Angry bassist: Difference between revisions
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imported>A14 Add to category "free fights" |
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{{battle | {{battle | ||
|type=hipster | |||
|hipname=DAVID CROSBY | |||
|hipdesc=Angry Ex-Bassist | |||
|text=You suddenly find your way forward blocked by a lanky dude with a knit cap, scraggly moustache, and hip-hugging, skin-tight jeans. | |text=You suddenly find your way forward blocked by a lanky dude with a knit cap, scraggly moustache, and hip-hugging, skin-tight jeans. | ||
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"Look, I don't even know what you --" you say, but the dude interrupts you. | "Look, I don't even know what you --" you say, but the dude interrupts you. | ||
"I'm not talking to you," he says, "I'm talking to <Familiar Name>!" | "I'm not talking to ''you,''" he says, "I'm talking to <Familiar Name>!" | ||
<Familiar Name> looks up, surprised. "But I needed a haircut! Why can't I have a haircut?" he says. His logic appears to be lost on the angry bassist, though, so it looks like there's gonna be a throw-down. | <Familiar Name> looks up, surprised. "But I needed a haircut! Why can't I have a haircut?" he says. His logic appears to be lost on the angry bassist, though, so it looks like there's gonna be a throw-down. | ||
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ROUND ONE: FIGHT! | ROUND ONE: FIGHT! | ||
|hit=He swings a fist at <Familiar Name>, but hits you instead. He doesn't even say, "my bad!" {{ouch|6}} | |hit=He swings a fist at <Familiar Name>, but hits you instead. He doesn't even say, "my bad!" {{ouch|6}} | ||
He stomps on the ground, sending out a shockwave. <Familiar Name> jumps over it, but it knocks you over. {{ouch|6}} | |||
He tries to run over <Familiar Name> with his fixed-gear bicycle, but hits you instead. Man, those things are heavy! {{ouch|6}} | He tries to run over <Familiar Name> with his fixed-gear bicycle, but hits you instead. Man, those things are heavy! {{ouch|6}} | ||
|critical= | |||
|miss= | He releases some kind of energy beam at <Familiar Name>, but it hits you instead. Woah, is this a realistic story about hipsters, or a video game? {{ouch|6}} | ||
|fumble= | |critical=The words "Special Attack: Ironic Violence!" appear over his head. He swings a gigantic energy-based iron at <Familiar Name>, and it misses and hits you in the {{part}} instead. {{ouch|6}} | ||
|miss=He swings a fist at <Familiar Name>, but misses both him and you. | |||
He tries to run over <Familiar Name> with his fixed-gear bicycle, but misses. Since the bike has no brakes, it takes a minute for him to stop. | |||
He shouts, "HAIDOKEN!" but nothing happens. I guess this is a realistic story about hipsters, not some kind of comic book/video game hybrid. | |||
He stops to talk with <Familiar Name> about whether Octorok Orgy should be a cover band that does chiptune versions of hair-metal songs, or an ironic hair-metal band that does metal covers of video game soundtracks. | |||
|fumble=He throws a minor hissy-fit about how his ironic hair-metal chiptune cover band can't rehearse. | |||
}} | }} | ||
{{acquire|item=ironic knit cap}} | |||
---- | |||
Occurs anywhere, with [[Mini-Hipster]] equipped (sometimes) | |||
==References== | |||
* This character is based on Stephen Stills, a member of the band in [[wikipedia:Scott_Pilgrim| Scott Pilgrim]]. His name, David Crosby, much like Stephen Stills, is a member of the rock "[[Wikipedia:Supergroup_(music)|supergroup]]" [[Wikipedia:Crosby,_Stills,_Nash_%26_Young| Crosby, Stills, Nash and Young]]. Neither Stills nor Crosby played bass in CSN&Y, though Crosby did play bass briefly (and unsuccessfully) with [[Wikipedia:The Byrds|The Byrds]]. | |||
* The 'needing a haircut' line is also an ongoing joke from Scott Pilgrim, who's hair is often described as being 'shaggy'. | |||
* "I'm talking to you, [Familiar Name]!" in the character's entrance is a line from Lucas Lee, one of the evil exes in the Scott Pilgrim series. | |||
* The fumble message "Haidoken!" Is a misspelt Street Fighter reference to a fireball-style move performed by the main character Ryu, which is also an inspiration for the English new wave 'indie' band [[Wikipedia:Hadouken!|Hadouken!]]. | |||
*The | [[Category:Free Fights]] | ||
: | |||
Latest revision as of 23:33, 27 March 2018
| Angry bassist | |
|---|---|
| Monster ID | 969 |
| Locations | Any location, with a Mini-Hipster familiar |
| Hit Points | 75% of player's muscle |
| Attack | Moxie (cap at 10 000) |
| Defense | Muscle (cap at 10 000) |
| Initiative | 0 |
| Meat | None |
| Phylum | dude |
| Elements | None |
| Resistance | None |
| Monster Parts | arm, bass, head, legs |
| Drops | ironic knit cap |
| Manuel Entry | |
| refreshedit data | |
 |
You're fighting an angry bassist |
You suddenly find your way forward blocked by a lanky dude with a knit cap, scraggly moustache, and hip-hugging, skin-tight jeans.
