Typical Tavern Quest: Difference between revisions

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As of the 16th of October 2005 the details of this quest changed. Information below reflects post-change operation of the quest.
==Description==
==Description==
We've received word that the owner of [[The Typical Tavern Rats|The Typical Tavern]], in [[The Distant Woods]], is having a bit of a rat problem. I'm sure he'd reward you if you took care of it for him. You will not receive this quest unless you have completed the [[Spooky Forest Quest]].
After reaching [[level]] 3, [[The Council of Loathing]] may send you to [[The Typical Tavern]] to solve a bit of a rat problem. You will not receive this [[Quest Spoilers|quest]] until you have completed the [[Spooky Forest Quest]].


==Tasks==
==Tasks==
In the new quest you enter the Typical Tavern and enter into an area just like [[The Barrel full of Barrels]] and have to hit the "rat faucet" adventure. Turn the faucet off to complete the quest.
*Speak to [[Bart Ender]] in [[The Typical Tavern]] about his rat problem.
*Fight your way through the [[Tavern Cellar]] until you discover [[Of Course!|the rat faucet]].
*Turn off the faucet, and return to Bart for your reward.
 
==Reward==
*3 {{plural|Typical Tavern swill}} (3 {{plural|root beer}} on KOLHS)
*Before finding the faucet you will encounter [[Those Who Came Before You]], rewarding you with the [[shiny ring]] and a few class-specific items.
*Once you turn off the faucet, you can continue exploring the Cellar to encounter [[Baron von Ratsworth]] in [[If it's Tiny, is it Still a Mansion?|his mansion]]. Defeating him will grant you [[Baron von Ratsworth's monocle]] (depending on the current setting of any of the [[Monster Aggravation Devices]], you could receive [[Baron von Ratsworth's money clip]] or [[Baron von Ratsworth's tophat]] instead). Note that he can be quite difficult to defeat, as his stats [[Special Monsters|scale to yours]].
 
==Council Text==
''On initial visit:''
 
We've received word that the [[Bart Ender|owner]] of [[The Typical Tavern]], in [[The Distant Woods]], is having a bit of a rat problem. I'm sure he'd reward you if you took care of it for him.
 
''On subsequent visits:''
 
The owner of the Typical Tavern is still bugging us about his rat problems. Perhaps you could help him?
 
==Bartender Text==
''On initial visit:''
 
"Howdy, Adventurer!" says the jovial man behind the bar. "I'm Bart. Bart Ender."
 
"Nice to meet ya, Bart. I'm <Player Name>," you say. "The Council says you need some help with something."


Before turning off the faucet, you can continue to adventure to encounter [[Baron Von Ratsworth]]. Defeating him will grant you a rather nifty item (there are three different items he can drop, depending on the current setting, if any, of the [[The Super-Secret Canadian Mind-Control Device]]). You cannot fight him once you have turned off the faucet. He can be quite difficult to defeat, as his stats [[Special Monsters|scale to yours]].
"Yup. We've got a bit of a rat problem, y'see. Whole cellar's just thick with 'em. I mean, sure, there are always rats down there -- rats are a crucial part of the fantasy tavern ecosystem. Our problem is that there are ''too many'' rats. I need you to figure out why there are so many of 'em, and put a stop to it somehow." he replies.


Besides the Baron, the only enemies in the cellar are rats, who can be troublesome because of their ability to dodge. Known item drops are [[rat whisker]] and [[rat appendix]].
"So there are... rats... in the cellar... of the tavern," you sigh, "and I have to kill, what, like, ten of them?"


At least one square of the tavern will always produce a non-combat adventure in which your player gains an ice-cold beer, a fotie, or, more rarely, liquor or a mixed drink (e.g [[horizontal tango]]).
"This isn't a simple matter of 'kill ten rats,' buddy. You need to track 'em back to their source and put a stop to it, whatever it is. Here, lemme unlock the trap door for you. Careful. It's dark down there."


The necessary faucet adventure and the Baron Von Ratsworth are both randomized per person, but don't change during that ascension run. For example, if you found the Faucet in square 3, you can leave it alone until you find and defeat the Baron and it will still be in square 3.
''On subsequent visits:''


==Reward==
"Hey, if it isn't ol' <Player Name>. Had any luck finding the source of those rats? We're all counting on you!
*3 of an [[Advanced Cocktailcrafting]] drink, given to you based on your class.
 
*[[shiny ring]]
"If you get thirsty, feel free to [[Bart Ender|order a drink]]."
 
