Marty's House

Marty's House is located in Little Canadia. Marty sends the player on Marty's Quest and grants a reward upon its completion.

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• On first visit:

Outside a little wooden house/workshop, you encounter a lumberjack sitting morosely on a fresh stump, with his head in his hands. "What's the matter?" you ask him. "You look like you fell off your favorite log, or whatever you lumberjack guys are into."

"I'm in love with the most beautiful lumberjill in the camp," he says, sighing. "But she doesn't even know I'm alive. I'm not really a lumberjack, you see -- I'm just a craftsman. I make axe handles and stuff for the real lumberjacks." He sighs again. "I can't hold a candle to those big tough burly guys."

"Did you try talking to her?"

"Well, I tried carving our initials on a tree, with a heart around them. The tree got cut down before she noticed, though."

"That figures," you say. "So maybe try talking to her?"

"I had an even better idea -- I want to give her a present -- something really special, you know? I was thinking I could make her a really amazing axe, but the parts I want can only be found in the swamp nearby -- Le Dègueulasse Marais, we call it -- and it's far too dangerous in there for me."

"What's so dangerous about it?"

"There's an old ruined wizard tower there. Nobody knows who the wizard was, but after he died, ages ago, the tower crumbled, and the magic sort of leaked out into the swamp. It did all kinds of weird things to the animals. Also I think there's an ancient battlefield full of the souls of the restless dead."

"That sure does sound dangerous," you say. "So maybe talking to..."

"Say, aren't you an adventurer? Maybe you could go find the stuff for me!"

You sigh. "Yeah. I guess I could do that."

"Great! Here, I'll mark the swamp on your map. I need three things: first, a branch from the Great Tree -- it's the straightest, strongest tree that any lumberjack has ever seen, but it's never been cut down because it's hidden and guarded by les castors de marais."

"What?"

"Swamp beavers. Years and years ago, a famous lumberjack named Phil Bunion went to try and find the tree and claim it, but he never returned. The second thing I need is the blade from his axe, which is said to be the strongest and sharpest axe ever made."

"And the third thing?"

"Well, I figure a bouquet of swamp roses would be nice, you know? That'll make the gift more romantic."

"If you say so," you say. "What was your name again?"

"Oh, sorry!" he says, standing up and shaking your hand. "I'm Marty."

"All right, Marty, I'll see what I can do. But really, you ought to try just talk--"

"Thanks!" he says excitedly. "I'll wait for you here!"

• On subsequent visits:

Lumber-related Pun

After completing the quest:

You don't see Marty outside his house, so you go to knock on the door. However, one of those furry hats with the earflaps is hanging on the doorknob, and there's a little note pinned to it that says "DO NOT DISTURB" and then another note taped to that one that says "I don't own a necktie."

Looks like Marty's plan worked even better than expected. Go figure.

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Occurs in Little Canadia.