Mer-kin drifter

There are some vague or non-exact figures and information on this page. Some spading is required. Stun resistance

Mer-kin drifter
Monster ID	851
Locations	Mer-kin Library
Hit Points	1000
Attack	850
Defense	800
Initiative	25
Meat	unknown
Phylum	mer-kin
Elements	None
Resistance	?
Monster Parts	arm, head, tail, torso
Drops	Mer-kin begsign, Mer-kin cooljuice, Mer-kin knucklebone
Manuel Entry
refreshedit data

 You're fighting a Mer-kin drifter

In this magic moment, you've encountered a Mer-kin drifter. He usually hangs out under the boardwalk, or up on the roof, but sometimes he comes into the library. He's less interested in exploring tomes of arcane knowledge, and more interested in a warm place to sleep and a bathroom where he can take a sponge bath.

Before you ask: yes, the sponges aren't thrilled about that arrangement at all.

Hit Message(s):

He makes a shank out of a bookmark and shanks you in the <groin>. Ugh! Argh! Argh! Oof! Argh!

He pokes you with his bindle. Spindles you with it, you might say. Ooh! Oof! Ow! Oof! Ooh!

He gives you a big hug. His four-day beard scratches you something fierce. Oof! Ow! Argh! Argh! Ooh!

He jams his harmonica down your throat. For a few minutes, you sound like that dude from Blues Traveler. Eek! Ouch! Ouch! Oof! Eek!

Critical Hit Message:

He drifts over and smacks you up one side, down the other, and across the middle with his bindle. Then he holds up a sign that says, "will beat you senseless for sand dollars." You decline to give him any. Oof! Argh! Eek! Argh! Ooh!

Miss Message(s):

He tries to shank you, but you say, "no shanks, man."

He tries to spindle you on his bindle, but you rundle out of the waydle.

He tries to jam his harmonica down your throat, but you've finally become selective about what you allow to be jammed in there.

Fumble Message:

He holds up a sign that says "will work for sand dollars." You hold up a sign that says "will wheaton for the win." (FUMBLE!)

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After Combat

You acquire an item: Mer-kin begsign (4% chance)*

You acquire an item: Mer-kin cooljuice (20% chance)*

You acquire an item: Mer-kin knucklebone (10% chance)*

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Occurs at the Mer-kin Library.

Notes

• This monster has a soft damage cap that kicks in if your attack would do more than 400 damage. The actual damage done in that case is (X-400)^.75 + 400, where X is the damage your attack would have done without the cap.
• This monster has a chance of shrugging off multi-round stuns, including the round they are used. If a stun is shrugged off instead of wearing off normally the monster will also attack that round.

References

• "This Magic Moment", "Under the Boardwalk" and "Up on the Roof" are all songs by The Drifters
• The fumble message is likely a reference to the American actor Wil Wheaton, who starred in multiple TV shows, including Star Trek: The Next Generation.