Argarggagarg the Dire Hellseal

Argarggagarg the Dire Hellseal
Monster ID	701
Locations	Anywhere, after defeating a hunting seal.
Hit Points	150
Attack	115
Defense	103
Initiative	60
Meat	None
Phylum	demon
Elements	None
Resistance	None
Monster Parts	head, flipper, tail
Drops	Argarggagarg's fang, adorable seal larva
Quest	secret tropical island volcano lair map
Manuel Entry
refreshedit data

 You're fighting Argarggagarg the Dire Hellseal

Rather unexpectedly, dark stormclouds roll in from the north, blotting out the sun. There is a sudden crash of thunder, and you hear, somewhere close by, a bestial howling that sends shivers down your spine. Adrenaline pumping, you try to pinpoint the source of the noise. You hear it again, closer this time, and this time... in stereo? Your stomach turns to ice -- could it be...?

Lightning strikes, momentarily blinding you, and then... there he is, towering over you, the ravenous, two-headed monstrosity Argarggagarg, the Dire Hellseal! If murderous beasts like Gorgolok can be said to have lieutenants, then Argarggagarg is it; they say he was the only seal ever to challenge Gorgolok's authority as alpha male and survive the ensuing battle.

His black hide is scarred from the dozens -- hundreds! -- of attempts made to destroy him by your northern kinsmen, none of whom came back alive. Here and there an ancient broken spear juts out of Argargaggarg's hide as testament to his indomitability. Two pairs of hellishly glowing red eyes glare at you; two horribly-fanged maws drool.

This is probably gonna suck bigtime.

Hit Message(s):

He swipes you with one massive flipper. You feel like a pinball. But you don't know where you can get one at this time of night. Oof! Ouch!

He bites you in the arm and groin. Two mouths, no waiting!Oof! Oof!

Critical Hit Message:

He realize he's never going to survive unless he gets a little crazy, and goes into a biting, goring, and mauling frenzy. Eek! Ow!

Miss Message(s):

He lunges at you, but you dodge backwards, thanking the evolutionary gods that you have legs.

He swipes at you with one massive flipper, but you dodge and flip him off.

He tries to bite you, but can't decide which part to bite with which mouth.

He lunges at you, but you call him "four-eyes," and he seems offended.

He pulls a spear from his hide and hurls it at you, but you hide from the hurled spear.

He smacks at you with his massive tail, but you've read about that attack in several massive tales

Fumble Message:

not known

---

After Combat

You acquire an item: secret tropical island volcano lair map (100% chance)*

You acquire an item: Argarggagarg's fang (100% chance)*

You acquire an item: adorable seal larva (100% chance)*

You gain 32 <substat>.

Notes

• Appears to occur at any adventure.php location, and will only occur after you defeat your nemesis in the Dark and Dank Sinsister Cave.
• This monster may be encountered while falling-down drunk.

(Encountered after the Hunting seal) After this enemy is encountered, the following text appears under Guild Quests: Now that you've dealt with your Nemesis' assassins and found a map to the secret tropical island volcano lair, it's time to take the fight to your foe. Booyah.

References

• The line containing the the phrase "he's never going to survive unless he gets a little crazy" is a reference to the song "Crazy" by Seal.
• The name and appearance of Argarggagarg may be a reference to the character Agrajag from Douglas Adam's "Life, the Universe, and Everything."