Quest Spoilers

For complete spoilers, follow the link to what you're looking for. Most quests open up according to your level. Your progress in most of the quests can be tracked in the Quest Log.

The Council of Loathing Quests

• Level 1 - Toot Oriole Quest ("Toot!") (tutorial; first ascension only)
• Level 2 - Spooky Forest Quest ("Looking for a Larva in All the Wrong Places")
• Level 3 - Typical Tavern Quest ("Ooh, I Think I Smell a Rat.")
• Level 4 - Boss Bat Quest ("Ooh, I Think I Smell a Bat.")
• Level 5 - The King of Cobb's Knob Quest ("The Goblin Who Wouldn't Be King")
• Level 6 - Deep Fat Friars' Gate Quest ("Trial By Friar")
• Level 7 - Undefile the Cyrpt Quest ("Cyrptic Emanations")
• Level 8 - Mt. McLargeHuge Quest ("Am I my Trapper's Keeper?")
• Level 9 - Strange Leaflet Quest (optional)
• Level 9 - Orc Chasm Quest ("A Quest, LOL")
• Level 10 - Giant Trash Quest ("The Rain on the Plains is Mainly Garbage")
• Level 11 - Quest for the Holy MacGuffin ("<Player Name> and the Quest for the Holy MacGuffin")
• Level 12 - Mysterious Island Quest ("Make War, Not... Oh, Wait")
• Level 13 - Naughty Sorceress Quest ("The Final Ultimate Epic Final Conflict")

Note that newly-ascended characters can't complete the Toot Oriole's Quest again. They should still visit Mt. Noob for a special delivery. All other Council quests (except the strange leaflet) must be completed before the Naughty Sorceress Quest becomes available.

Also note that on October 32 (November 1st), 2005, The Council of Loathing gave the Zombie Cure Quest / Doc Galaktik's Quest for a Cure to everyone. The Gray Plague and its quests were ended on November 6th, after the entire population of the Kingdom was vaccinated. The sick ones, anyway.

Guild Quests

• Bitchin' Meatcar Quest ("My Other Car Is Made of Meat")
• The Wizard of Ego Quest
• White Citadel Quest ("<Player Name> and <Familiar Name> Go To White Citadel") (If you do not currently have a familiar with you, the Familiar Name defaults to Kumar.)
• Dwarven Factory Quest
• Legendary Epic Weapon Quest ("Me and My Nemesis")
• A Dark and Dank and Sinister Quest

Miscellaneous Quests

• Defend the Gourd Quest ("Out of Your Gourd")
• Doc Galaktik's Quest for Herbs ("What's Up, Doc?")
• Mayor Zapruder Quests ("A Bugbear of a Problem")
  • Tame the Bugbears
  • Summon a Mushroom Familiar
  • Defeat Felonia
• Pretentious Artist Quest ("Suffering For His Art")
• Untinker Quest ("Driven Crazy")
• Harold's Hammer Quest ("Hammer Time")
• Baker Quest ("Baker, Baker")
• Wounded Guard Quest ("When Rocks Attack")
• Azazel, Ma Belle ("Angry <Player Name>, this is Azazel in Hell")
• "Going Postal"
• Cap'm Caronch Quest ("I Rate, You Rate")
• The Bounty Hunter Hunter's Daily Quest
• Sea Quests
  • "An Old Guy and The Ocean"
  • "Sea Monkees Quest"
• Memory Quests
  • "Primordial Fear"
  • "Hyboria? I don't even..."
  • "Future"

Other Accomplishments

• 31337 Scroll Quest
• Altar of Literacy Quest
• Beanstalk Quest (Part of the Giant Trash Quest)
• Dolphin King's Map Quest
• Dr. Hobo's Map Quest
• Most Extreme Haiku Challenge
• The Secret of the Dungeons of Doom
• Slug Lord's Map Quest
• Spooky Temple Map Quest
• Unlocking The Castle in the Clouds in the Sky

Quests That Don't Appear in Your Quest Log

• Dwarven Factory Complex Puzzle
• Around the World Quest ("I Just Wanna Fly")
• Cobb's Knob Laboratory Quest
• El Vibrato Island Quest
• Giant Castle Map Quest (a.k.a. The Hole in the Sky quest)
• Inexplicable Door Quest
• Mysterious Island of Mystery Side-Quests
  • Advertise for the Mysterious Island Arena
  • Defowl the Farm
  • Exterminate the Filthworm Infestation
  • Recover the Lighthouse Keeper's Gunpowder
  • Recover the Sisters' Meat
  • Retrieve Yossarian's Tools
• Pagoda Quest
• Silver Shrimp Fork Quest (half of a memo "mini-quest")
• Spookyraven Manor Quest
• Vampire Hunter Quest
• Zap Quest