View source for User:Cool12309

{{OysterLocations|
e1=[[red paisley oyster egg]]|
e2=[[yellow polka-dot oyster egg]]
}}

[[Bees Hate You|Bees]] [[Bugbear Invasion|Invade]] [[Slow and Steady|Slow]] [[KOLHS|School]]'s [[Class Act II: A Class For Pigs|Pig Class]]; [[Avatar of Boris|Boris's]] [[BIG!|Big]] [[Picky]] [[Way of the Surprising Fist|Fist]] [[Zombie Slayer|Slays]] [[Avatar of Sneaky Pete|Pete's]] & [[Avatar of Jarlsberg|Jarlsberg's]] [[Trendy]] [[Heavy Rains|Raincoats]].

These copiers need the "no longer copyable" message: [[envyfish egg]], [[ice sculpture]], [[Spooky Putty monster]] (and technically the [[wax bugbear]] but we're never going to get that one).

*vanilla, named param: {{/Template|path=desc_item.php?whichitem=839503923}}
*vanilla, unnamed param: {{/Template|desc_item.php?whichitem=839503923}}
*mafia, named param: {{/Template|mafia=1|path=desc_item.php?whichitem=839503923}}
*mafia, unnamed param: {{/Template|mafia=1|desc_item.php?whichitem=839503923}}

Donate:

(bluebar) Just kidding.

We don't sell extra Adventures, because we think that would be gross and exploitative! But speaking of gross and exploitative... since you're here...

Welcome to my messy user page. I became an administrator of the wiki on September 23, 2013. If you need anything from me or any help, leave a message on my talk page.

==Jick Smooches Me==
/hardcore, April 12, 2015, EDT

<blockquote>[18:13:44] Cool12309: Why are trivials posted in chat but not updates?<br />[18:14:10] Jick: They're often too long.

[18:15:02] Cool12309: Hey Jick, while you're here, can you tell us why/when actual tapas are going to drop?<br />
[18:15:33] The Amazing Mr Toothpaste: That was going to be my question to the podcast in a few weeks.<br />
[18:16:10] The Amazing Mr Toothpaste: Although as soon as they drop, having them in my consumption history is no longer special.<br />
[18:16:30] Jick: Oh, lemme look at that tapas.<br />
[18:21:30] Jick: There. Tapas drapas.<br />
[18:22:09] Cool12309: This is trivial announcement worthy. Or maybe even full update worthy.<br />
[18:22:41] tHE eROsIoNseEker: Quantum tapas prestige destroyed.

[18:24:52] Cool12309: Also item ID in item descriptions? If you did that I'd love you even more forever, Jick/CDM/whoever<br />
[18:25:02] Cool12309: (Let's exploit Jick's presence! :D)<br />
[18:25:23] Jick: Just, like, in a comment, cool?<br />
[18:26:04] Cool12309: Like how effect IDs are in effect descriptions<br />
[18:26:14] Jick: They are?<br />
[18:26:18] Cool12309: yes<br />
[18:26:32] Cool12309: <!<nowiki></nowiki>-- effectid: 1570 --><br />
[18:26:37] Jick: Ah.<br />
[18:26:53] Cool12309: I think someone asked and CDM added it<br />
[18:28:47] Cool12309: <!<nowiki></nowiki>-- itemid: 7293 --><br />
[18:28:53] Cool12309: Jick. I think I'm in love with you.<br />
[18:30:23] Jick smooches Cool12309.<br />
[18:31:20] Cool12309 swoons<br />

[18:36:20] Cool12309: Hm, if you're still here Jick, why do elemental wads say they're meatsmithing ingredients but do not meatsmith into anything? Is there undiscovered content, a leftover from some testing, or just an error?<br />
[18:36:45] Jick: They were part of a plan that never happened, Cool.<br />
[18:36:58] Cool12309: Is there a plan to make them happen?<br />
[18:37:03] Jick: Probably not.<br />
[18:37:19] Jick: Meatsmithing is pretty comprehensively ignored.<br />
[18:37:20] tHE eROsIoNseEker: Twinkly gems?<br />
[18:37:32] YOjImboS_law: oh, how about the pizza revamp?<br />
[18:37:42] yojIMBoS_lAw: can it make TTs the best HC class? :D<br />
[18:37:42] Jick: Heh. One of these days.<br />
[18:37:43] Loathmast: Jick, thank you for making Hobopolis<br />
[18:37:47] DrMotives: The horadric pizza cube?<br />
[18:37:50] Jick: You're welcome!

