View source for Races of the Kingdom

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This section will list all [[Monster Types|species]] and subdivisions of those species encountered in the game, as well as their respective cultures and the real or fictional beings that inspired them. Note that combat-able monsters are not the only races listed here – there are also [[:Category:Familiars|familiars]] and creatures that are referenced to but not fought.

While the [[Monster Manuel]] goes into more detail on each specific monster, here you can find some general information, background information, and their history.

==Beasts==
===Bats/Rats/Cats===
<center>[[File:regbat.gif]][[File:rat.gif]][[File:blackcat2.gif]]</center>

The Bats, Rats, and Cats of the kingdom hide in various corners of the world, waiting to strike out at adventures. Some inbred variants of the awful monstrosities have become the fearsome [[Batrat]]s and [[Ratbat]]s. Their leader is unknown, but rats may be led by the nefarious [[Baron von Ratsworth]], while bats may be led by the [[Boss Bat]]. There is no clear leader for the cats, although the [[white lion]], the [[black panther]], the [[Iiti Kitty]], and the [[Black Cat]] will all pose problems for adventurers. Thankfully, the [[The Cat's in the Castle and the Silver Spoon|giant's pet cat]] and the [[Cheetahs Never Lose|cheetah that once stalked Whitey's Grove]] have settled into retirement.

===Bugbears===
<center>[[File:bugbear2.gif]]</center>

The bugbears of [[Degrassi Knoll]] serve as guardians and pets to the Gnolls. They also run a [[The Bugbear Bakery|bakery]] in [[The Distant Woods]]. While most have a distinct hatred of humans and will viciously attack any they come across, they are not very smart and are easily fooled by [[Bugbear Costume|disguises]]. They are most likely inspired by the Bugbears in [[Wikipedia:Dungeons & Dragons|Dungeons & Dragons]].  The bugbears found in the kingdom are descended from a race of [[Bugbear Invasion|alien invaders]] that have gone native and lost most of their intelligence.

Especially noteworthy bugbears in the kingdom include the wild bugbears of the [[Dreadsylvanian Woods]] and their leader from beyond the stars, [[Falls-From-Sky]].

===Dinosaurs===
<center>[[File:Dino spike.gif]][[File:Dino chicken.gif]][[File:Dino diplo.gif]]</center>

It is common knowledge that [[Fall of the Dinosaurs#Dinosaurs|dinosaurs]] used to roam the lands long ago. The dinosaurs in Loathing's mysterious past are more ferocious and dangerous than the modern monsters in the Kingdom of Loathing. They were known to eat anything they could catch and drop whatever the monster they ate would have dropped. You may ask, "How could you make such a claim if they don't exist anymore?" Simple: Some genius in a [[Fall of the Dinosaurs|particular ascension path]] decided to make their own knock-off version of Jurrasic Park, which went horribly wrong almost immediately. On the bright side, now you can fight dinosaurs!

Quick fact about these dinosaurs's strength: it depends on the monster they ate and the type of dinosaur that ate it. Also, note that only [[Fall of the Dinosaurs#Bosses|unique dinosaurs]] can eat certain bosses but should have the boss's normal strength.

===Goats===
<center>[[File:biggoat.gif]]</center>

These creatures live in [[the Goatlet]], where the ferocious [[sabre-toothed goat]]s defend the lesser goats from intruders. In return, the lesser goats defend the sabre-tooths from extruders. And you can't talk about the goats without mentioning their [[glass of goat's milk|milk]] and [[goat cheese|cheese]]. If you can find one as a [[goat|baby]], you can raise one as a [[Angry Goat|pet]].

===Knottish Wildlife===
<center>[[File:yeti.gif]][[File:Slanding.gif]]</center>

There are two races known to live in the land of Knott: [[Knott Yeti|Yetis]], and [[Knott Slanding|Slandings]]. Slandings are clearly the more powerful of the two, but are [[Ultra Rares|incredibly elusive]]. The yetis are much more common, and the species is known for going through rough times in history. When yetis used to be the dominant species of [[The Icy Peak]], they were constantly hunted down for their meat by adventurers, which caused the hippies to protest against yeti violence, causing their numbers to dwindle from starvation. Fortunately, their numbers rose to stable levels after the establishment of a [[The Knott Yeti Habitat|habitat]], but years later they were used to create a breed of [[Groar|monstrous flying yetis]] by a [[Rene C. Corman|necromancer]] in a plot to take over [[Beyond the Pale|Valhalla]].

===Turtles===
<center>[[File:Guardturtle.gif]]</center>
These timid yet armoured creatures abound in the Kingdom and its environs. In fact, a special class has dedicated itself to caring for, feeding, protecting, and hiding behind them: the [[Turtle Tamer]]s. With rare exception, though, they're incredibly shy, but a Turtle Tamer is experienced in the way of [[Turtle Taming|taming]] these creatures. There are also several ancient [[Turtle Blessings|turtle spirits]] that reside in [[The Spirit World]].

