View source for User:AstronautGuy/Mr. Store Analysis/Standard-Restricted Items

This page documents Mr. Store items and similar items that are now [[Standard restrictions|Standard-restricted]], no longer usable in Standard and the current [[special challenge path]], if any. Years are for organizational purposes, everything on this page is "equally" restricted.

__TOC__

==2017==
{| CELLPADDING=4 CELLSPACING=0 BORDER=1 class="sortable"
|-
! width="5%" | Month
! class="unsortable" width="10%" | Item
! class="unsortable" width="15%" | Summary
! class="unsortable" | Description
|- 
| data-sort-value="0" | Item of the Year
| align="center" | {{StackItem|hopeful candle}}<br>Hatches into<br>{{StackItem|Optimistic Candle}}
|
* Fairy and Volleyball combo
* Sometimes drops a [[glob of melted wax]], which has many uses
| A familiar that increases Item Drops like a Fairy and stat gains like a Volleyball after combat.

After 5 combats in an Ascension, and every 30 combats after that, drops a [[glob of melted wax]] after combat. When used as a combat item, it stuns and deals {{element|Hot|}} damage while the monster is stunned. It can also be used to produce another item.
*[[miniature candle]]: Off-hand, gives +3 Stats per fight and +20% Item Drops, and disappears after Rollover
*[[wax hand]]: Accessory, gives +40 maximum HP and +25% Weapon Damage
*[[wax face]]: Accessory, gives +20 maximum MP and +25% Spell Damage
*[[wax pancake]]/[[wax booze]]: Size-2 awesome food/booze, gives 30 turns of [[Waxing|+100% maximum HP, +50% maximum MP, and +50% Initiative]]
|-
| data-sort-value="1" | January
| align="center" | {{StackItem|space planula}}<br>Hatches into<br>{{StackItem|Space Jellyfish}}
| 
* Delevels foes before combat and sometimes ensures Initiative
* Produces jelly, stat-giving spleen items with various benefits including a [[hot jelly|banish]], [[spooky jelly|pseudo-YR]], and [[stench jelly|forcing non-combats]]
* Has additional functions in underwater and cosmic locations
| An aquatic familiar that delevels monsters like a [[Barrrnacle]] at the start of every combat, and sometimes guarantees Initiative at the start of combat, effectively ensuring the jump at 20 pounds or greater.

Provides the combat skill [[Extract Jelly]] (0 MP), usable once per combat to sometimes produces a jelly when used against elemental monsters. The first extraction per day on a valid monster always succeeds, with the rate of success decreasing for each jelly collected that day. Jellies are size-1 spleen items that give some substats and 50 turns of an effect, which gives +5 elemental damage, an attribute boost, and increased stat gains after fights or Item Drops. Jellies also cook with [[toast]] to produce a size-1 good food that gives 25 turns of the respective effect. Each jelly or toast with jelly consumed also gives one use of an activatable "benefit" for that day, depending on the element.
*{{element|hot|}} [[hot jelly|jelly]]: [[Hot Jellied|+3 Muscle Stats per fight, +5 Hot Damage, +30% Muscle]]. Gives one use of [[Breathe Out]], a combat skill (0 MP) that is a free runaway and 20-turn banish.
*{{element|cold|}} [[cold jelly|jelly]]: [[Cold Jellied|+3 Mysticality Stats per fight, +5 Cold Damage, +30% Mysticality]]. Causes the next booze drank to also produce one base booze per potency.
*{{element|stench|}} [[stench jelly|jelly]]: [[Stench Jellied|+30% Item Drops, +5 Stench Damage, +10% to all attributes]]. Effectively sets Combat Frequency to 0% until encountering a non-combat, somewhat like [[Clara's bell]], but does not work on scheduled non-combats.
*{{element|spooky|}} [[spooky jelly|jelly]]: [[Spooky Jellied|+5 Stats per fight, +5 Spooky Damage, +10% to all attributes]]. Causes the next combat won to drop all of its non-conditional items, like a [[Yellow ray strategy|Yellow Ray]], but without the [[Everything Looks Yellow|cooldown]] or instakill.
*{{element|sleaze|}} [[sleaze jelly|jelly]]: [[Sleazy Jellied|+3 Moxie Stats per fight, +5 Sleaze Damage, +30% Moxie]]. Gives a 10% discount on the next NPC store item purchased.

In underwater combats only, increases stat gains like a Volleyball and Item Drops like a Fairy. It also adds extra interactions to undersea and space-related areas, such as a [[Space Directions|choice to fight a specific monster]] in [[The Hole in the Sky]], and [[sea jelly]], a size-1 spleen item that gives 10 turns of [[Fishy]], [[Approach the Jellyfish|harvestable once per day]] in [[The Sea]].
|-
| data-sort-value="2" | February
| align="center" | {{StackItem|heart-shaped crate}}
| 
* Daily excursion through [[The Tunnel of L.O.V.E.]]
* Three scaling free fights and full HP and MP restoration
* A variety of stat-gains-improving equipment, effects, and souvenirs
* True LOV?
| Permanently allows access to and allows one visit per day through [[The Tunnel of L.O.V.E.]], in the [[Wrong Side of the Tracks]]. 

A trip through the Tunnel consists of a total of three scaling free fights alternated with three choices.
* [[LOV Enforcer]], an optional free fight
** If defeated using only regular weapon attack damage, drops [[LOV Elixir 3|LOV Elixir #3]] ([[The Power of LOV|40 turns of +40 Muscle, +50% Weapon Damage, +15% Critical Hit Chance]])
* [[L.O.V. Equipment Room|A choice of "E"-quipment]] (all disappear after Rollover):
** [[LOV Eardigan]]: 100-power shirt, +25% Muscle stat gains, +8-12 HP regeneration, +25 Monster Level
** [[LOV Epaulettes]]: Back item, +25% Mysticality stat gains, +4-6 MP regeneration, -3 MP cost for combat skills
** [[LOV Earrings]]: Accessory, +25% Moxie stat gains, +3 Resistance to All Elements, +50% Meat Drops
* [[LOV Engineer]], an optional free fight
** If defeated using only spell damage, drops [[LOV Elixir 6|LOV Elixir #6]] ([[The Magic of LOV|40 turns of +25 Mysticality, +100% Spell Damage, +15% Critical Spell Chance]])
* [[L.O.V. Emergency Room|A choice of a 50-turn effect]]:
** [[Lovebotamy|+10 Stats per fight]]
** [[Open Heart Surgery|+10 Familiar Weight]]
** [[Wandering Eye Surgery|+50% Item Drops]]
* [[LOV Equivocator]], an optional free fight
** If pickpocketed, may drop [[LOV Elixir 9|LOV Elixir #9]] ([[The Moxie of LOV|40 turns of +25 Moxie, +50% Ranged Damage, +50% Initiative]])
* [[L.O.V. Emporium|A choice of a Gift Item souvenir]]:
** [[LOV Enamorang]]: Combat item, staggers and creates a wandering copy of the monster that appears 15 turns later
** [[LOV Emotionizer]]: Usable on players to place hearts around their next three chat messages
** [[LOV Extraterrestrial Chocolate]]: Consumable item, gives 3 Adventures, fewer for each chocolate used that day
** [[LOV Echinacea Bouquet]]: Size-1 spleen item, gives some substats and restores HP and MP
** [[LOV Elephant]]: Shield, gives +16 Damage Reduction
** Two {{plural|toast}} (if owning a [[Space Jellyfish]])

The first two choices will also fully restore HP and MP. Each encounter in the Tunnel is immediately succeeded by the next in the sequence, and the entire trip does not take any Adventures, even if losing or running from a free fight. 

Using a [[LOV Entrance Pass]] allows for a one-time trip through the Tunnel, for players without permanent access.
|- 
| data-sort-value="3" | March
| align="center" | {{StackItem|unpowered Robortender}}<br>Hatches into<br>{{StackItem|Robortender}}
| 
* Leprechaun, sometimes gives PvP Fights and cocktail ingredients
* Drinks made from these ingredients give phylum-based effects
* Can consume its own drinks to gain new abilities for the day
| A familiar that increases Meat Drops like a Leprechaun, and sometimes gives a PvP Fight or cocktail ingredient after combat. The first combat per day with this familiar always drops a cocktail ingredient.

The kind of cocktail ingredient dropped is determined by [[Monster Types]]. Dudes, Beasts, Undead, and Constructs drop [[Nash Crosby's Still|basic booze and mixers]] more frequently, while other Monster Types will drop unique garnishes in addition to basic ingredients. The unique garnishes mix with a basic booze to produce a size-1 "lesser" booze that gives 40 turns of an effect based on the garnish. Adding a mixer to this drink produces a size-1 "greater" booze, improving the quality and effect. Most lesser drinks are good quality and upgrade to awesome quality, with some lesser drinks being awesome quality, upgrading to EPIC equality.

Robortender drinks can also be given to the familiar to grant it additional abilities for that day, with a unique ability for each garnish. A greater drink's ability is stronger than and will override that of the corresponding lesser drink. There is a daily limit of 5 abilities gained through drinks. 

Some possibly useful garnishes and their drink effects and familiar abilities:
* [[pickled grasshopper]] (Bugs): +50%/+100% Initiative, familiar gives +3/+5 Muscle stats after combat
* [[cocktail mushroom]] (Goblins): +25%/+50% Item Drops, familiar gives +3/+5 Moxie stats after combat
* [[pile of dirt]] (Plants): +50%/+100% Meat Drops, familiar gives +3/+5 Mysticality stats after combat
* [[bottle of anís]] (Constellations): +50%/+100% MP, familiar increases Item Drops like a Fairy with 0.5×/1× weight
* [[fish head]] (Penguins): +20/+40 {{element|Cold|}} Damage and {{element|Cold|}} Spell Damage, familiar's Leprechaun effect gains a 1.5×/2× weight multiplier
* [[baby oil shooter]] (Orcs): +20/+40 {{element|Sleaze|}} Damage and {{element|Sleaze|}} Spell Damage, familiar restores HP after combat
* [[imaginary lemon]] (Weird): +20/+40 Monster Level, familiar delevels like a Barrrnacle before some/all combats

This familiar's specific familiar equipment, [[toggle switch (Bartend)]], increases the frequency of cocktail ingredient drops. It can be toggled to [[toggle switch (Bounce)|(Bounce)]], to instead increase the frequency of extra PvP Fights. Both items also grant +5 Familiar Weight.

'''Path Exclusive:''' In [[Gelatinous Noob]], when absorbed, some of the garnishes from this familiar grant non-combat skills that give effects that increase or decrease Combat Frequency by 5% each. These skills are not [[Welcome to the Kingdom, Gelatinous Noob|remembered from past runs]] to start with in new Gelatinous Noob runs. 
{| CELLPADDING=1 CELLSPACING=3
| -5% [[Bendable Knees|Combat]] [[Retractable Toes|Frequency]] [[Ink Gland|skills]]:
| +5% [[Frown Muscles|Combat]] [[Anger Glands|Frequency]] [[Powerful Vocal Chords|skills]]:
|-
| 
* [[bottle of gregnadigne]] (Humanoids)
* [[cocktail mushroom]] (Goblins)
* [[shot of granola liqueur]] (Hippies)
|
* [[bottle of novelty hot sauce]] (Demons)
* [[limepatch]] (Pirates)
* [[baby oil shooter]] (Orcs)
|}
|-
| data-sort-value="4" | April
| align="center" | {{StackItem|Spacegate access badge}}
| 
* [[Through the Spacegate|Planetary exploration]] in the vast void of space
* One daily [[Spacegate Fabrication Facility|vaccination buff]]
* The potential for [[primitive alien booze|buff-extending booze]]
* See also: [[Spacegate Operations Handbook and Wildlife Guide]]
| Allows permanent access to the [[Secret Underground Spacegate Facility]], in [[The Big Mountains]].

Once per day, [[Through the Spacegate|allows 20 Adventures of exploration in a procedurally-generated planet]], from a 7-letter seed. Each planet will vary in danger, inhabitants, and potential discoveries. Depending on the environmental hazards in a planet, certain safety equipment must be worn, also [[Equipment Requisition|rentable for free]] by the Facility.

Possibly useful planet coordinates (one notable encounter, most other encounters are skippable):
*TFHSXKK: [[Paradise Under a Strange Sun|Gain 1000 Moxie substats]]
*ZXTQUVY: [[Interstellar Trade|A choice to exchange 16,300 Meat]] (does not use an Adventure) for [[primitive alien booze]], a size-5 good booze that extends the duration of up to 10 effects by 5 Adventures

Items from exploration can be turned in for {{plural|Spacegate Research}}, used to [[Spacegate Fabrication Facility|fabricate various items]] and permanently unlock [[Spacegate Vaccination Machine|vaccinations]]. One vaccination can be received per day, and each one gives 30 turns of an effect:
*[[Rainbow Vaccine|+3 Resistance to All Elements]]
*[[Broad-Spectrum Vaccine|+50% to all attributes]]
*[[Emotional Vaccine|+30 Monster Level]]

Using a [[portable Spacegate]] also allows 20 Adventures of exploration through the Spacegate, but in a random planet and only until Rollover, for players without permanent access. The rest of the Facillity will also be unavailable.
|-
| data-sort-value="5" | May
| align="center" | {{StackItem|New-You Club Membership Form}}<br>(Correspondence item)
| 
* Produces a Daily Affirmation and focus project each day
* Affirmations are long-lasting potions and also function as combat items
* One [[Affirmation Cookie|cookie]] per Ascension, with potential for more
* Positive thinking and positive titles
| Sets up a correspondence with the New-You Club to deliver one of the following Daily Affirmations every day. Affirmations are potions that give 100 turns of an effect, and are also combat items. When not in Aftercore, the Affirmation given is pre-determined based on class, path, and day, otherwise it will be random.
* [[Daily Affirmation: Adapt to Change Eventually|Adapt to Change Eventually]]: [[Adapt to Change Eventually|+4 Stats per Fight and +50% Initiative]]
** Combat: [[Monster Changing|Changes the monster into a random monster.]]
* [[Daily Affirmation: Always be Collecting|Always be Collecting]]: [[Always be Collecting|+50% Item Drops and +100% Meat Drops]]
** Combat: Staggers, and after combat, drops an additional copy of every item that dropped.
* [[Daily Affirmation: Be a Mind Master|Be a Mind Master]]: [[Be a Mind Master|+100% Spell Damage and +10-20 MP regeneration]]
** Combat: Runaway and 80-turn banish.
* [[Daily Affirmation: Be Superficially interested|Be Superficially interested]]: [[Become Superficially interested|-5% Combat Frequency]], togglable to [[Become Intensely interested|+5% Combat Frequency]]
** Combat: Adds three copies of the monster to its location, affected normally by [[Adventure Queue|Queue rejection]], for 80 turns. Does not stack with [[On the Trail]].
* [[Daily Affirmation: Keep Free Hate in your Heart|Keep Free Hate in your Heart]]: [[Keep Free Hate in your Heart|+30 Monster Level and +10 Damage Absorption]]
** Combat: Delevels the monster and once per day, gives 3 PvP Fights.
* [[Daily Affirmation: Think Win-Lose|Think Win-Lose]]: [[Think Win-Lose|+50% to all Attributes]]
** Combat: Instakills the monster and makes the combat a free fight.
* [[Daily Affirmation: Work For Hours a Week|Work For Hours a Week]]: [[Work For Hours a Week|+5 Familiar Weight and +10-20 HP regeneration]]
** Combat: Produces Meat based on the monster's total stats multiplied by 14, up to a maximum of 11,111 Meat.

In addition to the Daily Affirmation, the New-You Club also sends a suggested self-improvement exercise, involving casting a combat skill against a certain monster for a number of combats. The combat skill will be chosen randomly from the player's available skills, and the monster from a currently accessible zone. Completing this side project will award one permanent VIP membership point and an [[Affirmation Cookie]] upon receiving the next daily correspondence. 

Cookies are size-1 foods that give 1 Adventure, and an additional 2 Adventures and 30 of each substat for each cookie eaten in the current Ascension, capped at 4. Only one cookie can be consumed per day.

With 7 or greater VIP membership points, the New-You Club includes one Affirmation Cookie with the Daily Affirmation at the start of new Ascensions.

With 21 or greater VIP membership points, the New-You Club grants the [[Incredible Self-Esteem]] non-combat skill (10 MP), usable once per day. When cast, this skill gives 50 turns of a random Affirmation effect, or extends the duration of active Affirmation effects by 50 turns, divided by the number of active Affirmations and rounded down.

Every 30 VIP membership points grants a randomized, positive custom title.
|-
| data-sort-value="6" | June
| align="center" | {{StackItem|suspicious package}}<br>Contains<br>{{StackItem|Kremlin's Greatest Briefcase}}<br>(Auto-pulled)
| 
* An all-purpose accessory
* Three [[KGB tranquilizer dart|banishes]] and martinis per day
* Adjustable enchantments
* Gold mine of espionage
* See also: [http://noblesse-oblige.org/ezandora/briefcase/index.html Briefcase instruction manual]
| An accessory with the following enchantments:
* +10 to all attributes
* +25 maximum HP/MP
* +25% Weapon Damage
* +25% Initiative
* +5-10 HP/MP regeneration

When equipped, grants the [[KGB tranquilizer dart]] combat skill (0 MP), a free runaway and 20-turn banish, usable three times per day.

Each day, provides 11 "clicks", with one or more clicks used per manipulation of the briefcase.

Activating an actuator uses one click and gives a random 10-turn KGB effect, or adds additional functions to the briefcase. Briefcase modifications are kept through Rollover, but reset upon Ascension.

Some possibly useful KGB effects:
* [[License to Punch|+100%]] [[Thunderspell|to an]] [[Goldentongue|attribute]]
* [[The Living Hitpoints|+100% maximum HP/MP]]
* [[Initiative and Let Die|+50% Initiative]]
* [[Items Are Forever|+50% Item Drops]]
* [[A View to Some Meat|+100% Meat Drops]]
* [[The Spy Who Loved XP|+5 Stats per Fight]]

Additional briefcase functions:
* Drawers (left and right): Each produces 3 {{plural|exploding cigar}} per day, which are instakilling combat items.
* Dispenser: Produces 3 [[basic martini|basic]]/[[improved martini|improved]]/[[splendid martini]]s per day, size-1 good/awesome/EPIC boozes that give 10/20/40 turns of a random KGB effect. Martini quality is determined by the state of the tabs.
* Crank: Allows for an additional 11 clicks per day.
* Tabs: Activating a tab uses three clicks and gives 50 turns of a KGB effect.
* Buttons: Pressing a button uses one click, and either modifies a briefcase enchantment, or adjusts the tabs.
{| CELLPADDING=2 CELLSPACING=2
| colspan="3" | The briefcase starts with the first enchantment in each set. Pressing a button cycles one enchantment with the next or previous one in its list.
|-
|
* +25% Weapon Damage
* +50% Spell Damage
* +5 Prismatic Damage
* +10% Critical Hit Chance
| 
* +25% Initiative
* +100 Damage Absorption
* +5 {{element|Hot|}} Resistance
* +5 {{element|Cold|}} Resistance
* +5 {{element|Spooky|}} Resistance
* +5 {{element|Stench|}} Resistance
* +5 {{element|Sleaze|}} Resistance
| 
* +5-10 HP/MP regeneration
* +5 Adventures at Rollover
* +5 PvP Fights at Rollover
* -5% Combat Frequency
* +5% Combat Frequency
* +25 Monster Level
* -3 MP cost for skills
|}

Solving the series of puzzles in the briefcase permanently unlocks it, allowing it to be opened once per day, producing the following items:
* [[golden gun]]: Usable on players to color their avatar gold until Rollover.
* 3 {{plural|golden gum}}: Usable on players to make their next three chat messages bolded and gold-colored.
* [[tiny plastic golden gundam]]: An accessory that gives +1 Adventure and PvP Fight at Rollover, and +1 to all attributes.

The briefcase is automatically placed in the inventory at the start of every Ascension.

'''Path Exclusive:''' In [[License to Adventure]], the right drawer instead produces a [[can of Minions-Be-Gone]] once per day, which removes some [[Villainous Minion|minions]] from the [[Super Villain's Lair]].
|-
| data-sort-value="7" | July
| align="center" | {{StackItem|LI-11 Motor Pool voucher}}<br>Contains<br>{{StackItem|Asdon Martin keyfob}}<br>(Workshed item)
| 
* Converts food and booze into useful fuel
* Fuel is used for various effects and combat skills
* [[Asdon Martin: Missile Launcher|Item-dropping free kill]] and [[Asdon Martin: Spring-Loaded Front Bumper|periodic free run+banish]]
| Parks an [[Asdon Martin]] in [[Your Workshed]], which can convert food and booze into fuel, yielding about 1 liter per Adventure the item would have given. Only PvP-stealable items that give Adventures and are not sold in NPC stores are eligible for fuel conversion. 

Converting {{plural|loaf of soda bread}} ([[soda water]] + [[wad of dough]]) yields about 6 litres for 120 Meat spent ([[Five Finger Discount|or less]]), or 20 Meat per fuel.

Spending 37 litres of fuel gives 30 turns of one of the following effects:
* [[Driving Obnoxiously]]: +10% Combat Frequency
* [[Driving Stealthily]]: -10% Combat Frequency
* [[Driving Wastefully]]: Improves pressure reduction rate at [[Oil Peak]] by 6.34 µB/Hg per combat (equivalent to an [[oil slick]])
* [[Driving Safely]]: +50 Damage Absorption, +10 Damage Reduction, +1 Resistance to All Elements
* [[Driving Recklessly]]: +25 Monster Level
* [[Driving Quickly]]: +50% Initiative
* [[Driving Intimidatingly]]: -25 Monster Level
* [[Driving Observantly]]: +50% Item Drops, +50% Booze Drops, +50% Meat Drops
* [[Driving Waterproofly]]: Underwater breathing, reduces underwater pressure penalty by 20%, familiar can breathe underwater
Only one of these effects can be active at a time, and can be removed for free at the Workshed.