[18:39:17] Loathmast: Jick, will there ever be more Alices Army content?<br />
[18:39:22] Jick: Probably not.

[18:41:13] YOJiMbOs_law: oh yeah, are there going to be commendations for Standard?<br />[18:41:24] Jick: Haven't decided yet, Yoj.</blockquote>

==100% Completion==
So my goals for 100% completion only apply to me and they might not be even close to realistic, but these would be what I consider "necessary" to attain 100% completion on my account:
*Collect all familiars.
**Complete at least one 100% run with each familiar.
*Collect all trophies and tattoos (making sure to max them out where applicable)
*Hardcore perm every skill.
**Max out every skill (11 {{plural|beautiful rainbow}}, 10 each of {{plural|slime-soaked brain}}, {{plural|slime-soaked hypophysis}}, {{plural|slime-soaked sweat gland}}).
*Attain enough "skill" points in each challenge path such that you can start the run out fully maxed.
**30 [[Avatar of Boris]], 30 [[Zombie Slayer]], 32 [[Avatar of Jarlsberg]], 21 [[KOLHS]] (to max out the [[Yearbook Club Camera]]), 30 [[Avatar of Sneaky Pete]], 9 [[Heavy Rains]].
*Find all discoveries.
*Consume every food and booze at least once.
*Collect all factoids.
*Attain access to all chat channels.

*I might have a few new demon names missing?
*Probably missing a few arcade item unlocks.
*Missing 1 hobocobo code.
*Make all of bumcheekcity snapshot green that is not listed above (mostly collect the various item sets).

==3446 Bug==
First noticed on June 27, 2014 in a bug report at 12:57 PM PDT by an undisclosed person, a bug was found that all items with an item ID between the range of 2081 through 5526 (inclusive) did not show when browsing someone's store or through the Inventory Management interface when adding items to the store. They were also not showing in the Favorite Food/Booze pages (or next to those words on people's profiles, public and private). They were showing fine when equipped and in the closet, DC, Hagnk's, and inventory. They are also showing when searched through the mall, but buying them did not place anything in their store logs. It was first seen fixed at 2:27 PM PDT on the same day.