===Warbears===
<center>[[File:warbear13.gif]]</center>

Warbears were first made known to the kingdom during their 2013 [[The WarBear Fortress|occupation of Crimbo Town]]. Their ranks include [[Warbear Foot Soldier|foot soldiers]], [[Warbear Officer|officers]], [[High-Ranking Warbear Officer|high-ranking officers]], and a [[Warbear General|general]] with a ridiculously long name. They were repelled when [[Uncle Crimbo]] finished his combustion engine to warm up Crimbo Town.

==Bugs==
<center>[[File:pede.gif]][[File:Filthworm2.gif]][[File:Path bhy.gif]]</center>

As with any other fantasy game, giant insects are common foes. Prowling through the corners of the world, through the shadows they go, making their homes in diverse places. The [[mayonnaise wasp]], [[dodecapede]], [[Bowling Cricket]], [[big creepy spider]], and [[completely different spider]] are all such creatures. Also in this group are most monsters in [[the Arid, Extra-Dry Desert]] and the powerful [[Swarm of scarab beatles|Swarms of Beatles]] and the disgusting [[The Organic Orchard|filthworms]]. And, of course, there are those annoying bees!

===Bees===
<center>[[File:Beebeegunner.gif]][[File:Moneybee.gif]][[File:Mumblebee.gif]]</center>

My God. The most raged-filled bugs that target [[Bees Hate You|certian adventurers]]. If you are on their hate list, expect to encounter them every friggin' 15-20 adventures. The source of their hate is known in the form of an old [[Yuletide]] [[The Tale of the Mysterious Beekeeper|story]]. Long story short, a rage-bent beekeeper was killed after murdering those who wronged him and their families with bees. His beehives were also burnt, but that was the fatal mistake, as an angry swarm of bees nearly destroyed all of the attackers and took the form of their former beekeeper. Anyways, enough lore. The more powerful bees drop more [[handful of honey]], which is useful in batches. One has to be prepared for painful stinging if one wishes to survivie.

===Filthworms===
<center>[[File:Filthworm2.gif]][[File:Filthworm1.gif]][[File:Filthworm3.gif]]</center>

Filthworms are known to only reside in [[The Organic Orchard]], primarily due to the hippie owning the stand not using any pesticide. They seemed to have established a hierarchy, as each chamber has a designated class, with classes one rank below and higher are allowed to enter. The only way they can tell what class one belongs to is via scent. They also seem dependent on their [[Queen filthworm|queen]], as without her, they flee their chambers and are no longer a threat. If you ever deal with them, be sure to hold your breath, 'cause they reek!

==Constellations==
<center>[[File:astronomer.gif]]</center>

The living constellations of the Kingdom dwell in [[the Hole in the Sky]], twinkling merrily in a manner completely devoid of any strange innuendo whatsoever. Reports are often conflicting as to what kinds of constellations are actually encountered in the Hole in the Sky, which most people put down to [[Ascension|metaphysics]], but the [[Astronomer]] regularly shows up to be beaten off.

==Constructs==
<center>[[File:axehandle.gif]][[File:Kg oven.gif]]</center>

Surprisingly (or unsurprisingly as the case may very well be) many objects which one would normally think inanimate are not merely animate within the Kingdom. Constructed by some person then animated by some bored magician, they are fully capable of kicking the asses of unsuspecting adventurers, and range from [[Axe handle|mundane objects]] to [[Ancient guardian statue|more complex machinery]].

===El Vibrato===
<center>[[File:vib6.gif]]</center>

Discovered by and named after a legendary Disco Bandit called [https://www.flickr.com/photos/8115856@N04/sets/72157603456554902/ El Vibrato], these mystical rock constructs reside within an "island" of sorts deep beneath the earth. After its discovery, citizens of the Kingdom were able to invade the island by stepping through [[A Shimmering Portal]] onto [[A Shimmering Portal|El Vibrato Island]] and fiddling with all the constructs that reside there, as well as a [[El Vibrato Megadrone (familiar)|El Vibrato Megadrone]]. Tales of El Vibrato spread outside of the Kingdom and into the Distant Lands. Soon after, it was discovered that more El Vibrato [[unusual construct|constructs]] and "islands" were buried out West and were more complicated and advanced than the one found near the Kingdom.

===Golems===
<center>[[File:Beergolem.gif]][[File:Minegolem.gif]]</center>

Nowadays, magic allows you to create a golem out of pretty much anything. Many golems are made of foods such as [[Meat Golem|meat]], [[Fruit Golem|fruits]], [[Chowder Golem|chowder]], and [[Heimandatz, Nacho Golem|nachos]], as well as non-edible items such as [[Pencil golem|pencils]] and [[Collapsed mineshaft golem|mineshafts]]. Whoever made these must not have had anything better to do.

