really terrific! It'll be nice not having to worry about he/she{{sic}} any more."

"...Yeah."

"I should give you something for your trouble, though. Here's some meat. Go take a nice vacation or something, you've earned it!"

"Thanks," you mutter dryly.

{{meat|amount=6000}}

===[[Pastamancer]] and [[Sauceror]]===
*''After encountering menacing thug:''

"Ah, <Name>, it is good to see you safe. There have been some notably disreputable-looking people inquiring about you."

"Yeah, I had a run-in with some of them," you mutter darkly. "It looks like there's a price on my head."

"Undoubtedly an attempt at revenge by your Nemesis. Unfortunately, he has somehow managed to defeat all attempts to locate him via magical means. We will continue our attempts, but in the meantime, please use the utmost caution."

"Yeah, thanks." 

*''After defeating all the thugs:''

"Ah, <name>, you've returned. And relatively unscathed, I am pleased to note. Are your Nemesis' assassins proving to be an ordeal?"

"No," you reply, "I think I've seen the last of them, thankfully. Have a look at this -- I got it off of their leader." You hand over the secret tropical island volcano lair map.

"It appears my earlier musings were justified -- it was a secret tropical volcano island after all. Interesting. ...It appears that you will need a ship to reach it, and a strong one at that, judging by the indicators on this map."

"Right. I was hoping you could lend me one?"

"Unfortunately, such a ship is not among our available resources, and none of our transportation specialists will have the requisite knowledge of your destination needed for a spell of teleportation. You will need to locate a ship through other channels."

"That figures."

*''After defeating your Nemesis for the first time and finding your Epic Pants:''

"Greetings to you, <name>. Nice pants."

"Thanks. I suppose you're going to tell me that's not the artifact you're looking for?"

"No, unfortunately not."

"Fine," you sigh. "I'll be back later."

"Good luck! Remember, time is of the..."

"Essence, yeah yeah. I got it."

*''After defeating your Nemesis:''

"Ah, <name>! You have arrived at a fortuitous time! I have excellent news for you!"

"I've got some pretty good news myself," you say, just a little smugly. "I've defeated my Nemesis once and for all!"

"Have you? Marvellous!"

"Yeah... Um, I really didn't see anything that looked like an artifact that's vitally important for the future of the world or anything, though..."

"Ah, yes, the artifact. In fact, that is just what I wished to speak with you about. As it happens, we've located it."

"... You located it?"

"Indeed. It was discovered not to be missing after all. You see, Larry over there ("Hi," says Larry, waving) sent it out to be cleaned, and neglected to inform the rest of us."

"..."

"Dreadfully sorry about that. Larry's new. But anyway, it's been returned. And it would be remiss of me to allow that to overshadow your accomplishments in defeating your Nemesis! It will indeed nice to not have to worry about he{{sic}} any more."

"...Yeah."

"Allow me to compensate you for your trouble with some meat. I daresay you've earned yourself a good vacation, after all this!"

"Thanks," you mutter dryly.

{{meat|amount=6000}}

===[[Disco Bandit]] and [[Accordion Thief]]===
*''After encountering menacing thug:''

"<Name>, buddy, good to see you've still got your head attached. There's some pretty sketchy people looking for you, and believe me, I know from sketchy."

"Yeah, I had a run-in with some of them," you mutter darkly. "It looks like there's a price on my head."

"Yep, that's what we're hearing. No dice on trying to find his hideout yet, either. You might wanna lie low till the heat's off. 'Course, that could be a pretty long time."

"Yeah, thanks."

*''After defeating all the thugs:''

"Hey, it's my buddy <name>! I thought your goose was cooked what with thugs and hitmen and like that."

"No," you reply, "I think I've seen the last of them, thankfully. Have a look at this -- I got it off of their leader." You hand over the secret tropical island volcano lair map.

"Hah, so it was a secret tropical volcano island after all, eh? I totally called it. From this map, though, it looks like you're gonna need some hardcore sailing gear to get there. A major ship, and guys to run it."

"Right. I was hoping you could lend me one?"

"Sorry man. We've got a few fast little boats for, you know, totally legit deliveries, right? But nothing that can handle that section of the sea. Look at these little squiggles, they look super dangerous. You'll have to scam a ride off someone else."

"That figures."

*''After defeating your Nemesis for the first time and finding your Epic Pants:''

"Hey, <name>, good to see ya. Nice pants."

"Thanks. I suppose you're going to tell me that's not the artifact you're looking for?"

"Yeah, no. Not at all."

"Fine," you sigh. "I'll be back later."

"Okay, see ya around. Remember, time is of the..."

"Essence, yeah yeah. I got it."

*''After defeating your Nemesis:''

"Hey, <name>, buddy! Great to see ya, babe! Wait'll you hear the news, it'll blow your mind!"

"I've got some pretty good news myself," you say, just a little smugly. "I've defeated my Nemesis once and for all!"

"For real? Hey, that kicks ass!"

"Yeah... Um, I really didn't see anything that looked like an artifact that's vitally important for the future of the world or anything, though..."

"Oh, right, yeah, well see... that's the big news I was talking about before. See, the deal is... we found it."

"... You found it?"

"Yeah, I know, right? Turned out it wasn't really missing at all. See, Larry over there ("Hi," says Larry, waving), he sent it out to get cleaned, and he kinda spaced on actually giving anyone else the low-down."

"..."

"Yeah, sorry. Larry's new. But hey, we've got it back now, and anyways, you beat your Nemesis, right? That's aces, buddy! Lemme tell ya, I was getting pretty sick of worrying about that guy wandering around loose."

"...Yeah."

"Don't let it be said we don't take care of our own, though. Lemme give you some meat, and you can take a vacation or something. Get a little R & R, a little downtime, that'll be just the ticket!"

"Thanks," you mutter dryly.

{{meat|amount=6000}}

==History==
* This quest replaced the old NS11 [[Slay Your Nemesis Quest]] on February 16, 2010.  The in-game update said, "Seven new trophies, no ten, are now available. (I mean, seventeen. Three? Seventy.)"
* On August 18, 2015, the Dark and Dank and Sinister Cave portion of this quest was again revamped. See [[A Dark and Dank and Sinister Quest]] for the former version.

[[Category:Quests]]