While in the Workshed, the Asdon Martin grants combat skills, which also cost fuel:
* [[Asdon Martin: Missile Launcher]] (100 Fuel): Instakills the monster, makes the fight a free fight, and causes all of the monster's non-conditional items to drop, like a Yellow Ray without the cooldown. Usable once per day.
* [[Asdon Martin: Bean Bag Cannon]] (10 Fuel): Deals damage and staggers, can be used multiple times per combat.
* [[Asdon Martin: Spring-Loaded Front Bumper]] (50 Fuel): Free runaway and 30-turn banish. While the banish is active, or until Rollover, this skill is disabled.
|-
| data-sort-value="8" | August
| align="center" | {{StackItem|Pocket Meteor Guide}}<br>Grants skill:<br>{{StackItem|Meteor Lore}}
| 
* Three skills in one: [[Micrometeorite|staggers]], [[Macrometeorite|swaps]], and [[Meteor Shower|superpowers]]
* Meteoric encounters after combats
| Grants the combat skills [[Micrometeorite]], [[Macrometeorite]], and [[Meteor Shower]]. Each meteor skill costs 0 MP and may be used once per fight.
* Micrometeorite: Staggers and delevels. The delevel starts at 25%, and decreases by 1% each time using this skill that day, to a minumum of 10%.
* Macrometeorite: [[Monster Changing|Replaces the monster with a different monster in its zone]], respecting banishes and other factors in the [[Adventure Queue]]. This is considered a separate combat, refreshing "once per combat" actions. Usable up to 10 times per day.
* Meteor Shower: Gives 1 turn of [[Meteor Showered|+200% Weapon and Spell Damage and +20 Familiar Weight]]. This effect is removed after combat, no matter its remaining duration. Usable up to 5 times per day.
Passively causes occasional meteor appearances after combat, which can give 4-6 of a random substat, or +15% Item Drops or +30% Meat Drops for that combat. The meteors can also produce an item, three times per day. For a given combination of class, path, and days played in the run, the items that drop that day will be consistent.
* [[meteoreo]]: Size-1 EPIC food, gives 40 turns of [[Superioreo|+5 Stats per fight and +100% maximum HP]]
* [[meadeorite]]: Size-1 EPIC booze, gives 40 turns of [[Meadulla Oblongota|+5 Stats per fight and +50% maximum MP]]
* [[Meteorite-Ade]]: Usable, gives 5 PvP Fights, limited to three uses per day
* [[metal meteoroid]]: Usable to produce a [[Meteor Metal Machinations|piece of equipment]], including pieces of an [[Meteor Masquerade|outfit]].

This skill also comes with a [[Pocket Meteor Guide (well-thumbed)|free book]].

'''Path Exclusive:''' In [[Live. Ascend. Repeat.]], Macrometeorite uses the monster IDs of monsters in the zone to determine the new monster instead of the Adventure Queue, making the skill's results more predictable.
|- 
| data-sort-value="9" | September
| align="center" | {{StackItem|corked genie bottle}}<br>Contains:<br>{{StackItem|genie bottle}}<br>(Auto-pulled)
| 
* [[Rubbed it the Right Way|Three wishes per day]]
* Wishing for fights, effects, stats, and more
| Grants three wishes per day, [[Rubbed it the Right Way|depending on what is asked]].
* I wish <code>I was rich</code>: Gives 500 Meat per Level, capped at 50,000 Meat at Level 100+.
* I wish <code>I was a little bit taller</code>: Gives up to 300 Muscle substats.
* I wish <code>I had a rabbit in a hat with a bat</code>: Gives up to 300 Mysticality substats.
* I wish <code>I was a baller</code>: Gives up to 300 Moxie substats.
* I wish <code>I was big</code>: Gives up to 123 of each substat.
* I wish <code>I was (effect name)</code>: Gives 20 turns of the named effect, if allowed. Some effects cannot be wished for.
* I wish <code>I had a pony</code>: Gives a random magical pony, a powerful Gift Item.
* I wish <code>to fight (monster name)</code>: Enters combat with the named monster, if allowed. Works for most copiable monsters and [[The Sorceress' Tower (The Stairs)|old tower monsters]]. Limited to 3 fight wishes per day.
* I wish <code>for more wishes</code>: Gives a [[pocket wish]], a tradeable item that allows for one wish, using the same syntax here. 
* I wish <code>you were free</code>: Enters combat with the [[Genie]], a scaling monster that drops a [[dropped scrap of paper]], which autosells for 1001 Meat.
* I wish <code>blessed rustproof +2 gray dragon scale mail</code>: Gives [[blessed rustproof +2 gray dragon scale mail]], a 150-power shirt that gives +2 to all attributes, +2 Resistance to All Elements, and +2-22 HP/MP Regeneration, and is an excellent addition to any ascension kit.

The bottle is automatically placed in the inventory at the start of every Ascension per the previous incarnation's wishes.
|-
| data-sort-value="10" | October
| align="center" | {{StackItem|xo-skeleton-in-a-box}}<br>Hatches into<br>{{StackItem|XO Skeleton}}
| 
* Fairy and Ghoul Whelp combo
* Item stealing and deleveling
* Sometimes drops {{plural|X}} and {{plural|O}} after combat, exchangeable for various items
| A familiar that increases Item Drops like a Fairy and sometimes restores HP and MP like a Ghoul Whelp after combat. 

Provides the combat skill [[Hugs and Kisses!]] (0 MP), which delevels by 10, and steals an item the first time it is used per combat, if possible. This skill becomes unusable for the day after stealing 11 items that day.

Drops an [[X]] after the first combat in an Ascension and every 9 combats after that, and drops an [[O]] after the sixth combat and every 9 combats after that. Xes and Os are currency for the [[XO Shop]], which sells for the following items:
* [[pair of candy glasses]] (2 O): Potion, gives 10 turns of [[Sucrose-Colored Glasses|+50% Item Drops]]
* [[temporary X tattoos]] (2 X): Potion, gives 100 turns of [[Straight-Edgy|Straight-Edgy]]; if active at Rollover, this effect is lost and gives 4.5 Adventures per unused Drunkenness
* [[Hide-rox™ cookie]] (3 O): Size-1 awesome food, gives 30 turns of [[Broken Bone Nubs|+50% Mysticality, +25 maximum MP, and +25% Spell Damage]]
* [[jug of booze]] (3 X): Size-1 awesome booze, gives 30 turns of [[Booze Goozles|+50% Moxie, +25% Initiative, and +25% Ranged Damage]]
* [[glyph of athleticism]] (5 O): Size-1 spleen item, gives 50 turns of [[Turn On, Tune In, Play Ball!|+50% Muscle, +50 maximum HP, and +25% Weapon Damage]]
* [[pair of scissors]] (1 X, 2 O): Combat item, removes 10% of the monster's current HP
* [[new habit]] (31 X): Potion, gives 365 turns of [[Habituated]], which grants the combat skill [[A New Habit]] (0 MP), usable once per fight to give 3 substats per Level to a random attribute and remove one turn of the effect
* [[bridge truss]] (23 X): Adds 15 sections toward [[The Orc Chasm|bridge building]]
* [[pearl necklace]] (37 O): Accessory, gives +23 {{element|Sleaze|}} Damage, +37 {{element|Sleaze|}} Spell Damage, +69% Moxie, and disappears upon Ascension
|-
| data-sort-value="11" | November
| align="center" | {{StackItem|pantogram}}<br>Contains<br>{{StackItem|portable pantogram}}<br>(Auto-pulled)
| 
* One pants summoning per day
* Attribute boost and elemental resistance
* A wide variety of other enchantments, at a cost
| [[Pantagramming|Allows pants summoning]] once per day, which produces [[pantogram pants]], 100-power pants that have varying enchantments, and disappear after Rollover. The enchantments are determined by choosing an attribute, element, and three different sacifices. Some possibly useful sacrifice options are listed. There are other sacrifice options, but these have less utility in-run and/or require items that are less readily available in-run.
* +10 to the chosen attribute
* +2 Resistance to the chosen element
* Sacrifice #1: Gives HP/MP-related bonuses
** Drops of blood (no cost): +40 maximum HP
** Nail clippings (no cost): +20 maximum MP
** [[bubblin' crude]]: +5-15 MP regeneration
** [[baconstone]]: -3 MP cost for skills
* Sacrifice #2: Gives mostly Item Drop/Meat Drop/stat gain bonuses
** Hopes (no cost): +20 Weapon Damage
** Dreams (no cost): +20% Spell Damage
** [[taco shell]]: +30% Meat Drops
** [[porquoise]]: +60% Meat Drops
**3 {{plural|Knob Goblin firecracker}}: +3 Muscle Stats per fight
* Sacrifice #3: Gives miscellaneous bonuses
** Self-respect (no cost): -5% Combat Frequency
** Self-control (no cost): +5% Combat Frequency
** [[bar skin]]: +50% Initiative
** [[hamethyst]]: +10% Critical Hit Chance
** [[ten-leaf clover]]: Occasionally drops [[Summon Hilarious Objects|hilarious objects]] after combat

The pantogram is automatically placed in the inventory at the start of every Ascension.
|-
| data-sort-value="12" | December
| align="center" | {{StackItem|locked mumming trunk}}<br>Contains<br>{{StackItem|mumming trunk}}<br>(Auto-pulled)
| 
* An assortment of extra familiar abilities
* Performances after combat
| Contains costumes that add additional post-combat abilities to the currently active familiar, lasting until Rollover. A familiar can only have one costume worn at a time, and each costume can be applied once per day. Familiar costumes are independent of familiar equipment. A costume may give extra abilities, depending on the type of familiar wearing it.
* The Captain: +15% Meat Drops
** Familiars with hands give +30% Meat Drops
** Undead familiars delevel the monster by 25% at the start of combat
* Beelzebub: Restores 4-5 MP after combat
** Winged familiars restore 8-10 MP after combat
** Hot-themed familiars deal {{element|Hot|}} damage on a weapon hit
* Saint Patrick: +3 Muscle Stats per fight
** Beastly familiars give +4 Muscle Stats per fight
** Toothed familiars stagger at the start of combat
* Prince George: +15% Item Drops
** Clothed familiars give +25% Item Drops
** "Quick" familiars deal physical damage with bleeding on a weapon hit
* Oliver Cromwell: +3 Mysticality Stats per fight
** Familiars with eyes give +4 Mysticality Stats per fight
** "High altitude" familiars guarantee Initiative at the start of combat
* The Doctor: Restores 8-10 HP after combat
** Robotic familiars increase this to 18-20 HP
** "Evil" familiars deal physical damage and delevel by 10% on a weapon hit
* Miss Funny: +2 Moxie Stats per fight
** Sleazy familiars give +4 Moxie Stats per fight
** Insectoid familiars deal {{element|Sleaze|}} damage on a weapon hit
The trunk is automatically placed in the inventory at the start of every Ascension.
|}

==2016==
{| CELLPADDING=4 CELLSPACING=0 BORDER=1 class="sortable"
|-
! width="5%" | Month
! class="unsortable" width="10%" | Item
! class="unsortable" width="15%" | Summary
! class="unsortable" | Description
|- 
| data-sort-value="0" | Item of the Year
| align="center" | {{StackItem|basking robin}}<br>Hatches into<br>{{StackItem|Rockin' Robin}}
| 
*Fairy and Volleyball combo
*Sometimes drops a [[robin's egg]], which has many uses
| A familiar that increases Item Drops like a Fairy and Stat Gains like a Volleyball.

After 5 combats in an Ascension, and every 30 combats after that, drops a [[robin's egg]], which has many uses. As a potion, the robin's egg gives 10 turns of [[Egged On|+3 Resistance to All Elements and +10 Damage Reduction]]. As a combat item, it delevels by 50% and staggers. The egg is also an ingredient for size-2 awesome quality [[robin flan|food]] or [[robin nog|booze]].

The Robin sometimes produces additional minigame-specific items while playing [[Batfellow Begins|Batfellow]].
|-
| data-sort-value="0" | Item of the Year
| align="center" | {{StackItem|Batfellow comic}}<br>(Tradeable)
|
*Plays a dark and brooding minigame
*Consumable rewards
*Opportunity to gain a [[replica bat-oomerang]], which provides three free kills per day
| A usable item that launches a [[Batfellow Begins|Batfellow minigame]], which does not cost any Adventures, and consumes the comic if any villain is defeated. The minigame yields a consumable depending on which villain was defeated first, and has a daily leaderboard which can give further rewards, depending on performance. 

One leaderboard reward is the [[replica bat-oomerang]], a reusable combat item that instantly kills the monster and makes the fight a free fight, usable three times per day.

While the comic is a free pull from Hagnk's, any rewards obtained are sent to Hagnk's.

Completing 20 of these comics causes weekly delivery of a [[special edition Batfellow comic]], which functions identically, but is not tradeable.
|-
| data-sort-value="0" | [[Subscription|SubscriptionBot]]<br>(December 2015 through March 2016)
| align="center" | {{StackItem|Gratitude chocolate (octopus-filled)}}<br>Hatches into<br>{{StackItem|Choctopus}}
|
* Fairy and Ghoul Whelp combo
| A familiar that, after combat, increases Item Drops like a Fairy and has a chance to restore HP and MP like a Ghoul Whelp.
|-
| data-sort-value="1" | January 
| align="center" | {{StackItem|X-32-F snowman crate}}
| 
* 10 free fights per day against a [[X-32-F Combat Training Snowman|growing snowman]]
* 1-2 useful consumables per day
* Training gear (+25% to one attribute, another useful enchantment, and a drawback)
* Masterful martial arts advice
| Allows permanent access to [[The Snojo]], in [[The Big Mountains]]. The Snojo houses a single monster, the [[X-32-F Combat Training Snowman]]. The first 10 victories against the Snowman per day are free fights, and the Snowman gains body segments with each victory that give it increased stats and special abilities. 

The Snowman has [[X-32-F Combat Training Snowman Control Console|3 modes]] for the three attributes, which determine what consumable the Snowman drops every 7th free fight in that mode, and also what training equipment and skillbook drops on the 11th and 50th free fight respectively. Modes can be changed at any time, so it is possible to get 4 varied consumables and 2 pieces of gear in a 3-day run, and more in longer runs.

Muscle Mode:
*[[ancient medicinal herbs]]: A size-1 spleen item that gives 50 turns of [[Ancient Fortitude|+100% maximum HP, +90-100 HP regeneration, and immunity to most negative effects]].
*[[training belt]]: An accessory that gives +25% Muscle, +25 Monster Level, and -50% Weapon Damage.

Mysticality Mode:
*[[ice rice]]: A size-1 EPIC food.
*[[training legwarmers]]: An accessory that gives +25% Mysticality, +5 Resistance to All Elements, and -50% Spell Damage.

Moxie Mode:
*[[iced plum wine]]: A size-1 EPIC booze. 
*[[training helmet]]: A 100-power hat that gives +25% Moxie, +25% Item Drops, and -50% Initiative.
|-
| data-sort-value="2" | February 
| align="center" | {{StackItem|LT&T telegraph office deed}}
| 
* Gives [[your cowboy boots]], which are customizable with a variety of enchantments
* Provides an opportunity to gain [[lion musk|+15% Combat Frequency potions]]
* Wild West adventures
| Allows permanent access to the [[LT&T Office]], which gives [[your cowboy boots]] on the first visit in an Ascension. The boots are an accessory that provides +25 maximum HP/MP, and grants [[Cowboy Kick]], a combat skill (0 MP) that does mild Muscle-based damage and staggers, usable once per combat. 

The boots can be customized with a [[Western-style skinning knife#Notes|Western skin]] and a [[jangly spurs|set of spurs]] for additional enchantments, persisting through Ascension. Replacing the skin or spurs on the boots destroys the previous customization.  
{| CELLPADDING=1 CELLSPACING=3
| Skin options:
| Spurs options:
|- 
|
* +50% Muscle, Mysticality, or Moxie
* +20 Monster Level
* Adds 15% delevel to Cowboy Kick
* Adds {{element|Spooky|}} damage to Cowboy Kick
|
* +20% Item Drops
* +30% Initiative
* +2 Resistance to All Elements
* +5 Adventures at Rollover
* Adds {{element|Hot|}}, {{element|Stench|}}, or {{element|Sleaze|}} damage to Cowboy Kick
|}

Also provides 30-turn quests via {{plural|plaintive telegram}}, which reward {{plural|buffalo dime}}. Choosing the Wagon Train Escort Wanted (hard) quest allows access to [[mountain lion]]s, which can drop [[lion musk]], a potion that gives 20 turns of [[Lion in Ambush|+15% Combat Frequency]].

Using an [[inflatable LT&T telegraph office]] also grants one telegram quest, but will not provide your cowboy boots, for players without permanent access. 

'''Path exclusive:''' In [[Avatar of West of Loathing]], acquiring your cowboy boots also gives 3 {{plural|buffalo dime}}, which can be spent at the Office Gift Shop.
|-
| data-sort-value="3" | March 
| align="center" | {{StackItem|Witchess Set}}<br>(Campground item)
| 
*[[Play against the Witchess Pieces|5 daily free fights and opportunities for strong consumables and powerful gear]]
*[[Puzzle Champ|Daily familiar weight buff]] that increases by solving puzzles
*Challenge other players (or the World) to [[Play Witchess|Witchess]]
*See also: [http://forums.kingdomofloathing.com/vb/showthread.php?t=225223 Defeating Witchess pieces guide]
| Provides 5 free fights per day against [[Play against the Witchess Pieces|8 different scaling monsters]]. Each monster drops either a useful consumable or strong rentable equipment: 
*[[Witchess Pawn|Pawn]]: [[armored prawn]] (size-1 spleen item): 30-50 of each substat and 50 turns of [[Rushtacean'|+50% Initiative]]
*[[Witchess Knight|Knight]]: [[jumping horseradish]] (size-1 EPIC food): 50 turns of [[Kicked in the Sinuses|+100% Meat Drops]]
*[[Witchess Bishop|Bishop]]: [[Sacramento wine]] (size-1 EPIC booze): 50 turns of [[Sacré Mental|+50% Item Drops]]
*[[Witchess Rook|Rook]]: [[Greek fire]] (potion): 25 turns of [[Sweetbreads Flambé|+25 Monster Level and +10 Stats per fight]]
*[[Witchess Ox|Ox]]: [[ox-head shield]] (shield): +26 Damage Reduction, +2 Resistance to All Elements, +100 HP, never fumble, +8 PvP Fights at Rollover
*[[Witchess King|King]]: [[dented scepter]] (1-handed club): +5 Muscle Stats per fight, +5-10 HP regeneration, +50% Muscle, +50% Weapon Damage, +10% Critical Hit Chance
*[[Witchess Witch|Witch]]: [[battle broom]] (accessory): +5 Mysticality Stats per fight, +5-10 MP regeneration, +50% Mysticality, +100% Spell Damage, +10% Critical Spell Chance
*[[Witchess Queen|Queen]]: [[very pointy crown]] (200-power hat): +5 Moxie Stats per fight, +5 Adventures at Rollover, +50% Moxie, -5% Combat Frequency, is a crossbow
Compared to the consumable-dropping monsters, the monsters that drop gear have much more HP, stagger immunity, partial damage resistance, and possibly other immunities, requiring more effort to defeat. 

In addition to the free fights, provides 5 daily puzzles. Solving all 5 grants 25 turns of a [[Puzzle Champ|familiar weight buff]], with a minimum of +5 Familiar Weight, and increases by +1 per 5 puzzles solved to a maximum of +20. When all puzzles are solved, viewing the puzzles immediately provides the effect, without having to solve them. Also allows for playing as White in [[Play Witchess|Witchess]], a Chess variant.
|-
| data-sort-value="4" | April 
| align="center" | {{StackItem|Clan Floundry}}<br>(VIP Lounge)
| 
* Rentable gear (1/day)
* +50%/+100% to one attribute
* +/- 10% [[Combat Frequency]]
* Various other enchantments, and potentially some quest-related items
| [[#VIP Lounge|(More details in the VIP Lounge section on this page)]]
|-
| data-sort-value="5" | May
| align="center" | {{StackItem|disconnected intergnat}}<br>Hatches into<br>{{StackItem|Intergnat}}
| 
*Fairy with random abilities each combat, including attacking, MP restoration, and scientific skills
*Drops [[BACON]] after combat, which can be exchanged for various items, including [[viral video|Yellow Ray]] and [[print screen button|copying]] combat items
*Helps with [[Summoning Chamber|demon summoning]]
*Memes and internet points
| A familiar that increases [[Items from Monsters]] like a Fairy and drops [[BACON]] after combat, which is used as currency at the [[Internet Meme Shop]]. Also applies a random modifier to monsters in combat, affecting the Intergnat:
*NAMED NEIL: Attacks every round.
*WITH TESLA: Restores MP after combat.
*ELDRITCH HORROR: Drops a [[thin black candle]] (6/day) or [[scroll of ancient forbidden unspeakable evil]] (1/day) after combat, or mentions a demon name component (see below).
*WITH BACON: Drops additional BACON after combat, one per round of combat, up to five.
*WITH SCIENCE: Provides scientific combat skills (0 MP). One scientific skill can be used per combat:
**[[Science! Fight with Medicine]]: Staggers and heals 100-200 HP.
**[[Science! Fight with Rational Thought]]: Instakills the opponent, giving 11 turns of [[Rational Thought|-5% Combat Frequency]] and forfeiting item and meat drops.
**[[Science! Fight with Internet Debate]]: Deals {{element|Hot|}} damage and gives 11 turns of [[Internate Debatable|+10 Monster Level]].

