Boss Bat

There are some vague or non-exact figures and information on this page. Some spading is required. How much MP does it steal?

Boss Bat
Monster ID	49
Locations	The Boss Bat's Lair
Hit Points	40
Attack	33
Defense	29
No-Hit	43
Initiative	60
Meat	None
Phylum	beast
Elements	None
Resistance	None
Monster Parts	head, torso, wing
Drops	dense meat stack, batskin belt, Boss Bat britches or Boss Bat bling
Manuel Entry
refreshedit data

 You're fighting The Boss Bat

This is the two-headed bat who runs the Bat Hole. Despite constant arguments with himself which usually leave him with four black eyes.

Hit Message(s):

He headbutts you, with both heads. And both foreheads. All eight heads, then. Ow! Ooh! Ooh! Ow!

He sinks four sets of fangs into your tender <arse>. Ouch squared, dude. Ouch! Oof! Ugh! Ow!

Each head operates a single wing, and they manage to hit you in the <arse> and <arse> simultaneously. Ouch! Argh! Argh! Ow!

The Boss Bat leaps up in ungainly flight, then bombs you with guano. Ewwww, man. Ugh! Argh! Ugh! Eek!

He squeezes you with his talons. What a talonted fellow. Oof! Eek! Ow! Ooh!

He lets loose a piercing squeak from both sets of vocal cords. Do bats have vocal cords? Well, this one does, anyway, and it really hurts when he squeaks at you. Ooh! Argh! Oof! Ooh!

Critical Hit Message:

He flaps his wings and rises ponderously into the air. With a piercing squeak, he swoops down and lands on you, crushing you beneath his freakishly warm, fleshy, deformed body. Ouch! Ow! Eek! Ooh! Ugh!

Miss Message(s):

He tries to headbutt you, but your thick skull doesn't even feel the attack.

The Boss Bat tries to guano-bomb you, but there's guano way you're putting up with that.

The heads argue about which place to hit you, and end up not hitting you at all.

He tries to sink all of his fangs into you, but can't decide which head gets to bite first.

He squeaks at you from both mouths, but manages to harmonize pleasantly.

He tries to squeeze you with his talons, but lacks the talent to do so.

Fumble Message:

He lets loose a piercing squeak and flies up to swoop down on you. Unfortunately, his two heads can't agree about who gets to drive, and he smashes into the wall. (FUMBLE!)

Special Move(s):

The Boss Bat flies up to you and sinks its two pairs of fangs into each of your jugulars. The jugular on each side of your neck. Whatever. You stand helpless as energy is leached out of you, until he disengages, two goofy grins on his faces.

You lose some Mana Points.

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After Combat

You acquire an item: batskin belt (100% chance)*

You acquire an item: dense meat stack (100% chance)*

• If you have any monster aggravation device set to 4:

You acquire an item: Boss Bat britches (100% chance)*

• If you have any monster aggravation device set to 8:

You acquire an item: Boss Bat bling (100% chance)*

You gain 7 <substat>.

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Occurs at The Boss Bat's Lair.

Notes

• This monster is a boss and cannot be copied or insta-killed by normal means. Bosses are also immune to many other mechanics.
• The Boss Bat's special ability is stealing MP. The MP stolen is returned to the Boss Bat as HP.
• Once you have defeated the Boss Bat, this adventure will no longer occur (becomes a one-time adventure).
• According to Jick on the September 30, 2013 radio show, the boss bat's name is Farlgaman.

History

• Prior to a trivial update on August 14, 2014, the Boss Bat dropped a Boss Bat bandana instead of the batskin belt.
• On August 14th, 2021, the Boss Bat's image was changed to the current one. Before that, the Boss Bat looked like this:

References

• The Boss Bat is possibly a reference to the old wives' tale of Rat Kings, i.e., rats with their tails tied together. In the legend, said rats commonly become super-intelligent, and can control the rest of the rats in their lair. Of course, nobody ever hypothesized about what arguments they might have with themselves.
• Except for the dense meat stack, the name and drops of this boss are all alliterative.