==WarBear Gear==
Hats
{| cellpadding="3" cellspacing="0" border="1px" style="text-align:center; border-collapse:collapse; margin:1em auto;"
!Image
!Name
!Enchantment
|-
|[[File:wbhat1.gif]]<br />wbhat1
|[[warbear plain fedora]]
| +5% Item Drops from WarBears<br />Combat Initiative +25%<br />Maximum HP/MP +50
|-
|[[File:wbhat2.gif]]<br />wbhat2
|[[warbear feathered fedora]]
| +10% Item Drops from WarBears
|-
|[[File:wbhat3.gif]]<br />wbhat3
|[[warbear fancy fedora]]
| +15% Item Drops from WarBears<br />Combat Initiative -25%<br />Maximum HP/MP -50
|-
|[[File:wbhat4.gif]]<br />wbhat4
|[[warbear plain helm]]
| +20 WarBear Armor Penetration<br />Weapon Damage +25%<br />Spell Damage +50%
|-
|[[File:wbhat5.gif]]<br />wbhat5
|[[warbear spiked helm]]
| +40 WarBear Armor Penetration
|-
|[[File:wbhat6.gif]]<br />wbhat6
|[[warbear electro-spiked helm]]
| +60 WarBear Armor Penetration<br />Troubling Vulnerability to All Elements (-5)<br />All Attributes -25%
|-
|[[File:wbhat7.gif]]<br />wbhat7
|[[warbear plain ushanka]]
| Slight Supercold Resistance<br />So-So Resistance to All Elements (+2)<br />Regenerate 10-15 HP and MP per adventure
|-
|[[File:wbhat8.gif]]<br />wbhat8
|[[warbear lined ushanka]]
| So-So Supercold Resistance
|-
|[[File:wbhat9.gif]]<br />wbhat9
|[[warbear heated ushanka]]
| Serious Supercold Resistance<br />Weapon Damage -25%<br />Spell Damage -50%
|}
Pants
{| cellpadding="3" cellspacing="0" border="1px" style="text-align:center; border-collapse:collapse; margin:1em auto;"
!Image
!Name
!Enchantment
|-
|[[File:wbpants1.gif]]<br />wbpants1
|[[warbear party pants]]
| +5% Item Drops from WarBears<br />Combat Initiative +25%<br />Maximum HP/MP +50
|-
|[[File:wbpants2.gif]]<br />wbpants2
|[[warbear ceremonial party pants]]
| +10% Item Drops from WarBears
|-
|[[File:wbpants3.gif]]<br />wbpants3
|[[warbear high festival pants]]
| +15% Item Drops from WarBears<br />Combat Initiative -25%<br />Maximum HP/MP -50
|-
|[[File:wbpants4.gif]]<br />wbpants4
|[[warbear battle greaves]]
| +20 WarBear Armor Penetration<br />Weapon Damage +25%<br />Spell Damage +50%
|-
|[[File:wbpants5.gif]]<br />wbpants5
|[[warbear officer greaves]]
| +40 WarBear Armor Penetration
|-
|[[File:wbpants6.gif]]<br />wbpants6
|[[warbear bearserker greaves]]
| +60 WarBear Armor Penetration<br />Troubling Vulnerability to All Elements (-5)<br />All Attributes -25%
|-
|[[File:wbpants7.gif]]<br />wbpants7
|[[warbear long johns]]
| Slight Supercold Resistance<br />So-So Resistance to All Elements (+2)<br />Regenerate 10-15 HP and MP per adventure
|-
|[[File:wbpants8.gif]]<br />wbpants8
|[[warbear fleece-lined long johns]]
| So-So Supercold Resistance
|-
|[[File:wbpants9.gif]]<br />wbpants9
|[[warbear electric long johns]]
| Serious Supercold Resistance<br />Weapon Damage -25%<br />Spell Damage -50%
|}
Accessories
{| cellpadding="3" cellspacing="0" border="1px" style="text-align:center; border-collapse:collapse; margin:1em auto;"
!Image
!Name
!Enchantment
|-
|[[File:wbbowtie1.gif]]<br />wbbowtie1
|[[warbear laser bowtie]]
| +20 WarBear Armor Penetration<br />Weapon Damage +25%<br />Spell Damage +50%
|-
|[[File:wbbowtie2.gif]]<br />wbbowtie2
|[[warbear plasma bowtie]]
| +40 WarBear Armor Penetration
|-
|[[File:wbbowtie3.gif]]<br />wbbowtie3
|[[warbear nuclear bowtie]]
| +60 WarBear Armor Penetration<br />Troubling Vulnerability to All Elements (-5)<br />All Attributes -25%
|-
|[[File:wbgoggles1.gif]]<br />wbgoggles1
|[[warbear goggles]]
| +5% Item Drops from WarBears<br />Combat Initiative +25%<br />Maximum HP/MP +50
|-
|[[File:wbgoggles2.gif]]<br />wbgoggles2
|[[warbear snowblindness goggles]]
| +10% Item Drops from WarBears
|-
|[[File:wbgoggles3.gif]]<br />wbgoggles3
|[[warbear polarized goggles]]
| +15% Item Drops from WarBears<br />Combat Initiative -25%<br />Maximum HP/MP -50
|-
|[[File:wbscarf1.gif]]<br />wbscarf1
|[[warbear warscarf]]
| Slight Supercold Resistance<br />So-So Resistance to All Elements (+2)<br />Regenerate 10-15 HP and MP per adventure
|-
|[[File:wbscarf2.gif]]<br />wbscarf2
|[[warbear fleece-lined warscarf]]
| So-So Supercold Resistance
|-
|[[File:wbscarf3.gif]]<br />wbscarf3
|[[warbear electric warscarf]]
| Serious Supercold Resistance<br />Weapon Damage -25%<br />Spell Damage -50%
|}