The following items are purchased with BACON (1/day for each item):
*[[viral video]] (20 BACON): A [[Yellow ray strategy|Yellow Ray]] combat item (149-turn cooldown).
*[[gallon of milk]] (100 BACON): Size 15 food, gives 70-75 Adventures (~4.83 adv/full), 500 of each substat, and 100 turns of a [[Feeling Queasy|mild debuff]].
*[[print screen button]] (111 BACON): A one-use [[Copying|monster copier]] combat item.
*[[daily dungeon malware]] (150 BACON): A combat item that, when used against a [[Daily Dungeon]] monster, produces a [[fat loot token]]. 
There are other items that are bought with BACON, but these have little in-run use and/or are very difficult to acquire in-run.

The names uttered by the Intergnat after defeating ELDRITCH HORROR-modified monsters are used as part of a demon name for the [[Summoning Chamber]]. This summoning yields:
*25 turns of [[Jacked In|+10% Item Drops, +20% Meat Drops, +30 Weapon Damage, +40 Spell Damage, and +50% Initiative]]
*10 [[BACON]]
*Another level-dependent result:
**Level 11: [[antique machete]], [[tomb ratchet]], and [[cigarette lighter]]
**Level 12: [[star chart]]
**Level 13: 10 turns of [[Speed of the Internet|+50% Initiative]]
**Otherwise: 1000 Meat
|- 
| data-sort-value="6" | June
| align="center" | {{StackItem|Source terminal}}<br>(Campground item)
| 
* Up to 3 daily buffs
* An additional buff gained after Rollover
* Interchangeable skills, including [[Digitize|"wandering-copying"]], [[Duplicate|"monster-doubling"]], [[Portscan|agent summoning]], and [[Turbo|extreme MP restoration]]
* Can provide up to three size-4 EPIC [[browser cookie|food]]/[[hacked gibson|booze]] per day
* Glowy green letters
* Upgradeable
| The [[Source Terminal]] has four programs: '''enhance''', '''enquiry''', '''educate''', and '''extrude'''. Installing Source terminal chips permanently improves these programs. 

'''Enhance''' gives 25 turns of an effect, once per day, chosen from a selection of effects. PRAM and INGRAM chips improve buff duration, while CRAM and SCRAM chips give additional daily Enhances. When fully upgraded, Enhance provides 100 turns of a .enh effect, three times per day.
{| CELLPADDING=2 CELLSPACING=2
|
* [[items.enh]]: +30% Item Drops
* [[meat.enh]]: +60% Meat Drops
* [[init.enh]]: +50% Initiative
|
* [[critical.enh]]: +10% Critical Hit and Spell Chance
* [[damage.enh]]: +5 Prismatic Damage
* [[substats.enh]]: +3 Stats per fight
|}

'''Enquiry''' can be toggled for one of the following effects, giving 50 turns of that effect after Rollover. GRAM and DIAGRAM chips improve the effect duration, up to 200 turns.
* [[familiar.enq]]: +5 Familiar Weight
* [[monsters.enq]]: +25 Monster Level
* [[protect.enq]]: +3 Resistance to All Elements
* [[stats.enq]]: +100% to all attributes

'''Educate''' grants .edu combat skills; only one may be active for use at a time, but the "active" skill may be freely swapped with another skill, just as how inactive Familiars are kept in the Terrarium. These skills have a base cost of 20 MP, and are usable once per combat. SPAM and ASHRAM chips reduce these skills' MP costs to a minimum of 5 MP, and the DRAM chip allows two skills to be "active" simultaneously.
*[[Digitize]]: Staggers and causes wandering copies of that monster to appear, similar to the effects of an [[Obtuse Angel]] and [[Reanimated Reanimator]], but with an increasing and predictable number of turns between copies (7, 20, 30, 40...). Usable once per day, with TRAM and TRIGRAM chips each adding an additional use per day, up to a maximum of three Digitizes. This effect lasts until Rollover or casting Digitize again, which resets the interval between copies.
*[[Extract]]: Produces 1-3 {{plural|Source essence}}. Rarely also produces a Source terminal chip or file, used to unlock features for the Terminal.
*[[Compress]]: Staggers and deals 25% the monster's HP in damage.
*[[Duplicate]]: "Doubles" a copiable monster, doubling its current HP, attack, defense, attacks per round, and possible item drops. Usable once per day.
*[[Portscan]]: Causes a [[Government agent]] (a scaling monster) to be the next encounter. Usable three times per day.
*[[Turbo]]: Staggers, gives 1 turn of [[Turbocharged|+100% maximum MP]], and restores up to 1000 MP. After combat, replaces the effect with 30 turns of [[Overheated|-50% maximum MP, +15 Hot Damage, +15 Damage to Hot Spells]], during which Turbo becomes unusable.

'''Extrude''' uses bits of Source essence to craft various items. Up to three items may be extruded per day. Certain .ext files unlock more items for extruding.
*[[browser cookie]] and [[hacked gibson]] (10 essence each): Size-4 EPIC food and booze respectively, also gives 40-60 to all substats.
*[[Source shades]] (100 essence): An accessory that gives +10% Item Drops and improves Extract to produce 2-6 essence per use. 
*After installing their corresponding .ext file, chips to improve the above functions may be extruded (100 or 1000 essence each). 

'''Path exclusive:''' In [[The Source (path)|The Source]], certain elements of the Terminal work differently. 
*All .edu skills are usable against Agents
*[[Portscan]] instead causes [[Source Agent]]s to appear by having the Agent instakill the next valid monster
*[[Duplicate]] "triples" the monster instead of "doubling" it, and can be used up to five times per day
*[[Browser cookie]]s and {{plural|hacked gibson}} grant normal stat gains, despite the path's restriction

In [[Nuclear Autumn]], the Terminal is available in [[Your Fallout Shelter]], despite the path restricting other Campground items.
|- 
| data-sort-value="7" | July
| align="center" | {{StackItem|detective school application}}
| 
* Gives a [[plastic detective badge|detective]] [[gold detective badge|badge]], an accessory that gives some +HP/MP, Item Drops, and Meat Drops
* Access to size-1 awesome +50 ML [[hardboiled egg|food]]/[[Falcon™ Maltese Liquor|booze]] and a -5% Combat Frequency [[shoe gum|potion]]
* Hardboiled sleuthing
| Allows permanent access to the [[The Precinct|11th Precinct Headquarters]], in [[The Wrong Side of the Tracks]]. Upon visiting the first time in an Ascension, gives a [[plastic detective badge|detective badge]], an accessory that gives +10-40 maximum HP/MP, +5-20% Item Drops, and +15-30% Meat Drops, depending on the badge's number of [[gold detective badge|upgrades]].

The first visit to the Headquarters each day yields 3 {{plural|cop dollar}}, and up to three cases can be attempted each day. Cases are puzzles that do not take Adventures, and upon finishing a case, be it a success or a failure, 3 cop dollars are awarded, allowing for up to 12 cop dollars to be collected each day. Succeeding in a case adds additional cop dollars depending on time spent in the case, but if the King has not been freed yet, these will be held in a pension, to be collected at the Headquarters after the King is freed.

Cop dollars are spent at the [[Precinct Materiel Division]], which sells various items. The following items are the most feasible to purchase in-run:
*[[hardboiled egg]]/[[Falcon™ Maltese Liquor]] ($4): Size-1 awesome quality food/booze, gives 50 turns of [[Too Noir For Snoir|+50 Monster Level]]
*[[shoe gum]] ($10): A potion, gives 50 turns of [[Gummed Shoes|-5% Combat Frequency]]

The detective badge can be permanently upgraded 3 times, each upgrade adding +10 maximum HP/MP, +5% Item Drops, and +5% Meat Drops to the badge's enchantments. Each upgrade costs a [[detective roscoe]] ($50, untradeable), and an increasing number of cop dollars ($50, $200, $400).
|- 
| data-sort-value="8" | August
| align="center" | {{StackItem|DIY protonic accelerator kit}}<br>Contains<br>{{StackItem|protonic accelerator pack}}<br>(Auto-pulled)
| 
* Back item with several handy enchantments
* Ghost <s>combats</s> busting [[Trap Ghost|feels good]]
* Occasional special ghost free fights
* 10 turns of +20% to all attributes, 1/day
| A back item with the following enchantments:
* +25 Damage vs. Ghosts
* +2-20 MP regeneration
* +15% Item Drops
* +10 to all attributes
* +5% Critical Hit Chance
* -5% Combat Frequency
* Allows ghost busting (which feels good)

Against [[:Category:Ghosts|ghosts]], provides the [[Shoot Ghost]] skill (0 MP), which makes their attacks more dangerous. Using this skill three times replaces it with the [[Trap Ghost]] skill (0 MP). Trapping the ghost [[Instakill|instantly defeats]] it, and gives +20 substats for that fight. Defeating ghosts with the pack equipped (trapping or otherwise) yields {{plural|psychokinetic energy blob}}, which restore 20-30 MP each.

The pack occasionally reports paranormal activity in certain locations, with about 50 turns between reports. The next encounter in that location will result in a special ghost fight, which is a free fight. Trapping these ghosts also yields an additional untradeable gear drop.

Once per day, the streams may be crossed with another player wearing a pack, granting 10 turns of [[Total Protonic Reversal|+20% to all attributes]].

The pack is automatically placed in the inventory at the start of every Ascension by the ghost of the previous incarnation.

'''Path exclusive:''' In [[Nuclear Autumn]], the pack will occasionally produce an additional [[rad]] after combat, used to buy path-specific skills.
|-
| data-sort-value="9" | September
| align="center" | {{StackItem|Dear Past Self Package}}<br>Contains<br>{{StackItem|Time-Spinner}}<br>(Auto-pulled)
| 
* Many timely applications
* Monster and food copying, with restrictions
* Stat-rich combats
* One futuristic item fabrication per day
* A reusable staggering and deleveling combat item
| Each day, provides 10 minutes, used to do [[Spinning Your Time-Spinner|various time-related things]].
*[[Travel to a Recent Fight]] (3 minutes, 1 Adventure): Enters combat against a copy of a monster. The monster must be copiable and in the [[Adventure Queue|Combat Queue]] (in any location) to be a valid target for this.
*[[Travel back to a Delicious Meal]] (3 minutes): Eats a food item that was previously eaten that day. The food item must be PvP-stealable to be a valid target for this.
*[[Adventure Way Back in Time]] (1 minute, 1 Adventure): Enters combat against a monster, which gives no stat gains, drops [[compounded experience]] (gives a total of 50 substats per Level, distributed randomly), and has a low chance of dropping time residue.
*[[The Far Future|Visit the Far Future]] (2 minutes): Plays a minigame, in which one item may be fabricated per day. Successfully completing the minigame several times unlocks more items for fabrication.
**[[Unstable Pointy Ears]]: An accessory that gives +3 Stats per fight, and disappears after Rollover.
**[[Shot of Kardashian Gin]]: A size-1 EPIC booze that also gives 3 PvP Fights.
**[[Tea, Earl Grey, Hot]]: A size-1 EPIC beverage that also restores 1000 HP and MP.
*Play a Time Prank (1 minute): Sends a player a prank in the form of a [[time-spinner prank|personal free fight]] that drops [[time residue]]. Players can only encounter pranks if out of Ronin or Hardcore, otherwise the prank will be delayed until that is so.

Using [[time residue]] results in a combat from Way Back in Time. 

The Time-Spinner is usable once per combat, staggering and deleveling by 5%.

The Time-Spinner is automatically placed in the inventory at the start of every Ascension by the future self.
|- 
| data-sort-value="10" | October
| align="center" | {{StackItem|li'l orphan tot}}<br>Hatches into<br>{{StackItem|Trick-or-Treating Tot}}
| 
* Ghoul Whelp, always acts
* Costumes with many enchantments
* Increases [[Trick or Treat!|trick-or-treating]] candy
| A familiar that restores HP and MP like a [[Ghoul Whelp]] after every combat.

Has many exclusive familiar equipments, each having strong enchantments and changing the familiar's appearance:
*[[li'l knight costume|Knight]]: +15 to all attributes
*[[li'l unicorn costume|Unicorn]]: +5 Adventures and +5 PvP Fights at Rollover
*[[li'l candy corn costume|Candy corn]]: +5 Resistance to All Elements (equivalent to 100-pound [[Exotic Parrot]])
*[[li'l ninja costume|Ninja]]: +150% Item Drops (equivalent to ~85-pound Fairy)
*[[li'l pirate costume|Pirate]]: +300% Meat Drops (equivalent to ~85-pound Leprechaun)
*[[li'l clown costume|Clown]]: +15 Stats per fight (equivalent to 65-pound Volleyball)
*[[li'l ghost costume|Ghost]]: +100% Initiative (equivalent to 50-pound [[Oily Woim]])
The knight costume is available from the [[The Cake-Shaped Arena|Arena]], and the unicorn and candy corn costumes are sold in [[The General Store]] for 1000 Meat each. The ninja, pirate, and clown costumes drop from respective monsters, and disappear after Rollover. The ghost costume is available from an [[invisible string|invisible series of events]]. This familiar does not have to be active for costumes to drop.

Having this familiar active when [[Trick or Treat!|trick-or-treating]] doubles candy yields and sometimes replaces a house's results with [[Prunets]], a potion that gives 5 turns of [[She Ate Too Much Candy|increased Familiar Weight, +1 per turn of the effect remaining, up to +25]].

'''Path exclusive:''' In [[Nuclear Autumn]], stores in [[Your Fallout Shelter]] sell more costumes for 1000 Meat each:
*[[li'l eyeball costume|Eyeball]] ([[Fallout Shelter Medical Supply|B2]]): -10% Combat Frequency
*[[li'l robot costume|Robot]] ([[Fallout Shelter Electronics Supply|B4]]): +10 Stats per fight and reduces radiation sickness accumulation
*[[li'l liberty costume|Liberty]] ([[Underground Record Store|B7]]): +100% Item Drops and +200% Meat Drops
The Shelter also sells the candy corn, knight, and unicorn costumes, one in each store.
|-
| data-sort-value="11" | November
| align="center" | {{StackItem|Granny Tood's Thanksgarden Catalog}}<br>Contains<br>{{StackItem|packet of thanksgarden seeds}}<br>(Garden item)
| 
* Grows {{plural|cornucopia}}
* A bountiful harvest of delicious potatoes, {{plural|cashew}}, and other food
* Cashews are exchanged for diverse items
* See also: [http://noblesse-oblige.org/ezandora/thanksgarden/index.html Thanksgarden Calculator]
| Creates [[A Thanksgarden]] in [[The Campground]], which starts with 1 [[cornucopia]], and grows 2 or more each day if not harvested.

Using a cornucopia produces a total of 7 items, including size-1 decent raw foods and 2-5 {{plural|cashew}}. The number of cashews produced is predictable based on class, path, days played in the run, and the number of cornucopias used that day. Raw foods sometimes give 30 turns of [[The Good Salmonella]], which gives +20% to all attributes per level of Fullness. Cashews are [[A traveling Thanksgiving salesman|exchanged]] for various items:

1 cashew each:
* [[glass casserole dish]]: 100-power shirt, gives +3 PvP Fights at Rollover, +30 {{element|Sleaze|}} Damage, and +10 Damage Reduction.
* [[can opener]]: Weapon, gives +50% Hat/Pants Drops and weakens opponents on hit.
* [[potato masher]]: Weapon, gives +15 Spell Damage and +10% Critical Spell Chance.
2 cashews each:
* [[mini-marshmallow dispenser]]: Accessory, gives +30 maximum HP/MP and +6-8 HP/MP regeneration.
* [[glass pie plate]]: Shield, gives +7 Damage Reduction, +3 {{element|Hot|}} Resistance, +25 Damage vs. [[:Category:Ghosts|Ghosts]], and halves damage from Ghosts, including [[The Horror... (A-Boo Peak)|A-Boo Peak ghosts]].
* [[bread mold]]: Autosells for 2500 Meat, and combines with [[fire of unknown origin]] into a [[bomb of unknown origin|combat item]] that, when used on a Zeppelin protester, removes 10 [[A Mob of Zeppelin Protesters|Zeppelin protesters]]. 
3 cashews each:
* [[stuffing fluffer]]: When used, removes 36-46 soldiers from both sides of [[The Battlefield]].
* [[turkey blaster]]: Size-2 spleen item, restores 500-1000 HP and MP and advances the number of encounters in the last visited zone by 5, for the purpose of delayed or scheduled [[Conditional Adventures]]. Limited to 3 uses per day.
* [[gravy boat]]: 100-power hat, halves damage from [[:Category:Undead|Undead monsters]] and decreases Evil by 1 after every combat against monsters from [[The Cyrpt]].

Raw foods cook with cashew store items to make size-2 awesome foods that produce [[leftovers]] and grant 20 turns of [[Thanksgetting]]. This effect gives a base of +20% Item Drops, +40% Meat Drops, and +1 Familiar Weight, and gives another +20% Item Drops, +40% Meat Drops, +1 Familiar Weight, and +1 Resistance to All Elements for each unique source of Thanksgetting eaten that day. At Rollover, all turns of this effect are replaced with an equal number of turns of [[Thanksgot]], which gives a consistent +80% Meat Drops, +40% Item Drops, +2 Familiar Weight, and +1 Resistance to All Elements.
|- 
| data-sort-value="12" | December
| align="center" | {{StackItem|Build-a-City Gingerbread kit}}
| 
* [[Gingerbread City|A city full of crime and sprinkles]]
* See also: [[A GingerGuide to Gingerbread City]]
| Allows permanent access to [[Gingerbread City]] in [[The Big Mountains]]. All monsters in Gingerbread City are scaling monsters that drop {{plural|sprinkles}}, which can be exchanged for various items in non-combats in the City. 

The 10th City encounter will be a Noon choice, and the 20th City encounter will be a Midnight choice, neither of which will take an Adventure. Each zone has different options for the Noon and Midnight encounters. The City collapses after the Midnight choice, preventing further adventuring there for the day, until the City resets after Rollover.

The Civic Center [[Civic Planning Office|Noon non-combat]] offers permanent upgrades for the City, for 1000 sprinkles each:
* Allows for an additional 10 encounters after Midnight, before the City collapses
* The first encounter in the Civic Center is a [[Setting the Clock|choice to advance the City clock by 5 encounters]] (does not use an Adventure)
* Adds a new location, the [[Gingerbread Sewers|Sewers]], and moves all [[gingerbread pigeon]]s and [[gingerbread rat|rat]]s there
*Adds a new location, the [[Gingerbread Upscale Retail District|Retail District]]

Some possibly useful Noon/Midnight choices:
*[[Gingerbread Civic Center|Civic Center]] (Noon): [[fancy marzipan briefcase]], an off-hand item that gives +4-8 MP regeneration, -10% Combat Frequency, and disappears after Rollover
*[[Gingerbread Train Station|Train Station]] (Noon): Produces 8-11 random [[:Category:Candy|candies]], with a very rare chance of an [[Ultra Mega Sour Ball]]
*[[Gingerbread Train Station|Train Station]] (Midnight): [[fat loot token]], requires [[candy crowbar]] from [[Gingerbread Industrial Zone|Industrial District]] (Noon, 50 sprinkles)
*[[Gingerbread Upscale Retail District|Retail District]] (Noon, 150 sprinkles): [[pumpkin spice candle]], an off-hand item that gives +40% Item Drops and disappears after Rollover

Using a [[counterfeit city]] also allows access to Gingerbread City until Rollover, for players without permanent access.
|-
| data-sort-value="13" | [[KoL Con]] XIII<br>(2016)
| align="center" | {{StackItem|KoL Con 13 snowglobe}}<br>(Tradeable, Auto-pulled)
|
* Off-hand that gives random substats or items after combats
| An off-hand item that causes flashbacks after every combat. Flashbacks grant a few random substats, and less frequently instead drop a random PvP-stealable food, booze, or potion.

With a [[time-twitching toolbelt]] equipped, another substat-granting flashback occurs after the first.

The snowglobe is automatically placed in the inventory at the start of every Ascension.
|-
| data-sort-value="14" | [[Crimbo Lumps Shop]]<br>(2016)
| align="center" | {{StackItem|Rethinking Candy}}<br>Grants skill:<br>{{StackItem|Sweet Synthesis}}
|
* Uses two candies and 1 spleen space to give 30 turns of a strong effect
* See also: [http://noblesse-oblige.org/ezandora/sweet_synthesis.html Sweet Synthesis calculator]
| When used, consumes two [[:Category:Candy|candies]] and fills 1 spleen space to give 30 turns of an effect. The combination of candies used (candy "grade" and item ID) determines the effect. 

Some possibly useful effects:
* [[Synthesis: Strong|+300%]] [[Synthesis: Smart|to one]] [[Synthesis: Cool|attribute]]
* [[Synthesis: Greed|+300% Meat Drops]]
* [[Synthesis: Collection|+150% Item Drops]]
* [[Synthesis: Movement|+50% stat gains]] [[Synthesis: Learning|for one]] [[Synthesis: Style|attribute]]
|}

==2015==
{| CELLPADDING=4 CELLSPACING=0 BORDER=1 class="sortable"
|-
! width="5%" | Month
! class="unsortable" width="10%" | Item
! class="unsortable" width="15%" | Summary
! class="unsortable" | Description
|- 
| data-sort-value="0" | Item of the Year
| align="center" | {{StackItem|golden monkey statuette}}<br>Hatches into<br>{{StackItem|Golden Monkey}}
| 
* Volleyball and Leprechaun combo
* Sometimes drops [[powdered gold]], a spleen item
* Drops [[gold nuggets]] against monsters with no meat
| A familiar that increases Stat Gains like a Volleyball and Meat Drops like a Leprechaun. 

