View source for The Armory and Leggery

__NOTOC__
[[File:armorer_anim.gif|center]][[File:armorer.gif|center]]
[Name], the Armorer and Leggerer runs [[The Armory and Leggery]] in [[Market Square]]. <br>The items for sale here are grouped into five categories: Melee Weapons, Ranged Weapons, Utensils, Hats, and Pants.

----

<table align="center"><tr><td>[[File:Matt.gif|The Armorer and Leggerer]]</td><td align="left">
'''[Name], the Armorer and Leggerer'''

"Hey, what are you lookin' at?

Just kidding. Don't worry, I've heard 'em all. All the jokes, all the questions.<br> Questions like 'How do you make all this gear with no arms or legs?'

Anyway, what can I get for you? Or, umm, what can you get for yourself?"</td></tr></table>

{{button|[[Lending a Hand (and a Foot)|The sign says there's a sale?]]}}

==Items Sold==
{| align="center"
!colspan="2"|Item:||Price:
|-
|colspan="3" height="1" bgcolor="black"|
|-
!colspan="3"|— Melee Weapons —
|-
|colspan="3" height="1" bgcolor="black"|
{{StoreItem|item=cool whip|price=30}}
{{StoreItem|item=sweet ninja sword|price=50}}
{{StoreItem|item=suede shortsword|price=300}}
{{StoreItem|item=25-meat staff|price=525}}
{{StoreItem|item=bamboo bokuto|price=750}}
{{StoreItem|item=two-handed depthsword|price=900}}
{{StoreItem|item=bill bec-de-bardiche glaive-guisarme|price=1,125}}
|-
|colspan="3" height="1" bgcolor="black"|
|-
!colspan="3"|— Utensils —
|-
|colspan="3" height="1" bgcolor="black"|
{{StoreItem|item=rubber spatula|price=150}}
{{StoreItem|item=wooden spoon|price=300}}
{{StoreItem|item=crystalline reamer|price=525}}
{{StoreItem|item=macroplane grater|price=750}}
{{StoreItem|item=bastard baster|price=900}}
{{StoreItem|item=obsidian nutcracker|price=1,125}}
|-
|colspan="3" height="1" bgcolor="black"|
|-
!colspan="3"|— Ranged Weapons —
|-
|colspan="3" height="1" bgcolor="black"|
{{StoreItem|item=toy accordion|price=150}}
{{StoreItem|item=slightly peevedbow|price=450}}
{{StoreItem|item=lead yo-yo|price=600}}
{{StoreItem|item=sack of doorknobs|price=825}}
{{StoreItem|item=lucky ball-and-chain|price=975}}
{{StoreItem|item=automatic catapult|price=1,125}}
|-
|colspan="3" height="1" bgcolor="black"|
|-
!colspan="3"|— Hats —
|-
|colspan="3" height="1" bgcolor="black"|
{{StoreItem|item=snorkel|price=30}}
{{StoreItem|item=Kentucky-style derby|price=50}}
{{StoreItem|item=pentacorn hat|price=300}}
{{StoreItem|item=goofily-plumed helmet|price=525}}
{{StoreItem|item=yellow plastic hard hat|price=675}}
{{StoreItem|item=wooden salad bowl|price=900}}
{{StoreItem|item=football helmet|price=1,125}}
{{StoreItem|item=eldritch scanner|price=50,000}}
{{StoreItem|item=fishin' hat|price=10,000}}
|-
|colspan="3" height="1" bgcolor="black"|
|-
!colspan="3"|— Pants —
|-
|colspan="3" height="1" bgcolor="black"|
{{StoreItem|item=studded leather boxer shorts|price=50}}
{{StoreItem|item=chain-mail monokini|price=225}}
{{StoreItem|item=union scalemail pants|price=375}}
{{StoreItem|item=paper-plate-mail pants|price=600}}
{{StoreItem|item=troutpiece|price=825}}
{{StoreItem|item=alpha-mail pants|price=1,050}}
|-
|colspan="3" height="1" bgcolor="black"|
|-
!colspan="3"|— 2015 Standard Gear (Normal) —
|-
|colspan="3" height="1" bgcolor="black"|
{{StoreItem|item=polyester parachute|price='''1'''|currency=wickerbits|currImage=y}}
