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In the King's absence, [[the Council of Loathing]] convened to attempt to impose order on the Kingdom. Their success was limited, however, to [[Quest Spoilers#The Council of Loathing Quests|imposing their will]] on adventurers who came to the Kingdom seeking fame, fortune, or [[:Category:NPC Stores|quality products at reasonable prices]]. And as you've probably guessed by now, one of those adventurers is you!
In the King's absence, [[the Council of Loathing]] convened to attempt to impose order on the Kingdom. Their success was limited, however, to [[Quest Spoilers#The Council of Loathing Quests|imposing their will]] on adventurers who came to the Kingdom seeking fame, fortune, or [[:Category:NPC Stores|quality products at reasonable prices]]. And as you've probably guessed by now, one of those adventurers is you!
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==Kingdom of Loathing, told by [http://www.encyclopediadramatica.com/index.php/Kingdom_of_Loathing/ ED]==
Kingdom of Loathing is a shit MMORPG, appealing largely to goths, 13 year old boys and your mom. Allah willing, the people responsible for this abortion will be sacrificed to Raptor Jesus.
==The Game==
The game begins with the premise of An Adventurer is you! (A homage to the engrish phrase, "a winner is you") and proceeds to present the player with state-of-the-art graphics (pencil drawings) and epic adventures (repetitive clicking) through a vast continent (about 10 pages). The game is filled with a myriad of enemies (stick men and aborted doodles) and items (different types of hats and pants). The game itself is a complete fucking catastrophe based on an imbecilic premise: what if the typical fantasy elements in typical online role playing games were replaced with something wackier? OMG! Instead of using gold as currency, we'll use meat! If that doesn't sound like the funniest shit on earth to you, you're bound to hate the fuck out of Kingdom of Loathing. It it marginally more fun to play than Final Fantasy. Marginally...
==Game Mechanics==
The game uses lots of math. Lots of players try to work out the mechanics, but its so complicated only the game's designers understand it.
==Humor==
[http://www.encyclopediadramatica.com/index.php/Boring OMG, This game is so wacky!]
==Radio KoL==
Kingdom of Loathing stands apart from even marginally enjoyable computer games by virtue of its streaming internet radio station, Radio KoL. In between 10 song blocks of artists ranging from They Might Be Giants to They Might Be Giants, listeners are often treated to the batshit rantings of the disc jockeys, who are all, without exception fat goth drama whores from New Jersey. What's worse, their fanboys keep fucking with this article, depriving it of precious, life sustaining lulz.
==Leads to Murder?==
[http://cbs13.com/topstories/topstories_story_105163310.html Kingdom of Loathing is directly responsible for the cannibal murder of a 10 year old girl.] I just hope they're happy, the fuckers.
==ED External Links==
[http://s30.photobucket.com/albums/c314/Dhampire73/KoLCon/ Typical Kingdom of Loathing players]
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==External Links==
==External Links==

Revision as of 20:14, 23 March 2007

The Kingdom of Loathing

An Adventurer is You!

The Kingdom of Loathing is a humorous, satirical, and most importantly free MMORPG created by Asymmetric Publications (Zack "Jick" Johnson and Josh "Mr. Skullhead" Nite). Born on January 31st, 2003 almost as a joke, it is notable for the usage of simple stick figure graphics, surreal gameplay, and its slogan, "An Adventurer is You!".

KoL is currently in open beta -- it's open to the public to play, but it's not quite finished. More features and things to do are being added on a nearly daily basis. Despite its unfinished state, it has already attracted a thriving community of interesting, intelligent, and helpful players.

KoL is, and always will be, free to play, but donations are appreciated and rewarded.

KoL is played from the comfort of your browser, and is adorned with a staggering array of stunning hand-drawn images. It is turn-based, which means you get a certain number of turns (Adventures) each day.

The description could go on forever, encompassing the economy of KoL, the events, the scandals. And maybe even the gameplay, if we have time. But really, the only way to find out what the Kingdom of Loathing is like is to play it, or as the case may be obsessively read this Wiki.

Storyline

The Kingdom of Loathing was once a pleasant place, where all the citizens loathed one another equally and nobody caused too much trouble. Under the gentle rule of King Ralph XI, peace had prevailed for as long as anybody could remember.

One fateful Porktober morning, a Sorceress came to the Kingdom. A Naughty Sorceress. A Naughty Sorceress who was clearly up to no good, and even more clearly up to plenty of bad. King Ralph sought to expel the Naughty Sorceress from his Kingdom, but she imprismed him in a black crystalline shard of curdled magic. It was very dramatic.

Monsters emerged from their hidey-holes to terrorize the citizens of Loathing, and larger monsters emerged from larger hidey-holes to terrorize those monsters, all under the control of the Naughty Sorceress.

In the King's absence, the Council of Loathing convened to attempt to impose order on the Kingdom. Their success was limited, however, to imposing their will on adventurers who came to the Kingdom seeking fame, fortune, or quality products at reasonable prices. And as you've probably guessed by now, one of those adventurers is you!

References

  • The phrase "Jick-tested, Skullhead approved" is a nod to Kix cereal slogan kid-tested, mother-approved.
  • The Kingdom of Loathing slogan, "An Adventurer is You!", is a parody of the engrish "A Winner is You!" victory message in the 1986 NES videogame, Pro Wrestling.