===Mechanical Beings===
<center>[[File:mech.gif]][[File:Borgelf3.gif]]</center>

As the Kingdom's thinking machine technology is somewhat lacking, there aren't a lot of these that are native to the Kingdom. However, robotic constructs have invaded before; the beings in the Sinister Dodecahedron in [[the LAAAAME Observatory]] are clearly such, as was witnessed during [[Crimbo Town Toy Factory (2007)|Crimbo 2007]]. The [[MagiMechTech MechaMech]]s of [[the Penultimate Fantasy Airship]] are possibly leftover invaders that have been repurposed for parody value.

Mechanical beings are also seen as familiars; the [[Ninja Pirate Zombie Robot]], [[O.A.F.]], etc., for example, are all mechanical constructs or cyborgs (in the case of the NPZR). A complete list can be found [[:Category:Robotic Familiars|here]].

===Trainbots===
<center>[[File:Trainbot switch.gif]][[File:Trainbot drinks.gif]][[File:Trainbot wine.gif]]</center>
Trainbots were made for the Crimbo Train for [[Crimbo Town (2022)|Crimbo 2022]]. However, before the mists allowed adventurers to head to Crimbo Town, the Trainbots went haywire and locked all the elves inside, as well as never stopping the train. There were three types residing in each of the [[Crimbo Train (Caboose)|f]][[Crimbo Train (Passenger Car)|o]][[Crimbo Train (Dining Car)|u]][[Crimbo Train (Coal Car)|r]] cars, as well as the [[Superconductor]] controlling the locomotive. [[The Superconductor's CPU]] was eventually removed, resulting in the train eventually losing momentum and stopping. It is believed that all of the remaining Trainbots were decommissioned.

==Demons==
<center>[[File:wimp.gif]]</center>

The minions of Satan inhabit the nefarious realm of [[Hey Deze]], but occasionally travel to the surface through the rift that the Deep Fat Friars accidentally forged. [[Hellion]]s, [[Demoninja]]s, and [[P imp]]s alike show their evil nature to Adventurers who wander too close to [[Pandamonium Slums]]. Azazel rules Pandemonium; the third largest city in Hey Deze. 

The retired nether fiends mentioned in [[The Haunted Library]] of [[Spookyraven Manor]] may be related to these. Some Demons can be summoned in the [[Summoning Chamber]] should you have the right materials and their Names. Curiously, the Demon of the [[Big Flaming Whip]] was summoned by demon followers within Hey Deze itself. Whether Hey Deze is outsourcing to other netherworlds is not known.

===Cows===
<center>[[File:Awolcow1.gif]]</center>
While some are [[sea cow|"normal"]] (or quite [[storm cow|weird]]), a majority of cows are demons that somehow escaped from Hell itself. The brutal event known as The Cows Came Home happened around the late 19th century in the Distant Lands. Not only did these cows cause destruction on their path, but regular cows were also possessed and turned aggressive. Thankfully, the Kingdom of Loathing remained unaffected by such an event, but some [[pyrobove|cows]] had somehow made it to the kingdom, along with some messed-up [[cow cultist|worshipers]].

===Seals===
<center>[[File:babyseal.gif]]</center>

Some see seals as playful mammals, innocent frolickers in the seas of the world. [[Seal Clubber]]s know better--these monstrosities are nothing but pure aggressive evil, far worse than that of other demons, and deserve to be [[Infernal Seals|clubbed]] to death. Only an [[Adorable Seal Larva]] captured while young is even remotely tamable; and in that case it's still horrible, evil, and aggressive--it's just aimed at your enemies.

==Dudes==
<center>[[File:Jick avatar.gif]]</center>

Easily the most common and diverse of races in the Kingdom, dudes occupy a wide range of occupations, from [[Protagonist|adventurers]], [[Drab Bard|musicians]], [[Cloaca-Cola Soldier|soldiers]], [[Lynyrd skinner|hunters]], [[Evil spaghetti cult neophyte|cultists]], [[Me4t begZ0r|beggers]], [[crazy bastard]]s, [[The Temporal Bandit|time travelers]], and many more. Not all dudes are always defined by their occupation, however, as some identify themselves by [[Rag-tag band of survivors|sticking with other dudes]].

[[The Hidden City|Pygmies]] are also considered dudes, even if they are much shorter and reclusive than other dudes. [[Blur|Things]] that are [[Adventurer echo|in the shape of dudes]] (or at least [[Your butt|a part of it]]) are considered dudes as well.

Dudes are also different from other dude offshoots in that they pursue a more extreme way of life, which causes their entire phylum to change as a result.

==Elementals==
<center>[[File:whirlwind.gif]][[File:Mc tofu3.gif]]</center>

Elementals are the physical embodiment of an essence of some force in the universe, not necessarily of the five elements. The lesser elementals consist of simple items like [[Grass Elemental|grass]] and [[Tonic water elemental|tonic water]], and the more powerful elementals embody things like [[Hockey elemental|hockey]] and [[Essence of Interspecies Respect|interspecies respect]]. They are similar to their golem cousins, just (slightly) less mundane.