Occasionally drops [[powdered gold]], a size-4 spleen item that gives 5-10 Adventures and some stats. Against monsters that have no meat drops, drops [[gold nuggets]], which autosell for 100 Meat.
|- 
| data-sort-value="0" | Item of the Year
| align="center" | {{StackItem|Professor of Spelunkology}}<br>Hatches into<br>{{StackItem|Adventurous Spelunker}}
| 
* Fairy and Leprechaun combo
* Attacks and delevels foes
* Drops one [[Tales of Spelunking]] per day, for [[Tales of Spelunking (adventure)|Spelunking fun]]
| A familiar that increases Item Drops like a Fairy and Meat Drops like a Leprechaun, and also attacks and delevels enemies. 

Once per day, drops a [[Tales of Spelunking]] to go on a [[Tales of Spelunking (adventure)|Spelunking Adventure]] for 10 Adventures, which has a daily leaderboard and rewards some Meat depending on performance.
|- 
| data-sort-value="1" | January 
| align="center" | {{StackItem|Chateau Mantegna room key}}
| 
* A personal hotel room, where resting restores HP and MP, and gives substats
* Daily desk rummaging
* Benefits from the ceiling fixture
* A fight against the monster that was [[alpine watercolor set|last painted]], once per day
| Permanently unlocks a [[Chateau Mantegna]] room in [[The Big Mountains]] for personal use. The room has a bed, and four parts that can be customized: the painting, the ceiling, the desk, and the nightstand. There is also a [[Chateau Mantegna Gift Shop|Gift Shop]], selling items used to customize the room, and all room furnishings persist through Ascension. 
*The painting leads to a fight against the monster that the [[alpine watercolor set]] was [[Copying|last used on]], and the painting can be fought once per day.
*The ceiling option confers various benefits: 
** [[antler chandelier]]: +3 PvP Fights at Rollover
** [[artificial skylight]]: +3 Adventures at Rollover
** [[ceiling fan]]: +5 free rests per day
*The desk produces "something" once per day: 
** [[continental juice bar]]: 3 pre-determined potions
** [[fancy stationery set]]: 3 {{plural|fancy calligraphy pen}}
** [[Swiss piggy bank]]: 1000 Meat
*The nightstand option determines the type of stat gained from resting in the bed.
Resting in the bed restores 200-300 HP and 100-150 MP and gives up to 100 substats (based on Level), with the type of stat determined by the nightstand option. With [[Resting#Free Rests|free rests]] available, resting in the bed will not take an Adventure. Otherwise, resting in the bed has a chance of yielding a [[Alpine Mintiness|minty consumable]].
|-
| data-sort-value="2" | February 
| align="center" | {{StackItem|bottle of lovebug pheromones}}
| 
* Gives [[Summon Love Mosquito|three]] [[Summon Love Gnats|lovebug]] [[Summon Love Stinkbug|skills]] in combat
* Various lovebug encounters after combat
* Some locations have specific encounters that help quest progress
| Grants the combat skills [[Summon Love Mosquito]], [[Summon Love Gnats]], and [[Summon Love Stinkbug]]. Each lovebug skill costs 0 MP to use and may be used once per fight. 
*Mosquito: Staggers, deals 10% the monster's current HP or at least 10 damage, and heals HP equal to the damage dealt.
*Gnats: A multi-round stun, with the duration of the stun decreasing the more times it is used that day. 
*Stinkbug: Causes passive physical and {{element|Stench|}} damage every round, with the damage per round decreasing the more times it is used that day. 

Also causes lovebugs to sometimes appear after combat. Generic lovebug encounters can slightly increase Meat or Item Drops, or give 4-5 of a random substat. There are also location-specific lovebugs and effects, such as [[Pulverize|elemental powders]] in [[The Haunted Kitchen]], [[Evilometer|Evil decreases]] in [[The Cyrpt]], bridge parts in [[The Smut Orc Logging Camp]], 3 turns of [[Ultrahydrated]] in [[The Arid, Extra-Dry Desert]], and local currency drops in most Elemental Charter zones, [[Hobopolis]], and [[Dreadsylvania]].

'''Path exclusive:''' In [[Actually Ed the Undying]], Summon Love Mosquito is replaced with [[Summon Love Scarabs]], which functions similarly, but restores 1/3 the damage done in MP instead of healing HP.
|-
| data-sort-value="3" | March 
| align="center" | {{StackItem|Ed the Undying exhibit crate}}<br>Contains<br>{{StackItem|The Crown of Ed the Undying}}
| 
* +50 maximum HP/MP and +25% Initiative hat
* Configurable for more effects
* [[Actually Ed the Undying|Ed-sclusive effects]]
| A 100-power hat that gives +50 maximum HP/MP, and +25% Initiative. The hat can be [[Adjust your 'Edpiece|adjusted]] for a variety of additional enchantments:
* Bear/Owl/Puma: +20 Mus/Mys/Mox and +2 stats of the selected attribute per fight
* Hyena: +20 Monster Level
* Mouse: +10% Item Drops and +20% Meat Drops
* Weasel: +10-20 HP regeneration and causes the first enemy attack to always miss
* Fish: Underwater breathing

The hat also has the cosmetic effects of changing the player's avatar to that of Ed, and adding random mind-reading messages in combat and chat.

'''Path exclusive:''' In [[Actually Ed the Undying]], this item is auto-pulled from storage and equipable in Hardcore. Ed can use the "Ed's servants will level up faster" enchantment, causing servants to gain 2 experience instead of 1 after combat, and the "Allows you to read thoughts" enchantment causes [[:Category:Undead|Undead]] enemies to sometimes yield a [[Ka coin]] at the start of combat. The Weasel adjustment is able to restore Ed's HP, despite the path's restriction.
|-
| data-sort-value="4" | April 
| align="center" | {{StackItem|airplane charter: Dinseylandfill}}
| 
* {{element|Stench|}} [[Dinseylandfill|charter]]
* Access to a [[Uncle Gator's Country Fun-Time Liquid Waste Sluice|scaling monster zone]] that multiplies bonus Monster Level
* See also: [[Dinseylandfill Employee Manual]]
| Grants permanent access to [[Dinseylandfill]], which contains 4 {{element|Stench|}}-themed zones. The [[Employee Assignment Kiosk]] assigns a task once per day, requiring some work in the park in exchange for some {{plural|FunFunds™}}, which are spent at [[The Dinsey Company Store]]. 
*[[Barf Mountain]] is a 100 monster level zone filled with tourists with a base Meat drop of 250, and after waiting in line enough, [[This Ride Is Like... A Rollercoaster Baby Baby|the ride can be ridden]] for stats and Meat. 
*[[Pirates of the Garbage Barges]] is a 150 monster level zone teeming with pirates, but have been corporatized to the point of forgetting all of their pirate insults. 
*[[The Toxic Teacups]] contains only scaling [[toxic beastie]]s, and every combat here gives a few turns of [[Toxic Vengeance]], which gives -1 to all attributes, +3 {{element|Stench|}} Damage, and +3% Spell Damage per turn of the effect. 
*[[Uncle Gator's Country Fun-Time Liquid Waste Sluice]] is another scaling zone, with monsters also having bonus Monster Level multiplied, and causing additional {{element|Stench|}} damage after combat, for additional challenge and stat rewards. The [[backwoods banjo|charter's]] [[fake washboard|rarest]] [[ratskin pajama pants|items]] drop here.

There are also the [[Maint Misbehavin'|Maintenance tunnels]], where various aspects of the adventuring zones here can be controlled, unlocked by adventuring in that zone for a while. Once a day, turning in a [[bag of park garbage]] from Barf Mountain here will award 3 FunFunds™. By collecting keycards from around the park, the [[Wart Dinsey|Cryo-Stasis]] room becomes accessible.

As with all [[Elemental International Airport]] locations, the difference between owning a charter and using a [[one-day ticket to Dinseylandfill|one-day ticket]] is just that charter owners can access that location in Hardcore, or in Softcore without using a pull on a ticket. In Aftercore, it will take a very long time for a charter to break even with one-day tickets.
|-
| data-sort-value="5" | May 
| align="center" | {{StackItem|portable Mayo Clinic}}<br>(Workshed item, Tradeable)
| 
* Sells many delicious food additives to get more out of food
* Sells useful rental medical supplies (including a [[yellow ray strategy|YR]])
* An opportunity to witness the miracle of life?
| Sets up [[The Mayo Clinic]] in [[Your Workshed]], which sells wonderful packets of Mayo (1000 Meat each) and a selection of rental Mayo-medical supplies. Using a packet of Mayo gives 1 blood mayonnaise concentration (BMC) and affects the next food eaten, depending on the type of Mayo. Only one Mayo packet can be active at a time.
* [[Mayonex]]: For every adventure that food would have given, instead gives 1 BMC and 1 turn of [[Force of Mayo Be With You]], which gives +2 Resistance to All Elements and +<code>BMC + 10</code> {{element|Sleaze|}} Damage.
* [[Mayodiol]]: After eating that food, decreases Fullness by 1 and increases Drunkenness by 1.
* [[Mayostat]]: If the food was size-2 or greater, gives a size-1 mayolus with quality equal to that of the food eaten. Mayoli are tradeable.
* [[Mayozapine]]: Doubles stat gains and some effect durations granted by the food.
* [[Mayoflex]]: Gives an additional Adventure.

Medical supplies:
* [[sphygmayomanometer]] (2500 Meat): An accessory that gives +<code>BMC + 20</code>% to all attributes.
* [[tomayohawk-style reflex hammer]] (2500 Meat): A reusable combat item that staggers and does {{element|Sleaze|}} damage based on BMC.
* [[mayo lance]] (2500 Meat): A reusable combat item that uses BMC to fire a [[yellow ray strategy|Yellow Ray]] with a base cooldown of 150 turns. Each use decreases BMC by up to 30, and decreases the [[Everything Looks Yellow|cooldown]] by 5 turns per BMC consumed.
* [[miracle whip]] (10000 Meat, once per Ascension): A two-handed weapon that gives +50 Weapon Damage, +50% Initiative, +50% Item Drops, and +100% Meat Drops. 
Only one medical supply can be purchased per day, and all medical supplies (but not packets) disappear after Rollover.

Also allows soaking in the Mayo Tank once per day, removing many negative effects, healing all HP, and giving 20 turns of [[Force of Mayo Be With You]]. A [[Mmmmmmayonnaise|special surprise]] awaits anyone with a high enough blood mayo concentration...
|-
| data-sort-value="6" | June 
| align="center" | {{StackItem|yellow puck}}<br>Hatches into<br>{{StackItem|Puck Man}}<br><br>{{StackItem|yellow puck with a bow on it}}<br>Hatches into<br>{{StackItem|Ms. Puck Man}}
| 
* Potato and Ghoul Whelp combo
* Drops {{plural|yellow pixel}} after every combat, which are used in making various items, including strong potions, and high-quality food and booze
* Drops a limited number of {{plural|power pill}} occasionally, usable as free kill combat items
| A familiar that staggers like a [[Levitating Potato]], restores HP and MP after combat half of the time like a [[Ghoul Whelp]], and drops a [[yellow pixel]] after every combat. 

Yellow pixels are used in [[The Crackpot Mystic's Shed|making pixel items]]:
* [[pixel coin]] (10 yellow): Usable, gives 2000 Meat
* [[miniature power pill]] (15 yellow): Potion, gives 30 turns of [[Pill Power|+100% to all attributes and negating ghosts' physical resistance]]
* [[pixel star]] (15 yellow, 2 [[black pixel|black]]): Potion, gives 30 turns of [[Nigh-Invincible|+100% maximum HP/MP, Weapon Damage, and Spell Damage]]
* [[yellow pixel potion]] (10 yellow): Potion, gives 20 turns of [[WAKKA WAKKA WAKKA|+20 Monster Level]]
* [[pixel lemon]], [[pixel daiquiri]] (10 yellow): Size 2 "awesome" food/booze (5 adv/size)
* [[pixel banana]] (10 yellow, 1 black): Same as pixel lemon, also gives 40 turns of [[Going Ape|+30% Item Drops]]
* [[pixel beer]] (10 yellow, 5 [[white pixel|white]]): Same as pixel daiquiri, also gives 40 turns of [[Analog Drunk|+3 Stats Per Fight]]
* [[yellow submarine]] (50 yellow, 5 [[red pixel|red]], 5 [[green pixel|green]], 5 [[blue pixel|blue]]): Allows access to [[The Mysterious Island of Mystery]]

In addition, occasionally drops a [[power pill]] after combat. Power pills are combat items that instakill the monster and make the fight a free fight, and are also usable as potions for the same effect as miniature power pills. There is a daily limit to the number of power pills that can drop, either <code>daycount + 1</code> or 11, whichever is lower. Up to 20 power pills are usable in combat each day.

'''Path exclusive:''' In [[One Crazy Random Summer]], the [[kill screen]] familiar equipment that derives from this familiar is auto-pulled from storage, for even more [[Monster Modifier|randomness]] in the run.
|-
| data-sort-value="7" | July 
| align="center" | {{StackItem|Pack of Every Card}}<br>Contains<br>{{StackItem|Deck of Every Card}}<br>(Auto-pulled)
| 
* 15 random draws from the Deck per day
* Specific card draws at the cost of 5 random draws (up to 3/day)
* Cards can do [[Deck of Every Card (Effects Table)|many things]]
| Allows for 15 [[Deck of Every Card (Effects Table)|random draws]] from the Deck per day. 5 random draws may be consumed to cheat and pick a specific card from the Deck, allowing for up to 3 cheats per day. Any card can only be drawn once per day. The cards' effects are widely varied, producing items, monster fights, effects, stats, or many other outcomes. 

Some possibly useful cards:
*III - The Empress / VI - The Lovers / XXI - The World: Grants 500 Mys/Mox/Mus substats, respectively
*X - The Wheel of Fortune: Gives 20 turns of [[Fortune of the Wheel|+100% Item Drops]]
*XVI - The Tower: Gives one of [[Boris's key]], [[Jarlsberg's key]], or [[Sneaky Pete's key]]
*Island: Gives [[blue mana]], used to cast [[Ancestral Recall]] to gain 3 Adventures
*Ancestral Recall: Teaches Ancestral Recall (can be made permanent), otherwise gives [[blue mana]] if already learned
*Sheep: Gives 3 {{plural|stone wool}}
*Mine: Gives [[asbestos ore]], [[chrome ore]], and [[linoleum ore]]
*1952 Mickey Mantle: Gives a [[1952 Mickey Mantle card]], which autosells for 10000 Meat
*Swords: Gives 2-5 random swords, which can include [[sword behind inappropriate prepositions]] and [[dense liana|various machetes]]
*Various Cluedo weapons: Gives a 1-handed weapon, which gives one of +100% to one attribute or +2 stats of one attribute per fight, and another enchantment, and disappears after Rollover

The Deck is automatically placed in the inventory at the start of a new Ascension.
|-
| data-sort-value="8" | August 
| align="center" | {{StackItem|airplane charter: That 70s Volcano}}
| 
* {{element|Hot|}} [[That 70s Volcano|charter]]
* With enough Disco Style, get a daily bonus from [[The Towering Inferno Discotheque]]
* See also: [[Groovy Geology: Your Guide to That 70s Volcano]]
| Grants permanent access to [[That 70s Volcano]], which contains four {{element|Hot|}}-themed zones. Every day, the [[W.L.F. Bunker]] offers a [[Volcoino]] in exchange for one of three items (or sets of items) that can be found around the Volcano. {{plural|Volcoino}} are spent at [[The Towering Inferno Discotheque]]. For those with enough Disco Style, the Discotheque also offers a variety of bonuses, once per day. In every location here, there is a choice non-combat that occurs after 50 combats in the zone that day, which may yield a quest item to be turned in, either directly or after fighting a boss. 
*[[The SMOOCH Army HQ]] is the local scaling monster zone, where {{plural|heat-resistant sheet metal}} and [[SMOOCH soda]] drop. 
*[[The Bubblin' Caldera]] is a 100 monster level zone that [[Drenched in Lava|limits base stats to 30]], converts sheet metal into [[superheated metal]] or [[superduperheated metal]] (1/day), and is where the [[basaltamander buckler|charter's]] [[lava balaclava|rarest]] [[lavalarva|items]] drop. 
*[[The Velvet / Gold Mine]] is a 70 monster level zone where heat-resistant equipment can be found, and becomes a [[The Velvet / Gold Mine (Mining)|mining location]] with the right preparation. 
*The [[LavaCo™ Lamp Factory]] is also a 70 monster level zone where even more heat-resistant equipment drops, and is understandably involved in LavaCo™ Lamp assembly.

As with all [[Elemental International Airport]] locations, the difference between owning a charter and using a [[one-day ticket to That 70s Volcano|one-day ticket]] is just that charter owners can access that location in Hardcore, or in Softcore without using a pull on a ticket. In Aftercore, it will take a very long time for a charter to break even with one-day tickets.
|-
| data-sort-value="9" | September 
| align="center" | {{StackItem|shrine to the Barrel god}}
| 
* [[Pray to the Barrel God|Daily prayer to Him]] for a blessing (once-per-run rentable gear or a buff)
* Occasionally receive barrels after combat, containing a variety of items
* Improves [[The Barrel full of Barrels]], revealing mimics and making the crank more efficient
| Once per day, allows [[Pray to the Barrel God|prayer]] at [[The Dungeoneers' Association]] to receive His blessing, in the form of a barrel equipment, or 50 turns of a class-specific buff. Barrel equipment disappears after Rollover, and each gear can only be chosen once per Ascension. 
*[[barrel lid]] (shield): +50 Monster Level, +25% Muscle, +100 maximum HP, and +9 Damage Reduction
*[[barrel hoop earring]] (accessory): +50% Item Drops, +25% Mysticality, and +5-10 MP regeneration
*[[bankruptcy barrel]] (pants): +50% Initiative, +25% Moxie, and +10-20 HP regeneration
Of the class-specific buffs, noteworthy ones include the [[Pork Barrel|Pastamancer's +90% Item Drops]], and those of [[Barrel of Laughs|Turtle Tamers]] and [[Beer Barrel Polka|Accordion Thieves]], which can add up to 10 extra adventures when eating food or drinking booze respectively.

He occasionally bestows barrels after combat, with contents depending on the location and its difficulty. These barrels may contain burritos of various grades, Disco Bandit drinks, other consumables such as stat giving spleen items and HP/MP restorers, or items unique to these barrels. In addition, He denotes which barrels in [[The Barrel full of Barrels]] are mimics, and causes the crank to give 6 barrels instead of 3 per turn. Both of these benefits make it easier to gain {{plural|ten-leaf clover}} from smashing barrels there.
|-
| data-sort-value="10" | October 
| align="center" | {{StackItem|haunted doghouse}}<br>(Campground item)
| 
* A playful companion that gives treats every now and then
* [[Hallowiener Dog]] encounters after enough combats in a zone
* Can give stats, a [[Adventurer's Best Friendship|+50% all attributes buff]], or a +[[Ghost Dog Chow|20 familiar experience item]] fairly frequently
* Can give a [[tennis ball|free runaway/banish combat item]] very infrequently
* Helps a bit in certain quests
| Passively adds [[Hallowiener Dog]] encounters that occur after a certain number of Adventures have been spent in combats (5, 20, 50, and every 50 after that) in a location. These special encounters do not take Adventures. The generic encounters and their choices are as follows:
*[[Wooof! Wooooooof!|5 combats:]] 
** Substats, increasing each time taking this choice
** 30 turns of [[Adventurer's Best Friendship|+50% to all attributes]]
** [[Ghost Dog Chow]] (usable, gives 20 experience to the active familiar)
*[[Playing Fetch*|20 combats:]] 
** [[tennis ball]] (combat item, free runaway and 30-turn banish)
** 30 turns of [[Tennis Elbow-wow|+50% Initiative]]
** Meat
*[[Your Dog Found Something Again|50 combats and every 50 combats following:]] 
** Size-2 awesome or EPIC food
** Size-2 awesome or EPIC booze
** A curse item, usable on other players.