''After turning off the rat faucet:''
 
"Rat faucet got left on, eh? That was probably Luanne. She was always doin' ditzy stuff like that. Right unfriendly to the customers, too. That's why I fired her ''and'' divorced her.


"Anyhow, thanks for your help, <Player Name>. Here -- by way of thanks, have a few drinks on the house!"


<TABLE CELLPADDING=3 CELLSPACING=0 BORDER=1px>
{{acquire|item=Typical Tavern swill|num=3}}
<TR ALIGN="center"><td style="width:100px">'''Class'''</td>
<td style="width:360px">'''Drink Received'''</td></tr>
<tr><td>[[Seal Clubber]]</td><td>{{acquire|item=pink pony|num=3}}</td></tr>
<tr><td>[[Turtle Tamer]]</td><td>{{acquire|item=ocean motion|num=3}}</td></tr>
<tr><td>[[Pastamancer]]</td><td>{{acquire|item=ducha de oro|num=3}}</td></tr>
<tr><td>[[Sauceror]]</td><td>{{acquire|item=a little sump'm sump'm|num=3}}</td></tr>
<tr><td>[[Disco Bandit]]</td><td>{{acquire|item=calle de miel|num=3}}</td></tr>
<tr><td>[[Accordion Thief]]</td><td>{{acquire|item=slap and tickle|num=3}}</td></tr>
</table>


==Council Text==
===Actual Ed the Undying===
''On initial visit:''
''On initial visit:''
We've received word that the owner of [[The Typical Tavern Rats|The Typical Tavern]], in [[The Distant Woods]], is having a bit of a rat problem. I'm sure he'd reward you if you took care of it for him.


''On subsequent visits:''
''On subsequent visits:''


The owner of the Typical Tavern is still bugging us about his rat problems. Perhaps you could help him?
''After turning on the rat faucet:''
 
:"Okay," you tell Bart, "I found the faucet and turned it back on just a little bit. You should be good now."
 
:"Thanks pal!" Bart grins. "My regulars are mighty particular about how the beer tastes."
 
:"Sure, I can imagine," you say, looking around at the bar's clientele, which appears to be a brawl of people too busy hitting each other with their mugs to drink anything out of them, and a hollow-eyed guy standing in the corner nursing a club soda and a fistful of pills. "Anyway, Bart, about <Player Name> -- do you know where he went after he left here?"
 
:"'Fraid not," Bart says, shaking his head. "Just sort of wandered off into the night, like adventurers do. Sorry. But here, let me set you up with a round on the house."
 
{{acquire|item=Typical Tavern swill|num=3}}
 
===Zombie Slayer===
*Bart is less coherent in a [[Zombie Slayer]] run.


==Tavern Text==
''On initial visit:''
''On initial visit:''


You approach the Typical Tavern, and the bartender runs out the front door to greet you.
:You shamble up the bar, where Bart Ender is blankly polishing something with a rag. The object in question turns out to be a human skull.


&ldquo;You've gotta help us, Adventurer. The cellar is so full of rats that we can't get down there to restock the bar!&rdquo;
:"Howdy, Bart," you say. "How's, um… how's it going?"


The bartender shows you where the cellar door is (you pause a moment to admire the phrase) and you descend into the darkness.
:"Guhhhhhh," Bart moans amicably.


Man. It's ''really'' dark down here.
:"I heard you had a bit of rat problem?"
 
:Bart stares at you as the idea slowly, slowly works its way through his ravaged nervous system.  
 
:"Raaaaaaaaaatss," he muses, then gives you a wobbly nod.
 
:"Raaaaaatssss," he says again, gesturing at a small iron key hanging from a nail on the wall.
 
:"Right, leave it to me," you reply. You take the key and unlock the trap door to the tavern cellar.


''On subsequent visits:''
''On subsequent visits:''


Man. It's ''really'' dark down here.
:Bart is still polishing that skull. It doesn't look like he's moved since you saw him last. Zombies are creatures of habit, it seems.
 
:"Hi, Bart," you say cheerfully.
 
:"Gruhhhh."
 
:"I'm still working on the rat situation, but don't you worry."
 
:"Gruhhhhh."
 
:"Any chance of a drink?"
 
:"Gruhhhhh."
 
:"So… yes? No? Is that a no?"
 
:"Gruhhhhh."
 
:"Okay, never mind. I'll check back with you later."
 
''The first time after turning off the rat faucet:''
 
:"Hey, Bart, I fixed your rat problem. Someone left the faucet on."
 
:"Guhhhhh?"
 
:"I know, right? So how about a drink?"
 
