Dirty hippy

Dirty hippy
Monster ID	53
Locations	The Hippy Camp
Hit Points	30
Attack	40
Defense	36
No-Hit	50
Initiative	70
Meat	None
Phylum	hippy
Elements	stench
Resistance	None
Monster Parts	head, arm, leg, torso
Drops	Feng Shui for Big Dumb Idiots, filthy corduroys, filthy knitted dread sack, hippy bongo, reodorant
Quest	Spanish fly
Manuel Entry
refreshedit data

 You're fighting a dirty hippy

This is a dirty hippy. So, basically, a hippy. I mean, what, does it really make the Earth Goddess cry when you shower and use deodorant?

Hit Message(s):

She douses your <kidney> with patchouli oil. It burns! Eek! Ugh! (stench damage)

She gives you a big ol' hug, smothering you in hippy stench. Ooh! Ow! (stench damage)

She smacks you upside the leg with a hemp-woven dreamcatcher. You feel an ominous rumbling in your colon. Oof! Eek! (stench damage)

She whips you with her filthy dreadlocks. You'd better go get your shots, man. Eek! Ugh! (stench damage)

Critical Hit Message:

She says, "fine, you want me to bathe?" and pulls out a bar of all-natural hippy soap to lather up. She gets some suds in your eye, and since the soap is made of pure foulness, it really burns. Ow! Ouch! Ouch! (stench damage)

Miss Message(s):

She tries to douse you with patchouli oil, but you duck and cover like they taught you in grade school.

She tries to give you a big ol' hug, but you cover your nose and back away slowly.

She tries to smack you with a dreamcatcher, but you put on a fake British accent and pretend you're an alien.

She tries to whip you with her filthy dreadlocks, but gets dizzy before she connects.

Fumble Message:

She rears back for a mighty attack, but slips and falls into a puddle of water. She doesn't quite melt like a wicked witch, but it does wash off the stench and she has to leave the fight for a while to get sweaty again. (FUMBLE!)

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After Combat

You acquire an item: Feng Shui for Big Dumb Idiots (30.2% chance)*

You acquire an item: filthy corduroys (5.0% chance)*

You acquire an item: reodorant (5.0% chance)*

You acquire an item: filthy knitted dread sack (2.0% chance)*

You acquire an item: hippy bongo (5% chance)*

• With a Spanish fly trap equipped.

You acquire an item: Spanish fly (25% chance)*

You gain 8 <substat>.

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Occurs at The Hippy Camp.

References

• Duck and cover was taught to school children starting in the 1950's to protect them from nuclear explosions.
• The dreamcatcher miss message is probably a reference to the 2003 film adaptation of Stephen King's novel Dreamcatcher and its body-snatching alien foe Mr. Gray, who had a British accent.