Some locations have unique encounters that replace a default Dog encounter there. Some locations with possibly useful encounters:
* [[8-Bit Realm]] ([[Dog Needs Food Badly|5 and 20 combats]]): 3 {{plural|white pixel}} and 5 random pixels
* [[The Defiled Nook]] ([[Seeing-Eyes Dog|5 combats]]): 3 {{plural|evil eye}}
* [[The Middle Chamber]] ([[Ratchet-catcher|5 combats]]): [[tomb ratchet]]
* Various [[Elemental International Airport]] locations (varies): 1 of the local currency

In Hardcore, [[The Penultimate Fantasy Airship]], [[The Arid, Extra-Dry Desert]], and [[The Battlefield|The Mysterious Island Battlefield]] are likely to have the 20-combat encounter.
|-
| data-sort-value="11" | November 
| align="center" | {{StackItem|airplane charter: The Glaciest}}
| 
* {{element|Cold|}} [[The Glaciest|charter]]
* Source of {{plural|perfect ice cube}} and [[VYKEA Companions]] components
* [[Walford's Shack|Walford's comedy stylings]]
* See also: [["Kyliga Bollar," The Glaciest Guide]]
| Grants permanent access to [[The Glaciest]], which contains three {{element|Cold|}}-themed zones. [[Walford's Shack|Walford]] is the local quest-giver, asking adventurers to fill [[Walford's bucket|his bucket]] with various objects found around the Glaciest, and rewarding {{plural|Wal-Mart gift certificate}} in return. Gift certificates can be spent at [[Wal-Mart]]. 
*[[The Ice Hotel]] is a 100 monster level zone, where {{plural|perfect ice cube}} and basic booze drop. Here, an [[ice hotel bell]] is an all-day banish and free runaway.
*[[VYKEA]] is a scaling zone, where the parts for assembling [[VYKEA Companions]] drop. 
*[[The Ice Hole]] is a 250 monster level [[Underwater adventuring|underwater]] zone, where Walford's bucket fills faster and the [[norwhal helmet|charter's]] [[octolus-skin cloak|rarest]] [[sardine can key|items]] drop.

As with all [[Elemental International Airport]] locations, the difference between owning a charter and using a [[one-day ticket to The Glaciest|one-day ticket]] is just that charter owners can access that location in Hardcore, or in Softcore without using a pull on a ticket. In Aftercore, it will take a very long time for a charter to break even with one-day tickets.
|-
| data-sort-value="12" | December 
| align="center" | {{StackItem|machine elf capsule}}<br>Hatches into<br>{{StackItem|Machine Elf}}
| 
* Before combat, stuns, delevels, or heals HP or MP
* Provides a [[Inner Elf|strong buff]] against bosses
* After combat, gives meat, substats, a [[Deep Machine Tunnels snowglobe|snowglobe]] (1/day), or [[Abstractions]], spleen items with very powerful effects
* Allows access to [[The Deep Machine Tunnels]] and 5 free fights per day there
* See also: [http://pastebin.com/C2VaqyWr A more detailed outline of the familiar]
| A familiar that does one of the following at the beginning of combat: 
* Stunning
* Deleveling (against relatively stronger monsters)
* Restoring 20 HP per pound (if not at full HP)
* Restoring 10 MP per pound (if not at full MP) 
Against boss monsters, instead gives 1 turn of [[Inner Elf|+100% to all attributes, Weapon Damage, and Spell Damage]]. 

After combat, gives some meat, substats of a random attribute, a [[Deep Machine Tunnels snowglobe]] (1/day), or a random decent quality [[Abstractions]]. These abstractions are size 1 spleen items that provide 50 turns of +100% to one attribute, or +25% stat gains of one attribute.

While the Machine Elf is active or under the [[Inside The Snowglobe|effect given by the snowglobe]], [[The Deep Machine Tunnels]] are accessible. This zone consists of scaling monsters, that also drop decent quality abstractions at a low rate. Once per combat against these monsters, using the right +100% attribute abstraction will convert it into a good quality abstraction. Good quality abstractions are also size 1 spleen items, giving 50 turns of [[Joy|+10 Familiar Weight]], [[Certainty|+100% Item Drops]], or [[Motion|+100% Initiative]]. With the Machine Elf active, the first 5 victories in this zone each day are free fights.

After the first 5 encounters in the zone and after every 50 encounters after that, there is a [[Shining Mauve Backwards In Time|scheduled choice adventure with the following options]]:
* Acquire several random decent and/or good quality abstractions
* Acquire an [[abstraction: comprehension]] (requires all three +100% attribute abstraction effects active)
* [[A Vocalization of Two|Duplicate a food, booze, spleen item, or potion]] (1/Ascension, requires Machine Elf active, item must be PvP-stealable)
* Skip the choice, to not use a turn.
|-
| data-sort-value="13" | [[KoL Con]] XII<br>(2015)
| align="center" | {{StackItem|potted tea tree}}<br>(Campground item)
| 
* Once per day, gives three [[Specifici Tea|random cuppsa tea]], or one specific tea.
* Cuppsa tea can do many different things
| Once per day, can be shaken for three random cuppsa tea, or have [[Specifici Tea|one specific cuppa tea]] be picked. Cuppsa tea are consumables (mostly potions) which have a wide variety of effects. 

Some possibly useful teas:
* [[cuppa Voraci tea|+1 stomach capacity for the day]]
* [[cuppa Sobrie tea|-1 Drunkenness]]
* [[cuppa Irritabili tea|30 turns of +]]/[[cuppa Obscuri tea|- 5% Combat Frequency]]
* [[cuppa Loyal tea|30 turns of +5 Familiar Weight]] 
* [[cuppa Serendipi tea|30 turns of +25% Item Drops]]
* [[cuppa Insani tea|30 turns of +3 Random Monster Modifiers]]
* [[cuppa Craft tea|Allows 6 craftings without using Adventures]]
|-
|}

==2014==
{| CELLPADDING=4 CELLSPACING=0 BORDER=1 class="sortable"
|-
! width="5%" | Month
! class="unsortable" width="10%" | Item
! class="unsortable" width="15%" | Summary
! class="unsortable" | Description
|-
| data-sort-value="0" | Item of the Year
| align="center" | {{StackItem|praying Grim Brother}}<br>Hatches into<br>{{StackItem|Grim Brother}}
| 
* Volleyball and Leprechaun combo
* Sometimes drops a [[grim fairy tale]], a spleen item
* Once per day, receive [[Barely Tales|a small buff]]
| A familiar that increases stat gains like a Volleyball and Meat Drops like a Leprechaun. 

Occasionally drops a [[grim fairy tale]], a size-4 spleen item that gives 5-10 Adventures and some stats. Can also be [[Barely Tales|talked to]], once per day, for a choice of 30 turns of +20 Combat Initiative, +20 maximum HP and +10 maximum MP, or +10 Weapon Damage and +20 Spell Damage.
|-
| data-sort-value="0" | Item of the Year
| align="center" | {{StackItem|hibernating Grimstone Golem}}<br>Hatches into<br>{{StackItem|Grimstone Golem}}
| 
* Fairy and Leprechaun combo
* Drops one [[grimstone mask]] per day
| A familiar that increases Item Drops like a Fairy and Meat Drops like a Leprechaun. 

After 40-50 combats of use in a day, drops a [[grimstone mask]], which allows one "play" in a variety of minigames.
|-
| data-sort-value="1" | January
| align="center" | {{StackItem|Discontent™ Winter Garden Catalog}}<br>Contains<br>{{StackItem|packet of winter seeds}}<br>(Garden item)
| 
* Grows 3 {{plural|snow berries}} and 3 {{plural|ice harvest}} per day
* Snow and ice can be [[Winter Gardening|"crafted" into various items]]
* Grows a [[frost flower]] if undisturbed for three days
| Creates [[A Winter Garden]] in [[The Campground]], which grows 3 {{plural|snow berries}} and 3 {{plural|ice harvest}} per day. These are size-1 good quality foods that respectively give 30 turns of [[Berry Berry Cold|+10 Cold Damage and +20 Damage to Cold Spells]] or [[Icy Demeanor|+20 maximum HP and +3 Hot Resistance]]. 

These items can also be exchanged at [[Winter Gardening]] for various items. Some of the items (not exhaustive):
*[[snow cleats]] (1 snow): A potion that gives 30 turns of [[Snow Shoes|-5% Combat Frequency]]
*[[Ice Island Long Tea]] (1 snow, 4 ice): Size-4 EPIC booze
*[[snow boards]] (2 snow): Adds 5 sections toward [[The Orc Chasm|bridge building]]
*[[unfinished ice sculpture]] (3 snow, 3 ice): A combat item that [[Copying|copies]] a monster
*[[snow belt]] (7 snow, 1 ice): An accessory that disappears after Rollover, gives +5 substats of each kind per fight and +8 Adventures at Rollover
If the garden is not harvested for three days, the next harvest also yields a [[frost flower]], which gives 50 turns of [[Frosty (effect)|+100% Initiative, +100% Item Drops, +200 Meat Drops, +25 Monster Level,]] and a [[Throw Frostball|0 MP Cold Damage skill]].
|-
| data-sort-value="2" | February
| align="center" | {{StackItem|Buddy Bjorn}}<br>(Tradeable)
| 
*A back item that gains an enchantment from the familiar held
*The held familiar can also act in combat
| A back item that can hold a familiar, which gains 1 familiar experience per fight. The Bjorn gains enchantments depending on the familiar held, and also allows the held familiar to perform Bjorn-specific actions in combat.

Some familiars with useful Bjorn functions (not exhaustive):
* [[El Vibrato Megadrone]]: +10 Monster Level and restores 10-15 MP per round for the first three rounds of combat
* [[Grim Brother]]: +5% Combat Frequency and produces up to two {{plural|grim fairy tale}} per day
* [[Grimstone Golem]]: -5% Combat Frequency and produces one [[grimstone mask]] per day
* [[Feral Kobold]]: +15% Item Drops
* [[Machine Elf]]: +7 to all attributes, sometimes produces abstractions
* [[Reassembled Blackbird]]/[[Reconstituted Crow]]: +10% Item Drops, sometimes produces {{plural|blackberry}}
* [[Trick-or-Treating Tot]]: +10 to all attributes, drops three {{plural|hoarded candy wad}} per day

|-
| data-sort-value="3" | March
| align="center" | {{StackItem|Sneaky Pete's leather jacket}}<br>(Tradeable)
| 
*A shirt that gives +10 Moxie and can have its enchantments changed
*[[Avatar of Sneaky Pete|Pete]] only: Improved audience interaction
| A 100-power shirt that can change its enchantments by [[Sneaky Pete's leather jacket (collar popped)|popping its collar]].
<div style="column-count:2;-moz-column-count:2;-webkit-column-count:2">Unpopped:
*+10 Moxie
*+20% Meat Drops
*+30% Pickpocket chance
*+4 Adventures at Rollover
Popped:
*+10 Moxie
*+20% Initiative
*+30 Monster Level
*+4 PvP Fights at Rollover</div>

'''Path exclusive:''' In [[Avatar of Sneaky Pete]], the jacket (in either form) is auto-pulled, and equipable in Hardcore. Pete can use the "The Audience Loves/Hates You Even More!" enchantment, increasing the Love/Hate caps to 50, and causing [[Mug for the Audience]] and [[Pickpocket]] to affect the Audience doubly so.
|-
| data-sort-value="4" | April
| align="center" | {{StackItem|Little Geneticist DNA-Splicing Lab}}<br>(Workshed item, Tradeable)
| 
*Allows [[DNA extraction syringe|DNA extraction]], which is used for making [[Gene Tonic]]s (3/day) and self-hybridization for an intrinsic effect
*The type of effect is determined by the [[Monster Types|DNA source]]
| While in [[Your Workshed]], gives a [[DNA extraction syringe]], a reusable combat item that staggers and collects DNA based on [[Monster Types]]. Each monster type has an associated effect, which can come from a [[Gene Tonic]], as 30 turns of the effect, or from self-hybridization, as an intrinsic effect. The last DNA extraction determines the type of Gene Tonic or hybridization. There is a daily limit of creating three Gene Tonics and one hybridization. While making a Gene Tonic does not affect the DNA in the syringe, hybridization will empty it. The effects from the Lab are not mutually exclusive, but having a Gene Tonic and intrinsic of the same type does not double the effect.

Some useful effects (not exhaustive):
*[[:Category:Constellations|Constellations]]: [[Human-Constellation Hybrid|+50% Meat Drops]]
*[[:Category:Constructs|Constructs]]: [[Human-Machine Hybrid|+50 Damage Absorption, +5 Damage Reduction, +5 Familiar Weight]]
*[[:Category:Dudes|Dudes]]: [[Human-Human Hybrid|+10 to all attributes, +10% Item Drops]]
*[[:Category:Fish|Fish]]: [[Human-Fish Hybrid|+10 Familiar Weight]]
*[[:Category:Weird|Weird]]: [[Human-Weird Thing Hybrid|+4 Stats per fight]]
|-
| data-sort-value="5" | May
| align="center" | {{StackItem|airplane charter: Spring Break Beach}}
| 
* {{element|Sleaze|}} [[Spring Break Beach|charter]]
* See also: [[A Tourist's Guide to Spring Break]]
| Grants permanent access to [[Spring Break Beach]], which contains three {{element|Sleaze|}}-themed zones. {{Plural|Beach Buck}} are the local currency, and are conveniently given by quests from the three stores there where they are spent. Unlike other Charter quests which reset daily, quests at Spring Break Beach are reset by using an [[Ultimate Mind Destroyer]]. 
*[[The Fun-Guy Mansion]] contains only [[Fun-Guy Playmate]]s, which have randomized immunities, and gain power and immunities as more of them are defeated.
*The [[Sloppy Seconds Diner]] is the local scaling monster zone, with a periodic choice adventure that can give Beach Bucks or increase the monster level of a monster in the zone. 
*[[The Sunken Party Yacht]] is a 350 monster level [[Underwater adventuring|underwater]] zone, with a periodic choice adventure with results including an Ultimate Mind Destroyer (1/week), or trading {{plural|string of moist beads}} for Beach Bucks.

As with all [[Elemental International Airport]] locations, the difference between owning a charter and using a [[one-day ticket to Spring Break Beach|one-day ticket]] is just that charter owners can access that location in Hardcore, or in Softcore without using a pull on a ticket. In Aftercore, it will take a very long time for a charter to break even with one-day tickets.
|-
| data-sort-value="6" | June
| align="center" | {{StackItem|still grill}}<br>Hatches into<br>{{StackItem|Galloping Grill}}
| 
*Sombrero and {{element|Hot|}} Starfish combo
*Sometimes drops stat-related items after combat
| A familiar that increases stat gains like a [[Hovering Sombrero]] and does {{element|Hot|}} damage and restores MP like a [[Star Starfish]]. The damage done will be physical against {{element|Hot|}} monsters, and always acts at the beginning of combat. 

Sometimes drops various items after combat:
*[[hot ashes]] (up to 5/day): A combat item that deals stat-based {{element|Hot|}} damage, and can be cooked with [[soda water]] into [[ash soda]], a potion that gives 15 turns of [[Ashen Burps|+15 Monster Level]].
*[[shaker of dry rub]]: When eating food, this item is consumed to add 12-16 to all substats to the food.
*[[bottle of lighter fluid]]: A potion that gives [[Lit Up|20 turns]] of +20 {{element|Hot|}} Damage and +20 Damage to {{element|Hot|}} Spells.
*[[liquid smoke]]/[[dollop of barbecue sauce]]/[[bowl of marinade]]: Potions that give 15 turns of +15 to both off-stats.
|-
| data-sort-value="7" | July
| align="center" | {{StackItem|Clan speakeasy}}<br>(VIP Lounge)
| 
* Sells a variety of booze, up to three per day
* Booze effects include substats, [[Semi-Rare Adventures|semi-rare adventure]] tracking, various effects, PvP Fights, and others
| [[#VIP Lounge|(More details in the VIP Lounge section on this page)]]
|-
| data-sort-value="8" | August
| align="center" | {{StackItem|The Confiscator's Grimoire}}<br>Grants skill:<br>{{StackItem|Summon Confiscated Things}}
| 
* Produces an equipment, potion, and usable item, once per day
| Once per day, summons three items:
* Equipment: The type is predictable based on class, path, and day.
:*[[cap gun]]: A 1-handed ranged weapon that limits base attributes to 200, and grants the [[Bang! Bang! Bang! Bang!]] skill, which delevels and staggers
:*[[glow-in-the-dark necklace]]: An accessory that gives +10% Mysticality, +10 Spell Damage, and +2-10 MP regeneration
:*[[Groll doll]]: An accessory that does passive damage in various elements, delevels, or restores some HP each round
:*[[plastic nunchaku]]: A 2-handed weapon that gives +3 Prismatic Damage and +30% Initiative
:*[[portable cassette player]]: An accessory that gives +5% [[Combat Frequency]], +5 Monster level, and small buffs while equipped
:*[[sticky hand whip]]: A 1-handed weapon that gives +5% Item Drops, +10% Pickpocket chance, and +15% Meat Drops
* Potion: Gives +10 to an attribute, +10 to a related type of damage, and +10% to a related type of critical hit or +10 Damage Reduction
* Usable item: Items that can be used on other players for fun, or an LCD game minigame
|-
| data-sort-value="9" | September
| align="center" | {{StackItem|Thor's Pliers}}<br>(Tradeable)
| 
* 1-handed weapon with multiple functions
* Improves stat gains, MP regeneration, fighting, and crafting
* Especially useful in [[Heavy Rains]]
| A 1-handed weapon with several enchantments: 
*+4 Stats per fight
*Allows for 10 [[Meatsmithing]]s without Adventure cost per day
*+6-9 MP regeneration
*+20% Pickpocket Chance
*Regular Attacks Can't Miss
*Gives the [[Ply Reality]] skill (staggers and does 3-5 damage of each element, 1/combat)

'''Path exclusive:''' In [[Heavy Rains]], this item is auto-pulled from storage and equipable in Hardcore. In addition, after every 11 combats wielding the Pliers, recovers 11 bolts of Lightning, a path-exclusive resource used for [[lightning milk|Lightning skills]].
|-
| data-sort-value="10" | October
| align="center" | {{StackItem|airplane charter: Conspiracy Island}}
| 
* {{element|Spooky|}} [[Conspiracy Island|Charter]]
* Access to [[The Deep Dark Jungle|a scaling zone]] where stat gains can [[Jungle Juiced|be doubled]]
* Access to [[The Mansion of Dr. Weirdeaux|a differently scaling zone]] where monster strength grows exponentially
* [[gore bucket|Bucket-related fatalities]]
* See also: [[Oceanic Island Survivalist Guide]]
| Grants permanent access to [[Conspiracy Island]], which contains three {{element|Spooky|}}-themed zones. [[A Radio on a Beach]] issues one quest per day, asking <s>Adventurers</s> Mercenaries to fulfill tasks around the Island in exchange for {{plural|Coinspiracy}}. Coins-spiracy are spent in the shops in [[The Conspiracy Island Bunker]], each of which must be unlocked by adventuring in the zones around the island. 
*[[The Deep Dark Jungle]] is the resident scaling monster zone, where stat gains are doubled while under the effect of [[Jungle Juiced]], from [[The Canteen]]'s [[Jungle Juice]]. Some of the [[pair of plants|charter's]] [[smoker's cloak|rarest]] [[camouflage T-shirt|items]] [[Sasq™ watch|drop]] here. 
*[[The Mansion of Dr. Weirdeaux]] has only [[One of Doctor Weirdeaux's creations|Dr. Weirdeaux's creations]], which have random heads, body parts, and butts, all with varying abilities, and increase in strength and number of body parts as more are defeated, eventually reaching gargantuan proportions. 
*[[The Secret Government Laboratory]] is a 200 monster level zone that requires wearing a [[Personal Ventilation Unit]] to adventure in, limiting base stats to 100. Monsters in the Lab can be modified with [[A Mysterious Control Panel]] once per day, affecting their stats (+/-150 monster level) and item drops. There is a hard limit of 10 item drops in the Lab per day.

As with all [[Elemental International Airport]] locations, the difference between owning a charter and using a [[one-day ticket to Conspiracy Island|one-day ticket]] is just that charter owners can access that location in Hardcore, or in Softcore without using a pull on a ticket. In Aftercore, it will take a very long time for a charter to break even with one-day tickets.
|-
| data-sort-value="11" | November
| align="center" | {{StackItem|fist turkey outline}}<br>Hatches into<br>{{StackItem|Fist Turkey}}
| 
*Fairy that attacks enemies
*Can give Meat or stats in combat
*Drops up to 5 boozes per day after combat
| A familiar that increases Item Drops like a Fairy, and attacks enemies. Always acts at the start of combat, attacking and sometimes staggering, giving Meat, or giving substats to one attribute (up to 5 instances per substat type each day). 

Occasionally drops size-1 booze after combat, up to a total of 5 drops per day:
*[[Friendly Turkey]] (awesome, L1-4): 25 turns of +5 Familiar Weight
*[[Agitated Turkey]] (EPIC, L5-7): 25 turns of +25% Item Drops
*[[Ambitious Turkey]] (EPIC, L8+): 25 turns of +25% Initiative and +50% Meat Drops 
|-
| data-sort-value="12" | December
| align="center" | {{StackItem|Crimbo sapling}}<br>Hatches into<br>{{StackItem|Crimbo Shrub}}
| 
* Attacks and increases stat gains, tuned to a chosen attribute
* [[box of old Crimbo decorations|Configurable]], once per day
* Can give extra PvP Fights
* [[yellow ray strategy|YR]] option, Meat-giving option, gift exchanging option
| A familiar that attacks enemies with elemental damage, increases stat gains, and has two other abilities, depending on decorations. Can be [[box of old Crimbo decorations|configured]] once per day to change the familiar's functions. Redecorating options:
*The attribute receiving 75% of the familiar's bonus stat gains
*Attack element (prismatic, or any of the 5 elements)
*One choice out of:
:*Healing HP after combat
:*Giving one PvP Fight after about every 20 combats
:*Staggering like a Potato
*One choice out of:
:*[[yellow ray strategy|Yellow Ray]] [[Open a Big Yellow Present|skill]] (0 MP) on a 150-turn cooldown
:*[[Open a Big Red Present|Skill that produces 2000-3000 Meat]] (0 MP) on a 100-turn cooldown
:*Gift exchanging, sometimes giving and receiving duplicated item drops to and from other players with the Shrub with this function
|-
| data-sort-value="13" | [[KoL Con]] XI<br>(2014)
| align="center" | {{StackItem|Xi Receiver Unit}}<br>(Correspondence item, Tradeable)
|
* Produces a [[transmission from planet Xi]] every day
* Day 1: Yields a [[Xiblaxian holo-wrist-puter|holo-wrist-puter]] (accessory, +10% Item Drops, find Xiblaxian materials)
* Day 2: Yields a [[Xiblaxian 5D printer|5D printer]] (purchase items using materials)
| Sets up a correspondence to deliver a [[transmission from planet Xi]] every day. The first transmission produces a [[Xiblaxian holo-wrist-puter]], an accessory that gives +10% Item Drops and occasionally drops Xiblaxian materials depending on the location type. The second transmission produces a [[Xiblaxian 5D printer]], where Xiblaxian materials are spent. 

