Angry bassist

Angry bassist
Monster ID	969
Locations	Any location, with a Mini-Hipster familiar
Hit Points	75% of player's muscle
Attack	Moxie (cap at 10 000)
Defense	Muscle (cap at 10 000)
Initiative	0
Meat	None
Phylum	dude
Elements	None
Resistance	None
Monster Parts	arm, bass, head, legs
Drops	ironic knit cap
Manuel Entry
refreshedit data

 You're fighting an angry bassist

You suddenly find your way forward blocked by a lanky dude with a knit cap, scraggly moustache, and hip-hugging, skin-tight jeans.

"What the heck, man?" he says. "Octorok Orgy can't play because you pawned my bass so you could get a haircut!"

"Look, I don't even know what you --" you say, but the dude interrupts you.

"I'm not talking to you," he says, "I'm talking to <Familiar Name>!"

<Familiar Name> looks up, surprised. "But I needed a haircut! Why can't I have a haircut?" he says. His logic appears to be lost on the angry bassist, though, so it looks like there's gonna be a throw-down.

ROUND ONE: FIGHT!

Hit Message(s):

He swings a fist at <Familiar Name>, but hits you instead. He doesn't even say, "my bad!" Ooh! Eek! Ugh! Eek! Ouch! Ouch!

He tries to run over <Familiar Name> with his fixed-gear bicycle, but hits you instead. Man, those things are heavy! Ouch! Ooh! Eek! Ouch! Ouch! Ugh!

Critical Hit Message:

not known

Miss Message(s):

not known

Fumble Message:

not known

---

After Combat

Notes

• The angry bassist is identified, including this information next to the image:

DAVID CROSBY Angry Ex-Bassist

References

• This character is based on Stephen Stills, a member of the band in Scott Pilgrim His, David Crosby, much like Stephen Stills, is a member of the Canadian music group Crosby, Stills, Nash and Young. Stephen Stills is voice and guitar, not bassist like David Crosby.