Knob Goblin Elite Guardsman: Difference between revisions

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imported>Gymnosophist
m Add shirt note
imported>Dehstil
aha! this is for the bean counter only, confirmed with several adventures, unless that's just rng
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{{NeedsContent|comment=miss message}}
{{battletop|image=Goblinaxe.gif|a=a|name=Knob Goblin Elite Guardsman|text=This Guardsman is among the fiercest and most loyal of the Goblin King's Guards. He's so big his plate-mail is actually platter-mail.}}
{{battletop|image=Goblinaxe.gif|a=a|name=Knob Goblin Elite Guardsman|text=This Guardsman is among the fiercest and most loyal of the Goblin King's Guards. He's so big his plate-mail is actually platter-mail.}}


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He hits you in the butt end with the butt end of his polearm. {{ouch|4}}
He hits you in the butt end with the butt end of his polearm. {{ouch|4}}
He hits you [[Thirty-seven|37]] times (in a row), counting each time carefully. {{ouch|3}}





Revision as of 22:12, 8 September 2006

Template:Battletop

He pounds on your <neck> with his shield. Irony! Argh!

He swings his mighty polearm and catches you square in the <neck>. Ugh! Oof! Ooh!

He throws his shield like a frisbee. It makes a pleasant ringing sound as it caroms off your <neck>. Ooh! Oof!

He hits you in the butt end with the butt end of his polearm. Ooh! Eek! Ow! Ugh!


He calls in a phalanx of guardsmen to do an elite guardsman march.... directly over you. You're crushed beneath twenty foul-smelling feet. Ouch! Ouch!


He tries to gore you with his helmet horns, but you leap aside and he gets them stuck in the wall.

He swings his mighty polearm at you, but overestimates its size and misses by a good coupla inches.

He throws his shield at you, like a frisbee, but you catch it in your mouth and return it.

He tries to hit you in the butt end with the butt end of his polearm, but you head him off. You butthead.


He starts marching in a circle, chanting "Oh-weee-oh... yeeeoooo-ah." Must be some kind of knob goblin battle song. Or maybe he just dropped his polearm on his foot. Either way, he isn't attacking.


You gain 40−65 Meat (average: 51.2, stdev: 4.7)*
You acquire an item: Knob Goblin elite helm (3.7% chance)*
You acquire an item: Knob Goblin elite pants (4.4% chance)*
You acquire an item: Knob Goblin elite polearm (3.8% chance)*
You acquire an item: Knob Goblin elite shirt (7.0% chance)*
You gain 6 <substat>.

Occurs at Treasury and Harem.

Notes

References

  • The references in the combat description to the guard throwing his shield allude to the 1982 film Tron, where the "elite guards" and others threw frisbee-like disks as weapons.
  • "37 times (in a row)" message is a reference to Clerks.
  • The "you catch it in your mouth and return it" miss message refers to how playing frisbee with a dog is commonly played.
  • The fumble message is a reference to "The Wizard of Oz," specifically the chant of the Winkie guards when they come out of the Castle of the Wicked Witch.