{{StoreItem|item=polyester pad|price='''1'''|currency=wickerbits|currImage=y}}
{{StoreItem|item=polyester peeler|price='''1'''|currency=wickerbits|currImage=y}}
{{StoreItem|item=polyester pettipants|price='''1'''|currency=wickerbits|currImage=y}}
{{StoreItem|item=polyester panama hat|price='''1'''|currency=wickerbits|currImage=y}}
{{StoreItem|item=polyester pulsera|price='''1'''|currency=wickerbits|currImage=y}}
|-
|colspan="3" height="1" bgcolor="black"|
|-
!colspan="3"|— 2015 Standard Gear (Hardcore) —
|-
|colspan="3" height="1" bgcolor="black"|
{{StoreItem|item=porcelain police baton|price='''1'''|currency=bakelite bits|currImage=y}}
{{StoreItem|item=porcelain plus-fours|price='''1'''|currency=bakelite bits|currImage=y}}
{{StoreItem|item=porcelain porkpie|price='''1'''|currency=bakelite bits|currImage=y}}
{{StoreItem|item=porcelain pepper mill|price='''1'''|currency=bakelite bits|currImage=y}}
{{StoreItem|item=porcelain pelerine|price='''1'''|currency=bakelite bits|currImage=y}}
{{StoreItem|item=porcelain phantom mask|price='''1'''|currency=bakelite bits|currImage=y}}
|-
|colspan="3" height="1" bgcolor="black"|
|-
!colspan="3"|— 2016 Standard Gear (Normal) —
|-
|colspan="3" height="1" bgcolor="black"|
{{StoreItem|item=wicker kickers|price='''1'''|currency=aerosolized aerogel|currImage=y}}
{{StoreItem|item=wicker slicker|price='''1'''|currency=aerosolized aerogel|currImage=y}}
{{StoreItem|item=wicker knickers|price='''1'''|currency=aerosolized aerogel|currImage=y}}
{{StoreItem|item=wicker ticker|price='''1'''|currency=aerosolized aerogel|currImage=y}}
{{StoreItem|item=wicker sticker|price='''1'''|currency=aerosolized aerogel|currImage=y}}
{{StoreItem|item=wicker clicker|price='''1'''|currency=aerosolized aerogel|currImage=y}}
|-
|colspan="3" height="1" bgcolor="black"|
|-
!colspan="3"|— 2016 Standard Gear (Hardcore) —
|-
|colspan="3" height="1" bgcolor="black"|
{{StoreItem|item=bakelite belt|price='''1'''|currency=wrought-iron flakes|currImage=y}}
{{StoreItem|item=bakelite badge|price='''1'''|currency=wrought-iron flakes|currImage=y}}
{{StoreItem|item=bakelite bowl|price='''1'''|currency=wrought-iron flakes|currImage=y}}
{{StoreItem|item=bakelite brooch|price='''1'''|currency=wrought-iron flakes|currImage=y}}
{{StoreItem|item=bakelite breeches|price='''1'''|currency=wrought-iron flakes|currImage=y}}
{{StoreItem|item=bakelite backpack|price='''1'''|currency=wrought-iron flakes|currImage=y}}
|-
|colspan="3" height="1" bgcolor="black"|
|-
!colspan="3"|— 2017 Standard Gear (Normal) —
|-
|colspan="3" height="1" bgcolor="black"|
{{StoreItem|item=aerogel anvil|price='''1'''|currency=gabardine smithereens|currImage=y}}
{{StoreItem|item=aerogel akubra|price='''1'''|currency=gabardine smithereens|currImage=y}}
{{StoreItem|item=aerogel apron|price='''1'''|currency=gabardine smithereens|currImage=y}}
{{StoreItem|item=aerogel ascot|price='''1'''|currency=gabardine smithereens|currImage=y}}
{{StoreItem|item=aerogel attache case|price='''1'''|currency=gabardine smithereens|currImage=y}}
{{StoreItem|item=aerogel accordion|price='''1'''|currency=gabardine smithereens|currImage=y}}
|-
|colspan="3" height="1" bgcolor="black"|
|-
!colspan="3"|— 2017 Standard Gear (Hardcore) —
|-
|colspan="3" height="1" bgcolor="black"|
{{StoreItem|item=wrought-iron wig|price='''1'''|currency=fiberglass fibers|currImage=y}}
