451 Degrees! Burning Down the House!: Difference between revisions
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{{button|Read "Burning Loincloths"}} | {{button|Read "Burning Loincloths"}} | ||
You thumb through "Burning Loincloths" until you get to a promising passage: | |||
''"Take me, Lars, take me!" Helga moaned.'' | |||
''"But my darling Helga, you are betrothed to my karatoom, my blood brother!" Lars protested, but his loincloth spoke a different truth.'' | |||
''"Darling Lars, take me while I am still in my lemofaw, my innocent time before I can do wrong! Your karatoom could not judge us then!"'' | |||
''"Oh, yes, Helga, it shall be so. I pray to the Warlomnat, the council of deceased elders that guides us, that our actions will be forgiven."'' | |||
''Lars drew Helga close, gently pulling at the strings of her fur bikini --"'' | |||
Sadly, the rest of the book is charred beyond legibility. Wow, that was some racy stuff! You feel your moxie rise. | |||
{{stat|mox=gain 200}} | |||
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Revision as of 17:35, 6 June 2009
You find yourself in one of the old neighborhoods of the Seaside Megalopolis. One of the ancient, condemned houses looks vaguely familiar. It dawns on you that you're looking at Spookyraven Manor, or what's left of it, as a gout of flame explodes out of one of the windows in the library. You race inside to investigate, and find a guy with a shoulder-mounted flamethrower hosing down the books.
"Hey, what are you doing? Stop that!"
The guy looks at you like he just scraped you off of his shoe. "I'm doing important work here. I'm burning all of these books to make a clear statement about the complacency of an anti-literate populace."
"I don't know about that," you say, "I mean, you're in a uniform and everything. I think you're making a pretty clear statement about government censorship."
The man shrugs his shoulders. "Have it your way. Either way, these books have got to go. Here, you can thumb through some if you want; I won't tell anyone." You see a couple of books that haven't been singed yet.
| Read "Burning Loincloths" |
You thumb through "Burning Loincloths" until you get to a promising passage:
"Take me, Lars, take me!" Helga moaned.
"But my darling Helga, you are betrothed to my karatoom, my blood brother!" Lars protested, but his loincloth spoke a different truth.
"Darling Lars, take me while I am still in my lemofaw, my innocent time before I can do wrong! Your karatoom could not judge us then!"
"Oh, yes, Helga, it shall be so. I pray to the Warlomnat, the council of deceased elders that guides us, that our actions will be forgiven."
Lars drew Helga close, gently pulling at the strings of her fur bikini --"
Sadly, the rest of the book is charred beyond legibility. Wow, that was some racy stuff! You feel your moxie rise.
| You gain 200 Sarcasm. |
| Read "Tuesdays with the Supreme Being" |
You thumb through "Tuesdays With the Supreme Being." It's the heartwarming tale of a young man who spends his afternoons with the anthropomorphic personification of perfection, and learns all kinds of life lessons. Most of that crap's pretty boring -- treat people how you'd like to be treated, don't put your genitals in the punch bowl, that kind of thing.
The glossary at the back is pretty useful, though; apparently, the Supreme Being speaks a language composed mostly of vowels and liquid consonants. Kind of like a cross between baby talk and Hawaiian. You tear out that section and take it with you.
 | You acquire an item: Supreme Being Glossary |
| Read "Tears of the Dragon-Vampire" |
Occurs at Seaside Megalopolis.
References
- This adventure is a reference to Farenheit 451, a utopia by Ray Bradbury, where all books are burnt by so called "firemen" with "shoulder-mounted flamethrowers".
- The second book is (in part) a reference to Tuesdays With Morrie, a true story by Mitch Albom. Albom listened over some time to an old professor of his who was slowly dying to ALS.