==Pasta Thralls==
{| cellpadding="3" cellspacing="0" border="1px" style="text-align:center; border-collapse:collapse; margin:1em auto;"
!Thrall
!t_item
!item
!adventure
|-
|[[Angel hair wisp]]
|[[File:t_wisp.gif]]<br />t_wisp
|[[File:wisp.gif]]<br />wisp
|[[File:angelwisp.gif]]<br />angelwisp
|-
|[[Lasagmbie]]
|[[File:t_lasagmbie.gif]]<br />t_lasagmbie
|[[File:lasagmbie_bigitem.gif]]<br />lasagmbie_bigitem
|[[File:lasagmbie.gif]]<br />lasagmbie
|-
|[[Penne Dreadful]]
|[[File:t_dreadful.gif]]<br />t_dreadful
|[[File:dreadful.gif]]<br />dreadful
|[[File:pennedreadful.gif]]<br />pennedreadful
|-
|[[Spaghetti Elemental]]
|[[File:t_spagdemon.gif]]<br />t_spagdemon
|[[File:spagdemon_item.gif]]<br />spagdemon_item
|[[File:spagelem1.gif]]<br />spagelem1
|-
|[[Spice Ghost]]
|[[File:t_spiceghost.gif]]<br />t_spiceghost
|[[File:spiceghost_item.gif]]<br />spiceghost_item
|[[File:spiceghost.gif]]<br />spiceghost
|-
|[[Vampieroghi]]
|[[File:t_vampieroghi.gif]]<br />t_vampieroghi
|[[File:vampieroghi_bigitem.gif]]<br />vampieroghi_bigitem
|[[File:vampieroghi.gif]]<br />vampieroghi
|-
|[[Vermincelli]]
|[[File:t_vermincelli.gif]]<br />t_vermincelli
|[[File:vermincelli_bigitem.gif]]<br />vermincelli_bigitem
|[[File:vermincelli.gif]]<br />vermincelli
|-
|[[Undead elbow macaroni]]
|[[File:t_elbowmac.gif]]<br />t_elbowmac
|[[File:elbowmac.gif]]<br />elbowmac
|[[File:macaroni.gif]]<br />macaroni
|}

==ZoneFont==
Currently known zonefont images (copied from [[Talk:puff of smoke]])
{| style="background-color: whitesmoke; margin: 1em auto; text-align: center;"
|&nbsp;||!||[[File:zone_quote.gif|"]]||#||$||[[File:zone_percent.gif|%]]||&||[[File:zone_apostrophe.gif|']]||[[File:zone_lparen.gif|(]]||[[File:zone_rparen.gif|)]]||*||+||[[File:zone_comma.gif|,]]||[[File:zone_dash.gif|-]]||[[File:zone_period.gif|.]]||/
|-
|[[File:zone_0.gif|0]]||[[File:zone_1.gif|1]]||[[File:zone_2.gif|2]]||[[File:zone_3.gif|3]]||[[File:zone_4.gif|4]]||[[File:zone_5.gif|5]]||[[File:zone_6.gif|6]]||[[File:zone_7.gif|7]]||[[File:zone_8.gif|8]]||[[File:zone_9.gif|9]]||:||;||<||=||>||?
|-
|@||[[File:zone_a.gif|a]]||[[File:zone_b.gif|b]]||[[File:zone_c.gif|c]]||[[File:zone_d.gif|d]]||[[File:zone_e.gif|e]]||[[File:zone_f.gif|f]]||[[File:zone_g.gif|g]]||[[File:zone_h.gif|h]]||[[File:zone_i.gif|i]]||[[File:zone_j.gif|j]]||[[File:zone_k.gif|k]]||[[File:zone_l.gif|l]]||[[File:zone_m.gif|m]]|||[[File:zone_n.gif|n]]||[[File:zone_o.gif|o]]
|-
|[[File:zone_p.gif|p]]||[[File:zone_q.gif|q]]||[[File:zone_r.gif|r]]||[[File:zone_s.gif|s]]||[[File:zone_t.gif|t]]||[[File:zone_u.gif|u]]||[[File:zone_v.gif|v]]||[[File:zone_w.gif|w]]||[[File:zone_x.gif|x]]||[[File:zone_y.gif|y]]||[[File:zone_z.gif|z]]||[||\||]||^||[[File:zone_underscore.gif|_]]
|-
|[[File:zone_A.gif|A]]||[[File:zone_B.gif|B]]||[[File:zone_C.gif|C]]||[[File:zone_D.gif|D]]||[[File:zone_E.gif|E]]||[[File:zone_F.gif|F]]||[[File:zone_G.gif|G]]||[[File:zone_H.gif|H]]||[[File:zone_I.gif|I]]||[[File:zone_J.gif|J]]||[[File:zone_K.gif|K]]||[[File:zone_L.gif|L]]||[[File:zone_M.gif|M]]|||[[File:zone_N.gif|N]]||[[File:zone_O.gif|O]]||[[File:zone_P.gif|P]]
|-
|[[File:zone_Q.gif|Q]]||[[File:zone_R.gif|R]]||[[File:zone_S.gif|S]]||[[File:zone_T.gif|T]]||[[File:zone_U.gif|U]]||[[File:zone_V.gif|V]]||[[File:zone_W.gif|W]]||[[File:zone_X.gif|X]]||[[File:zone_Y.gif|Y]]||[[File:zone_Z.gif|Z]]
|}