===Ninja Snowmen===
<center>[[File:snowman.gif]]</center>

These "snowmen" live near the coldest area of the Kingdom: The [[Lair of the Ninja Snowmen]] on [[Mt. McLargeHuge]]. The Snowmen have chosen to study the martial arts, and some of the higher ranking Snowmen have developed their own [[Ninja Snowman Janitor|mop and pail]] oriented fighting style. Though the Ninja Snowmen are in constant battle with the Samurais the Ninja Snowmen have remained on top for untold months. Whether [[Frosty]] and [[Frosty the Snow Golem|the other Frosty]] have any relation is unknown.

==Elves==
<center>[[File:elf.gif]][[File:crimboelf.gif]]</center>

Elves are a rarely beheld race in the Kingdom, but their presence is felt. The mysterious pork elves left [[Dad, I'm in Space!|to the moons]] eons ago, the only trace of them being their mysterious [[Hamethyst|pork]] [[Baconstone|gem]][[Porquoise|stones]] and [[Pork Elf Prizes|beautiful armor]]. However, their descendants do pop up every now and again. A few [[Flee to me, remote elf!|Elfin maidens]] (who specialize in shortbread) have been found wandering [[the Palindome]] at their own peril, and Uncle [[Crimbo]] still employs a few elves as wage slaves in [[Crimbo Town (2005)|Crimbo Town]], when he isn't employing their [[Crimboku Town!|cousins]] from Distant Lands. Some Adventurers may even keep a [[Crimbo Elf]] as their familiar. No word yet on any elf-made shoes.

==Fish==
<center>[[File:Bazookafish.gif]][[File:Octopus.gif]][[File:Sm grandpa.gif]]</center>

Deep within under [[The Sea]] contain a host of waterbreathing creatures. Many of them are significantly tougher than creatures that live on dry land, and just encountering them takes some effort by the adventurer. They will need a way for them and their familiar to [[Underwater adventuring|breathe underwater]], but will find their movements severely encumbered if they're not feeling [[Fishy]]. They also have to deal with the amount of pressure that suppresses their drops, as well as [[Rotten dolphin thief|annoying jerk dolphins]] that like to steal drops from adventurers. While the Sea is hostile, many of items that can be salvaged are quite useful, and the adventurer can make friends with the [[The Sea Monkees' Castle|Sea Monkee family]] that lives there.

==Goblins==
<center>[[File:Kg asstchef.gif]]</center>

The knob goblins seem to be the most common race of goblins in the Kingdom as of this age (the 2nd age to be exact). The Knobs seem have migrated from distant lands but have found their way to [[The Nearby Plains]]. Some of the lesser Knob Goblins live on the outskirts of their home: [[Cobb's Knob]]. The ones on the outskirts appear to be weak (perhaps too weak to go inside the knob?) and are made up of laboratory assistants and chefs. However, once you go inside their home, you may find [[Kitchens]] and a [[Treasury]] (where the "smart" goblins are living), as well as the [[Harem]] (where the king's many wives live) and, finally, the [[Throne Room]], where the boss of the Knobs live. There is also a door to the [[Laboratory|Cobb's Knob Laboratory]], but some say that no real goblins are in there...

There once was a band of [[tribal goblin]]s in Loathing [[The Jungles of Ancient Loathing|long ago]]. It's likely [[Krakrox the Barbarian|Krakrox]] killed them all. He was very good at that.

==Hippies==
<center>[[File:Hippy1.gif]]</center>

Hippies commune in [[The Mysterious Island of Mystery]], right across the Frat Orc territory. An offshoot of the dudes, they are shunned for their vile stench and their inability to function properly within society. Despite their stance on peace, they are more than willing to assault adventurers and the rival Frat Orcs. Almost all hippies never leave [[The Hippy Camp]], but a few can be seen venturing outside their territory, such as the [[eXtreme cross-country hippy]].

==Hobos==
<center>[[File:Nhobo1.gif]]</center>

Hoboes, short for ''hobo sapien'', may resemble dudes, but can be distinguished by their scruffy beards and raggedness. Long ago (or not, time is complicated) in the Distant Lands, Johhny, the King of Hobos, sought to build a nation by hobos, for hobos. Due to the Distant Land's messed-up government, Johhny sought a more fitting place for such a nation, eventually learning of the Kingdom of Loathing's existence. Traveling by train cars, Johhny and his associates ventured east, where he would be the founder of [[Hobopolis]], having it built deep underground. It is known to be the heart of hobo society that functions with the use of [[hobo code binder|unique symbols]] and their own [[hobo nickel|currency]]. The hobos are now under the rule of [[Hodgman, The Hoboverlord]] and his five minions. Besides Hobopolis, a few hobos live in exile at [[The Sleazy Back Alley]]. During [[Crimbo]] 2010, [[Uncle Hobo|Uncle Crimbo]] and several unemployed elves made [[Elf Alley|residence]] in Hobopolis.

