Filthworm royal guard

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Filthworm royal guard
Monster ID	479
Locations	The Guards' Chamber
Hit Points	190
Attack	169
Defense	152
No-Hit	179
Initiative	50
Meat	80-120
Phylum	bug
Elements	stench
Resistance	None
Monster Parts	head, tail
Drops	None
Quest	filthworm royal guard scent gland
Manuel Entry
refreshedit data

 You're fighting a filthworm royal guard

This is one of the filthworm hive's royal guards. They're like most royal guards, with the exception that they don't have fuzzy hats. What they do have, however, is sharp teeth, a foul odor, and a fierce dedication to the protection of the hive.

Hit Message(s):

It bites you with its big, sharp, pointy teeth. Man, this bites. Argh! Ouch!

It exudes a thick, green cloud of noxiousness from its scent glands. It's like having a zombie hobo breathe on you. Oof! Ooh! (stench damage)

It slaps you with its thick, slimy tail. It's like getting whipped with a foul wet blanket. Argh! Argh! Ugh! Ooh! (stench damage)

Critical Hit Message:

It smacks you with its thick, slimy tail, knocking you over. Then it leaps up on top of you and bites you furiously with its pointy teeth, all the while exuding noxious vapors. It's a little like that blind date you went on in high school. Oof! Ouch!

Miss Message(s):

It tries to bite you, but you've been bitten before, and thus are twice shy about being bitten again.

It tries to slap you with its thick, slimy tail, but can't swing it faster than you can dodge.

It exudes a noxious cloud from its scent glands, but since you didn't deal it, you don't smell it.

Fumble Message:

You jump up and down in front of it, make weird faces, and even step on its tail to try and provoke it. It remembers its royal guard training, however, and doesn't so much as blink. (FUMBLE!)

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After Combat

You gain some Meat

You acquire an item: filthworm royal guard scent gland (? chance)*

You gain 40 <substat>.

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Occurs at The Guards' Chamber

Reference

• The fumble message refers to the guards at Buckingham Palace, who do not respond at all to provocation.
• "Whoever smelt it, dealt it" is a popular comeback used by adolescents (or immature adults) who have been accused of producing odorous flatulence.
• The 'fuzzy hat' is also a part of the royal guard uniform at Buckingham Palace.
• The list of good qualities the guards have is a reference to Monty Python's 'Spanish Inquisition' sketch in which Cardinal Zimennez repeatedly adds qualities of the Spanish inquisition, ending with 'nice red uniforms'.