Getting Tired

Getting Tired

As you're strolling down Burnbarrel Blvd., you look to your right, and see a discarded tire lying on the ground. Then you look to your left, and see an immense pile of burning tires. Then you look within yourself, and a plan forms.

How would you like to enact that plan?

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Put a tire on violently

• If you've already added a tire to the fire gently:

You hurl the tire with all of your might, trying to make it to the top of the tire pile. You don't quite make it, and your tire bounces harmlessly off the side of the pile.

Or perhaps... not so harmlessly after all. A great rumbling slowly builds as the immense pile shifts and shudders, and all at once a great tirevalanche (it's like an avalanche, but with flaming tires, in case you were wondering) pours down the side of the pile.

X flaming tires fly in X different directions, bowling down hapless hobos as they roll.

• If you have not added a tire to the fire gently:

You hurl the tire with all of your might. It hits the stack, catches fire, bounces off, and goes rolling down Burnbarrel Blvd., where it mows down an unsuspecting hobo on his way from one burning building to another.

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Put a tire on gently

You carefully prop the tire up on the burning stack. Due to the ringlike shape of the tire, the flames rise higher.

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Leave the tire alone

You rotate (nearly losing your balance) and leave the tire behind.

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Occurs at Burnbarrel Blvd.

Notes

• When you throw a tire violently, after adding some gently, X is equal to the number of tires you have stacked gently, plus the one that you are throwing.
• As the number of stacked tires increases, the probability of receiving this noncombat adventure decreases significantly; other noncombats will continue to occur at the normal rate.

References

• "Put a tire on gently" references Johnny Cash's "Ring of Fire".
• Possible reference to the Springfield Tire Fire in The Simpsons.