==Humanoids==
<center>[[File:Chum5.gif]][[File:Gremlinveg.gif]]</center>

Humanoids are like dudes, but not quite, as both their physiology and culture differ from that of dudes. They may or may not get along with dudes or other humanoids.

===Giants===
<center>[[File:agiant.gif]]</center>

The Giants live away from the Kingdom in [[the Castle in the Clouds in the Sky]] obediently following the duties assigned to them by a [[Keep On Turnin' the Wheel in the Sky|curious wheel]] (or [[Procrastination Giant|not]] as the case may be), though [[Booze Giant|some]] seem to have stumbled off. They have a strong dislike for Adventurers but have much tolerance for the oddities within their own race (after all, they allow the [[Goth Giant]]s and [[Furry Giant]]s to live, don't they?) [[Booze Giant]]s no longer live in the Castle; they were caught by the Knob Goblins and kept in their [[Menagerie Level 3|menagerie]].

===Gnolls===
<center>[[File:gnoll.gif]]</center>

This race of Knob-Goblin-like creatures inhabits [[Degrassi Knoll]], and is led by the [[Mayor Zapruder]]. They enjoy building machines, [[Mushroom Fields|growing mushrooms]], [[Tame the Bugbears|taming Bugbears]], [[The Bakery|baking]], [[Innabox|smithing]], and [[The Gym|pumping iron]]. Venturing into Degrassi Knoll can be an arduous task for many adventurers, but they are very friendly with those born under [[Moon sign|Muscle signs]]. Though not as prolific a race as the Goblins or Gnomes, their [[The Plunger|alternative]] to [[Meat Pasting]] is quite impressive. They are likely inspired by the Gnolls of "Dungeons and Dragons," a hyena-like humanoid race that is famous for its bad hygiene.

===Gnomes===
<center>[[File:fragnk.gif]]</center>

Perhaps the third most commogn of the humagnoid races (agnd, they would argue, the most advagnced). These short little gnomadic creatures wagnder [[the Arid, Extra-Dry Desert|desert]], making camps and thegn building small, temporary villages. They are the ognly race kgnowgn to have mastered the craft of [[Supertinkering|clockwork]] agnd cagn comprehegnd their [[Torso Awaregness|torsos]]. Though they take pride in their [[The Gnomish Gnomads' Camp|Gnomish Commugnity]], magny will happily ignteract with advegnturers, igncludigng [[Thugnderdome|aregna battles]], [[Fragnk, the Regnaissance Gnome|teaching gnew skills]], [[The Gnomish Micromicrobrewery|selling booze]], and rugngning [[Hagnk's Ancestral Mini-Storage|busignesses]] withign [[Seaside Town]].

===7-Foot Dwarves===
<center>[[File:miner.gif]]</center>

The 7-Foot Dwarves inhabit the [[Itznotyerzitz Mine]], where they moil for meat, chrome, asbestos, and linoleum night and day under the supervision of the [[7-Foot Dwarf Foreman]]. Wielding sharp, nasty, pointy [[7-Foot Dwarven mattock|mattocks]], they are prepared to defend what is theirs. The Foremen live in a gorge near the Mine, where they relax and have cookouts on their Gorge Foreman Grills when not exerting power over their 7-foot brethren. The Dwarves even have their own [[Dwarvish language|written language and numbering system]]. They are inspired by the countless species of smaller Dwarves that live throughout the various fantasy stories of the world. They are credited for having created the [[Transparent Trappings|Plexiglass set]]; although one [[Judith Plexi, Inventor|Judith Plexi]] claims otherwise.

==Horrors==
<center>[[File:clown.gif]][[File:peanut.gif]]</center>

There exists are things man should never see (or at least avert their eyes from it whenever possible), and creatures of the Horror phylum embody these. Whether they come in the form of [[Alielf|genetic abominations]], [[Eye in the darkness|Eldritch horror]], or something [[four-shadowed mime|plain creepy]], adventurers should be afraid. Very afraid.

===Beasts with many parts===
<center>[[File:eyebeast.gif]][[File:earbeast.gif]]</center>

These hideous mockeries of life are found within [[Fernswarthy's Basement]]. Drawn, no doubt, to the great magic residing within the depths of Fernswarthy's Tower, devouring or... well, doing SOMEthing unpleasant and terrifying to Adventurers who venture into their depths. Apart from their grotesque nature, they're fairly easy to get along with. [[Monster Manuel]] notes that they have regular Fernswarthy Basement community meetings (though there's some tension between [[Beast with X Eyes]] and the other monsters due to an excess amount of eye puns).

===Clowns===
<center>[[File:Beelzebozo.gif]][[File:clown.gif]][[File:Awolclown1.gif]]</center>

These guys ain't your normal creepy clowns. They are theorized to come from Hell itself and were let loose [[The Nearby Plains in the Distant Past|long ago]] in [[Clown Rock]], now known as [[The Fun House]]. They aren't considered demons but rather a form of horror nobody should ever encounter. [[The Clownlord Beelzebozo]] has a legendary piece to a legendary artifact that forces adventurers to face the clowny horrors in order to retrieve it.

