Killer Festive Weapons-Assembly Elfbot

Killer Festive Weapons-Assembly Elfbot
Monster ID	unknown
Locations	The Crimborg Collective Factory
Hit Points	Equal to player HP
Attack	Scales with player stats
Defense	Scales with player stats
Initiative	Indeterminate
Meat	None
Phylum	Indeterminate
Elements	None
Resistance	None
Monster Parts	Indeterminate
Drops	capacitor relay, carbon nanotube frame, Feynman gate, high-resistance ultrapolymer plating, ion grid, logic synthesizer
Quest	flask of peppermint oil
refreshedit data

 You're fighting a Killer Festive Weapons-Assembly Elfbot

This is one of the killer robots from the future, (mostly) reprogrammed by the Crimborg to help make fun, futuristic toys. This particular elfbot specializes in weapons assembly. He's much more efficient than the elfbot in charge of weapons dissembling, since that one just denies there're any weapons at all. Anyway, you might imagine that a robot that puts together weapons for a living has a pretty impressive arsenal, and you'd be right.

Hit Message(s):

It stomps on you with its big metal feet. That's no mean feat, but it is a pair of mean feet. Argh! Ouch! Ow! Ouch!

It fires a crossbow bolt straight through your <eye>. Happy Crimbo! Ooh! Ooh! Ouch!

It crushes your <eye> in its calipers. That's gonna leave a mark. Happy Crimbo! Ouch! Eek! Ow!

It extrudes a liquid-metal sharp pointy thing and stabs you in the <eye>. Eek! Eek! Argh!

Critical Hit Message:

It extends six or seven wiry appendages, each of which holds a different deadly weapon. You quickly find yourself dodging a hail of bullets, arrows, laserbolts, rocks, and one frightened chicken. Oof! Ouch! Oof! Eek!

Miss Message(s):

It tries to morph into another deadly shape, but gets stuck midway through the transformation.

It tries to stomp on you with its big metal feet, but you find it a trivial feat to dodge them.

It fires a crossbow bolt at you, but you bolt away from it.

It tries to crush you in its calipers, but you don't wanna be crushed, buried in fear, or left for töt.

Fumble Message:

It pulls several triggers on several different weapons, eliciting a series of hollow *click* noises. Looks like the elfbot in charge of actually loading the weapons is on a smoke break. (FUMBLE!)

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After Combat

You acquire an item: capacitor relay (8.1% chance)*

You acquire an item: carbon nanotube frame (8.2% chance)*

You acquire an item: ion grid (7.6% chance)*

You acquire an item: Feynman gate (8.3% chance)*

You acquire an item: logic synthesizer (7.9% chance)*

You acquire an item: high-resistance ultrapolymer plating (4.2% chance)*

You gain some <substat>.

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Occurs at The Crimborg Collective Factory.

References

• The liquid metal-based attacks/misses may be a reference to the T-1000 from the Second Terminator movie.
• Denying the existence of weapons is a reference to the "weapons of mass destruction" that the Iraqis "possessed".
• The miss message "crushed, buried in fear, or left for töt" refers to the MC Frontalot/KOMPRESSOR song "Rappers We Crush."
• The the frightened chicken in the critical hit message may be a reference to the chicken gun from dungeon seige.