A typical run will likely have enough materials to buy a [[Xiblaxian ultraburrito]] or [[Xiblaxian space-whiskey]], size-4 EPIC food or booze.
|}

==2013==
{| CELLPADDING=4 CELLSPACING=0 BORDER=1 class="sortable"
|-
! width="5%" | Month
! class="unsortable" width="10%" | Item
! class="unsortable" width="15%" | Summary
! class="unsortable" | Description
|- 
| data-sort-value="0" | Item of the Year
| align="center" | {{StackItem|avatar of the Unconscious Collective}}<br>Hatches into<br>{{StackItem|Unconscious Collective}}
| 
* Volleyball and Leprechaun combo
* Sometimes drops [[Unconscious Collective Dream Jar|Dream Jars]], a spleen item
* Gives 3 free rests per day
| A familiar that increases Stat Gains like a Volleyball and Meat Drops like a Leprechaun. Passively gives three free rests per day, even while in the Terrarium.

Occasionally drops a [[Unconscious Collective Dream Jar]], a size-4 spleen item that gives 5-10 Adventures and some stats. 
|-
| data-sort-value="0" | Item of the Year
| align="center" | {{StackItem|dreaming Jung man}}<br>Hatches into<br>{{StackItem|Angry Jung Man}}
| 
* Fairy and Leprechaun combo
* Drops a [[psychoanalytic jar]] for adventuring in psychoses
| A familiar that increases Item Drops like a Fairy and Meat Drops like a Leprechaun. Once per day, after 30 combats, drops a [[psychoanalytic jar]]. Jars are usable on some non-player characters (and sometimes [[Jick]]) to produce a jar of psychoses, which when used, unlock special adventuring zones for that day. Only one psychoses jar may be used per day.

[[The Crackpot Mystic's Psychoses]] contains [[Fear Man's Level]], which has the [[morbid skull]] monster that drops up to 5 {{plural|white pixel}} at a time.
|-
| data-sort-value="1" | January
| align="center" | {{StackItem|Snow Suit}}<br>(Tradeable)
| 
* Familiar equipment with a hefty but decaying weight bonus
* Tailorable for additional enchantments
| A familiar equipment that gives +20 Familiar Weight, and this bonus decreases by one pound after every 5 combats, down to a minimum of +5 Familiar Weight. This resets to +20 at Rollover.

Can be [[Tailor the Snow Suit|tailored]] to add an additional enchantment:
* Familiar attacks with physical damage
* Familiar attacks with {{element|Cold|}} damage
* +10% Item Drops, sometimes drops a [[carrot nose]] (3/day), used to make consumables that give 10 turns of [[Pla-see-bo|+10% Item Drops]]
* Restores 1-20 HP after combat
* Restores 1-10 MP after combat
|-
| data-sort-value="2" | February
| align="center" | {{StackItem|GameInformPowerDailyPro subscription card}}<br>(Correspondence item, Tradeable)
| 
* Produces a [[GameInformPowerDailyPro magazine|GIPDP magazine]] every day
* A handy [[dungeoneering kit]] for survival
* An alternate path for {{plural|fat loot token}}
| Sets up a correspondence to deliver a [[GameInformPowerDailyPro magazine]] every day. Reading the magazine opens [[The GameInformPowerDailyPro Dungeon]] in [[The Dungeoneers' Association]]. The first encounter in a fresh Dungeon yields a [[dungeoneering kit]], which will not take an Adventure. The kit contains:
* [[scroll of Protection from Bad Stuff]]: A potion that gives 20 turns of [[Protection from Bad Stuff|+2 Resistance to All Elements]] 
* [[scroll of Puddingskin]]: A potion that gives 80 turns of [[Puddingskin|+20 maximum HP and +5 Damage Reduction]]
* [[soft green echo eyedrop antidote]]: Removes one effect, some effects cannot be removed this way
A dungeon contains scaling monsters, which drop various consumables and equipment, and a final boss, which drops a [[fat loot token]] and an [[Raiments of the Final Boss|outfit piece]]. A Dungeon can be completed in about 20-30 turns.
|-
| data-sort-value="3" | March
| align="center" | {{StackItem|Jarlsberg's pan}}<br>(Tradeable)
| 
* Off-hand item geared for ([[Avatar of Jarlsberg|legendary]]) spellcasters
* Food and booze transmutation into potion ingredients
| An off-hand item with the following enchantments:
* +50% Spell Damage
* +8-10 MP regeneration
* +50% Food Drops
* +2 Mysticality Stats per fight
* +30 Damage Reduction (first hit only)
The pan can be [used] to toggle [[Jarlsberg's pan (Cosmic portal mode)|Cosmic portal mode]], which converts most dropped food and booze into {{plural|Cosmic Calorie}}. Calories can be made into the following potions:
* [[celestial olive oil]] (20 cal): 10 turns of [[Celestial Sheen|+1 Resistance to All Elements]]
* [[celestial carrot juice]] (30 cal): 10 turns of [[Celestial Vision|+30% Item Drops]]
* [[celestial au jus]] (50 cal): 10 turns of [[Celestial Saltiness|+5% Combat Frequency]]
* [[celestial squid ink]] (60 cal): 10 turns of [[Celestial Camouflage|-5% Combat Frequency]]

'''Path exclusive''': In [[Avatar of Jarlsberg]], the pan (in either form) is auto-pulled, and equippable in Hardcore. Jarlsberg can use the "+1 Food Conjuration" enchantment, producing an additional item when using the path's Conjure skills.
|-
| data-sort-value="4" | April
| align="center" | {{StackItem|Libram of Pulled Taffy}}<br>Grants skill:<br>{{StackItem|Summon Taffy}}
| 
* Summons a random taffy, used as potions or underwater combat items
| When cast, this skill produces a random taffy. As potions, each taffy gives 10 turns of its effect, with the effects getting stronger as their duration increases, to maximum potency at 50 turns or more. Taffies are also usable in [[Underwater adventuring|underwater]] combats, with a limit of one per fight.

Potion effects (X represents effect duration)/Underwater combat effects:
* [[pulled red taffy|Red]]: [[Cinnamon Challenger|+<code>X/2</code> Moxie, +<code>X/10</code> Moxie Stats per fight]]
** Combat: Drops a random underwater item after combat
* [[pulled orange taffy|Orange]]: [[Orange Crusher|+<code>X/2</code> Muscle, +<code>X/10</code> Muscle Stats per fight]]
** Combat: Deals 150-250 physical damage each round
* [[pulled yellow taffy|Yellow]]: [[Sour Softshoe|+<code>2X%</code> Meat Drops, +<code>X%</code> Item Drops]]
** Combat: "Yellow ray" that works on most underwater drops, with a 75-turn cooldown
* [[pulled green taffy|Green]]: [[Soda Jerked|+<code>X/2-X</code> MP regeneration]]
** Combat: Copies the monster in an [[envyfish egg]], only one egg may be used per day
* [[pulled blue taffy|Blue]]: [[Blue Swayed|+<code>X/10</code> Familiar Weight and +<code>X/5</code> Familiar Experience per fight]]
** Combat: Forces the next weapon attack to be critical and increases critical hit rate
* [[pulled indigo taffy|Indigo]]: +[[Closer to Fine|<code>X-2X</code> HP regeneration]]
** Combat: Free runaway and 40-turn banish
* [[pulled violet taffy|Violet]]: +[[Purple Reign|<code>X/2</code> Mysticality and +<code>X/10</code> Mysticality Stats per fight]]
** Combat: Sometimes staggers and restores 300 HP and 150 MP after combat

Yellow, green, and indigo taffies are "rare", where each summoned rare taffy decreases the chance of summoning another rare taffy that day. In addition, only one yellow taffy may be summoned per day.

Each successful libram skill cast increases the MP cost of the next libram cast.
|-
| data-sort-value="5" | May
| align="center" | {{StackItem|Order of the Green Thumb Order Form}}
| 
* Allows planting around the Kingdom for various passive effects in zones
* An exercise in memory
| Allows permanent access to [[The Florist Friar's Cottage]] in [[Forest Village]]. The Friar can plant various plants in the last zone adventured in, with the types of plants available dependent on the type of zone (indoor, outdoor, underground, and underwater). A zone may contain up to three unique plants, only one of which may be territorial, and only one of each plant type may be planted each day. Plants in different location types but with the same effect are considered as different plant types.

The following plant effects are common to the three non-underwater zone types:
<div style="column-count:2;-moz-column-count:2;-webkit-column-count:2">
* +30 Monster Level (territorial)
* +25% Item Drops (territorial)
* +5 (Mus/Mys/Mox) Stats per fight (territorial)
* Delevels monsters before combat
* HP restoration after combat
* MP restoration after combat
* Deals damage (various damage types, each its own plant type)</div>
Indoor and underground zones also have a plant that gives +25% Initiative, and outdoor and indoor zones also have a plant that sometimes staggers.

Underwater zones may have the following plant effects:
<div style="column-count:2;-moz-column-count:2;-webkit-column-count:2">
* Strong deleveling before combat (territorial)
* +40% Item Drops (territorial)
* +60% Meat Drops (territorial)
* Staggers, sometimes
* Causes the first enemy attack to miss
* Deals (physical/{{element|Stench|}}/{{element|Cold|}}) damage
* HP and MP restoration after combat
* +30 stats per fight</div>
|-
| data-sort-value="6" | June
| align="center" | {{StackItem|adventurer clone egg}}<br>Hatches into<br>{{StackItem|Mini-Adventurer}}
| 
* Does many different things, based on chracter level and its class
| A familiar that [[The Littlest Identity Crisis|chooses a class]] upon adventuring with it for the first time in an Ascension. Does various things based on its class and character level, gaining a new ability at level 1, 5, 10, and 15:
{| CELLPADDING=2 CELLSPACING=2
| Class
| Level 1+
| Level 5+
| Level 10+
| Level 15+
|-
| [[Mini-Adventurer/Mini-Seal Clubber|Seal Clubber]]
| Physical damage
| Volleyball stat gains
| {{element|Cold|}} damage
| Removes negative effects
|-
| [[Mini-Adventurer/Mini-Turtle Tamer|Turtle Tamer]]
| Volleyball stat gains
| Starfish damage/MP restoration
| Physical damage/deleveling
| {{element|Spooky|}} damage
|- 
| [[Mini-Adventurer/Mini-Pastamancer|Pastamancer]]
| Potato staggers
| HP restoration
| Leprechaun Meat Drops
| Prismatic damage
|- 
| [[Mini-Adventurer/Mini-Sauceror|Sauceror]]
| Leprechaun Meat Drops
| {{element|Hot|}}/{{element|Cold|}} damage
| Starfish {{element|Cold|}} damage/MP restoration
| Class-specific buffs
|-
| [[Mini-Adventurer/Mini-Disco Bandit|Disco Bandit]]
| Deleveling
| Fairy Item Drops
| Physical damage/HP restoration
| Physical damage/deleveling
|-
| [[Mini-Adventurer/Mini-Accordion Thief|Accordion Thief]]
| Class-specific buffs
| Ghoul Whelp HP/MP restoration
| Fairy Item Drops
| Sombrero stat gains
|}
|-
| data-sort-value="7" | July
| align="center" | {{StackItem|Clan hot dog stand}}<br>(VIP Lounge)
| 
* Provides one fancy hot dog edible per day
* Competitive [[basic hot dog|hot dog overeating]]
| [[#VIP Lounge|(More details in the VIP Lounge section on this page)]]
|-
| data-sort-value="8" | August
| align="center" | {{StackItem|Folder Holder}}<br>Contains:<br>{{StackItem|over-the-shoulder Folder Holder}}
| 
* Customizable accessory based on its held folders
| An accessory that holds up to three different folders, and gains enchantments based on the folders within. While equipped, allows folders to drop. Held folders are permanent, even across Ascension, until they are removed, which destroys them.

Some useful folders (not exhaustive):
* [[folder (skull and crossbones)|-5% Combat Frequency]]
* [[folder (Jackass Plumber)|+25 Monster Level]]
* [[folder (tranquil landscape)|+15 Damage Reduction, +10-20 HP and MP regeneration]]
* [[folder (owl)|+500% Item Drops]] ([[Dreadsylvania]] only)
* [[folder (sports car)|+5 Adventures at Rollover]]
* [[folder (sportsballs)|+5 PvP Fights at Rollover]]
* [[folder (heavy metal)|+5 Familiar Weight]]

'''Path exclusive''': In [[KOLHS]], this item is auto-pulled, and equippable in Hardcore. Its capacity is increased to five folders, with the extra two folders being ejected without being destroyed after freeing the King in this path.
|-
| data-sort-value="9" | September
| align="center" | {{StackItem|KoLHS Pep Squad Box}}<br>Hatches into<br>{{StackItem|Steam-Powered Cheerleader}}
| 
* Improved Fairy and Barrrnacle combo
* Effectiveness decays with use, resetting each day
* Provides small cheering buffs in combat
| A familiar that increases Item Drops like a Fairy and delevels like a Barrrnacle with a weight multiplier for both effects. This multiplier starts at 1.4× for 25 combats, and decreases by 0.1 every 25 combats, down to a minimum of 1× after 100 combats, at which the Item Drops bonus and deleveling are that of their normal counterparts. The multiplier resets each day.

Having the [[school spirit socket set|familiar-specific equipment]] equipped halves the rate at which the weight multiplier decreases, for 50 turns between decreases. 

Sometimes gives 1 turn of a buff at the start of combat, with effects including +15 to an attribute, +15 Damage Reduction and +50 Damage Absorption, and +20 elemental weapon and spell damage.

'''Path exclusive''': In [[KOLHS]], this familiar is not subject to the 10 lb base weight maximum in [[KoL High School]] zones.
|-
| data-sort-value="10" | October
| align="center" | {{StackItem|deanimated reanimator's coffin}}<br>Hatches into<br>{{StackItem|Reanimated Reanimator}}
| 
* Volleyball
* Collects [[Monster Parts]] for additional abilities
* Once per day, can [[Wink at (Familiar Name)|produce wandering copies of a monster]]
| A familiar that increases stat gains like a Volleyball and collects [[Monster Parts]] after combat, up to a total of 50 parts. The Reanimator gains additional abilities based on the kinds of parts collected, with strength dependent on part quantity. [[A Reanimated Conversation|Chatting with the Reanimator]] allows configuring which parts are collected or ignored, and also an option to discard the entire swarm of parts. When the Reanimator is not the active familiar, one part is lost per combat.
* Arms: Attacks each round
* Legs: Increases Item Drops
* Skulls: Increases Meat Drops
* Wings: Delevels before combat
* Weird Parts: Staggers

While active, grants the [[Wink at (Familiar Name)]] skill, which staggers and causes three wandering copies of the monster to appear, with 15-25 turns between wanderers. This skill can be used successfully once per day.

This familiar is [[:Category:Undead Familiars|undead]].
|-
| data-sort-value="11" | November
| align="center" | {{StackItem|Pantsgiving}}<br>(Tradeable)
| 
* Pants with assorted enchantments and skills
* Slightly increases maximum fullness
* Provides [[Talk About Politics|a 30-turn banishing skill]]
| A 100-power pair of pants with the following enchantments:
* +2 Stats per fight
* +2 Resistance to All Elements
* +15% Item Drops
* +30% Meat Drops

At maximum fullness, sometimes increases maximum Fullness by 1 after combat. This occurs after entering 5, 50, 500, and 5000 combats with the Pants equipped, even if not at maximum Fullness.

When worn, increases HP and MP gained from [[resting]] at the Campground by 5 per level of Fullness.

Grants the following combat skills, each costing 0 MP and usable once per combat:
* [[Talk About Politics]]: Instakills the opponent and banishes for 30 turns, usable 5 times per day
* [[Pocket Crumbs]]: Staggers and delevels by 10-15%, and sometimes produces an item (10/day), including size-1 foods, potions, and pocket lint
* [[Air Dirty Laundry]]: Staggers and deals some damage of a random type for each unique food eaten that day
|-
| data-sort-value="12" | December
| align="center" | {{StackItem|The Smith's Tome}}<br>Grants skill:<br>{{StackItem|Summon Smithsness}}
| 
* Produces [[Smithsness]]-related items
* Heavy +attributes% buffs and [[lump of Brituminous coal|equipment]]
* [[handful of Smithereens|Smithereens]] can be crafted into handy consumables (food/booze, [[Louder Than Bomb|free runaway+banish]], [[Golden Light|Yellow Ray]])
| When cast, produces a [[Flaskfull of Hollow]], a [[lump of Brituminous coal]], and a [[handful of Smithereens]].

The Flaskfull gives 150 turns of [[Merry Smithsness]], which gives +25 [[Smithsness]] and +1% to all attributes per Smithsness.

The coal [[Meatsmithing|Meatsmiths]] with starting class weapons and other basic items to produce equipment that give +5 Smithsness and have other bonuses. Smithed class weapons give +2% to the class's mainstat per Smithsness, and only grant this and their other bonuses to the respective class.
* [[Meat Tenderizer is Murder]] (SC): Club, +20% Weapon Damage, 25% chance to gain an extra [[Fury]] after combat, +2% Muscle per Smithsness
* [[Ouija Board, Ouija Board]] (TT): Shield, +5 Familiar Weight, faster [[Turtle Blessings]] improvement, 7-turn Turtle Tamer buffs, +2% Muscle per Smithsness
* [[Hand that Rocks the Ladle]] (P): Utensil, +5 Prismatic Damage, adds 10-12 Prismatic Damage to [[Utensil Twist]], +2% Mysticality per Smithsness
* [[Saucepanic]] (S): Saucepan, +2 Mysticality Stats per fight, increased [[Soul Saucery|Soulsauce]] gains, 15-turn Sauceror buffs, adds +2% Mysticality per Smithsness
* [[Frankly Mr. Shank]] (DB): Knife, +25% deleveling for [[Disco Momentum|Disco Bandit]] skills, +2% Moxie per Smithsness
* [[Shakespeare's Sister's Accordion]] (AT): Accordion, -1 MP Cost for skills, +1% Moxie per Smithsness, [[Cadenza]] staggers, deals {{element|Cold|}} damage, and restores 4-5 HP and MP, 15-turn Accordion Thief buffs ([[Accordion Appreciation]] doubles the MP cost reduction and Smithsness bonuses)<br>
* [[Sheila Take a Crossbow]]: 1-handed ranged weapon, +5% Pickpocket Chance, +1-2 HP and MP regeneration, +1% Initiative per Smithsness
* [[Staff of the Headmaster's Victuals]]: 1-handed chefstaff, +5 Damage to {{element|Sleaze|}} Spells, +2-3 MP regeneration, +2 Spell Damage per Smithsness, jiggle deals 30% monster HP in damage
* [[Work is a Four Letter Sword]]: 1-handed weapon, +5% Critical Hit Chance, +4-6 HP regeneration, +1 Weapon Damage per Smithsness
* [[A Light that Never Goes Out]]: Off-hand item, +5 Mysticality, +5 {{element|Hot|}} Damage, +1% Item Drops per Smithsness
* [[Half a Purse]]: Off-hand item, +1 Stat per fight, +3 Damage Reduction, +2% Meat Drops per Smithsness
* [[Hairpiece On Fire]]: 100-power hat, +2 {{element|Cold|}} Resistance, +4 Adventures at Rollover, +1 maximum MP per Smithsness
* [[Vicar's Tutu]]: 100-power pants, +1 Resistance to All Elements, +3 PvP Fights at Rollover, +2 maximum HP per Smithsness
* [[Hand in Glove]]: Accessory, +5 Muscle, Smithsness-based passive damage, +1 Monster Level per Smithsness
All items made with coal [[Pulverize]] into Smithereens.

