View source for Uncle Crimbo's Mobile Home (2007)

{{Retired}}
'''Uncle Crimbo's Mobile Home''' was located in [[Crimbo Town (2007)]] at [[The Big Mountains]]:

'''On December 12th'''
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[[Image:unclecrimbo.gif]]
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Ah, it's about time you showed up, kid. Listen, I've got a real problem here, and unless you help me out, I'm going to have to cancel Crimbo this year. The ship that crashed over here is full of freakin' alien cyborgs, or something! They took over my workshop, kidnapped Rudolph the Red, and turned all of my elves into killer elfbots. Not only that, but they're up to no good in that ship over there -- I can hear 'em welding and doing god-knows-what at all hours of the day and night.

If you want to put the hurt on 'em, I can probably make some toys out of whatever you can pull off of 'em. I studied their technology, and I -- well, it didn't make a damn bit of sense to me, kid, but the reindeer did some reverse-engineering on it.

If you're lookin' to get in, they hide the key underneath the doormat. Can't miss it, kid.
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'''Upon defeating Father Crimbo'''
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[[Image:unclecrimbo.gif]]
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Holy cow, kid, I didn't know you had it in you! So my brother was behind the whole thing, huh? That figures -- every time I tried to get ahead in life, he was always there to one-up me. I'm pretty impressed you chose me over him, kid, all things considered. I kind of figured I'd screwed up Crimbo like I've screwed up everything else, and you'd jump at the chance to have me out of here.

You say you didn't have a choice? Well, that's sweet, kid, that you believed so strongly in me that you felt like it wasn't even a choice. Have a Happy Crimbo, kid, you earned it.
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'''After having defeated Father Crimbo'''
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[[Image:unclecrimbo.gif]]
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Hey, kid. Thanks again for saving Crimbo from my brother and his Crimborg. Tell ya what I'll do -- you bring some toy parts to me, and I'll assemble them for you, free of charge. You earned it, kid.

Oh, hey, there are still a few creepy elfborgs in the workshop, though. Would you mind taking 'em out for me, kid?
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===[[Crimborg Toymaking]]===
Bring back toy parts from the [[Crimbo Town Toy Factory (2007)|Toy Factory]], and [[Uncle Crimbo]] will make toys for you.
*{{ListItem|monomolecular yo-yo}} (1 [[theoretical string]] + 1 [[toy hoverpad]])
*{{ListItem|gyroscope}} (1 [[LED block]] + 1 [[toy hoverpad]])
*{{ListItem|buckyball}} (1 [[synthetic stuffing]] + 1 [[nanofiber cloth]])
*{{ListItem|mylar scout drone}} (1 [[theoretical string]] + 1 [[nanofiber cloth]])
*{{ListItem|Bulky Buddy Box (hatchling)}} (1 [[iGoogly]] + 1 [[LED block]])
*{{ListItem|stuffed gray blob}} (1 [[synthetic stuffing]] + 1 [[iGoogly]])
*{{ListItem|teddy borg}} (2 {{plural|iGoogly}} + 4 {{plural|synthetic stuffing}} + 2 {{plural|nanofiber cloth}})
*{{ListItem|roboduck-on-a-string}}  (1 [[theoretical string]] + 2 {{plural|iGoogly}} + 2 {{plural|LED block}} + 2 {{plural|toy hoverpad}})
*{{ListItem|toy deathbot}} (2 {{plural|iGoogly}} + 3 {{plural|LED block}})
*{{ListItem|Dollhive}} (3 {{plural|nanofiber cloth}} + 4 {{plural|LED block}})
*{{ListItem|toy maglev monorail}} (2 {{plural|theoretical string}} + 3 {{plural|LED block}} + 6 {{plural|toy hoverpad}})
*{{ListItem|Marionette collective}} (2 {{plural|theoretical string}} + 2 {{plural|iGoogly}} + 2 {{plural|LED block}})
*{{ListItem|borg sock monkey}} (2 {{plural|iGoogly}} + 3 {{plural|synthetic stuffing}} + 1 [[nanofiber cloth]])
*{{ListItem|cyborg doll}} (2 {{plural|iGoogly}} + 3 {{plural|synthetic stuffing}} + 2 {{plural|nanofiber cloth}})

===Toymaking Text===
* ''If you don't have the items required:''
*:C'mon kid, you do your job so I can do mine. I can't make you any toys unless you bring me some parts, and if you don't take out those cyborg freaks, there's no Crimbo for anybody. You want that restin' on your conscience?