==Chess Parts==
*First: Type (bknpqr)
*Second: White/Black Piece (bw) (Bp/Wp)
*Third: White/Black background (bw) (Bb/Wb)
{|
!
!Bp/Bb
!Bp/Wb
!Wp/Bb
!Wp/Wb
|-
|Bishop
|[[File:chess_bbb.gif]]
|[[File:chess_bbw.gif]]
|[[File:chess_bwb.gif]]
|[[File:chess_bww.gif]]
|-
|King
|[[File:chess_kbb.gif]]
|[[File:chess_kbw.gif]]
|[[File:chess_kwb.gif]]
|[[File:chess_kww.gif]]
|-
|Knight
|[[File:chess_nbb.gif]]
|[[File:chess_nbw.gif]]
|[[File:chess_nwb.gif]]
|[[File:chess_nww.gif]]
|-
|Pawn
|[[File:chess_pbb.gif]]
|[[File:chess_pbw.gif]]
|[[File:chess_pwb.gif]]
|[[File:chess_pww.gif]]
|-
|Queen
|[[File:chess_qbb.gif]]
|[[File:chess_qbw.gif]]
|[[File:chess_qwb.gif]]
|[[File:chess_qww.gif]]
|-
|Rook
|[[File:chess_rbb.gif]]
|[[File:chess_rbw.gif]]
|[[File:chess_rwb.gif]]
|[[File:chess_rww.gif]]
|}

==Meat==
Ways meat enter the game (excluding bugmeat):
*Alternating choosing [[Typographical Clutter|The lower-case L]] and losing meat
*[[Autosell]]ing items (1-21337)
*Certain familiars (such as [[Ninja Pirate Zombie Robot]] and [[Stocking Mimic]]) drop meat, or items that can be autosold
*Clan items (1/day): [[A Potted Meat Bush]] (452-552), [[A Potted Meat Tree]] (900-1100), [[An Exotic Hanging Meat Orchid]] (1350-1650)
*Dropping from monsters
*Eating certain foods
*[[The Casino]] (winning a non-MMG game) (0-490)
*[[The Organic Produce Stand]] (1/day) (4000-5000)
*Using [[Template:Meat-Producing Items|certain items]] such as a [[Discount Telescope Warehouse gift certificate]] with a maxed out telescope (10-100,000)
*Performing a [[Pickpocket]] with [[Sticky Fingers]].
*Using [[Cadenza]] with an [[Accordion of Jordion]] equipped. (30-40)

Ways meat leave the game (excluding permanently banned accounts):
*Advertising a [[Display Case]]
*Advertising a [[Clan]]
*Advertising a [[The Mall of Loathing|Mall]] store
*Alternating choosing [[Typographical Clutter|The lower-case L]] and gaining meat (30)
*Buying a [[Clan Basement]] (10,000,000)
**Buying [[Hobopolis]] (1,000,000)
**Buying [[The Haunted Sorority House]] (500,000)
**Buying [[The Slime Tube]] (500,000)
**Buying [[Dreadsylvania]] (1,000,000)
*Buying a [[Display Case]] (100,000)
*[[Ouch! You bump into a door!|Buying]] a lamp or cloak (50 or 5000)
*Buying a [[The Mall of Loathing|Mall]] store (50,000)
*Hiring a new shopkeeper (30,000)
*Buying {{plural|raffle ticket}}
*Buying skills from your [[Guild]]
*Buying things from [[NPC Stores]]
*Buying [[Trophy|trophies]] (10,000)
*[[Clan#Clan Warfare|Clan Warfare]]
*Eating certain foods
*Listing items in [[The Flea Market]] (10 + 1% of listing price, rounded up; max price of 100,000) (11-1010)
*[[O Cap'm, My Cap'm|Setting sail]] (977)
*[[The Oracle Will See You Now|Pay]] a consultation (100 or 1000)
*[[The Casino]] (playing a non-MMG game, 0.1% rounded up of bets in MMG) (5-100,000)
*Using certain items (such as [[meat vortex]], [[chaos butterfly]], or [[toy mercenary]])
*[[The Shore, Inc.|Vacationing]] (500 or 5 under [[Way of the Surprising Fist|WotSF]])