Smithereens are a size-1 spleen item that gives 1-2 Adventures and 100 turns of [[Smithsness Presence|+10 Smithsness]], and is a crafting ingredient in several items.
* [[Every Day is Like This Sundae]]/[[Miserable Pie]]: Size-2 good/awesome food, gives 100/50 turns of [[Smithsness Dinner|+10 Smithsness]]
* [[Irish Coffee, English Heart]]/[[Strikes Again Bigmouth]]: Size-2 good/awesome booze, gives 100/50 turns of [[Smithsness Cheer|+10 Smithsness]]
* [[This Charming Flan]]/[[Paint A Vulgar Pitcher]]: Size-2 EPIC food/booze
* [[Golden Light]]: Combat item, [[Yellow ray strategy|Yellow Ray]] with 150-turn cooldown
* [[Handsome Devil]]: Combat item, instakills and adds +200% Meat Drops and +100% Item Drops for that combat
* [[Louder Than Bomb]]: Combat item, free runaway and 20-turn banish

In Ronin and Hardcore, there is a limit of three Tome uses across all Tome skills.
|-
| data-sort-value="13" | [[KoL Con]] X<br>(2013)
| align="center" | {{StackItem|Gordon Beer's Beer Garden Catalog}}<br>Contains<br>{{StackItem|packet of beer seeds}}<br>(Garden item)
| 
* Grows 3 {{plural|handful of barley}} and 3 {{plural|cluster of hops}} each day, and sometimes a [[fancy beer bottle]] or [[fancy beer label]]
* Garden crops are used to make various EPIC boozes (and one [[liquid bread|beverage]])
| Creates [[A Beer Garden]] in [[The Campground]], which grows 3 {{plural|handful of barley}} and 3 {{plural|cluster of hops}} each day. It will also alternate growing a [[fancy beer bottle]] or [[fancy beer label]] after the first day. One handful of barley and one cluster of hops are used to [[Let's Brew!|craft EPIC beer and beer-related items]], with bottled items also requiring a bottle and label:
* [[can of Brütalbräu]]/[[can of Drooling Monk|Drooling Monk]]/[[can of Impetuous Scofflaw|Impetuous Scofflaw]]: Size-1, gives 50-60 substats of one type and a [[fancy tin beer can]]. Pouring out the can also produces the can.
* [[liquid bread]]: Size-1 [[:Category:Beverages|non-alcoholic beverage]], gives 20 turns of [[Comprehensively Nourished|+2 Stats per fight]]
* [[bottle of Old Pugilist]]: Size-2, gives 20 turns of [[Fightin' Drunk|+50 Muscle and 10-20 HP regeneration]]
* [[bottle of Professor Beer]]: Size-2, gives 20 turns of [[Thinkin' Drunk|+50 Mysticality and 10-20 MP regeneration]]
* [[bottle of Rapier Witbier]]: Size-2, gives 20 turns of [[Jokin' Drunk|+50 Moxie and +20% Pickpocket Chance]]
* [[bottle of Fishhead 900-Day IPA]]: Size-2, gives 50 turns of [[A Real Head for Fish|+10 Fishing Skill]]

3 of each garden crop produces an [[artisanal homebrew gift package]], which may be used on a player to give them an [[artisanal homebrew sampler]]. The sampler contains 3 bottles of beer, two from the above list, and one exclusive to the sampler.
* [[bottle of Race Car Red]]: Size-3, gives 20 turns of [[Flyin' Drunk|+100% Initiative and +25 Damage Reduction]]
* [[bottle of Greedy Dog]]: Size-3, gives 20 turns of [[Covetin' Drunk|+200% Meat Drops]]
* [[bottle of Lambada Lambic]]: Size-3, gives 20 turns of [[Dancin' Drunk|+100% Item Drops]]

Beer cans are also usable to make items:
* [[tin cup]] (1 can): Potion, gives 20 turns of [[Tingling Feeling|+10% Item Drops and +20% Meat Drops]]
* [[tin snips]] (2 cans): Reusable combat item, causes bleeding each round
* [[tin lizzie]] (4 cans): Quest item, allows travel to [[Desert Beach]]
* [[tin tam]] (8 cans): 100-power hat, +2 Resistance to all Elements, +5 Damage Reduction, +1 Mysticality Stat per fight
* [[tin foil]] (11 cans): 1-handed weapon, +10% Muscle, +10% Weapon Damage, +1 Muscle Stat per fight
* [[tin drum]] (16 cans): 2-handed ranged weapon, +10% Moxie, +3 Prismatic Damage, +1 Moxie Stat per fight
* [[tin roof (rusted)]] (32 cans): Housing furnishing, gives +5 PvP Fights at Rollover
|}

==VIP Lounge==
This section contains the other [[Clan VIP Lounge]] items not detailed in a previous section. Information about the [[Clan VIP Lounge key]] can be found on [[User:AstronautGuy/Mr._Store_Analysis#vipkey|the parent page.]]
{| CELLPADDING=4 CELLSPACING=0 BORDER=1 class="sortable"
|-
! width="5%" | Month
! class="unsortable" width="10%" | Item
! class="unsortable" width="15%" | Summary
! class="unsortable" | Description
|-
| data-sort-value="09" | May 2009
| align="center" | {{StackItem|Clan pool table}}<br>(VIP Lounge)
| 
* Three billiards buffs per day
* A farewell to pants
| Allows for three games of pool per day, each of which also provides a choice of one of three 10-turn effects:
* [[Billiards Belligerence|+50% Weapon Damage, +5 Familiar Weight]]
* [[Mental A-cue-ity|+50% Spell Damage, +10 MP regeneration]]
* [[Hustlin'|+50% Initiative, +10% Item Drops]]

Each game of pool also challenges the current table leader, comparing [[Pool Skill]] for control and bragging rights.
|-
| data-sort-value="10" | March 2010
| align="center" | {{StackItem|Clan looking glass}}<br>(VIP Lounge)
| 
* Access to a wonderful land in the Plains
* See also: [[Tea party strategy]]
| Produces a [["DRINK ME" potion]] each day, which gives 20 turns of [[Down the Rabbit Hole|access to the Rabbit Hole]] in [[The Nearby Plains]]. [[The Rabbit Hole]] contains three locations:
* [[The Mad Tea Party]]: Once per day, provides 20 turns of an effect based on the character length of the currently worn hat.
* [[The Red Queen's Garden]]: A scaling monster zone, where one [[reflection of a map]] can drop for every previously used "DRINK ME" potion. The map leads to a choice adventure that can produce various items, or a chess puzzle that gives chess cookies.
* [[The Tweedleporium]]: A shop that sells different items depending on the day of the week.
|-
| data-sort-value="11" | April 2011
| align="center" | {{StackItem|Clan shower}}<br>(VIP Lounge)
| 
* One daily refreshing shower, for MP restoration, improved stat gains, or cold utility
| Allows for one [[April Shower]] per day, with 5 different temperature settings:
* Hot: Restores up to 1000 MP, and has a chance of teaching an undiscovered [[Amazing Ideas|Amazing Idea]]
* Warm: 50 turns of [[Muscle Unbound|+5% Muscle stat gains]]
* Lukewarm: 50 turns of [[Thaumodynamic|+5% Mysticality stat gains]]
* Cool: 50 turns of [[So Fresh and So Clean|+5% Moxie stat gains]]
* Cold: Produces 3-4 {{plural|shard of double-ice}}, a combat item that staggers and deals mainstat-based {{element|Cold|}} damage and makes the monster {{element|Cold|}}-aligned, and can be multi-used to make [[Cold Comforts|icy equipment]].
|-
| data-sort-value="12" | May 2012
| align="center" | {{StackItem|Olympic-sized Clan crate}}<br>(VIP Lounge)
| 
* One pool item per day
* One swimming workout per day
| Can be [[Screwing Around!|jumped into]] and checked for treasure once per day, producing a swimming pool-related item.

Also provides one swimming workout per day, providing a choice of 50 turns of one of the following effects:
* [[Lapdog|+30% Initiative, +25 Stench Damage, +20 monster Level]]
* [[Silent Running|-5% Combat Frequency, decreased chance of random PvP attacks]]
|-
| data-sort-value="13" | July 2013
| align="center" | {{StackItem|Clan hot dog stand}}<br>(VIP Lounge)
| 
* Provides one fancy hot dog edible per day
* Competitive [[basic hot dog|hot dog overeating]]
| Installs a [[Hot Dog Stand]] in the [[Clan VIP Lounge]]. The hot dog man offers amusing advice and one fancy, awesome-quality hot dog per day. Fancy hot dogs must each be unlocked through a once-per-clan sacrifice of a rare item.

Attribute hot dogs are size-2, and give 50 turns of an effect that gives +50% to an attribute, +10% of an associated bonus, and +50% to two monster types, each corresponding to a [[Dreadsylvania]] zone:
* [[savage macho dog]]: [[Macho, Macho Dog|+50% Muscle, +10% Critical Hit Chance, +50% Damage vs. Bugbears and Werewolves]]
* [[one with everything]]: [[Inner Dog|+50% Mysticality, +10% Critical Spell Chance, +50% Damage vs. Zombies, +50 Damage vs. Ghosts]]
* [[sly dog]]: [[Top Dog|+50% Moxie, +10% Pickpocket Chance, +50% Damage vs. Skeletons and Vampires]]
Elemental hot dogs are size-3, and give 30 turns of an effect that gives +30 elemental Damage, +3 Resistance to the two elements weak to that element, and another bonus:
* [[devil dog]]: {{element|Hot|}}, gives 5 PvP Fights (not part of [[Devil Inside|effect]])
* [[chilly dog]]: {{element|Cold|}}, [[Chill Out, Dog|+10 Monster Level]]
* [[ghost dog]]: {{element|Spooky|}}, [[Scaredy Dog|-5% Combat Frequency]]
* [[junkyard dog]]: {{element|Stench|}}, [[Dog Breath|+5% Combat Frequency]]
* [[wet dog]]: {{element|Sleaze|}}, [[Hangdog|+20% Initiative]]
Miscellaneous dogs:
* [[optimal dog]]: Size-1, sets the [[Semi-Rare Adventures|semi-rare]] counter to 0, so a semi-rare encounter will occur next turn if appropriate
* [[sleeping dog]]: Size-2, grants the [[Dog Tired]] skill, which gives 5 free rests per day, and cannot be made permanent
* [[video games hot dog]]: Size-3, gives 2-3 each of [[red pixel|red]], [[blue pixel|blue]], and {{plural|green pixel}}, and 50 turns of [[Video Game Hot Dog|+25% Item and Meat Drops]]

Each fancy hot dog requires an item to be permanently unlocked, and also requires ingredients in the Stand to consume a hot dog.

The Stand also has [[basic hot dog]]s, which do not count as fancy hot dogs and give 1 Adventure for 1 Fullness. They may also be "eaten" when at maximum Fullness, which will instead cause exponentially increasing substat loss with each hot dog.
|-
| data-sort-value="14" | July 2014
| align="center" | {{StackItem|Clan speakeasy}}<br>(VIP Lounge)
| 
* Sells a variety of booze, up to three per day
* Booze effects include substats, [[Semi-Rare Adventures|semi-rare adventure]] tracking, various effects, PvP Fights, and others
| Opens [[A Speakeasy]] in the Clan VIP Lounge, which sells booze to be drank immediately. These drinks have varying qualities and effects, and up to three drinks may be purchased per day. Not all drinks are initially available, and must be unlocked with once-per-clan passwords.
*[[glass of "milk"]]/[[cup of "tea"]]/[[thermos of "whiskey"]] (250 Meat): Good, size-1, gives 75-100 substats of one attribute
*[[Lucky Lindy]] (500 Meat): Good, size-1, produces a number that is a counter until the next [[Semi-Rare Adventures|semi-rare adventure]]
*[[Bee's Knees]] (500 Meat): Awesome, size-2, gives 25 turns of [[On the Trolley|+100% to all attributes]]
*[[Sockdollager]] (500 Meat): Awesome, size-2, gives 25 turns of [[In a Lather|+20 Prismatic Damage, +40 Damage to spells of all elements, +20 Ranged Damage, +20 and +50% Weapon Damage, and +40 and +50% Spell Damage]]
*[[Ish Kabibble]] (500 Meat): Awesome, size-2, gives 25 turns of [[Feeling No Pain|+3 Resistance to All Elements, +10 Damage Reduction, and +100 Damage Absorption]]
*[[Hot Socks]] (5000 Meat): Awesome, size-3, gives 50 turns of [[Hip to the Jive|+2 Familiar experience per combat, +10 Familiar Weight, and +20 Familiar Damage]]
*[[Phonus Balonus]] (10,000 Meat): Awesome, size-3, also gives 5 PvP Fights
*[[Flivver]] (20000 Meat): EPIC, size-2, gives 10-20 to all substats and 50-90 MP
*[[Sloppy Jalopy]] (100,000 Meat): Awesome, size-5, gives 20-40 to all substats and the skill [[Hollow Leg]], which gives +1 Liver Capacity and cannot be made permanent
|-
| data-sort-value="16" | April 2016
| align="center" | {{StackItem|Clan Floundry}}<br>(VIP Lounge)
| 
* Rentable gear (1/day)
* +50%/+100% to one attribute
* +/- 10% [[Combat Frequency]]
* Various other enchantments, and potentially some quest-related items
| Provides one rentable equipment with powerful enchantments per day. In general, these equipment provide a large boost (+50%/+100%) to one attribute, and all but one provide +/- 10% Combat Frequency. The -10% combat frequency equipment can also be used once per day, providing various quest related items.
*[[carpe]] (back item): +50% Mysticality, +5-10 MP regeneration, +50% Meat Drops, +10% Combat Frequency
*[[codpiece]] (accessory): +100% Mysticality, +100 maximum MP, +50 Spell Damage, -10% Combat Frequency, gives 8 {{plural|bubblin' crude}}
*[[troutsers]] (200-power pants): +50% Moxie, +50% Pickpocket Chance, +11 Prismatic Damage, +5 Resistance to All Elements
*[[bass clarinet]] (1-handed ranged weapon): +100% Moxie, +50 Ranged Damage, -3 MP cost for skills, -10% Combat Frequency, gives 10 {{plural|white pixel}}
*[[fish hatchet]] (1-handed melee weapon): +100% Muscle, +50 Weapon Damage, -10% Combat Frequency, gives 5+5 [[The Orc Chasm|bridge parts]]
*[[tunac]] (100-power shirt): +50% Muscle, +25 Monster Level, +25% Item Drops, +10% Combat Frequency

Also provides a [[fishin' pole]], for [[Fishing Skill|fishing for fish around the Kingdom]]. Any fish caught are shared with the clan and used to purchase the above items.
|-
| data-sort-value="09" | Crimbo 2009
| align="center" | {{StackItem|Crimbough|5 Crimboughs}}<br>installs<br>[[A Crimbo Tree]]<br>(VIP Lounge)
| 
* A present every seven days
| After the seventh day of an Ascension, produces a present Gift Item. The Tree produces another item seven days after receiving a present. Each item autosells for 500 Meat.
|-
| data-sort-value="10" | Crimbo 2010
| align="center" | {{StackItem|deluxe fax machine}}<br>(VIP Lounge)
| 
* With the help of a faxbot, allows for one copied fight against almost any monster
| Produces a [[photocopied monster]] containing a copy of the last loaded monster in the clan. Photocopied monsters can also be loaded into fax machines to replace the previous monster. One faxed monster can be fought per day.

There is a [https://sourceforge.net/p/easyfax/code/HEAD/tree/list public Faxbot service (Easyfax)] which allows on-demand delivery of specific monsters into clan fax machines. This allows the fax machine to produce one fight against almost any copiable monster per day.
|}

==Mr. Store Item Derivatives==

Just as on the page containing non-restricted items, this section lists items and skills derived from Mr. Store items, but are available even without owning the original item. An asterisk (*) indicates the item is untradeable.

{| CELLPADDING=4 CELLSPACING=0 BORDER=1 
|-
! width="20%" | Source
! width="20%" | Item/Skill
! Summary
|-
| rowspan="2" | [[A Crimbo Tree]]
| bgcolor="#CCCCFF" | {{InlineItem|Summon Crimbo Candy}} ([[Crimbo Candy Cookbook|book]])
| A non-combat skill (3 MP) that summons three Crimbo candies, usable once per day. Each candy is a potion that gives 5 turns of [[Sugar Rush]] and 5 turns of an +5 to one attribute.
|-
| bgcolor="#FFFFCC" | {{InlineItem|Jack-in-the-Box}}
| A familiar that requires one combat to turn its crank to charge, then has a chance of increasing Item Drops and stat gains after combat. The values for both of these bonuses will be double that of a Fairy/Volleyball of the same weight.
|-
| {{InlineItem|reflection of a map}}*<br>({{InlineItem|"DRINK ME" potion}})
| bgcolor="#FFCC99" | {{InlineItem|ittah bittah hookah}}*
| A familiar equipment for any familiar that gives +5 Familiar Weight, and at the start of every 6th combat, gives 6 turns of a random non-detrimental effect.
|-
| rowspan="2" | [[The Tweedleporium]]
| bgcolor="#FFCC99" | {{InlineItem|stuffed pocketwatch}}
| Usable once per day, gives or takes away up to 10 Adventures.
|-
| bgcolor="#FFCC99" | {{InlineItem|helm of the white knight}}<br>{{InlineItem|wristwatch of the white knight}}<br>{{InlineItem|trousers of the white knight}}
| Components of the [[Knight's Armor]] outfit (bonus: +10% Pickpocket Chance).
|-
| [[Amazing Ideas]]
| bgcolor="#FFCC99" | {{InlineItem|s'more gun}}
| Usable on players to produce one [[s'more]] in that player's inventory, consuming one [[marshmallow]] per use. Each s'more eaten in an Ascension increases the fullness and Adventure yield of subsequent s'mores.
|-
| [[April Shower]]
| bgcolor="#FFCC99" | {{InlineItem|double-ice cap}}*<br>{{InlineItem|double-ice box}}*<br>{{InlineItem|double-ice britches}}*
| Components of the [[Cold Comforts]] outfit (bonus: +30 {{element|Cold|}} Damage and +30 Damage to {{element|Cold|}} Spells).
|-
| {{InlineItem|homemade robot}}*<br>({{InlineItem|home robotics kit}})
| bgcolor="#FFFFCC" | {{InlineItem|Homemade Robot}}
| A familiar that does cute things in combat, and does not gain weight from experience. Using [[pile of useless robot parts]] permanently increases the Robot's weight by 11 pounds, up to 100 pounds.
|-
| [[A Couch Next To A Jar]]
| bgcolor="#FFCC99" | {{InlineItem|Truthsayer}}*<br>{{InlineItem|Byte}}*<br>{{InlineItem|Sword of Procedural Generation}}*<br>{{InlineItem|Meatcleaver}}*<br>{{InlineItem|Bloodbath}}*<br>{{InlineItem|Ginsu™}}*<br>{{InlineItem|White Dragon Fang}}*
| Sword weapons, each with 20-40 Damage and 200 Muscle requirements, two-handed unless otherwise stated. Respectively:
* One-handed, +12 Monster Level and +40% Weapon Damage, and shouts conspiracy theories on Critical Hits.
* One-handed, +100% Spell Damage and +15% Critical Spell Chance.
* Has 5 randomized enchantments unique to each player, generated upon acquiring.
* +35% Meat Drops and +100% Weapon Damage.
* +2 Resistance to All Elements and +25-30 HP/MP regeneration.
* +100% Food Drops and +100% Weapon Damage.
* One-handed, gives +9% to all attributes, +9 Prismatic Damage, and +9 MP regeneration.
|-
| [[The GameInformPowerDailyPro Dungeon]]<br>({{InlineItem|GameInformPowerDailyPro magazine}})
| bgcolor="#FFCC99" | {{InlineItem|Helm of the Scream Emperor}}*<br>{{InlineItem|Cloak of Dire Shadows}}*<br>{{InlineItem|Sword of Dark Omens}}*<br>{{InlineItem|Shield of Icy Fate}}*<br>{{InlineItem|Greaves of the Murk Lord}}*<br>{{InlineItem|Gauntlets of the Blood Moon}}*<br>{{InlineItem|Boots of Twilight Whispers}}*<br>{{InlineItem|Belt of Howling Anger}}*
| Components of the [[Raiments of the Final Boss]] outfit (bonus: +10% to all attributes).

Each item gives +5% to all attributes, two other bonuses, and has no stat requirement for equipping.
|-
| {{InlineItem|fancy tin beer can}}
| bgcolor="#FFCC99" | {{InlineItem|tin snips}}
| A reusable combat item that causes bleeding damage each round.
|-
| [[Pocket Crumbs|Pocket lint]]
| bgcolor="#FFCC99" | {{InlineItem|bowl of petunias}}*
| An offhand item that gives +4 to all attributes, +4 Stats per fight, +4 PvP Fights at Rollover, and +4-8 HP/MP regeneration.
|-
| rowspan="2" | [[Winter Gardening]]
| bgcolor="#CCCCCC" | {{InlineItem|ice house}}
|A combat item that banishes a monster, where it is kept in [[The Museum]]. It remains banished even though Rollover and Ascension (if this item is not restricted), until another ice house is used on another monster, or is [[Adventures Who Live in Ice Houses...|manually freed]].
|-
| bgcolor="#CCCCCC" | {{InlineItem|snow machine}}
|A workshed item that produces a [[snow berries]] and an [[ice harvest]] upon harvesting a [[Garden]].
|-
| rowspan="3" | [[Buff Jimmy's Souvenir Shop]]<br>({{InlineItem|one-day ticket to Spring Break Beach}})
| bgcolor="#CCCCFF" | {{InlineItem|Unoffendable}} ([[History's Most Offensive Jokes, Vol. IX|book]])
| A passive +3 {{element|Sleaze|}} Resistance skill.
|-
| bgcolor="#CCCCFF" | {{InlineItem|Grease Up}} ([[Now You're Cooking With Grease|book]])
|A non-combat skill (15 MP) that gives [[Takin' It Greasy|10 turns]] of +15 {{element|Sleaze|}} Damage. While this effect is active, gives the combat skill [[Unleash the Greash]], which consumes all turns of the effect and does proportional {{element|Sleaze|}} damage based on the number of turns consumed.
|-
| bgcolor="#FFCC99" | {{InlineItem|Brogre brolo shirt}}*<br>{{InlineItem|Brogre brorts}}*<br>{{InlineItem|Brogre bucket hat}}*
|Components of the [[Brogre Brouture]] outfit (bonus: +50% Muscle).
|-
| {{InlineItem|Xiblaxian holo-buddy simcode}}
| bgcolor="#FFFFCC" | {{InlineItem|Xiblaxian Holo-Companion}}
|A familiar that increases Initiative by double its weight like an [[Oily Woim]] and staggers like a [[Levitating Potato]].
|-
| {{InlineItem|Xiblaxian 5D printer}}*<br>({{InlineItem|Xiblaxian cache locator simcode}})
| bgcolor="#FFCC99" |{{InlineItem|Xiblaxian stealth cowl}}*<br>{{InlineItem|Xiblaxian stealth vest}}*<br>{{InlineItem|Xiblaxian stealth trousers}}*
|Components of the [[Xiblaxian Stealth Suit]] outfit (bonus: +10% to all attributes).

