Haiku combat

This page is in need of content. Bare-bones layout, needs so many messages. Hey guys please add some. Organization Would be very convenient I'm way too lazy

The Haiku Dungeon,
unlike other areas,
is all in Haiku.

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Gaining Initiative

You leap at your foe, throwing caution to the wind, and get the first strike.

You jump at your foe, and strike before <it>'s ready. Nice and sportsmanlike.

Before <it> sees you, you're already attacking. You're sneaky like that.

Successfully Pickpocketing an item

You acquire something at a serious discount with your deft fingers.

Failing to Pickpocket an item (maybe other skills as well?)

Y'know that... uh... thing? That thing you just tried to do? Well, it didn't work.

Your attempt failed. If at first you don't succeed, maybe just give up?

weapon attack messages

• Successful hit:

You deal X damage with a thrust of your weapon. Nearby, a loon honks.

Your brutal attack deals XXXX damage to your hapless foe.

A sweet summer breeze Wafts around you as you strike XXXX times.

Flocks of cranes in flight fleeing the scene where you caused pain beyond measure.

Autumn leaves falling sound nothing like your weapon as it smacks your foe.

Wow, did you see that? Did you count the damage done? Well, neither did I.

Learn self-reliance calculate your own damage math is hard, young one.

Ripples in a pond a flowing crimson river blood drips from your foe.

• Critical hitting:

That was quite a hit! True, palpable, CRITICAL! (Constructively so.)

• Weapon fumble (followed by damage message):

Hey, pay attention! What just got the drop on you? Oh. Your weapon did.

Winter icicles easily slip through your grasp much like your weapon.

• Player damage message:

Birds can fly away avoiding XX damage. You are not a bird.

The cherry blossoms are as pink as your hit points, X of which you lose.

Skill messages

• Uncastable skill (try to cast no skill, at least):

This is frustrating -- you can't use that skill right now. You kick a pebble.

• Generic damage skill:

By using a skill, you deal a lot of damage. How much? A whole bunch.

Combat item messages

• Nondamage effect item:

Leaping to action, you do some stuff with a thing. It's a lot of fun.

You use an item to some inscrutable end. Hope that worked for you.

Familiar messages

• Meat-finding:

Your familiar grins smiles are lousy umbrellas but good for the soul.

Your familiar winks, making you feel wealthier. The Meat helps, too.

You wish you had Meat. Your familiar blinks one eye. Oo, wish for ponies.

Your familiar winks Meat don't grow on trees, you know it's there on the ground.

When the dust settles your familiar blinks at you but forgets one eye.

• Item-finding:

Your comrade dances, helping you find stuff... somehow? We don't make the rules.

After the battle, your familiar dances 'round, helping you find stuff.

Lotus blossoms bloom Your familiar busts a move. Hey, look, items!

Like a bumblebee your familiar does a dance pointing out more loot.

Dancing familiar looks ridiculous, it's true but you find more stuff.

• Attack:

You can't bear too look as your pet leaps in the fray. You hear XX SMACKS.

Your familiar strikes just like a tiny ninja (you missed what it did).

Stars in the night sky too many to be counted like your pet's attack.

Lotus blossoms bloom your pet hits XXX times handy little guy.

Your little buddy inflicts XXX damage Friendship is awesome.

Your familiar hits, inflicting XX damage. Nice work, little guy!

Before you can blink Your familiar swiftly throws XXX punches.

• Generic:

Aw, that was so cute! I wish you had just seen what your buddy just did.

Mysterious friend what did your familiar do? Meditate on that.

While you're not looking, your familiar does something. Wonder what it was.

Your familiar acts, but you don't see what it does. I'm sure it was cute.

• Gain weight:

From that vicious fight your familiar gains a pound. Vi'lence is its food.

Enemy messages

• Generic hurt message? (from CLEESH'd frog):

The cherry blossoms are as pink as your hit points, 1 of which you lose.

• Generic miss message? (from frog):

Your foe misses you like your mother, wondering "Why doesn't he write?"

Your foe's last attack was like spitting in the sea: ineffectual.

It lunges at you, but ah, Zeno's paradox. It never makes it.

A gentle zephyr caresses your tranquil face, from your foe's missed blow.

• Monster stun message:

The monster is stunned by your panache, your good looks, and some other thing.

End of battle messages=

Winning the fight

With your final blow, you deliver the smackdown. Sweet, sweet victory.

You're victorious, so your name must be Victor. To you go the spoils.

Your foe hits the floor like a bag full of wet sand. It looks like you've won!

You did your best, friend. Losers whine about their best but you're no loser!

Know what time it is? Time for a victory dance! A winner is you!

Your foe hits the floor like a bag full of wet sand. It looks like you've won!

Getting Meat

If meat grows on trees, then it must be autumn now: you gain XX meat.

You find XX Meat just lying there on the ground. Wow! What are the odds!?

The harvest moon glows you can see XXX Meat ripe for the picking.

On the nearby ground you can see XXX Meat. Score! You pick it up.

XXXX Meat lies on the ground before you. Sweet! You pocket it.

XXXX Meat does not grow on trees, you know. It lies on the ground.

End-of-battle substats

• Gaining Muscle substats:

Biceps, triceps, abs, combat's quite a workout, huh? You gain X muscle.

You work up a sweat, gain X muscle from the fight. Sweet! Now go shower.

Gentle reeds must bend but you're mightier than that. You gain X muscle.

You're feeling stronger, having gained X Beefiness. Mighty mighty you.

• Gaining Mysticality substats:

Nothing up your sleeve X magic in your brainpan. Abracadabra.

Delicious magic Your hungry brain scarfs it down. Yum! It tastes like X!

Stars wheel above you. Ancient wisdom fills your brain. You gain X magic!

You gain X magic. Pull a rabbit from a hat? Nah, that's too cliche.

• Gaining Moxie substats:

Extend both thumbs. Who just got X more Moxie? You assert: this guy!

Tranquil zen gardens look uptight next to your cool you get X more Smarm.

Like a winter breeze, keeping your cool in battle, you gain X Chutzpah.

A refreshing pond Is still not as cool as you you gain X Moxie.

You're as smooth as silk, as cool as a popsicle. Your Moxie went up!

Blazing autumn leaves are not as awesome as you. Gain X moxie.

Item drop

By a lotus plant You see a nifty XX. You grab it and go.

A XXXX is now yours for the taking. As such, you take it.

You find an item. A XXXX, in fact. A looter is you!

XXXXX was once your foe's, is now yours. Beaters-up, keepers.

Near you on the ground is a XXXXX. You hork it and jet.

Other

• Twiddling:

You twiddle your thumbs. It's not very productive, but it's kinda fun.

Notes

• Some weapon attack messages don't give the exact damage.
• "102" is pronounced as "one hundred two" for the purpose of syllable count (for example).
• As of yet, Temporary Blindness doesn't interact correctly with the Dungeon (the messages are either not Haiku'd or reveal the monster's identity).

References

• Zeno's paradoxes are ancient Greek proofs of the impossibility of motion.