Knob Goblin Mad Scientist

He stabs you with a syringe. You feel a sharp pain as your <face> turns into an avocado and back again. Ouch! Ugh! Ow! Ouch!

He produces a cabbage genetically engineered to have razor-sharp leaves and heaves it at you. Ouch! Ooh! Ow!

He pokes you with a series of scientific implements, bearing out his hypothesis that they'll really, really hurt you. Ooh! Argh! Eek! Ouch!

He opens a cage and unleashes a shambling horror that is part gnoll, part knob goblin, and part rutabega. It proceeds to beat several pounds of stuffing out of you. Oof! Ooh! Ow! Ooh!

He tries to stab you with a syringe, but you stab him first with whatever weapon you're carrying. Yes, even if it's a club.

He throws some genetically modified produce at you, but you dodge like a bad comedian on Open Mic night.

He tries to poke you with his scientific tools, but can't seem to find the proper scientific method to do so.

He reaches over and grabs a syringe labeled "Muscle Enhancer," then jabs himself with it. His muscles quickly swell in size. They continue to swell as he approaches you, though, until they're so big he can't move. Which is not so swell.

You gain 32−51 Meat (average: 40.4, stdev: 3.7)*

You acquire an item: Knob Goblin love potion (10.0% chance)*

You acquire an item: Knob Goblin seltzer (20.1% chance)*

You acquire an item: Knob Goblin steroids (10.0% chance)*

You gain 8 <substat>.

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Occurs at Laboratory.