Principal Mooney: Difference between revisions
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"Okay, fine. You know, Principal Mooney, your life moves pretty fast. If you don't stop and look around every once in a while, I'm going to end it!" | "Okay, fine. You know, Principal Mooney, your life moves pretty fast. If you don't stop and look around every once in a while, I'm going to end it!" | ||
|hit=He raps your knuckles with a ruler. Who would have thought a foot could hurt your hand so much?{{ouch|4}} | |hit=He raps your knuckles with a ruler. Who would have thought a foot could hurt your hand so much? {{ouch|4}} | ||
|miss= | He tells you that a principal just wants to be your 'pal,' tricks you into shaking hands with him, then smacks you with his other hand. {{ouch|4}} | ||
He shouts that you can't have your pudding if you don't eat your meat, then whacks your butt with a cane. What a freak! {{ouch|4}} | |||
He says he doesn't trust you any farther than he can throw you, and then chucks you across the room to prove the point. {{ouch|4}} | |||
Threatens you with another ''year'' of high school, under his close personal supervision. The thought of spending yet another year under the Principal's thumb terrifies you. {{ouch|4}} {{element|spooky}} | |||
|miss=He tries to insinuate that you've been skipping school and faking sick, but you point out that your attendance record is absolutely spotless. For a minute, he wonders if he's got the wrong student. | |||
|critical= | |critical= | ||
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|fumble=}} | |fumble=}} | ||
Principal Mooney falls to the ground. "NOOO!" he shouts. "I can't let you win! The example you set is a first-class ticket to nowhere!" | *''At the start of combat, he removes some effects:'' | ||
<center>Principal Mooney looks at you and slowly shakes his head. "You seem a little... ''overeager''," he says as he fixes you with a particularly withering stare.</center> | |||
*''Upon defeating him:'' | |||
:Principal Mooney falls to the ground. "NOOO!" he shouts. "I can't let you win! The example you set is a first-class ticket to nowhere!" | |||
"You were supposed to be my princi-pal," you reply, "but this single-minded pursuit of a student who already graduated proves that you're not capable of doing your job! I have to take you out," you continue, pulling a pair of sunglasses out and putting them on, "it's a matter of--principle." | :"You were supposed to be my princi-pal," you reply, "but this single-minded pursuit of a student who already graduated proves that you're not capable of doing your job! I have to take you out," you continue, pulling a pair of sunglasses out and putting them on, "it's a matter of--principle." | ||
At which point the soundtrack tries to be all, "Don't you forget about me," and "YEAAAAAAAAAH" at the same time, and the combination of sounds makes poor Principal Mooney's head explode. But hey, if it's too loud, he's too old. | :At which point the soundtrack tries to be all, "Don't you forget about me," and "YEAAAAAAAAAH" at the same time, and the combination of sounds makes poor Principal Mooney's head explode. But hey, if it's too loud, he's too old. | ||
You know, you learned something today. Deep down, we're all a dweebo, a wastoid, a sporto, and a motorhead. And even deeper down, it's all blood and guts and stuff. | :You know, you learned something today. Deep down, we're all a dweebo, a wastoid, a sporto, and a motorhead. And even deeper down, it's all blood and guts and stuff. | ||
{{acquire|item=Thwaitgold bookworm statuette}} | {{acquire|item=Thwaitgold bookworm statuette}} | ||
Revision as of 19:26, 22 August 2013
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This page is in need of content.
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| Principal Mooney | |
|---|---|
| Monster ID | 1425 |
| Locations | The Naughty Sorceress' Tower |
| Hit Points | 1000 |
| Attack | 220 |
| Defense | 210 |
| Initiative | ∞ |
| Meat | unknown |
| Phylum | dude |
| Elements | None |
| Resistance | ? |
| Monster Parts | arm, head, leg, torso |
| Drops | Thwaitgold bookworm statuette |
| Manuel Entry | |
| refreshedit data | |
You're fighting Principal MooneyYou stride into the sorceress's chambers. She has her back to you and she's silhouetted in the moonlight. All you can see is long black hair, a bodice, and a long black skirt. "The time has come for you to face your destruction, foul sorceress!" You shout. "For too long you have plagued this land!" Slowly, the sorceress turns around.
