Action Elevator

Choice adventure number: 780

Action Elevator

You enter the apartment building, and it seems like almost all of the residents have popped off to the roof for a smoke break. It's weird... they do that at really strangely regular intervals...

Anyway, you make it to the elevator without being attacked by any pygmies. Where would you like to go?

Go to the Thrice-Cursed Penthouse

Without Thrice-Cursed:

You reach for the button to go to the penthouse, but the elevator senses that you are insufficiently cursed, and doesn't allow you to push it.

With Thrice-Cursed:

ancient protector spirit -- (edit metadata)
	Item Drops: moss-covered stone sphereq Meat Drop: None Monster Level: 158 • Substat Gain: 39.5 • Moxie for No Hit*: 168 Monster Defense: 145 Hit Points: 80 Initiative: 10 Elemental Alignment: None Damage Resistance: 100%

After slaying the spirit: The penthouse is empty now.

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Go to the mezannine

You take the elevator to the mezzanine, and it turns out that you're a chump, because the mezzanine is cursed.

You acquire an effect: Once-Cursed (duration: 10 Adventures)

or, if you have Once-Cursed

You lose an effect: Once-Cursed

You acquire an effect: Twice-Cursed (duration: 10 Adventures)

or, if you have Twice-Cursed

You lose an effect: Twice-Cursed

You acquire an effect: Thrice-Cursed (duration: 10 Adventures)

or, if you have Thrice-Cursed

You acquire an effect: Thrice-Cursed (duration: 10 Adventures)

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Go down to the parking garage

You take the elevator to the parking garage, and find it empty save for a windowless white van, a cinder block, a can of red paint, and a bunch of dirty garbage.

Thinking quickly, you paint a crude red cross on the side of the van, point it out the garage exit toward the park, put the cinder block on the gas pedal, and turn it loose.

You watch it crash into the central fountain, and hear a cacophony of chanting and bickering as a massive group of pygmy witch lawyers bursts out of the nearby office building and loudly converges on it.

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• With candy cane sword cane equipped:

Climb on top of the elevator car

You use your candy cane sword to pry open the hatch on the top of the elevator. You climb into the shaft and shudder. Apparently the curse of the mezzanine has leaked into the elevator shaft. You quickly drop back into the elevator.

You acquire an effect: Once-Cursed (duration: 10 Adventures)

or, if you have Once-Cursed

You lose an effect: Once-Cursed

You acquire an effect: Twice-Cursed (duration: 10 Adventures)

or, if you have Twice-Cursed

You lose an effect: Twice-Cursed

You acquire an effect: Thrice-Cursed (duration: 10 Adventures)

or, if you have Thrice-Cursed

You acquire an effect: Thrice-Cursed (duration: 10 Adventures)

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Exit through the gift shop

Just kidding. What kind of apartment building has a gift shop? You exit through the front door.

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Occurs at The Hidden Apartment Building

Notes

• Going to the parking garage banishes pygmy witch lawyers from the Office Building, but adds them to the Park.
• The "strangely regular intervals" are once every nine adventures.

References

• Elevator Action is a classic arcade game.
• Exit Through the Gift Shop is a documentary film about the graffiti artist Banksy.
• The line about "taking the elevator to the mezzanine" and being a "chump" is a reference to "Super Bon Bon" by Soul Coughing.