While most of these clowns reside in the Fun House, another type of clown, called Rodeo Clowns, roam the Distant Lands west of the kingdom. They are the enemy of the cows and also escaped Hell when The Cows Came Home. A few rodeo clowns somehow made their way to the kingdom, possibly following the cows that went the same direction.

===Elder Gods===
<center>[[File:Shub-jigguwatt.gif]][[File:Yog-urt.gif]]</center>
Worshiped by Mer-Kins, they are the deities possibly responsible for all the Loathing within the kingdom. Their origins are unknown, and only two are known to exist: One of Violence and another of Hatred. Some ancient link was discovered in the [[Mer-kin Temple]], according to [[Grandpa#"Rumor" or "Rumors" or "Rumour" or "Rumours"|Grandpa]], within [[The Mer-Kin Deepcity]]. If you seek to fight an Elder God, you must choose the path of a [[Sea Monkees Quest#Gladiator path|Violent Gladiator]] or a [[Sea Monkees Quest#Scholar path|Hateful Scholar]]. Defeating either god will give you either a piece of the [[Violent Vestments]] or the [[Hateful Habiliment]], depending on both which god you killed and your current class (as well as some [[karma]]). Gathering all of both clothing sets can be forged together into the legendary [[Clothing of Loathing]], but the final piece to the set remains with the [[Dad Sea Monkee|True Final Boss]] of the Kingdom of Loathing. Prepare yourself to head to the Deepcity [[13]] times.

===Genetic Abominations===
<center>[[File:Ferrelf.gif]][[File:Mutantalielf.gif]][[File:Dogalien.gif]]</center>

These unfortunate creatures were once normal (as normal is to the Kingdom of Loathing) but have undergone horrible genetic mutations. These poor souls can mostly be found in the doomed cities of [[Domed City of Ronaldus|Ronaldus]] and [[Domed City of Grimacia|Grimacia]] and nearby the [[Hamburglaris Shield Generator]]. Their fates were due to the Shield Generator, once on Grimacia, being damaged upon [[The Comet|the 2006 comet's impact]], disabling the shields protecting the elves from [[Notes from the Elfpocalypse, Chapter III|intergalactic radiation]]. Don't feel bad about attacking them. Frankly, you're doing them a favor.

===Shadows===
<center>[[File:Shadowspider.gif]][[File:Shadowprism.gif]][[File:Shadowdevil.gif]]</center>

A non-existing entity that somehow exists. These eldritch horrors usually reside within the Shadow Realm, but some [[Avatar of Shadows Over Loathing|strange]] activity in the Distant Lands had opened [[Shadow Rifts]] across the lands, including at one point the kingdom itself! They also appear to grow more aggressive the more one attacks them, but they cool down the next day. Fortunately, whatever was causing the rifts to open stopped doing so, and the rifts closed once more. However, some people had [[Closed-circuit pay phone|connections]] to [[Calling Rufus|someone]] from the Distant Lands, who was able to reopen the rifts for them in search of shadowy items. It is unknown who was the original source of the rifts...or if they had any [[General Bruise|ass]][[Dark Noël|oci]][[Terrence Poindexter|ates]]. If you ever do come across these creatures of horror, note that they are immune to all physical attack, so elemental attacks are your best bet to defeating these shadows.

==Mer-kin==
<center>[[File:Merkindiver.gif]]</center>

Mer-kins live under [[The Sea]], and are total jerks that hate adventurers and everything else. They are, however, fairly more advanced than their fish neighbors, as they have developed [[Mer-kin hookspear|weapons]] and [[Mer-kin breastplate|armor]], and are well-versed in the [[Mer-kin killscroll|occult]]. Mer-kins live in [[The Mer-Kin Deepcity]], located in a [[Intense Currents|highly inaccessible]] area, where it has its own [[Mer-kin Elementary School|school]], [[Mer-kin Colosseum|entertainment venue]], and a [[Mer-kin Temple|temple]] for [[Shub-Jigguwatt, Elder God of Violence|Elder]] [[Yog-Urt, Elder Goddess of Hatred|God]] worship.

==Orcs==
<center>[[File:fratboy.gif]][[File:smutorc nailer.gif]]</center>

The Orcs of Loathing are perhaps the most drastic change from the fantasy stereotype given to creatures in the entire game. Some races of Orcs, such as [[Sorority Operator|Sorority]] [[Sorority Nurse|Orcs]], are even described as ATTRACTIVE--quite a change indeed, although the [[Orcish Frat House|Orcish Frat Boys]] may compensate for this. In addition, there are Half-Orc Hobos found in [[the Sleazy Back Alley]] (and it's certain that most citizens of Loathing do not care to know what kind of perverted crossbreed brought them into existence) and the eXtreme orcs, who like to snowboard and can be found at the [[Large Donkey Mountain Ski Resort]], [[The Road to the White Citadel]], and [[the eXtreme Slope]].