"What the heck, man?" he says. "Octorok Orgy can't play because you pawned my bass so you could get a haircut!"
"Look, I don't even know what you --" you say, but the dude interrupts you.
"I'm not talking to you," he says, "I'm talking to <Familiar Name>!"
<Familiar Name> looks up, surprised. "But I needed a haircut! Why can't I have a haircut?" he says. His logic appears to be lost on the angry bassist, though, so it looks like there's gonna be a throw-down.
ROUND ONE: FIGHT!
Hit Message(s):
He swings a fist at <Familiar Name>, but hits you instead. He doesn't even say, "my bad!" Oof! Ooh! Oof! Ow! Ooh! Ugh!
He stomps on the ground, sending out a shockwave. <Familiar Name> jumps over it, but it knocks you over. Ooh! Ow! Eek! Ow! Oof! Ooh!
He tries to run over <Familiar Name> with his fixed-gear bicycle, but hits you instead. Man, those things are heavy! Oof! Argh! Argh! Oof! Ooh! Ouch!
He releases some kind of energy beam at <Familiar Name>, but it hits you instead. Woah, is this a realistic story about hipsters, or a video game? Oof! Argh! Argh! Ooh! Ugh! Eek!
The words "Special Attack: Ironic Violence!" appear over his head. He swings a gigantic energy-based iron at <Familiar Name>, and it misses and hits you in the <throat> instead. Argh! Eek! Ugh! Ugh! Ouch! Ow!
He swings a fist at <Familiar Name>, but misses both him and you.
He tries to run over <Familiar Name> with his fixed-gear bicycle, but misses. Since the bike has no brakes, it takes a minute for him to stop.
He shouts, "HAIDOKEN!" but nothing happens. I guess this is a realistic story about hipsters, not some kind of comic book/video game hybrid.
He stops to talk with <Familiar Name> about whether Octorok Orgy should be a cover band that does chiptune versions of hair-metal songs, or an ironic hair-metal band that does metal covers of video game soundtracks.
He throws a minor hissy-fit about how his ironic hair-metal chiptune cover band can't rehearse. (FUMBLE!)
 | You acquire an item: ironic knit cap |
Occurs anywhere, with Mini-Hipster equipped (sometimes)
References
- This character is based on Stephen Stills, a member of the band in Scott Pilgrim. His name, David Crosby, much like Stephen Stills, is a member of the rock "supergroup" Crosby, Stills, Nash and Young. Neither Stills nor Crosby played bass in CSN&Y, though Crosby did play bass briefly (and unsuccessfully) with The Byrds.
- The 'needing a haircut' line is also an ongoing joke from Scott Pilgrim, who's hair is often described as being 'shaggy'.
- "I'm talking to you, [Familiar Name]!" in the character's entrance is a line from Lucas Lee, one of the evil exes in the Scott Pilgrim series.
- The fumble message "Haidoken!" Is a misspelt Street Fighter reference to a fireball-style move performed by the main character Ryu, which is also an inspiration for the English new wave 'indie' band Hadouken!.
