Melon Collie and the Infinite Lameness

Choice adventure number: 675

Melon Collie and the Infinite Lameness

This room is decorated in only three colors: red, the color of blood; black, the color of despair; and white, the color of bone (and pancake makeup for dressing like a sad clown). There are posters on the walls for bands with names like "Chrysalis Infarction," "She Stubbed My Soul," and "Unbeloved." There's a whole shelf devoted to black-and-white comic books with titles like "Timmy the Deranged Serial Killer."

All in all, it's one solidly depressing affair, and the most depressing thing is the Goth Giant sobbing in his candle-lit bed while maudlin music plays. If you want to get out of here without waking him, you might try following the puffs of steam coming from a crack in the baseboards.

End His Suffering

You leap onto the Goth Giant's bed and poke him with your weapon. He sits up, blinks at you, and whispers "Thank you."

Fight a Goth Giant

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Change up the Music

If this is the correct item:

You put on the drum 'n' bass and some more drum 'n' bass record. After a few short seconds of THUMP THUMP THUMP THUMPTHUMP THUMP, the goth giant sits up and wipes his tears on a lace handkerchief.

"You have RUINED my EXQUISITE suffering with your dance music!" he says, glaring through eyes coated in black eyeliner. He picks you up and hurls you across the room, right through the poster for "Succubus Refrigerator."

You brace yourself to be splatted into a wall, but instead rip through the poster and come to a rolling stop on the kitchen counter, next to the chore wheel. Whew!

Takes you to Keep On Turnin' the Wheel in the Sky

Else:

You put on the drum 'n' bass 'n' drum 'n' bass record. A few bars in, the Goth Giant sits up and wipes his mascara-runny eyes. "This music does NOT address the endless beautiful suffering of my eternal ennui!" he shouts, and flings you out the nearest window. Fortunately, there's no glass in the window; unfortunately, you're now back outside the castle.

You lose an item: drum 'n' bass 'n' drum 'n' bass record

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Snag some Candles

You blow out a few of the candles and slide them into your inventory sack. The room is even darker and more grim now, but that's the way the Goth Giant likes it.

You acquire 3 thin black candles

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Gimme Steam

You go to the crack in the baseboards, wait for a puff of steam to clear it, then slip through. You emerge on a shelf next to a model zeppelin and a pocketwatch with way too many extra gears on it.

Takes you to Copper Feel

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Occurs at the Top Floor

Notes

• Change up the Music is only visible with a drum 'n' bass 'n' drum 'n' bass record in your inventory.

References

• A black and white comic titled "Timmy the Deranged Serial Killer" likely refers to Johnny the Homicidal Maniac by Jhonen Vasquez.
• The title of the adventure refers to the Smashing Pumpkins' album Melon Collie and the Infinite Sadness.