On the other end of the spectrum, the Smut Orcs can be found at their [[The Smut Orc Logging Camp|Logging Camp]], where they bang (nails) and rail on (hard)wood. They may not be as good-looking as the Frat Orcs, but they are honest workers, despite what [[smut orc pervert|someone]] with a dirty mind would say otherwise.

==Penguins==
<center>[[File:pengthug.gif]]</center>

Every penguin you can encounter works for the Penguin Mafia, and the Penguin Mafia have made a [[The History of the Penguin Mafia|significant impact]] in KoL history, even before the days of NS13. The Penguin Mafia first appeared after [[Black Sunday]] to rob suddenly rich adventurers of their illegally acquired meat by charging exorbitant amounts of meat for "[[Uncle P's Antiques|goods]]", "[[Broken Knees|services]]", and [[The Raffle House|raffles]]. Once the money from players had been cleaned out, their next ventures included mining the old [[The Grim Grimacite Site|Grimacite comet]] and cutting deals with [[Uncle Crimbo]]. Only a handful of Mob Penguins can be encountered today, many of them only during certain [[Crimbo|seasonal events]]. They may or may not be native to [[The Icy Peak]].

==Pirates==
<center>[[File:Piratem.gif]]</center>

Pirates live in [[The Obligatory Pirate's Cove]] in [[The Mysterious Island of Mystery]]. They prefer to not have anything to do with their neighbor hippies and frat orcs, and instead spend their days [[Barrrney's|drinking at the tavern]], [[The F'c'le|tending to]] [[The Poop Deck|their ship]], and sometimes [[O Cap'm, My Cap'm|sailing the eleven seas]]. On days [[Talk Like a Pirate Day|dedicated to them]], adventurers may find pirate exiles wandering the dry land.

=== Crimbuccaneers===
<center>[[File:Cbfruit.gif]][[File: Cbwhaler.gif]][[File: Cbretiree.gif]]</center>

These more festive pirates made themselves known on [[Crimbo Town (2023)|Crimbo 2023]] and are led by Sammy the Pirate Elf. They attempted to take over Crimbo Town and the holiday itself, thus waging war against the Crimbo Elves. What followed was an 11-day war between the Crimbuccaneers and the Elf Guard. The higher ranked officers deal with the Elf Guards while they send the more lower rakining officers/recruits to deal with any nosey adventurers. Eventually, Sammy and Tammy reached a peace agreement, now fighting for fun and who will run Crimbo in 2024, which went on for another 21 days. The pirates still won (most likely due to neglecting to tell the army that the fight was now for fun) and will come back in 2024.

==Plants==
<center>[[File:carniv.gif]]</center>

The [[triffid]], [[Carnivorous Moxie Weed]], [[carnivorous dill plant]], {{plural|potted fern}}, and all other creatures that photosynthesize sunlight in the Kingdom go in this category--from the smallest blade of grass to the tallest Dutch-Elm-Disease-riddled Ent.

===Gravy Fairies===
<center>[[File:Sgwarlock.gif]]</center>

These peaceful little creatures make [[Fairy gravy boat|enchanted gravy]], which is then stolen from them by adventurers in [[the Haiku Dungeon]]. The only race which is not peaceful is the Spooky Gravy Fairy, led by the nefarious [[Felonia, Queen of the Spooky Gravy Fairies]].

==Slime==
<center>[[File:slime1 1.gif]][[File:Slimeform m.gif]]</center>

All life came from the [[the Primordial Soup]], and not everything chose to leave it. Related to Elementals, Saucerors believe that "the Source" disowned some of the latebloomers. Slime is everywhere, and many of the various races of Loathing have slimy members in their midst. [[The Dungeons of Doom]] have the [[acid blob]]s, while the [[8-Bit Realm]] has the [[Zol]]. The biggest two concentrations of Slime in the Kingdom are [[the Convention Hall Lobby]] for the [[Sauceror]] [[Me and My Nemesis|Nemesis quest]] and [[the Slime Tube]] underneath ''every clan house''; home of the [[Mother Slime]]. Taking [[Slimeform]] shows a link between the two. For those who challenge the [[Mother Slime]] with all of their speed and all of [[Slime Hates It|its hatred]]; an innocent [[Slimeling]] will give its allegiance.

==Weird==
<center>[[File:Finger.gif]][[File:Kasemhead.gif]]</center>

Weird creatures are whose existence and origins are simply impossible to explain. They could be [[Urge to Stare at Your Hands|hallucinations]], [[Butterknife of Regret|pretentious metaphors]], or [[Sloppy Seconds Burger|abominations]] that [[Possessed Can of Linguine-Os|insult life]].

