Modern zmobie

Modern zmobie
Monster ID	1070
Locations	The Defiled Alcove
Hit Points	50
Attack	60
Defense	54
Initiative	300
Meat	48-72
Phylum	undead
Elements	spooky
Resistance	None
Monster Parts	head, arm, leg, torso
Drops	None
Manuel Entry
refreshedit data

 You're fighting a modern zmobie

As you're darting from place to place in the Alcove like some sort of grave-robbing cheetah, you encounter something moving even faster than you.

It's a zmobie, but it's not your grandfather's zmobie (George Romero is your grandfather, right?) -- It's one of those new-fangled super fast zmobies. And man, does it have a mean look on its face.

Hit Message(s):

It leaps at you, howling, and bites you in the <foot>, which makes you do some howling of your own. Ooh! Ugh! Oof!

It sprints over, bites you on the <foot>, snarls, then sprints away before you can blink. Dayumn. Ow! Ouch! Oof!

It jogs over, casually bites you in the <foot>, then sprints off again. Ow! Ow! Argh!

It does a few one-handed push-ups, then punches through your sternum. Now it's just showing off. Ow! Ouch! Ow!

Critical Hit Message:

It bites you in the <foot>, which goes bad and starts attacking the rest of you. If only you could cut it off with a chainsaw. . . Ow! Ouch! Ugh! (CRITICAL HIT!)

Miss Message(s):

It stops to do some calisthenics. Zombiecise?

It stops to tie its running shoes.

It snarls and drools a little, but doesn't attack this round.

It sprints over to bite you, but trips on its own exposed shinbone.

Fumble Message:

You say, "wait, so are you a decomposing corpse? Because if so, you're way too fast. Are you some kind of plague-infected living person, then? Because if so, then you're not technically a zombie." It pauses to ponder the conundrum of its existence. (FUMBLE!)

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After Combat

You gain 48-72 Meat (average: 60, stdev: 5.29)*

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Occurs at The Defiled Alcove.

Notes

• While on the quest to get rid of the evil in The Cyrpt, a winning combat terminates with:

You sigh with relief as the especially evil zmobie grunts his last.

Your Evilometer emits five quick beeps.

• Increasing your Combat Initiative will increase the occurrence of this encounter. While in the Defiled Alcove, this monster is a Superlikely with an encounter rate of [15 + Init/10]%. Having +850% init will guarantee zmobie modernity, while -150% initiative would make it impossible to encounter one.
  • Additionally, there is a mt_rand(1, 100) > initiative rejection roll, which means having less than +100% init will occasionally prevent encountering a modern zmobie.
• Due to the nature of Superlikely adventures, the chance of encountering a modern zombie can also be increased by lowering your Combat Frequency, as Turn Your Head and Coffin can be skipped at no adventure cost.
• Can be sniffed, but with no effect.
• Encountering this monster outside of The Defiled Alcove will still decrease the evil for The Defiled Alcove. For example: encountering via Fire a badly romantic arrow.
• This monster cannot be wished for.

References

• George Romero directed Night of the Living Dead, the film that created the concept of the shambling, flesh-hungry undead as zombies, as well as several follow-up movies that follow the same basic ground rules. In his Diary of the Dead, where the characters are making a movie-within-a-movie about a mummy attack, the director character yells at the mummy actor that he can't run while dead because his ankles would snap off.
  • When his Dawn of the Dead was remade, all the zombies got much faster.
• Cutting off an infected bit with a chainsaw is a reference to Evil Dead II, where main character Ash uses a chainsaw to cut off his own hand after it is possessed by a demon.
• The question about the zombie being "some kind of plague-infected living person" refers to 28 Days Later, which features such people. Despite being lumped in with them, it is not actually a zombie film. Romero made a somewhat similar film called The Crazies, which features similar infected.
  • When The Crazies was remade, all the non-zombies got much faster, too.