==Showplayer Messages==
*0: Biggus Announcus (no player)
*[http://127.0.0.1:60080/showplayer.php?who=-1 -1: System Message]: You clicked on a System Message. System Messages are messages that The System sends out into the chat when it has something very important to say.
*[http://127.0.0.1:60080/showplayer.php?who=-2 -2: Clan Dungeon Announcement]: You clicked on a clan dungeon announcement. These messages are automatically generated by the game to alert you of your clanmates' goings-on in clan dungeons.
*[http://127.0.0.1:60080/showplayer.php?who=-37 -37: Coherent Static]: A barely heard voice coming over your walkie-talkie.
*[http://127.0.0.1:60080/showplayer.php?who=-41 -41: Rupert Giles]: He's a watcher. He's devoted to tracking and combating malevolent supernatural entities. Although, he's retired and now spends his time helping the mods.
*[http://127.0.0.1:60080/showplayer.php?who=-42 -42: The Game Grid Arcade]: You must be hanging out at the Game Grid Arcade, and overhearing the various noises that an arcade and the people in an arcade make.
*[http://127.0.0.1:60080/showplayer.php?who=-43 -43: Redirects to PvP Hills]
*[http://127.0.0.1:60080/showplayer.php?who=-69 -69:]
**Without [[Huggler Radio]]: Uh Oh!: Hmmm...
**With [[Huggler Radio]]: Redirects to [[All We Are Is Radio Huggler]] (the choice option when using [[Huggler Radio]])
*[http://127.0.0.1:60080/showplayer.php?who=-212 -212: The Ghost of a Snowman]: Looks like you caught a glimpse of an obnoxious snowman!
*Sorry...: Sorry, this player could not be found.

==Miscellaneous Links==
*[http://prntscr.com/1jxnor Devster7 ()]
*[[TheKolWiki:Links to disambiguating pages]]
*BumCheekCity Profile: http://bumcheekcity.com/kol/profile.php?u=Cool12309
*[http://copypasteimages.com/i/a/8/b2e26f4b1d72089a87dc8a24459dcf.png s00pers3kr1t pvp mini admin panel]
*[http://forums.kingdomofloathing.com/vb/showpost.php?p=4595779&postcount=3 s00pers3kr1t admin logfiles]

==Spending Spree March 2nd, 2014 Never Forget==
*[[My Own Pen Pal kit]]
:You fill out the Pen Pal Acquisition form and drop the application in the nearest mailbox. Almost immediately, you get a message from your brand new pen pal, who is apparently a kid named Tommy Tate. Cool!

:(Only one correspondent may be active at a time, your Pen Pal is now active and this may be changed in the Options Menu.)
*[[Libram of Resolutions]]
:You carefully place the Libram on the bookshelf in your campsite.
*You acquire an item: [[Camp Scout backpack]]
*[[fairy-worn boots]]
:You put the fairy-worn boots in your Familiar-Gro™ Terrarium.

:They begin to stomp and dance of their own volition. Must be some leftover fairy magic in there.

:You decide to name him '''Gonald'''.

(at some point in the days coming I got a stinky cheese foldable, and then a few days later a pantsrack)

==Drawn Onward/Dr. Awkward/Mr. Alarm's Office==
{{adventuretop|name=Drawn Onward|num=872}}
[[File:4photos.gif|left]]
The door to Dr. Awkward's office opens, not into an office, but into a small antechamber with no visible exits other than the door you just came in.

The back wall has a curious display -- a column of four empty photo frames. You dig through your bag to see if you have any photographs that look like they'd fit in the frames...
<center>
{|
|Top Photo:
|<dropdown>
|-
|Second Photo:
|<dropdown>
|-
|Third Photo:
|<dropdown>
|-
|Bottom Photo:
|<dropdown>
|}
</center>
----
{{button|Arrange the photos}}
*''Incorrect arrangement:''
Nothing happens -- that must not be the proper arrangement of photographs.

*''Correct arrangement:''
As you finish placing the photographs in the frames, you hear a loud rumbling noise. A section of the wall slides sideways, revealing a tall, narrow niche behind the stonework, and in the niche stands the Staff of Fats. Excitedly, you reach for it, but just then there is a shout behind you:

"Stop, spots!"