{{StoreItem|item=wrought-iron winch crank|price='''1'''|currency=fiberglass fibers|currImage=y}}
{{StoreItem|item=wrought-iron widget|price='''1'''|currency=fiberglass fibers|currImage=y}}
{{StoreItem|item=wrought-iron whisk|price='''1'''|currency=fiberglass fibers|currImage=y}}
{{StoreItem|item=wrought-iron walker|price='''1'''|currency=fiberglass fibers|currImage=y}}
{{StoreItem|item=wrought-iron waders|price='''1'''|currency=fiberglass fibers|currImage=y}}
|-
|colspan="3" height="1" bgcolor="black"|
|-
!colspan="3"|— 2018 Standard Gear (Normal) —
|-
|colspan="3" height="1" bgcolor="black"|
{{StoreItem|item=gabardine gaiters|price='''1'''|currency=chalk chunks|currImage=y}}
{{StoreItem|item=gabardine garland|price='''1'''|currency=chalk chunks|currImage=y}}
{{StoreItem|item=gabardine gunnysack|price='''1'''|currency=chalk chunks|currImage=y}}
{{StoreItem|item=gabardine garibaldi|price='''1'''|currency=chalk chunks|currImage=y}}
{{StoreItem|item=gabardine girdle|price='''1'''|currency=chalk chunks|currImage=y}}
{{StoreItem|item=gabardine gloves|price='''1'''|currency=chalk chunks|currImage=y}}
|-
|colspan="3" height="1" bgcolor="black"|
|-
!colspan="3"|— 2018 Standard Gear (Hardcore) —
|-
|colspan="3" height="1" bgcolor="black"|
{{StoreItem|item=fiberglass fetish|price='''1'''|currency=marble molecules|currImage=y}}
{{StoreItem|item=fiberglass foil|price='''1'''|currency=marble molecules|currImage=y}}
{{StoreItem|item=fiberglass fannypack|price='''1'''|currency=marble molecules|currImage=y}}
{{StoreItem|item=fiberglass frock|price='''1'''|currency=marble molecules|currImage=y}}
{{StoreItem|item=fiberglass fingerguard|price='''1'''|currency=marble molecules|currImage=y}}
{{StoreItem|item=fiberglass fedora|price='''1'''|currency=marble molecules|currImage=y}}
|-
|colspan="3" height="1" bgcolor="black"|
|-
!colspan="3"|— 2019 Standard Gear (Normal) —
|-
|colspan="3" height="1" bgcolor="black"|
{{StoreItem|item=chalk chapeau|price='''1'''|currency=paraffin pieces|currImage=y}}
{{StoreItem|item=chalk chlamys|price='''1'''|currency=paraffin pieces|currImage=y}}
{{StoreItem|item=chalk chalice|price='''1'''|currency=paraffin pieces|currImage=y}}
{{StoreItem|item=chalk chinos|price='''1'''|currency=paraffin pieces|currImage=y}}
{{StoreItem|item=chalk chain|price='''1'''|currency=paraffin pieces|currImage=y}}
{{StoreItem|item=chalk choker|price='''1'''|currency=paraffin pieces|currImage=y}}
|-
|colspan="3" height="1" bgcolor="black"|
|-
!colspan="3"|— 2019 Standard Gear (Hardcore) —
|-
|colspan="3" height="1" bgcolor="black"|
{{StoreItem|item=marble maebari|price='''1'''|currency=terra cotta tidbits|currImage=y}}
{{StoreItem|item=marble mantle|price='''1'''|currency=terra cotta tidbits|currImage=y}}
{{StoreItem|item=marble magnet|price='''1'''|currency=terra cotta tidbits|currImage=y}}
{{StoreItem|item=marble mignonette bowl|price='''1'''|currency=terra cotta tidbits|currImage=y}}
{{StoreItem|item=marble medallion|price='''1'''|currency=terra cotta tidbits|currImage=y}}
{{StoreItem|item=marble mariachi hat|price='''1'''|currency=terra cotta tidbits|currImage=y}}
|-
|colspan="3" height="1" bgcolor="black"|
|-
!colspan="3"|— 2020 Standard Gear (Normal) —
|-
|colspan="3" height="1" bgcolor="black"|
