Raging bull

It waves a red cape in front of itself for a few seconds, then gores you to a wall. Ugh! Ugh!

He punches you with both gloves, all the while chanting "Who's an animal? Your mother's an animal!" Ooh! Oof!

He pummels you mercilessly, as though you were a side of... er, him. Ooh! Ouch!

The bull screams out "Adrian!" You look behind you to see who he's talking to, and he punches you in the back of the head. Then he yells out "Adrian!" again. Man, that's annoying. Ouch! Eek!

It produces a red cape and waves it in front of itself, but you remind it that bulls are actually colorblind.

He suddenly gains an extra 30 pounds, (22 decaliters, if you're metric) and can't move to hit you.

He prepares to pummel you, but you confuse him by asking how he can do that with boxing gloves on.

He reaches back to punch you, but notices a big set of steps behind him, and starts jogging up and down them, instead.

You gain 24−42 Meat (average: 31.6, stdev: 3.5)*

You acquire an item: can of Red Minotaur (30.3% chance)*

You acquire an item: pile of jumping beans (53.1% chance)*

You gain 5 <substat>.

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Occurs at South of The Border.

References

• This monster references the 1980 Martin Scorsese film, Raging Bull, whose main character is a boxer.
• The quote "Who's an animal? Your mother's an animal!" in the attack text is taken directly from the movie.
• Robert De Niro gained about 30 pounds to play the character of Jake La Motta.
• The critical hit and fumble messages refer to another famous boxing movie, Rocky. Shouting "Adrian!" refers to the famous scene at the end, where Rocky shouts his girlfriend's name in triumph after lasting fifteen rounds with Apollo Creed. Running up and down the steps refers to the much-parodied training montage from the film, where Rocky runs up the stairs of the Philadelphia Art Museum.
• One of the miss messages references the Homestar Runner character Strong Bad, and the eternal question "How do you type with boxing gloves on?".