Advertisements: Difference between revisions

Revision as of 09:13, 23 August 2014

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42 donor ads and 46 nondonor ads. Spade!

There are some vague or non-exact figures and information on this page. Some spading is required.

What constitutes a 'turn'? (Do free runaways, free fights, etc. count?) How accurate is 90 days? (Rollover to rollover, hour to hour, millisecond to millisecond?)

The Kingdom of Loathing is a game that has held itself up for over 11 years with mainly donations. However, they have been slowing down and they need your help! This page lists all the ads that are shown above combat. These ads show up every 30 turns. If you have donated in the past 90 days, you will get a thank-you note. If you have not, you will receive a "nag".

Donor Ads

Thanks for supporting the Kingdom!

Every day that I get to work on this game, I am grateful that I get to write dumb jokes and draw stick figures for a living instead of having to get a real job. And that gratitude is directed at you, <playername>, and to the others like you who support us financially. Thank you.

XOXO,
Jick

Thanks for supporting the Kingdom!

The next time I drink a beer, I will think about the fact that without the support of generous players like you, I would have to get a real job instead of working on this silly game all day.

Then I will raise my beer up and say "Thanks, <playername>," and everybody will look at me weird.

XOXO,
Jick

Thanks for supporting the Kingdom!

At a certain point in every man's life, there comes a time when he either has to eat a sandwich or starve to death. And thanks to the generosity of donors like you, I have the luxury of choosing a sandwich. Thank you for your support.

XOXO,
Jick

Thanks for supporting the Kingdom!

Thank you so much, <playername>, for being a donator. We wouldn't be able to keep the game running without the generosity of players like you. Like, literally. They would turn off the servers if we didn't pay the bills.

XOXO,
Jick

Thanks for supporting the Kingdom!

As the only member of the Asymmetric staff without any marketable skills, I humbly thank you from the bottom of my heart for your donation, which will help keep me employed and off the streets.

SWAK,
Mr. Skullhead

Thanks for supporting the Kingdom!

Thank you so much for your donation. We promise we won't spend it all on comic books and bubble gum; we'll use it to keep the servers running and keep ourselves fed and fit to continue to create this awesome game for you.

SWAK,
Mr. Skullhead

Thanks for supporting the Kingdom!

Look, I know that we're all about the jokes here, but here's some real talk: because of donors like you, the last decade of my life has been spent doing a creatively fulfilling job as part of a great community. So thank you, from the sub-cockular regions of my heart.

SWAK,
Mr. Skullhead

Thanks for supporting the Kingdom!

Thank you, India. Thank you, terror. Thank you disillusionment. And thank you, KoL player, for your donation. Your hard-earned money will help me go deep into the pop-culture mines and pull up more gems like the song lyrics at the beginning of this message.

SWAK,
Mr. Skullhead

Thanks for supporting the Kingdom!

The single most gratifying thing about working for KoL for over a decade is seeing how kind-hearted and generous our community is. While many modern games have to trick you into spending money to buy gems to buy coins to buy upgrades, our players support us without us having to be under-handed or lame. Thanks for helping us stay cool. You're pretty cool yourself, <playername>.

SWAK,
Mr. Skullhead

Thanks for supporting the Kingdom!

Thanks for your donation! In addition to keeping the game running, it will help pay my salary, so I can buy my son some new shoes. That dude always needs new shoes. Like, sometimes you can just sit and watch his feet grow, y'know? Anyway, thanks again.

SWAK,
Mr. Skullhead

Thanks for supporting the Kingdom!

Y'know, every once in a while I'm overcome by the strangeness of my adult career. I've spent 11 years supporting myself and my family by writing puns and jokes for an Internet game. Thanks for helping me keep my awesome, weird job.

SWAK,
Mr. Skullhead

Thanks for supporting the Kingdom!

Given that I have a degree in graphic design but can't actually draw, if I wasn't writing for Kingdom of Loathing, I would probably be working for some terrible advertising firm. Thank you for donating to KoL so that I can make a living with laughter, instead of crushing souls in the monolithic corporate machine.

<3<3<3,
Riff

Thanks for supporting the Kingdom!

Hi, I'm Riff. I have a reputation as being a real bastard when it comes to puzzles, but since you donated recently, I'm going to let you in on a secret: I actually think the playerbase is super awesome, and I love every one of you. Please try to remember that the next time you fall in lava or have to google the lyrics to a Gwen Stefani song.

<3<3<3,
Riff

Thanks for supporting the Kingdom!

Two of my favorite things are programming computers and playing video games. Thanks to you, I get to spend time doing both, at the same time! Sweet!

-CDMoyer

Thanks for supporting the Kingdom!

Hey, you, <playername>. Thanks for donating to the Kingdom! It's your support that keeps us going. Literally. I might have used some of your dollars to pay for the coffee I just drank.

-CDMoyer

Thanks for supporting the Kingdom!

Little kids, like little CDM, often think that the world of programming is awesome. Video games, special effects, interactive AI! In the real world, most programmers are working on some app to synergize the core business at their faceless corporation or a spreadsheet. Meanwhile, your donations let me escape that and work on a video game. And I'm super grateful! Thank you!

-CDMoyer