:"Guhhhhh?"
 
:"Oh for… look, don't worry about it, I'll just serve myself, okay?"
 
:"Guhhhhh?"
 
:You grab some mugs and pour yourself some tavern swill. The taps still work, surprisingly, and also surprisingly, the swill doesn't smell any worse than you remember. You would have expected it to get riper with age, or for a zombie to have fallen in one of the kegs and dissolved, or something.
 
:Maybe that did happen, and the tavern swill is so strong, it doesn't make any difference. Or maybe that was Bart's secret ingredient all along.
 
{{acquire|item=Typical Tavern swill|num=3}}
 
''Thereafter:''
 
:"Hi there, Bart."


''Upon turning off the rat faucet:''
:"Gruhhhhh," he replies, continuing to polish that skull.


You turn off the rat faucet. From all around, you hear the sounds of rats disappearing down drains.
:"You need any help around the tavern or anything?"


After a few moments, the bartender comes scuttling down the stairs and says:
:"Gruhhhhh."


"Thank you very much for taking care of my rat problem. Here's a reward for you."
:"No, I guess not. Um, I don't suppose you have anything for sale? Do you remember how that works? Selling things?"


"And hey! Stop back by the tavern any time you're up for a bit of the old 'drunken debauchery.'"
:"Gruhhhhh."


{{acquire|item=pink pony|num=3}} <center>''(if Seal Clubber)''<br />''or''<br /></center>
:"Never mind," you sigh.
{{acquire|item=ocean motion|num=3}} <center>''(if Turtle Tamer)''<br />''or''<br /></center>
{{acquire|item=ducha de oro|num=3}} <center>''(if Pastamancer)''<br />''or''<br /></center>
{{acquire|item=a little sump'm sump'm|num=3}} <center>''(if Sauceror)''<br />''or''<br /></center>
{{acquire|item=calle de miel|num=3}} <center>''(if Disco Bandit)''<br />''or''<br /></center>
{{acquire|item=slap and tickle|num=3}} <center>''(if Accordion Thief)''<br />''and''<br /></center>
{{acquire|item=shiny ring}}


You can return to the cellar after completing the quest (although there is no link in game anymore, you can manually access rats.php), but clicking on any of the "Darkness" locations will only generate the message: "All of the rats are gone. There's nothing to do down here anymore."
===KOLHS===
*Bart knows when to [[KOLHS|card]] his patrons.
 
''After turning off the rat faucet:''
 
:"Rat faucet got left on, eh? That was probably Luanne. She was always doin' ditzy stuff like that. Right unfriendly to the customers, too. That's why I fired her ''and'' divorced her. Bart looks you up and down, suspiciously. "Say, I was going to give you some free booze as thanks for gettin' the job done, but I don't think you're old enough to be drinkin'. You got any I.D.?"
 
:"Any idea about what?" you ask, innocently. "Oh, you mean I.D.? Uh, would you take my student I.D.?"
 
:"You're still in high school? Fer cryin' out loud, are you tryin' to get me shut down?" Bart stops and mops his forehead with a rag. "Look, you're a decent sort, and you did help me out, so I'll give you some of the stuff I keep behind the bar for designated drivers.
 
:He hands you a couple of frosty mugs. "Just don't tell anyone I almost served you booze, and don't tell anyone that I served you something that wasn't booze, okay? Okay."
 
{{acquire|item=root beer|num=3}}
 
==Notes==
*The only enemies you will encounter in the cellar are rats, which can be troublesome because of their ability to dodge. They can drop the [[rat whisker]] and the [[rat appendix]].
**Depending on how much you have increased [[Monster Level]], there are three varieties of rat: the [[drunken rat]], the [[bunch of drunken rats]], and the [[drunken rat king]].
*The necessary faucet adventure and the Baron von Ratsworth adventure are randomized per player per ascension. Their locations follow the pattern described [[Tavern Cellar#About square distribution|here]].
*You can bypass four of the noncombats in the [[Tavern Cellar]] without spending an adventure if you have at least 20 bonus elemental damage of the type that each requires ({{element|Cold|}}, {{element|Hot|}}, {{element|Spooky|}}, and {{element|Stench|}}). One easy way to achieve this is by drinking a [[Sockdollager]] from the [[a Speakeasy|clan Speakeasy]], if you have access to it.


