Save Uncle Crimbo!

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Description

You must try to find a way to break Lady Linnea's bewitching spell on Uncle Crimbo and return him to his factory in time for Crimbo by finding the three magical things that remind him who he is. After you've found Uncle Crimbo, you're going to have to try to find the two other things that he likes to convince him to come back.

Tasks

First Stage

• When you first start, visit A Lonely Crimbo Elf in The Big Mountains. He should tell you about Uncle Crimbo being missing and that you need to save him. (This is optional)
• Next, return to your campground and punch out the first section of the Spooky Advent Calendar. You should receive a chocolate lump and a random candy.
• Go to your inventory and use the chocolate lump.
• Rest in your campground twice, you may want to read what the ghosts say because they outline the plot of the event. The ghost makes a reference to "Because, if so, I'd rather just stay horrible. It doesn't bother me, except when people move my chair." This is a line from a "They Might be Giants" song "Mr. Horrible".

• Go to The Big Mountains and click on the Crimbo Rock.
• Adventure in Simple Tool-Making Cave in Crimbo Rock until you have gathered 2 sticks from the flint-scraping cave elf, a stringy sinew from the sinew-stretching cave elf, and a big leaf from a Hunter-gatherer cave-elf.
• Have Ugh Crimbo in the Toy-Making Cave create you fire and a leaf tube.
• Using meat paste, combine the fire and leaf tube into a lit cigar.
• Use the lit cigar and you have completed the first stage of the quest.
• If you use another chocolate lump, then the quest resets.

Second Stage

• After using the lit cigar, rest in your campsite or adventure in the Simple Tool-Making Cave until you meet the Ghost of Crimbo Right-About-Now, who gives you the option to replace CrimboRock with Crimbotown Right-About-Now.
• Adventure at The Spooky Fright Factory until you obtain the spooky frank.
• Cook the spooky frank with an enchanted bean, hill of beans or pile of jumping beans to make plate of franks and beans and then try to eat them (even if you are completely full or on an Oxygenarian or Boozetafarian path).

Third Stage

• Unknown (not yet released)

Rewards

• Access to Ugh Crimbo's Toy-Making Cave, where you can make prehistoric tools/toys.
• Access to the Simple Tool-Making Cave, where you can get prehistoric tools.
• Access to Crimbotown Right-About-Now, which includes The Spooky Fright Factory, Lady Linnea's Spooky Monster Truck and The Crimboween Spooky Cafe after you complete the second dream.

Text

On initial visit:

As you're walking around the Big Mountains, looking for Crimbo Town, you notice a sad, sniffling little Crimbo Elf. He spots you, and says, "Man, this is ridiculous. I never dreamed something like this could happen? It's almost Crimbo time, and where's Uncle Crimbo? He's been bewitched, I tell you, bewitched by that evil Scream Queen. It's like a bad dream, man."

"I thought she banished him to a dreamy desert island," you say.

"Oh yeah, banished, sure. Nah, she scrambled his brain with some weird spell! He's on a dream vacation. He doesn't even remember that he's Uncle Crimbo. He's going to luaus and wearing brightly-colored shorts, living the dream, and meanwhile the Scream Queen's taking over Crimbo. You've got to find the three magical things that will remind him who he is."

"You mean, like, candy canes and gingerbread?"

The elf laughs. "You don't know him very well, do you?"

"Where should I start?" you ask.

"I wouldn't dream of telling you that," the elf replies.

On subsequent visits:

"Please find Uncle Crimbo! We need his guidance!"

First nightmare:

You wake up in the middle of the night and see a bright light outside of your bed curtains. Since you don't have any curtains (and may or may not have a bed), you're pretty sure you're dreaming. You hope it's not curtains for you, though.

You push back the curtains and the bright light solidifies into a ghost! He has the requisite long, white robe, but some decidedly non-requisite dreadlocks hanging down past his shoulders. He gazes piercingly at you and speaks.

"Hey, mon," he says. "I be Marley's Ghost. I come to tell ya that tonight ye will be visited by tree spirits."

"Tree spirits?" you ask. "You mean those fruity little things in Canadia?"

"Nah, mon," he says. "One, two, tree -- tree spirits."

