Killer Festive Arc-Welding Elfbot

This content has been retired and is no longer available in game.

Killer Festive Arc-Welding Elfbot
Monster ID	unknown
Locations	The Crimborg Collective Factory
Hit Points	Equal to player HP
Attack	Scales with player stats
Defense	Scales with player stats
Initiative	Indeterminate
Meat	None
Phylum	Indeterminate
Elements	None
Resistance	None
Monster Parts	Indeterminate
Drops	capacitor relay, carbon nanotube frame, Feynman gate, high-resistance ultrapolymer plating, ion grid, logic synthesizer
Quest	flask of peppermint oil
refreshedit data

 You're fighting a Killer Festive Arc-Welding Elfbot

This is one of the killer robots from the future, (mostly) reprogrammed by the Crimborg to help make fun, futuristic toys. This particular robot is in charge of arc-welding. He puts together all the Joans. Never mind, that was a pretty lousy joke. But let's not dwell on it, because there's a killer robot with an arc welder coming at you, and it doesn't look happy.

Hit Message(s):

It welds your <arse> to your <arse>. At least it didn't weld a dog to your face or anything. Happy Crimbo! Argh! Eek! Eek! Ow!

It extrudes a liquid-metal sharp pointy thing and stabs you in the <arse>. Argh! Ouch! Ugh!

It stomps on you with its big metal feet. That's no mean feat, but it is a pair of mean feet.Eek! Oof! Ouch!

It crushes your <arse> in its calipers. That's gonna leave a mark. Happy Crimbo! Ugh! Ugh! Ow!

Critical Hit Message:

It swings its arc welder through the air. Electricity arcs from the tip through the top of your head, down your body, and out through the puddle you're standing in. Man, you really should have avoided that puddle. Oof! Oof! Ugh! Ugh!

Miss Message(s):

It tries to stomp on you with its big metal feet, but you find it a trivial feat to dodge them.

It tries to morph into another deadly shape, but gets stuck midway through the transformation.

It tries to weld a dog to your face, but you back away, thoroughly skeeved out.

It tries to crush you in its calipers, but you don't wanna be crushed, buried in fear, or left for töt.

Fumble Message:

It stomps toward you, welder held high, but suddenly the tip of the welder goes dark. The elfbot looks back, embarrassed, and sees the cord has come unplugged. (FUMBLE!)

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After Combat

You acquire an item: capacitor relay (8.2% chance)*

You acquire an item: carbon nanotube frame (8.1% chance)*

You acquire an item: ion grid (8.1% chance)*

You acquire an item: Feynman gate (7.9% chance)*

You acquire an item: logic synthesizer (8.4% chance)*

You acquire an item: high-resistance ultrapolymer plating (3.9% chance)*

You acquire an item: flask of peppermint oil (??.?% chance)*

You gain some <substat>.

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Occurred at The Crimborg Collective Factory.

References

• The encounter text about a killer robot from the future, reprogrammed for good, the second hit message, and the second miss message are all references to the Terminator series of movies.
• Its description refers to Joan of Arc, as it "puts together all the Joans."
• The references to welding a dog to your face come from DC Comics' Hitman, which features a spoof superhero team called Section 8, including a character called "Dog Welder" who spot-welds dead dogs to the faces of evildoers.
• The message that you "don't want to be crushed, buried in fear, left for tot" is a reference to the MC Frontalot song "Rappers We Crush" featuring KOMPRESSOR. "Tot" (without the umlaut) is German for "dead."
• The fumble text is a reference to a scene from the film Idle Hands, in which a similar occurrence befalls Seth Green's character as his demonically possessed hands attack Devon Sawa's character.