User:Khlamedaea

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You're fighting Khlamedaea, the Glitched Cottagecore Witch

She looks like she was supposed to be stitching embroidery via incantation in a sun-dappled hut, but someone spilled code all over her spellbook. Wildflowers flicker into pixels, frogs croak in binary, and her hat occasionally turns into a giant square. She seems equal parts cozy, spooky, and completely unpredictable - an ADHD witch with a love of crafting, board games, and a knack for turning everyday plans into chaotic little adventures. You get the sense she’d rather invite you for tea than actually fight, but she’s easily distracted enough to forget which one she was doing.

Hit Message(s):

She tosses a handful of wildflowers that flicker into pixelated sprites mid-air, and they sting you with spooky damage. Eek! Ow! Argh! (spooky damage)

She chants a buffering incantation until your head pounds with hot damage. Eek! Ugh! Oof! Eek! Ow! (hot damage)

She hurls a wicker basket at you, clipping your shin painfully. Ow! Eek! Oof!

Critical Hit Message:

The flowers glitch into sharp digital shards and slice through you for extra spooky damage! Ooh! Ow! Eek! Oof! Eek! (spooky damage)

Her incantation loops perfectly, burning through your defenses with scorching hot damage! Ooh! Ooh! Ow! Oof! Eek! Ouch! (hot damage)

Miss Message(s):

She tosses wildflowers that glitch into hearts instead, gently healing you.

Her frog familiar hops in the wrong direction, landing squarely on her foot instead of yours.

Her spell lags so badly that it fizzles out harmlessly.

Fumble Message:

She forgets what she was chanting mid-sentence and drops her wand on her own head.

The glitchfrog hovers ominously in midair, then explodes in pixels that damage her instead.

Her hat turns into a giant blocky square, obscuring her vision until she trips and falls over. (FUMBLE!)

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After Combat

You acquire an item: Corrupted Herbal Tea (40% chance)*Data:Corrupted Herbal Tea

You acquire an item: Glitchfrog.exe (15% chance)*Data:Glitchfrog.exe

You acquire an item: Half-Embroidered Spell Pattern (25% chance)*Data:Half-Embroidered Spell Pattern

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Occurs at Spooky Forest, occasionally the Haunted Library.

Notes: Adventurers report that fighting her feels less like combat and more like accidentally beta-testing an unfinished expansion. You could swear she just asked you to press A to continue.

She is also not a monster, but a player who's been around off and on since 2009. She encourages newbies to say hi via pm whenever they see her in chat!