View source for No Rest for the Room

{{adventuretop|name=No Rest for the Room|image=merkindoor2.gif|num=400}}
As you swim down the hall, you see a Mer-kin teacher swimming toward you. She's carrying a megaphone and shouting inspirational slogans like, "you're like a blind man in a dark room looking for a black cat that isn't there!" You can tell that she's going to make you take charge of your life and fulfill your potential, even if she has to beat you into a pulp to do it.

You look around frantically and see you're outside the bathroom in which you got swirlied earlier. It'd probably be a decent place to hide, if you want to spend your life hiding. So what's it going to be?

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{{button|Stand and deliver}}
You stand your ground as the teacher comes nearer. "You don't know me!" you shout. "Why are you talking to me like you know me? You don't know what I'm going through!"
"No," she growls, "but I know what I'm about to put you through. You've got a dangerous mind, and I aim to make it a little safer."
{{Combat|name=Mer-kin teacher|noline=y|drops=Mer-kin lipstick |meat=|stat=|element=|image=merkinteacher.gif|level=|hp=}}
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{{button|Lean on the Door to the Bathroom}}
You duck into the bathroom, but you can barely see where you're going because the water is infused with some kind of a gross grey cloud. It's almost like this underwater civilization has figured out how to light something on fire and inhale the smoke, despite the obvious obstacles to that discovery.

You squint and swim into the toilet stall, where you find a Mer-kin kid sucking on a little tube. The end is lit with a tiny dollop of underwater-burning phosphorous. He takes a deep drag on the tube and blows out more of that noxious grey cloud.

"Wow," you say, that looks really, really unpleasant. What is it, and why are you sucking on it?"

"Oh, this is a Mer-kin cancerstick," he says. "It's full of crab meat, and the phosphorous on the end smolders. All the cool kids puff on them. They let you pull smoke into your lungs, and blow it back out."

"Is that all they do?" you ask.

"Nah," the mer-kid says, "they make you look cool, and they totally take away your craving for a Mer-kin cancerstick, at least for an hour or so. Oh, and they slowly kill you, too, so there's that."

"I better keep one around, then, just in case I get a craving for one and I need that craving to go away," you say. You bum a cancerstick off of the kid and swim away.
{{acquire|item=Mer-kin cancerstick}}

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Occurs at [[Mer-kin Elementary School]]

==References==
* This adventure is a reference to the movie [[Wikipedia:Stand and Deliver|Stand and Deliver]]