[[File:drawkward.gif|center]]

You spin around to see a bald man in spectacles and a very severe black trench coat striding toward you. "Stop! Nine myriad murmur! Put up rum -- ''rum'', dairymen! In ''pots''!"

"I have absolutely no idea what you're talking ab-- ow!" (That's where he clubbed you on the head.)

"Draw, o coward!" he hisses, as he pulls a thin rapier from his cane and advances on you.

"Oh, it's ''on'', buddy."

You ready your weapon and charge forward, only to trip over your own feet and fall on your face. "O tarts! A castrato!" laughs the sinister figure. You stand, growling, and launch yourself at him again, with much the same result. It's as though all your aptitudes and reflexes have been drained by his evil presence!

He leaves you beaten to a pulp and strides away with the Staff of Fats, chuckling evilly. Jerk.
{{HP|type=lose|amount=all}}
But wait... what's this? He seems to have dropped the second volume of his autobiography...
{{acquire|item="2 Love Me, Vol. 2"}}
----
{{button|Leave}}
Walls are boring. You leave.
----
Occurs in [[The Palindome]], when visiting Dr. Awkard's office. [note: do we need a page for his office that redirects to Drawn Onward?]

==Notes==
*No matter the action nor the result you choose/receive, this does not consume an adventure.
*The dropdowns have four options, in the following order: [[photograph of God]], [[photograph of a dog]], [[photograph of a red nugget]], and [[photograph of an ostrich egg]]. If you do not have a photo, it is not in any of the dropdowns.

[not sure where to put this:]
*Trying to go into Dr. Awkward's office after receiving the 2nd volume:
*:No, you got your ass pretty comprehensively kicked the last time you went in there. You clearly need to do some preparation first. Maybe that book he dropped will offer some insight.

any message for reading 2nd volume but not visiting mr. alarm?
*Trying to go into Dr. Awkward's office after talking to Mr. Alarm
*:You should get that counter-charm from Mr. Alarm before you try fighting Dr. Awkward again.
*Visiting Mr. Alarm's office
[[File:mralarm.gif|center]]
Inside the office, you see a guy in a lab coat standing at a sink, washing beakers. You step up behind the man and tap him on the shoulder.

"Oh, hello! Can I help you with something? I'm Mr. Alarm, Mr. Alan Alarm."

"Did you once work for Dr. Awkward?"

He flinches, and his eye starts to twitch. "How did you know that? Did he send you? I moved all the way to the other side of the building to get away from that jerk!"

"No no, I'm trying to find a way to penetrate his ineptitude field. He dropped a book when I tried to fight him before, and it mentioned you, so I thought you might be able to help me." You hand him the book, and he flips through it with interest.

"Aha! He's made notes of some of his formulas... All right. I'll tell you what -- I was about to go to lunch, but if you bring me some food, I'll work on a counter-charm. I'm in the mood for a bowl of wet stunt nut stew."

"...Wet stunt nut stew?"

"Yes, yes. Just like my grandmother used to make. She'd make a stock out of bird rib and lion oil, then stew in some stunt nuts. God, my mouth is watering just thinking about it! I'll get to work on the charm; I should be finished by the time you get back."

"Where can I find it?"

"Oh, well, I know those dreadful Nas'Kar people inside the dome sometimes use wet stunt nut stew as bait in their party boobytraps. If you can't figure out how to make the stew yourself, maybe you could find some there?"
*Returning to Mr. Alarm's office
*:He's hard at work on your counter-charm, and he's hungry -- you shouldn't go back in there until you've got his stew.<br /><br />
*:He suggested checking party boobytraps in the Palindome.
*Returning with wet stunt nut stew
[[File:mralarm.gif|center]]
You return to Mr. Alarm and give him his steaming bowl of salty meat oil. I mean, stew.

"Excellent!" he says. "Mmmmm. Just smell that mouth-watering aroma."

"No thanks. Any luck with that counter-charm?"

He hands you a large crystal on a piece of string. "Here you go. Just wear this around your neck, and it'll nullify Dr. Awkward's ineptitude field. Probably."

"Probably?"

"Well, obviously it's untested, but the theory is sound."