==References==
==References==
*The text about "pausing to admire the phrase <nowiki>[</nowiki>''[[Wikipedia:cellar door|cellar door]]''<nowiki>]</nowiki>" is a reference to a claim made by linguist and fantasy author [[Wikipedia:J. R. R. Tolkien|J. R. R. Tolkien]] that most English-speaking people would find the phrase ''cellar door'' itself, disassociated from its sense and its spelling, to be beautiful.  This claim was probably most widely popularized by the movie ''[[Wikipedia:Donnie Darko|Donnie Darko]]'', where Donnie's literature teacher relates it as "A famous linguist once said that of all the phrases in the English language, of all the endless combinations of words, that cellar door was the most beautiful."
*The rat faucet is a possible reference to the [[Wikipedia:Frank Zappa|Frank Zappa]] album ''[[Wikipedia:Waka/Jawaka|Waka/Jawaka]]'', whose cover shows two faucets, labeled "hot" and "rats."
*The quest as a whole is a reference to how, in many role playing games, one of the first quests is to kill a number of rats.
*The quest as a whole is a reference to how, in many role playing games, one of the first quests is to kill a number of rats.
*"Rats in the Cellar" Is a popular Aerosmith song.
*"I Think I Smell A Rat" is also a song sung by [[wikipedia:The White Stripes|The White Stripes]], and is featured in their album ''[[wikipedia:White Blood Cells (album)|White Blood Cells]]''.
==History==
*On October 15, 2005, this quest was significantly changed. The original quest details may be found [http://kol.coldfront.net/thekolwiki/index.php?title=Typical_Tavern_Quest&oldid=33661 here].
*On March 24, 2009, the rewards of this quest were changed. The previous quest details may be found [http://kol.coldfront.net/thekolwiki/index.php?title=Typical_Tavern_Quest&oldid=343275 here].
*On October 22, 2010, this quest was significantly changed again. The previous quest details may be found [http://kol.coldfront.net/thekolwiki/index.php?title=Typical_Tavern_Quest&oldid=365569 here].


[[Category:Quests]]
[[Category:Quests]]

Latest revision as of 02:18, 18 September 2023

Description

After reaching level 3, The Council of Loathing may send you to The Typical Tavern to solve a bit of a rat problem. You will not receive this quest until you have completed the Spooky Forest Quest.

Tasks

Reward

Council Text

On initial visit:

We've received word that the owner of The Typical Tavern, in The Distant Woods, is having a bit of a rat problem. I'm sure he'd reward you if you took care of it for him.

On subsequent visits:

The owner of the Typical Tavern is still bugging us about his rat problems. Perhaps you could help him?

Bartender Text

On initial visit:

"Howdy, Adventurer!" says the jovial man behind the bar. "I'm Bart. Bart Ender."

"Nice to meet ya, Bart. I'm <Player Name>," you say. "The Council says you need some help with something."

"Yup. We've got a bit of a rat problem, y'see. Whole cellar's just thick with 'em. I mean, sure, there are always rats down there -- rats are a crucial part of the fantasy tavern ecosystem. Our problem is that there are too many rats. I need you to figure out why there are so many of 'em, and put a stop to it somehow." he replies.

"So there are... rats... in the cellar... of the tavern," you sigh, "and I have to kill, what, like, ten of them?"

"This isn't a simple matter of 'kill ten rats,' buddy. You need to track 'em back to their source and put a stop to it, whatever it is. Here, lemme unlock the trap door for you. Careful. It's dark down there."

On subsequent visits:

"Hey, if it isn't ol' <Player Name>. Had any luck finding the source of those rats? We're all counting on you!

"If you get thirsty, feel free to order a drink."

After turning off the rat faucet:

"Rat faucet got left on, eh? That was probably Luanne. She was always doin' ditzy stuff like that. Right unfriendly to the customers, too. That's why I fired her and divorced her.

"Anyhow, thanks for your help, <Player Name>. Here -- by way of thanks, have a few drinks on the house!"

You acquire 3 flagons of Typical Tavern swill

Actual Ed the Undying

On initial visit:

On subsequent visits:

After turning on the rat faucet:

"Okay," you tell Bart, "I found the faucet and turned it back on just a little bit. You should be good now."
"Thanks pal!" Bart grins. "My regulars are mighty particular about how the beer tastes."
"Sure, I can imagine," you say, looking around at the bar's clientele, which appears to be a brawl of people too busy hitting each other with their mugs to drink anything out of them, and a hollow-eyed guy standing in the corner nursing a club soda and a fistful of pills. "Anyway, Bart, about <Player Name> -- do you know where he went after he left here?"
"'Fraid not," Bart says, shaking his head. "Just sort of wandered off into the night, like adventurers do. Sorry. But here, let me set you up with a round on the house."
You acquire 3 flagons of Typical Tavern swill