{{StoreItem|item=Paraffin punching bag|price='''1'''|currency=Velour veneer|currImage=y}}
{{StoreItem|item=Paraffin pith helmet|price='''1'''|currency=Velour veneer|currImage=y}}
{{StoreItem|item=Paraffin poncho|price='''1'''|currency=Velour veneer|currImage=y}}
{{StoreItem|item=Paraffin pendant|price='''1'''|currency=Velour veneer|currImage=y}}
{{StoreItem|item=Paraffin palazzos|price='''1'''|currency=Velour veneer|currImage=y}}
{{StoreItem|item=Paraffin pseudoaccordion|price='''1'''|currency=Velour veneer|currImage=y}}
|-
|colspan="3" height="1" bgcolor="black"|
|-
!colspan="3"|— 2020 Standard Gear (Hardcore) —
|-
|colspan="3" height="1" bgcolor="black"|
{{StoreItem|item=Terra cotta truss|price='''1'''|currency=Stained glass shards|currImage=y}}
{{StoreItem|item=Terra cotta trousers|price='''1'''|currency=Stained glass shards|currImage=y}}
{{StoreItem|item=Terra cotta tongs|price='''1'''|currency=Stained glass shards|currImage=y}}
{{StoreItem|item=Terra cotta train|price='''1'''|currency=Stained glass shards|currImage=y}}
{{StoreItem|item=Terra cotta tie tack|price='''1'''|currency=Stained glass shards|currImage=y}}
{{StoreItem|item=Terra cotta tambourine|price='''1'''|currency=Stained glass shards|currImage=y}}
|-
|colspan="3" height="1" bgcolor="black"|
|-
!colspan="3"|— 2021 Standard Gear (Normal) —
|-
|colspan="3" height="1" bgcolor="black"|
{{StoreItem|item=velour voulge|price='''1'''|currency=loofah lumps|currImage=y}}
{{StoreItem|item=velour valise|price='''1'''|currency=loofah lumps|currImage=y}}
{{StoreItem|item=velour vaqueros|price='''1'''|currency=loofah lumps|currImage=y}}
{{StoreItem|item=velour vambraces|price='''1'''|currency=loofah lumps|currImage=y}}
{{StoreItem|item=velour veil|price='''1'''|currency=loofah lumps|currImage=y}}
{{StoreItem|item=velour viscometer|price='''1'''|currency=loofah lumps|currImage=y}}
|-
|colspan="3" height="1" bgcolor="black"|
|-
!colspan="3"|— 2021 Standard Gear (Hardcore) —
|-
|colspan="3" height="1" bgcolor="black"|
{{StoreItem|item=stained glass stetson|price='''1'''|currency=Flagstone flagments|currImage=y}}
{{StoreItem|item=stained glass serape|price='''1'''|currency=Flagstone flagments|currImage=y}}
{{StoreItem|item=stained glass shiv|price='''1'''|currency=Flagstone flagments|currImage=y}}
{{StoreItem|item=stained glass shield|price='''1'''|currency=Flagstone flagments|currImage=y}}
{{StoreItem|item=stained glass suspenders|price='''1'''|currency=Flagstone flagments|currImage=y}}
{{StoreItem|item=stained glass spectacles|price='''1'''|currency=Flagstone flagments|currImage=y}}
|-
|colspan="3" height="1" bgcolor="black"|
|-
!colspan="3"|— 2022 Standard Gear (Normal) —
|-
|colspan="3" height="1" bgcolor="black"|
{{StoreItem|item=loofah lumberjack's hat|price='''1'''|currency=chiffon carbage|currImage=y}}
{{StoreItem|item=loofah ladle|price='''1'''|currency=chiffon carbage|currImage=y}}
{{StoreItem|item=loofah lederhosen|price='''1'''|currency=chiffon carbage|currImage=y}}
{{StoreItem|item=loofah lavalier|price='''1'''|currency=chiffon carbage|currImage=y}}
{{StoreItem|item=loofah legwarmers|price='''1'''|currency=chiffon carbage|currImage=y}}
{{StoreItem|item=loofah lei|price='''1'''|currency=chiffon carbage|currImage=y}}
|-
|colspan="3" height="1" bgcolor="black"|
|-