* ''Successful toymaking:''
*:Man, this stuff is freaky. I don't trust technology, kid. Give me a good old-fashioned cigar, a good old-fashioned Old Fashioned, and a roaring fire any day of the week. I don't need it to play music, make phone calls, and do my laundry, you know? Here ya go, kid.

===Toymaking with Old Parts===
Hey, I see you're still lugging around some of our old toy parts. I suppose I can put them together for you, if you want.

'''You have the following toy parts:'''
<br>X [[rock (crimbo)|rock]]
<br>X [[stringy sinew]]
<br>X [[stick]]
<br>X [[tooth]]
<br>X [[spooky length of string]]
<br>X [[evil googly eye]]
<br>X [[spooky stuffing]]
<br>X [[spooky felt]]
<br>X [[spooky wooden block]]
<br>X [[spooky toy wheel]]
<br>X [[capacitor relay]]
<br>X [[carbon nanotube frame]]
<br>X [[ion grid]]
<br>X [[Feynman gate]]
<br>X [[logic synthesizer]]
<br>X [[high-resistance ultrapolymer plating]]
<br>X [[servomechanical torsion facilitator]]
<br>X [[quantum polarity inducer]]
<br>X [[bi-lateral logic compressor]]
<br>X [[computronic processing unit]]
<br>X [[reverse-oscillating klystron]]
<br>X [[sub-molecular interocitor]]
<br>X [[recursive spline reticulator]]
<br>X [[atomic vector plotter]]
<br>X [[ion-pulse modulation stabilizer]]
<br>X [[hyperbolic plasma focuser]]
<br>X [[length of string]]
<br>X [[googly eye|google eye]]
<br>X [[stuffing]]
<br>X [[felt]]
<br>X [[wooden block]]
<br>X [[toy wheel]]

'''With that, I can make the following:'''

''Anything that could be made on previous Crimbos (see above -- not including the Crimboween recipe for the Pet Rock).''

{{button|Assemble!}}

===Toymaking Text===
*''Successful toymaking with standard parts'':
*:Aw, man, this takes me way back. Back to when those no-good elves thought they were too good to be workin' in the factory, that is. Here's your toy, kid -- I do everything else around here, why shouldn't I make all the toys?
*''Successful toymaking with prehistoric parts'':
*:Wow, kid, you sure know how to give me a challenge. I mean, look at this thing! It's so easy, a caveman could make it!<br/><br/>Oh, great. Listen, don't tell anyone I said that, okay? The last thing I need is another damn lawsuit.
*''Successful toymaking with spooky parts'':
*:Ah, the memories, kid. Did I tell you about that hot little hula dancer I met while I was on that tropical island? Never mind, never mind, I'll tell you when you're older. Anyway, here's your scary toy. Don't let it give you nightmares, kid.
*''Successful toymaking with [[Uncle Crimborg's Hive|Crimborg Collective]] parts'':
*:This is some wild, freaky, futuristic stuff, isn't it? Be careful with this crap, kid, and don't hurt yourself.

==References==
*Father Crimbo is a play on "Father Christmas", a traditional British name for a figure associated with Christmas. Uncle Crimbo is Father Crimbo's neer-do-well brother.
*The quote "It's so easy, a caveman could make it!" is a reference to a Geico car insurance advertising campaign, with the slogan, "It's so easy, a caveman could do it", which was followed by an advertising campaign where cavemen got offended by that statement.