==Undead==
<center>[[File:zombie.gif]][[File:Elizabeth.gif]][[File:Ed_av1.gif]]</center>

[[Zobmie|Zombies]], [[Skleleton|skeletons]], [[Chalkdust wraith|ghost]], and other [[Spooky mummy|horror]] [[Spooky vampire (Spooky Forest)|cliches]] go in here. Adventurers will find that the undead like to stay in groups in concentrated areas. [[The Misspelled Cemetary (Pre-Cyrpt)|The]] [[The Misspelled Cemetary (Post-Cyrpt)|Misspelled Cemetary]], [[The Upper Chamber|Upper Chamber]] and [[The Middle Chamber|Middle Chamber]] contain a host of previously alive creatures. The [[Spookyraven Manor]] contains ghosts of all different kinds, and is even [[Lady Spookyraven|owned by one]]. For those who are feeling particularly brave, [[Dreadsylvania]] is the home to various powerful undead. Most of them are aligned to the [[Spooky]] element, so bring some heat. Or, oddly, stench.

Undead beings are also seen as familiars; like the [[Misshapen Animal Skeleton]] or the [[Ghuol Whelp]]. A complete list can be found [[:Category:Undead Familiars|here]].

===Vampires===
<center>[[File:vampire.gif]]</center>

[[Count Bakula]] and the [[spooky vampire (Spooky Forest)|spooky vampire]]s in [[the Spooky Forest]]. [[Gift-wrapping vampire|They]] also work for [[Linnea, the Scream Queen]]. The [[Dreadsylvanian Castle]] is a home to many vampires (which they share with skeletons), with the [[Count Drunkula|strongest one]] being a raging alcoholic.

==Miscellaneous==
Groups of creatures that are similar in structure but radically differ in actual phylums.
===8-Bit Beings===
<center>[[File:octorok.gif]]</center>

The creatures that dwell in the astral [[8-Bit Realm]], a link between the Kingdom and the world of mythical Designers, are vibrantly colored, hearkening back to bygone days of the first adventurers. While most of the fauna of the 8-Bit Realm can be observed merely by knowing [[continuum transfunctioner|how to find them]], certain rare species hole themselves up in a [[Map to Vanya's Castle|Castle]], so that only those with the proper map can find them. Generally, the creatures mostly prefer to keep to themselves, but they will ferociously attack adventurers who invade their home to steal their precious Pixels. [[The Crackpot Mystic's Shed|Those]] that provoke their ire may find themselves [[The Crackpot Mystic's Psychoses|afflicted]] by their [[Anger Man|worst]] [[Doubt Man|nightmares]] [[Fear Man|made]] [[Regret Man|real]].

===Grey Goo===
<center>[[File:Goo bigball.gif]]</center>

Grey Goo is complicated to label appropriately. While most of it is labeled as a construct, others are labeled as beasts or plants because they take a similar shape to the monsters that are categorized in such species, but this is not always the case (making it more confusing). Grey Goo was discovered in [[The LAAAAME Observatory#Miscellaneous|A Ball Of Gray Goo]] by the Astronomers of Loathing many years ago, said to be heading directly to the Kingdom. However, it was never in the Council's radar until 2020, when the ball would [[Grey Goo|crash]] in the [[Grey Goo Impact Site|Nearby Plains]]. Unknown if driven by magic or dark energy, it absorbed and attacked anything on sight that wasn't grey or gooey. It eventually hardened after three days, solving the problem by itself. 

The Council was somehow able to get rid of the goo. However, one [[Grey You|active source]] remained and, two years later, proceeded to absorb everything in its path. Thankfully, by the time it got to King Ralph, he managed to send all of the remaining Grey Goo a year and a half in the past, right into the ocean...where it would accidentally drift into the North Pole and be researched at [[Site Alpha Research Facility, North Pole|Site Alpha]]. Sometime before [[Crimbo#2021|Crimbo 2021]], something went wrong and absorbed the workers and other objects. Thankfully, due to the freezing temperatures and the destruction of the heater systems, the goo froze solid. They were momentarily freed when the Crimbo Elves sought a new [[Cheer Core Get|Cheer Core]] within one of the facilities, but were frozen again upon finding it.

===Symbols===
<center>[[File:atsign.gif]]</center>

The NetHack-plagiarized denizens of [[the Dungeons of Doom]] are all in this category, and there have been [[Anime Smiley|creatures]] outside the Dungeons placed under this category. In fact, the items from the Dungeons go in this category too, and any other symbols encountered in the Kingdom. Heck, the message text is in this category. Despite looking like letters and symbols you find on your keyboard, their biology functions just like as if they actually looked like how they are described.

===Wolves and Were-creatures===
<center>[[File:werewolf.gif]]</center>

[[Baiowulf]], [[weremoose]], [[weretaco]], [[werecougar]], [[warwelf]], [[wolfman]], etc. They are labeled one but belong in the middle of two. We don't talk about them much.

[[Category:Combat Adventures|{{PAGENAME}}]]