!colspan="3"|— 2022 Standard Gear (Hardcore) —
|-
|colspan="3" height="1" bgcolor="black"|
{{StoreItem|item=flagstone fez|price='''1'''|currency=ceramic scree|currImage=y}}
{{StoreItem|item=flagstone fleece|price='''1'''|currency=ceramic scree|currImage=y}}
{{StoreItem|item=flagstone flail|price='''1'''|currency=ceramic scree|currImage=y}}
{{StoreItem|item=flagstone flag|price='''1'''|currency=ceramic scree|currImage=y}}
{{StoreItem|item=flagstone flip-flops|price='''1'''|currency=ceramic scree|currImage=y}}
{{StoreItem|item=flagstone fringe|price='''1'''|currency=ceramic scree|currImage=y}}
|-
|colspan="3" height="1" bgcolor="black"|
|-
!colspan="3"|— 2023 Standard Gear (Normal) —
|-
|colspan="3" height="1" bgcolor="black"|
{{StoreItem|item=chiffon chevrons|price='''1'''|currency=moss mulch|currImage=y}}
{{StoreItem|item=chiffon chapeau|price='''1'''|currency=moss mulch|currImage=y}}
{{StoreItem|item=chiffon chamberpot|price='''1'''|currency=moss mulch|currImage=y}}
{{StoreItem|item=chiffon chemise|price='''1'''|currency=moss mulch|currImage=y}}
{{StoreItem|item=chiffon chakram|price='''1'''|currency=moss mulch|currImage=y}}
{{StoreItem|item=chiffon chaps|price='''1'''|currency=moss mulch|currImage=y}}
|-
|colspan="3" height="1" bgcolor="black"|
|-
!colspan="3"|— 2023 Standard Gear (Hardcore) —
|-
|colspan="3" height="1" bgcolor="black"|
{{StoreItem|item=ceramic cestus|price='''1'''|currency=adobe assortment|currImage=y}}
{{StoreItem|item=ceramic centurion shield|price='''1'''|currency=adobe assortment|currImage=y}}
{{StoreItem|item=ceramic celery grater|price='''1'''|currency=adobe assortment|currImage=y}}
{{StoreItem|item=ceramic celsiturometer|price='''1'''|currency=adobe assortment|currImage=y}}
{{StoreItem|item=ceramic cerecloth belt|price='''1'''|currency=adobe assortment|currImage=y}}
{{StoreItem|item=ceramic cenobite's robe|price='''1'''|currency=adobe assortment|currImage=y}}
|-
|colspan="3" height="1" bgcolor="black"|
|-
!colspan="3"|— 2024 Standard Gear (Normal) —
|-
|colspan="3" height="1" bgcolor="black"|
{{StoreItem|item=moss mace|price='''1'''|currency=crepe paper pared cuttings|currImage=y}}
{{StoreItem|item=moss megaphone|price='''1'''|currency=crepe paper pared cuttings|currImage=y}}
{{StoreItem|item=moss medal|price='''1'''|currency=crepe paper pared cuttings|currImage=y}}
{{StoreItem|item=moss mitre|price='''1'''|currency=crepe paper pared cuttings|currImage=y}}
{{StoreItem|item=moss mantle|price='''1'''|currency=crepe paper pared cuttings|currImage=y}}
{{StoreItem|item=moss marlinspike|price='''1'''|currency=crepe paper pared cuttings|currImage=y}}
|-
|colspan="3" height="1" bgcolor="black"|
|-
!colspan="3"|— 2024 Standard Gear (Hardcore) —
|-
|colspan="3" height="1" bgcolor="black"|
{{StoreItem|item=adobe arsecover|price='''1'''|currency=petrified wood waste parts|currImage=y}}
{{StoreItem|item=adobe adze|price='''1'''|currency=petrified wood waste parts|currImage=y}}
{{StoreItem|item=adobe abacus|price='''1'''|currency=petrified wood waste parts|currImage=y}}
{{StoreItem|item=adobe ayam|price='''1'''|currency=petrified wood waste parts|currImage=y}}
{{StoreItem|item=adobe ascot|price='''1'''|currency=petrified wood waste parts|currImage=y}}
{{StoreItem|item=adobe abaya|price='''1'''|currency=petrified wood waste parts|currImage=y}}
|}

