Loaf of Bread of Wonder

Loaf of Bread of Wonder
Monster ID	1299
Locations	A Grocery Bag
Hit Points	100
Attack	30
Defense	100
Initiative	100
Meat	None
Phylum	weird
Elements	None
Resistance	?
Monster Parts	bread, crust
Drops	None
Manuel Entry
refreshedit data

 You're fighting a loaf of Bread of Wonder

Regular bread is wonderful enough--just add heat and it magically transubstantiates into toast--but this bread is the embodiment of wonder and delight. It isn't sliced, so it can't be the greatest thing since itself, but it's close.

Hit Message(s):

It smacks you with a bit of crust. You think about telling a 'crusty' joke, but we covered that with the bread golem. Ooh! Oof!

It drops crumbs into your pants, and the itching makes you scratch yourself until you bleed. Ooh! Ooh!

It pelts you with some croutons, which are really just stale bread, now that you think about it. Ouch! Ow!

It squishes bread into your mouth until it comes out your ears. Eek! Ooh!

Critical Hit Message:

It pulls out a bread knife and slices you! By the time it's done, you're completely toast. Oof! Oof!

Miss Message(s):

It tries to smack you with a bit of crust, but it's upper crust, so you just duck under it.

It tries to drop crumbs on you, but you tell it to stop being crummy.

It tries to pelt you with some croutons, but you call it a cretin.

It tries to squish bread into your mouth, but you say you can't live by it alone.

Fumble Message:

It tries to slice you with a bread knife, but trips and slices its own end off. Well, at least that's the part that no one wants to eat, anyway. (FUMBLE!)

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After Combat

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Occurs at A Grocery Bag.

Reference

• Wonder Bread is sold throughout Mexico, Canada, and the US. Wonder was one of the first brands to sell sliced bread.

See Also

• The Bread Golem mentioned in the hit messages.