Each item gives -5% Combat Frequency and +20% to a different attribute.
|-
| rowspan="3" | [[The Armory]]
| bgcolor="#CCCCFF" | {{InlineItem|Hypersane}} ([[Merc Core Field Manual: Sanity Maintenance|book]])
|A passive +3 {{element|Spooky|}} Resistance skill.
|-
| bgcolor="#CCCCFF" |{{InlineItem|Intimidating Mien (skill)|Intimidating Mien}} ([[Merc Core Field Manual: Intimidation Techniques|book]])
|A non-combat skill (15 MP) that gives [[Intimidating Mien (effect)|10 turns]] of +15 {{element|Spooky|}} Damage. While this effect is active, gives the combat skill [[Thousand-Yard Stare]], which consumes all turns of the effect and does two hits of proportional {{element|Spooky|}} damage based on the number of turns consumed.
|-
| bgcolor="#FFCC99" | {{InlineItem|mercenary pistol}}
| A 1-handed ranged weapon that gives +10 to all attributes, prevents fumbling, and allows use of [[specialty ammo bandolier|special clips]] as combat items when equipped, dealing multiple hits of Moxie-based elemental damage.
|-
| rowspan="2" | [[Tales of Spelunking (area)#Rewards|Tales of Spelunking leaderboard]]<br>({{InlineItem|Tales of Spelunking (item)}})
| bgcolor="#CCCCFF" | {{InlineItem|Speluck}} ([[Spelunker of Fortune|book]])
|A passive skill that grants +5% Item Drops and +10% Meat Drops in [[:Category:Underground Locations|Underground Locations]].
|-
| bgcolor="#FFCC99" | {{InlineItem|Spelunker's fedora}}*<br>{{InlineItem|Spelunker's whip}}*<br>{{InlineItem|Spelunker's khakis}}*
| Components of the [[Spelunker's Gear]] outfit (bonus: +15% Critical Hit Chance). Respectively:
* Hat, +10% to all attributes, +4 Adventures at Rollover, +2 Stats per fight
* 1-handed melee weapon, +25% Weapon Damage, +10% Item Drops, +5 Familiar Weight
* Pants, +25% Initiative, +4-8 HP/MP regeneration, +5% Combat Frequency
|-
| rowspan="5" | [[The Dinsey Company Store]]<br>({{InlineItem|one-day ticket to Dinseylandfill}})
| bgcolor="#CCCCFF" | {{InlineItem|Olfactory Burnout}} ([[Scratch-and-Sniff Guide to Dinseylandfill|book]])
|A passive +3 {{element|Stench|}} Resistance skill.
|-
| bgcolor="#CCCCFF" | {{InlineItem|Garbage Nova}} ([[Trash, a Memoir|book]])
|A combat skill (50 MP) that deals {{element|Stench|}} damage, scaling with Mysticality and Spell Damage. When used against group monsters, this skill's damage is multiplied by half the number of monsters in the group.
|-
| bgcolor="#FFCC99" | {{InlineItem|stinky fannypack}}*
|An accessory that gives +25 {{element|Stench|}} Damage, +25 Damage to {{element|Stench|}} Spells, and +40% Item Drops in Elemental Airport zones.
|-
| bgcolor="#FFCC99" | {{InlineItem|garbage sticker}}*
|A 1-handed weapon that gives +20% Item Drops for certain item types, +30% Meat Drops, and produces 90-110 Meat after combats that cost an Adventure and do not drop Meat.
|-
| bgcolor="#FFCC99" | {{InlineItem|hazmat helmet}}*
|A 200-power hat that gives +50 Damage Absorption, +2 Resistance to All Elements, +40-60 HP regeneration, prevents 75% of negative status attacks, and changes the player avatar.
|-
| {{InlineItem|inert sludgepuppy}}*<br>({{InlineItem|toxic globule}})
| bgcolor="#FFFFCC" | {{InlineItem|Sludgepuppy}}
| A familiar that does three instances of {{element|Stench|}} damage per round and staggers like a [[Levitating Potato]].
|-
| rowspan="2" | [[Wart Dinsey]]
| bgcolor="#FFCC99" | {{InlineItem|Dinsey's brain}}*<br>{{InlineItem|Dinsey's pizza cutter}}*<br>{{InlineItem|Dinsey's radar dish}}*<br>{{InlineItem|Dinsey's pants}}*<br>{{InlineItem|Dinsey's oculus}}*<br>{{InlineItem|Dinsey's glove}}*
|Components of the [[Dinsey's Exoskeleton]] outfit (bonus: +100 to all attributes). Respectively:
* Hat, +30 Damage to {{element|Stench|}} Spells, +30% Mysticality
* 1-handed utensil, +50% Spell Damage, +2 Resistance to All Elements, [[Utensil Twist]] deals 50% of the monster's current HP in damage
* Shield, +15 Damage Reduction, +8-10 MP regeneration, deals increasing passive damage each round
* Pants, +15 damage and +50% deleveling to Disco Bandit combat skills
* Accessory, +40% Initiative, +30% Muscle
* Accessory, +30 damage to Accordion Thief combat skills, +30% Moxie
|-
| bgcolor="#CCCCFF" | {{InlineItem|Rotten Memories (skill)|Rotten Memories}} ([[Wart Dinsey: An Afterlife|book]])
|A non-combat skill (15 MP) that gives [[Rotten Memories (effect)|10 turns]] of +15 {{element|Stench|}} Damage.
|-
| [[Deck of Every Card]]<br>({{InlineItem|gift card}})
| bgcolor="#CCCCFF" | {{InlineItem|Healing Salve}}<br>{{InlineItem|Dark Ritual}}<br>{{InlineItem|Lightning Bolt (Deck of Every Card)|Lightning Bolt}}<br>{{InlineItem|Giant Growth}}<br>{{InlineItem|Ancestral Recall}}
|These skills require and consume a colored mana, also obtained from the Deck or gift card. Respectively:
* Restores 3000 HP ([[white mana]], combat) 
* Restores 3000 MP ([[black mana]], non-combat)
* Deals 3000 damage ([[red mana]], combat)
* Grants one turn of [[Giant Growth (effect)|+300% to all attributes]] ([[green mana]], combat)
* Grants 3 Adventures, can be used up to 10 times per day ([[blue mana]], non-combat)
|-
| rowspan="3" | [[Disco GiftCo]]<br>({{InlineItem|one-day ticket to That 70s Volcano}})
| bgcolor="#CCCCFF" | {{InlineItem|Asbestos Heart}} ([[Lava Miner's Daughter|book]])
|A passive +3 {{element|Hot|}} Resistance skill.
|-
| bgcolor="#CCCCFF" | {{InlineItem|Pyromania (skill)|Pyromania}} ([[Psycho From The Heat|book]])
|A non-combat skill (15 MP) that gives [[Pyromania (effect)|10 turns]] of +15 {{element|Hot|}} Damage.
|-
| bgcolor="#FFCC99" | {{InlineItem|biker's hat}}*<br>{{InlineItem|feathered headdress}}*<br>{{InlineItem|electrician's hardhat}}*
|A hat that gives +40% Moxie, +40% Booze Drops, and +20% Pickpocket chance.<br>A hat that gives +40% Mysticality, +40% Food Drops, and +10-20 MP regeneration.<br>A hat that gives +40% Muscle, +40 Weapon Damage, and +20-40 HP regeneration.
|-
| [[The SMOOCH Army HQ]]
| bgcolor="#FFCC99" | {{InlineItem|love}}*
| A ranged weapon that gives +50% Pants Drops, +5 Familiar Weight, and +8-16 HP/MP regeneration.
|-
| [[LavaCo™ Lamp Factory]]
| bgcolor="#FFCC99" | {{InlineItem|Mr. Cheeng's spectacles}}*
| An accessory that gives +15% Item Drops, +10% Critical Spell Chance, +30% Spell Damage, and occasionally gives a random potion after combat.
|-
| {{InlineItem|tiny barrel}}
| bgcolor="#FFFFCC" | {{InlineItem|Lil' Barrel Mimic}}
|A familiar that increases stat gains after combat like a Volleyball, and sometimes gives an item after combat. Possible items include burritos, boozes, substat-granting spleen items, and HP or MP restorers.
|-
| [[cuppa Royal tea|Weekly Royalty leaderboard]]
| bgcolor="#FFCC99" | {{InlineItem|Royal scepter}}*
| An off-hand item that gives +4 Adventures, +8 PvP Fights, and 5 turns of [[It's Good To Be Royal!|+200% to all attributes, maximum HP/MP, Weapon Damage, and Spell Damage]] at Rollover.
|-
| rowspan="4" | [[Wal-Mart]]<br>({{InlineItem|one-day ticket to The Glaciest}})
| bgcolor="#CCCCFF" | {{InlineItem|Refusal to Freeze}} ([[To Build an Igloo|book]])
|A passive +3 {{element|Cold|}} Resistance skill.
|-
| bgcolor="#CCCCFF" | {{InlineItem|Beardfreeze}} ([[The Chill of the Wild|book]])
|A non-combat skill (15 MP) that gives [[Frostbeard|10 turns]] of +15 {{element|Cold|}} Damage.
|-
| bgcolor="#CCCCFF" | {{InlineItem|Frost Bite}} ([[Cold Fang|book]])
|A combat skill (50 MP) that deals physical and {{element|Cold|}} damage, and stuns for 2-3 rounds. Can be used only once per combat.
|-
| bgcolor="#FFCC99" | {{InlineItem|Wal-Mart snowglobe}}*<br>{{InlineItem|Wal-Mart nametag}}*<br>{{InlineItem|Wal-Mart overalls}}*
|An off-hand item that gives +40% Muscle, +4 Muscle Stats per fight, and +5 Familiar Weight.<br>An accessory that gives +40% Mysticaility, +4 Mysticaility Stats per fight, and +10% Critical Spell Chance.<br>Pants that give +40% Moxie, +4 Moxie Stats per fight, and +30% Initiative.
|-
|[[The Ice Hotel]]
| bgcolor="#CCCCFF" | {{InlineItem|Perfect Freeze}} ([[The Fun-Guy Cold Weather Bartender's Guide|book]])
|A non-combat skill (5 MP) that can be used once per day, and produces a [[perfect ice cube]].
|-
| {{InlineItem|Batfellow comic}}
| bgcolor="#FFCC99" | {{InlineItem|The Jokester's wig}}<br>{{InlineItem|The Jokester's gun}}<br>{{InlineItem|The Jokester's pants}}
|Components of [[The Jokester's Costume]] outfit (bonus: +25% Item Drops and +50% Meat Drops). Respectively:
* 200-power hat, +6-8 MP regeneration, +10 Monster Level, +25 {{element|Spooky|}} Damage. Grants the combat skill [[Adjust the Jokester's Wig]] (0 MP), usable once per day to stagger and give 100 turns of [[Behind the Green Curtain|+9 Spooky Resistance]].
* 1-handed ranged weapon, +5 Prismatic Damage, +25% Initiative, +50% Pants Drops. Grants the combat skill [[Fire the Jokester's Gun]] (0 MP), usable once per day to instantly kill a monster and make the fight a free fight.
* 200-power pants, +6-8 HP regeneration, +20% Moxie, never fumble. Grants the combat skill [[Adjust the Jokester's Pants]] (0 MP) to stagger and deal {{element|Sleaze|}} Damage.
|-
| rowspan="3" | [[X-32-F Combat Training Snowman]]
| bgcolor="#CCCCFF" | {{InlineItem|Shattering Punch}} ([[Training scroll: Shattering Punch|book]])
| A combat skill (30 MP) that instantly kills a monster and makes the fight a free fight. Can be used three times per day.
|-
| bgcolor="#CCCCFF" | {{InlineItem|Snokebomb}} ([[training scroll: Snokebomb|book]])
| A combat skill (50 MP) that is a free runaway and 30-turn banish. Can be used three times per day.
|-
| bgcolor="#CCCCFF" | {{InlineItem|Shivering Monkey Technique}} ([[training scroll: Shivering Monkey Technique|book]])
| A passive +15% Initative skill.
|-
| rowspan="2" | [[LT&T Gift Shop]]
| bgcolor="#CCCCFF" | {{InlineItem|Bend Hell}} ([[Hell and How I Bent It|book]])<br>{{InlineItem|Bow-Legged Swagger (skill)|Bow-Legged Swagger}} ([[Tales of Western Braggadoccio|book]])<br>{{InlineItem|Steely-Eyed Squint (skill)|Steely-Eyed Squint}} ([[The Western Look|book]])
|Non-combat skills (100 MP) that can each be used once per day, giving 1 turn of an effect that doubles certain bonuses, respectively:
* [[Bendin' Hell|Elemental Weapon and Elemental Spell Damage]]
* [[Bow-Legged Swagger (effect)|Weapon Damage and Initiative]]
* [[Steely-Eyed Squint (effect)|Item Drops]]
|-
| bgcolor="#CCCCCC" | {{InlineItem|Western Slang Vol. 1: Violence}}<br>{{InlineItem|Western Slang Vol. 2: Cooking}}<br>{{InlineItem|Western Slang Vol. 3: Fraud}}
| When used, permanently unlocks the last three skills of the respective [[Avatar of West of Loathing]] class for learning:
* Cow Puncher: [[Unleash Cowrruption]], [[Hard Drinker]], [[Walk: Cautious Prowl]]
* Beanslinger: [[Beancannon]], [[Prodigious Appetite]], [[Walk: Prideful Strut]]
* Snake Oiler: [[Long Con]], [[Tolerant Constitution]], [[Walk: Leisurely Amble]]
These items are free pulls from Hagnk's.
|-
| {{InlineItem|shuddering cow skull}}
| bgcolor="#FFFFCC" | {{InlineItem|Restless Cow Skull}}
|A familiar that staggers like a Potato and additionally attacks with {{element|Spooky|}} damage. With [[Cowrruption]] active, attacks deal more damage and are more frequent.
|-
| rowspan="2" | [[Investigating a Plaintive Telegram]]<br>({{InlineItem|inflatable LT&T telegraph office}})
| bgcolor="#FFCC99" | {{InlineItem|porquoise-handled sixgun}}*
| A reusable combat item that deals 35 damage and restores 20-30 MP, once per combat.
|-
| bgcolor="#FFCC99" | {{InlineItem|Clara's bell}}*
| Gives a "hidden effect" when used, once per day, that effectively forces the next encounter to be a non-combat, if appropriate for that zone. This "effect" disappears after a valid non-combat encounter.
|-
| [[Internet Meme Shop]]
| bgcolor="#FFCC99" | {{InlineItem|infinite BACON machine}}*
| Produces 100 [[BACON]] when used, once per day, which can be spent at the [[Internet Meme Shop]] from which it originated.
|-
| {{InlineItem|software bug}}
| bgcolor="#FFFFCC" | {{InlineItem|Software Bug}}
| A familiar that should not do anything, hopefully.
|-
|[[Precinct Materiel Division]]
| bgcolor="FFCC99" | {{InlineItem|noir fedora}}<br>{{InlineItem|trench coat}}
| A hat (200 power, 100 Moxie requirement) that gives +20% Moxie stat gains, +20% Moxie, and +8-10 HP/MP regeneration.<br>A shirt (200 power, 100 Muscle requirement) that gives +20% Muscle stat gains, +20% Muscle, and +4 {{element|Spooky|}} Resistance.
|-
|[[A traveling Thanksgiving salesman]]
| bgcolor="FFCC99" | {{InlineItem|gravy boat}}
| A 100-power hat that halves damage from Undead monsters, and decreases Evil by 1 after every combat in [[The Cyrpt]].
|-
| rowspan="5" | [[Gingerbread City]]<br>({{InlineItem|counterfeit city}})
| bgcolor="CCCCFF" | {{InlineItem|Licorice Rope}} ([[The Gingerbread Vigilante's Handbook|book]])
| A combat skill (0 MP) that instakills and banishes a gingerbread man for the rest of the day, forfeiting stat gains for the fight.
|-
| bgcolor="CCCCFF" | {{InlineItem|Gingerbread Mob Hit}} ([[My Life of Crime, a Memoir|book]])
| A combat skill (30 MP) that instantly kills a monster and makes the fight a free fight, usable once per day.
|-
| bgcolor="CCCCFF" | {{InlineItem|Fifteen Minutes of Flame}} ([[Pop Art: a Guide|book]])
| A non-combat skill (50 MP) that gives [[Your Fifteen Minutes|15 turns]] of +15 {{element|Hot|}} Damage, +15 Damage to {{element|Hot|}} Spells, and +15% Initiative.
|-
| bgcolor="CCCCFF" | {{InlineItem|Ceci N'Est Pas Un Chapeau}} ([[No Hats as Art|book]])
| A non-combat skill (300 MP) that gives [[no hat]], a hat (200 power, 150 Moxie requirement) with a random enchantment, and disappears after Rollover. This skill is usable once per day.
|-
| bgcolor="#FFFFCC" | {{InlineItem|Chocolate Lab}}*
| Increases Item Drops like a Fairy and also increases [[Sprinkles]] Drops by 1% per pound.
|-
| rowspan="3" | [[Through the Spacegate]]
| bgcolor="CCCCFF" | {{InlineItem|Quantum Movement}} ([[Space Pirate Astrogation Handbook|book]])
| A passive +20% Initiative skill.
|-
| bgcolor="CCCCFF" | {{InlineItem|5-D Earning Potential}} ([[Non-Euclidean Finance|book]])
| A passive +20% Meat Drops skill.
|-
| bgcolor="CCCCFF" | {{InlineItem|Object Quasi-Permanence}} ([[Peek-a-Boo!|book]])
| A passive +10% Item Drops skill.
|-
| rowspan="4" | [[Spacegate Fabrication Facility]]
| bgcolor="CCCCFF" | {{InlineItem|Disintegrate}} ([[Spacegate emergency disintegrator|book]])
| A combat skill (150 MP) that is a [[Yellow ray strategy|Yellow Ray]], with a 100-turn [[Everything Looks Yellow|cooldown]].
|-
| bgcolor="FFCC99" | {{InlineItem|Spacegate scientist's insignia}}<br>{{InlineItem|Spacegate military insignia}}
| Accessories that respectively give +6 Adventures or PvP Fights at Rollover. Each item also gives 30 turns of [[Spirit of Galactic Unity|+10 Familiar Weight]] at Rollover.
|-
| bgcolor="FFCC99" | {{InlineItem|Spacegate diplomat's insignia}}
| An accessory that gives +25% Moxie, +25% Initiative, and +25% Meat Drops.
|-
| bgcolor="FFCC99" | {{InlineItem|primitive alien totem}}
| An off-hand that gives +25 Damage Reduction, +2-4 HP/MP regeneration, +25 {{element|Spooky|}} Damage, and allows casting 30-turn Turtle Tamer buffs while owned.
|-
| rowspan="2" | {{InlineItem|metal meteoroid}} 
| bgcolor="FFCC99" | {{InlineItem|meteortarboard}}*<br>{{InlineItem|meteorite guard}}*<br>{{InlineItem|asteroid belt}}*<br>{{InlineItem|meteorthopedic shoes}}*<br>{{InlineItem|shooting morning star}}*
| Components of the [[Meteor Masquerade]] outfit (bonus: +50% Meat Drops). Respectively: 
* 100-power hat, +4-8 MP regeneration, +15% Mysticality, +10% Critical Spell Chance
* Shield, +9 Damage Reduction, +3 {{element|Hot|}} and {{element|Stench|}} Resistance, prevents 75% of negative status attacks
* Accessory, +10 Monster Level, +50% Ranged Damage, staggers on 25% of enemy attacks
* Accessory, +30% Initiative, +15% Moxie, +5 Adventures at Rollover
* 1-handed melee weapon, +15% Muscle, +15 {{element|Hot|}} Damage, delevels by 10-15 on hit
|-
| bgcolor="FFCC99" | {{InlineItem|meteorb}}*
| An off-hand item that gives +5 Mysticality, +10 maximum MP, and is a [[Rain-Doh green lantern|red lantern]], adding {{element|Hot|}} Damage to spells, equal to the highest damage dealt by one of the spell's elements. 
This item can take the place of the meteorite guard to complete the Meteor Masquerade outfit.
|-
| {{InlineItem|cute meteoroid}}
| bgcolor="#FFFFCC" | {{InlineItem|Cute Meteor}}
| A familiar that increases Initiative like an [[Oily Woim]] and deals {{element|Hot|}} damage in combat.
|-
| [[Rubbed it the Right Way]]<br>({{InlineItem|pocket wish}})
| bgcolor="#CCCCCC" | {{InlineItem|magical pony: Dusk Shiny}}<br>{{InlineItem|magical pony: Shutterfly}}<br>{{InlineItem|magical pony: Pearjack}}<br>{{InlineItem|magical pony: Uniquity}}<br>{{InlineItem|magical pony: Rosey Cake}}<br>{{InlineItem|magical pony: Spectrum Dash}}
| A set of Gift Items. Having one or more of these items in a Display Case confers Magical Pony Power to the owner, with increasing intensity with greater numbers of ponies.
|}