==Notes==
*The shopkeeper's name varies from character to character, and changes with each [[ascension]], though the filename of the image is 'matt.gif'. Reported aliases are Art, Bill, Bob, Jack, Matt, Sandy, Warren as well as the duo of Kurt 'n Rod who look like this:

<table align="center"><tr><td>[[File:Kurtnrod.gif|The Armorer and Leggerer]]</td><td align="left">
'''Kurt 'n Rod, the Armorer and Leggerer, Respectively'''

"Hey, what are you lookin' at?

Just kidding. Don't worry, we've heard 'em all. All the jokes, all the questions. Questions like 'How do you make all this gear with no arms or legs?'

Anyway, what can we get for you? Or, umm, what can you get for yourself?"
</td></tr></table>

*The sections for standard ascension gear from previous years only appear if you have the relevant currency (ex: wickerbits, bakelite bits, etc).
*In a [[Zombie Slayer]] run, the store is closed:
:As you approach the Armory & Leggery, the first thing you notice is the large number of motionless corpses lying around, many of them with some or all of their head blown off, and the rest with crossbow bolts sticking out of their eyes.

:As you ponder the scene, a zombie shuffles up to see what you're doing. "Graaaa-urk!" he says, as a flaming arrow sails out of the window of the A&L and into his ear. It's at this point that you decide that maybe you should steer clear of the town's largest and best-defended weapons cache.

*In a [[Nuclear Autumn]] run, the store is closed:
:Looks like the Armorer and Leggerer felt like the risk of losing additional limbs due to mutation was too great. They packed up and left the store barren.

*In a [[Kingdom of Exploathing]] run, the entire market district is gone and this store is unavailable

==History==
*The Armory and Leggery was an expansion to the [[Market Square]] added to the Kingdom on February 27, 2006.
*In an impressive show of mercantile fortitude on March 5, 2006, [[The Armory and Leggery]] came to acquire all of the martial equipment that used to be sold by [[the Market]] including the [[snorkel]], [[cool whip]], [[studded leather boxer shorts]], [[sweet ninja sword]], [[slingshot]], and [[Kentucky-style derby]].
*On October 31st, 2013, the [[slingshot]] was replaced with [[toy accordion]].
*On February 9, 2015, the Armory and Leggery added a section for utensils.
*The [[eldritch scanner]] was only available during the [[Second Eldritch Incursion]] of 2017.
*On April 1, 2016, the Armory and Leggery added the [[fishin' hat]] with the implementation of the [[Clan Floundry]]. This is no longer in [[Standard]].

==References==
*The shopkeeper's different names refer to a series of jokes which always start out with, "What do you call a man with no arms and no legs..."
::*"...lying in front of a door? '''A:''' Matt."
::*"...hanging from a wall? '''A:''' Art."
::*"...stuck in a mailbox? '''A:''' Bill."
::*"...floating in the water? '''A:''' Bob."
::*"...underneath a car? '''A:''' Jack."
::*"...on a beach? '''A:''' Sandy."
::*"...with fifty rabbits stuck up his butt? '''A:''' Warren."
::* "...two men with no arms, no legs, and stuck on top of a window? '''A:''' Kurt 'n Rod."

[[Category:Locations|Armory and Leggery, The]]
[[Category:NPC Stores|Armory and Leggery, The]]