Conjoined zmombie

Conjoined zmombie
Monster ID	197
Locations	The Defiled Alcove
Hit Points	120
Attack	73
Defense	63
No-Hit	83
Initiative	60
Meat	240-360
Phylum	undead
Elements	spooky
Resistance	None
Monster Parts	head, arm, leg, torso
Drops	cranberries, cranberries, loose teeth
Manuel Entry
refreshedit data

 You're fighting a conjoined zmombie

You open the huge coffin, and see a disturbing sight -- a zmombie! More accurately, it's a pair of conjoined zmombies. Wow. Considering the odds of conjoined twins surviving to adulthood and the odds of spontaneous or deliberate zmombification, this must be the rarest thing in the world!

Rarity aside, it's definitely the shambling toward you trying to eat your brainsiest thing in the world, so you should probably get ready for a fight.

Hit Message(s):

It chomps on your frontal and parietal lobes simultaneously. You forget your piano lessons as a kid and your first familiar. Oof! Ow! Eek! (spooky damage)

It grabs you and munches on your <throat> and your <throat> at the same time. Yeow! Eek! Eek! Eek! (spooky damage)

It bangs both of its heads against yours. See the "eight heads" joke in the bat hole for more information. Ooh! Ouch! Ooh! (spooky damage)

It shouts at you with both mouths. It doesn't hurt you physically, but it does hurt your feelings. Argh! Ooh! Oof! (spooky damage)

Critical Hit Message:

It suddenly splits into two fully-formed zmobies, each of which take to munching on one hemisphere of your brain. You find yourself less creative and less analytical simultaneously. Ugh! Argh! Ooh! Ooh! Ouch! Argh! (spooky damage)

Miss Message(s):

It tries to munch your <throat> with both mouths, but accidentally bangs its heads together.

It tries to bang its heads against yours, but you're a better headbanger than a headbangee.

It claws at you with its filthy, filthy fingernails, but you give it an impromptu manicure.

It shouts at you with both mouths, but you shout it down with your one loud mouth.

Fumble Message:

It gets into a long argument about how to best attack you. Since neither head can say anything except "braaaaaains," it's not a productive or a quick argument. (FUMBLE!)

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After Combat

You gain 278−338 Meat

You acquire an item: cranberries

You acquire an item: cranberries

You acquire an item: loose teeth

You gain 53 <substat>.

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Occurs at The Defiled Alcove.

Notes

• This monster is a boss and cannot be copied or insta-killed by normal means. Bosses are also immune to many other mechanics.
• The combat ends with a message that closes the Alcove: "As you end the conjoined zmombies' conjoined lives for the second times, your Evilometer emits a loud beep."
• Sometimes gives 10 turns of Half-Eaten Brain.

  You acquire an effect: Half-Eaten Brain (duration: 10 Adventures)

References

• The "eight heads" joke is an attack message of the Boss Bat.
• It could also be a reference to the movie 8 Heads in a Duffel Bag.
• The "braaaaaains" comment refers to the zombies in the movie The Return of the Living Dead and countless imitators afterwards.