You decide to take your chances (not that you've got much choice, if you're going to get the Staff of Fats back). You thank Mr. Alarm for his help, and prepare for the laying-down of some smack.
{{acquire|item=Mega Gem (accessory)}}
*Returning to Mr. Alarm's office after getting [[Mega Gem (accessory)|Mega Gem]]
*:You should leave Mr. Alarm alone to enjoy his lunch. Just put on that necklace he made you and go take a bite out of Dr. Awkward!
*Returning to Mr. Alarm's office after defeating [[Dr. Awkward]]
*:Mr. Alarm isn't here anymore. OR IS HE?<br /><br />
*:No, he's not.
*Returning to Dr. Awkward's office after defeating him
*:Dr. Awkward's office is empty now.

also of note: after defeating Dr. Awkward, it sets your Adventure Again location to the old palindome - "Adventure Again (The Palindome (OLD))". Doesn't appear to change it in the charpane

==aftercombat palindome==
first combat after talking to mr. alarm starts here, goes in order of combats received. listed after items, before stats.

{|
!monster
!text
|-
|tan gnat
|[[File:exclam.gif|left]] You find one of the party boobytraps Mr. Alarm mentioned, but instead of being baited with wet stunt nut stew, it contains '''so many dynamos'''! Guess they're trying to catch an electronics nerd.
|-
|drab bard
|[[File:exclam.gif|left]] You find one of the party boobytraps Mr. Alarm mentioned, but instead of being baited with wet stunt nut stew, it contains a plate of UFO tofu.
|-
|racecar bob
|[[File:exclam.gif|left]] You find one of the party boobytraps Mr. Alarm mentioned, but instead of being baited with wet stunt nut stew, it contains a half-full tube labeled '''"Bursitis Rub."'''
|-
|evil olive
|[[File:exclam.gif|left]] You find one of the party boobytraps Mr. Alarm mentioned, but instead of being baited with wet stunt nut stew, it contains '''so many dynamos'''! Guess they're trying to catch an electronics nerd.
|-
|taco cat
|[[File:exclam.gif|left]] You find one of the party boobytraps Mr. Alarm mentioned, but instead of being baited with wet stunt nut stew, it contains '''wontons. Not now''', but later, they will perhaps succeed in catching a hungry partygoer.
|-
|flock of stab bats
|[[File:exclam.gif|left]] You find one of the party boobytraps Mr. Alarm mentioned, but instead of being baited with wet stunt nut stew, it contains a '''tuna nut'''.
|-
|racecar bob
|[[File:exclam.gif|left]] You find one of the party boobytraps Mr. Alarm mentioned, but instead of being baited with wet stunt nut stew, it contains a '''goldenrod-adorned log'''. You wonder what they're trying to catch with such a weird thing as bait.
|-
|racecar bob
|[[File:exclam.gif|left]] You find one of the party boobytraps Mr. Alarm mentioned, but instead of being baited with wet stunt nut stew, it contains ... a '''goddamn mad dog'''! You release it, making it somewhat less mad.
|-
|taco cat
|[[File:exclam.gif|left]] You find one of the party boobytraps Mr. Alarm mentioned, but instead of being baited with wet stunt nut stew, it contains the most recent issue of '''Semite Times''' magazine.
|-
|bob racecar
|[[File:exclam.gif|left]] You find one of the party boobytraps Mr. Alarm mentioned, but instead of being baited with wet stunt nut stew, it contains '''Liam's mail'''. I guess they're trying to catch a Liam.
|-
|bob racecar
|[[File:exclam.gif|left]] You find one of the party boobytraps Mr. Alarm mentioned, but instead of being baited with wet stunt nut stew, it contains a book of maps, covered in salt and labeled "property of Eve." '''Did Eve salt an atlas? Eve did.'''
|-
|taco cat
|[[File:exclam.gif|left]] You find one of the party boobytraps Mr. Alarm mentioned, but instead of being baited with wet stunt nut stew, it contains a box of '''Space Caps''', which are apparently some kind of candy.
|-
|tan gnat
|[[File:exclam.gif|left]] You find one of the party boobytraps Mr. Alarm mentioned, but instead of being baited with wet stunt nut stew, it contains ... a '''goddamn mad dog'''! You release it, making it somewhat less mad.
|-
|taco cat
|[[File:exclam.gif|left]] You find one of the party boobytraps Mr. Alarm mentioned, but instead of being baited with wet stunt nut stew, it contains '''no lemon, no melon''', but a different fruit entirely.
|-
|drab bard (no exclam)
|<center>You find another party boobytrap, and... finally! It's baited with a big steaming bowl of wet stunt nut stew! You grab it.</center>
{{acquire|item=wet stunt nut stew}}
|}