Zombie Slayer

On initial visit:

You shamble up the bar, where Bart Ender is blankly polishing something with a rag. The object in question turns out to be a human skull.
"Howdy, Bart," you say. "How's, um… how's it going?"
"Guhhhhhh," Bart moans amicably.
"I heard you had a bit of rat problem?"
Bart stares at you as the idea slowly, slowly works its way through his ravaged nervous system.
"Raaaaaaaaaatss," he muses, then gives you a wobbly nod.
"Raaaaaatssss," he says again, gesturing at a small iron key hanging from a nail on the wall.
"Right, leave it to me," you reply. You take the key and unlock the trap door to the tavern cellar.

On subsequent visits:

Bart is still polishing that skull. It doesn't look like he's moved since you saw him last. Zombies are creatures of habit, it seems.
"Hi, Bart," you say cheerfully.
"Gruhhhh."
"I'm still working on the rat situation, but don't you worry."
"Gruhhhhh."
"Any chance of a drink?"
"Gruhhhhh."
"So… yes? No? Is that a no?"
"Gruhhhhh."
"Okay, never mind. I'll check back with you later."

The first time after turning off the rat faucet:

"Hey, Bart, I fixed your rat problem. Someone left the faucet on."
"Guhhhhh?"
"I know, right? So how about a drink?"
"Guhhhhh?"
"Oh for… look, don't worry about it, I'll just serve myself, okay?"
"Guhhhhh?"
You grab some mugs and pour yourself some tavern swill. The taps still work, surprisingly, and also surprisingly, the swill doesn't smell any worse than you remember. You would have expected it to get riper with age, or for a zombie to have fallen in one of the kegs and dissolved, or something.
Maybe that did happen, and the tavern swill is so strong, it doesn't make any difference. Or maybe that was Bart's secret ingredient all along.
You acquire 3 flagons of Typical Tavern swill

Thereafter:

"Hi there, Bart."
"Gruhhhhh," he replies, continuing to polish that skull.
"You need any help around the tavern or anything?"
"Gruhhhhh."
"No, I guess not. Um, I don't suppose you have anything for sale? Do you remember how that works? Selling things?"
"Gruhhhhh."
"Never mind," you sigh.

KOLHS

  • Bart knows when to card his patrons.

After turning off the rat faucet:

"Rat faucet got left on, eh? That was probably Luanne. She was always doin' ditzy stuff like that. Right unfriendly to the customers, too. That's why I fired her and divorced her. Bart looks you up and down, suspiciously. "Say, I was going to give you some free booze as thanks for gettin' the job done, but I don't think you're old enough to be drinkin'. You got any I.D.?"
"Any idea about what?" you ask, innocently. "Oh, you mean I.D.? Uh, would you take my student I.D.?"
"You're still in high school? Fer cryin' out loud, are you tryin' to get me shut down?" Bart stops and mops his forehead with a rag. "Look, you're a decent sort, and you did help me out, so I'll give you some of the stuff I keep behind the bar for designated drivers.
He hands you a couple of frosty mugs. "Just don't tell anyone I almost served you booze, and don't tell anyone that I served you something that wasn't booze, okay? Okay."
You acquire 3 bottles of root beer

Notes

  • The only enemies you will encounter in the cellar are rats, which can be troublesome because of their ability to dodge. They can drop the rat whisker and the rat appendix.
  • The necessary faucet adventure and the Baron von Ratsworth adventure are randomized per player per ascension. Their locations follow the pattern described here.
  • You can bypass four of the noncombats in the Tavern Cellar without spending an adventure if you have at least 20 bonus elemental damage of the type that each requires (Cold, Hot, Spooky, and Stench). One easy way to achieve this is by drinking a Sockdollager from the clan Speakeasy, if you have access to it.

References

  • The rat faucet is a possible reference to the Frank Zappa album Waka/Jawaka, whose cover shows two faucets, labeled "hot" and "rats."
  • The quest as a whole is a reference to how, in many role playing games, one of the first quests is to kill a number of rats.
  • "Rats in the Cellar" Is a popular Aerosmith song.
  • "I Think I Smell A Rat" is also a song sung by The White Stripes, and is featured in their album White Blood Cells.

History

  • On October 15, 2005, this quest was significantly changed. The original quest details may be found here.
  • On March 24, 2009, the rewards of this quest were changed. The previous quest details may be found here.
  • On October 22, 2010, this quest was significantly changed again. The previous quest details may be found here.
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