"So, you're the beautiful but evil sorceress everyone talks about? I mean, I may not be a prize myself, but the orange mustache is a little much," you say, taken aback.
The sorceress pulls off her black wig to reveal short-cropped ginger hair. She glares at you. "Les jeux sont faints. Translation: the game is up. Your ass is mine," she says.
"You're...you're not a naughty sorceress at all! You're--"
"That's right! It's me, Principal Mooney! I've been watching you all through your high school career. You have an attitude problem. You think the rules don't apply to you. You fight with your teachers, students, and inanimate objects instead of learning."
"Hey, I went to class every day! I did my time!" you shout.
"The school board's not pleased with the way whippersnappers like you rule my school," Principal Mooney replies, "and I did not achieve this position in life by having some snot-nosed punk leave my cheese out in the wind!"
"Leave your what out in the who?" you ask.
"I mean, I'm going to erase the problem by erasing you," he responds. "Your permanent record's looking a little more temporary these days."
"I have to fight you? Man. Could you do me a favor? Could you at least take off the bodice and the skirt?"
"No, and if you ask why, I'm giving you double detention," he responds.
"Okay, fine. You know, Principal Mooney, your life moves pretty fast. If you don't stop and look around every once in a while, I'm going to end it!"
Hit Message(s):
He raps your knuckles with a ruler. Who would have thought a foot could hurt your hand so much? Argh! Ooh! Ooh! Ow!
He tells you that a principal just wants to be your 'pal,' tricks you into shaking hands with him, then smacks you with his other hand. Ugh! Ouch! Ooh! Ugh!
He shouts that you can't have your pudding if you don't eat your meat, then whacks your butt with a cane. What a freak! Oof! Ow! Ouch! Eek!
He says he doesn't trust you any farther than he can throw you, and then chucks you across the room to prove the point. Eek! Ow! Ooh! Eek!
Threatens you with another year of high school, under his close personal supervision. The thought of spending yet another year under the Principal's thumb terrifies you. Ouch! Ugh! Ugh! Argh! (spooky damage)
not known
He tries to insinuate that you've been skipping school and faking sick, but you point out that your attendance record is absolutely spotless. For a minute, he wonders if he's got the wrong student.
not known
- At the start of combat, he removes some effects:
- Upon defeating him:
- Principal Mooney falls to the ground. "NOOO!" he shouts. "I can't let you win! The example you set is a first-class ticket to nowhere!"
- "You were supposed to be my princi-pal," you reply, "but this single-minded pursuit of a student who already graduated proves that you're not capable of doing your job! I have to take you out," you continue, pulling a pair of sunglasses out and putting them on, "it's a matter of--principle."
- At which point the soundtrack tries to be all, "Don't you forget about me," and "YEAAAAAAAAAH" at the same time, and the combination of sounds makes poor Principal Mooney's head explode. But hey, if it's too loud, he's too old.
- You know, you learned something today. Deep down, we're all a dweebo, a wastoid, a sporto, and a motorhead. And even deeper down, it's all blood and guts and stuff.
 | You acquire an item: Thwaitgold bookworm statuette |
Occurs at The Sorceress's Chamber, if you are in the KOLHS path.
History
- Prior to August 20, 2013, Mooney did not strip you of all your buffs when starting the fight.
References
- The name and "game is up" quote and 'Mooney' are a reference to Ed Rooney in Ferris Bueller's Day Off.
- The "Deep down, we're all a..." quote is a reference to Anthony Michael Hall/Brian Johnson's detention essay in The Breakfast Club.
- "Don't You (Forget About Me)" is a song by Simple Minds, and the closing theme to 1985 highschool comedy-drama The Breakfast Club.
- "YEAAAAAAAAAH" is a reference to the Puts On Sunglasses meme, and comes from the song "Won't Get Fooled Again" by The Who.
- "if it's too loud, he's too old" is a reference to Kiss's album "If It's Too Loud, You're Too Old"
- The image filename of Chalmers.gif is a reference to Superintendent Chalmers of The Simpsons.