"Is this about me realizing I'm a horrible person and resolving to change, and ending up all giddy as a schoolboy?" you ask. "Because, if so, I'd rather just stay horrible. It doesn't bother me, except when people move my chair."

"Nah, mon." The ghost answers. "Uncle Crimbo's gone missing, and these tree spirits are going to help yah rescue him. The first is de ghost of Crimbo Way, Way Past. The second is the ghost of Crimbo Right-about-now. You'll like him, he's a funk soul brother. The third is the Ghost of Crimbo In The Not-Too-Distant Future. You'll see the first one the next time you fall asleep."

"Seriously," you say, "I don't really want to bother with any ghosts, man. I mean, I don't even have my proton pack."

"Expect the first one the next time you fall asleep," the ghost repeats, and starts to fade away, singing some song about martial bison.

Second nightmare:

You wake up to the sound of someone banging a bone against a rock. Well, you don't know that's what the sound is until you get up and look, but that's what it is.

You see a shimmery, transparent caveman (who may or may not have just saved a lot of money on his car insurance), dressed in furs and squatting on your floor, pounding said rock with said leg-bone.

"Me Ugh. Gwee tonga nala tonga macha pooka." he says, gesturing and grunting at you.

"You're Ugh, the ghost of Crimbo Way, Way Past, and you want me to go to the Big Mountains, where Crimbotown was last year, and I'll be magically transported to CrimboRock, which is Crimbotown thousands of years ago?"

"Ugh. Gwee zug fech haraka ool."

"And you say that once I'm there, I can fight monsters, make toys, and find part of the magic spell for rescuing Uncle Crimbo?"

"Ugh," the caveman says, nodding his assent.

Wow, I wish I could speak Caveman.

Using the Lit cigar:

You hold up the lit cigar, take a puff, and blow a square smoke ring. It hangs in the air like a window, and through it you can see what looks like a tropical island. Suddenly, Uncle Crimbo reaches through the window and grabs the cigar! "Thanks, kid," he says. "You're on the right track."

After this your quest log now reads:

Save Uncle Crimbo!

You've found Uncle Crimbo, but he doesn't seem to want to leave. You're going to have to try to find the two other things that he likes to convince him to come back.

Third Nightmare (Check It Out Now)

You decide that now is a good time for a nap. You're not sure why, but you do.

After sleeping soundly for about 10 minutes, you wake up to the sound of a flat, electronic beat playing loudly in your bedroom. You push aside your bed-curtains and look out. Since you don’t have any bed-curtains, and may or may not have a bedroom or a bed, you’re pretty sure you’re dreaming.

You see a shimmery, transparent guy standing in front of two turntables. He doesn’t appear to have a microphone, though. “Greetings, adventurer, he says. “I’m the ghost of Crimbo right-about-now. Greetings, adventurer. I’m the ghost of Crimbo right-about-now. Greetings, adventurer. I’m the ghost of Crimbo right-about-now.”

He stops and thumps himself upside the head. “Sorry, got stuck in a loop there. Anyway, I’m here to tell you that you’ve spent enough time in Crimbo Rock, and you should come to my realm now. If you ever want to save Uncle Crimbo, you’ve got to get with the now, man. Don’t you want to meet Linnea, the Scream Queen? Quit living in the past. Are you ready to go to Crimbo right-about-now? Are you ready to go to Crimbo right-about-now? Are you ready to…”

Get With The Now

Keep CrimboRock Open

Using the plate of franks and beans:

You start to chow down on the franks and beans, but before you can take a bite the plate levitates into the center of the room. A deeply tanned arm reaches through a magical portal and grabs the plate. "Thanks, kid," Uncle Crimbo's voice says. "You're getting even closer."

After finishing the second part of the quest your quest log now reads:

Save Uncle Crimbo!

You've given Uncle Crimbo two things he likes, but it doesn't seem to be enough. The old lout was a notorious drunkard -- maybe some booze will ply him.

Notes

• You can make more items in the Toy-Making Cave than just fire and leaf. You may want to play with the other toys, but none of them prove useful in saving Uncle Crimbo
• It's not actually necessary to visit A Lonely Crimbo Elf in order to begin this quest - consuming the chocolate lump will also unlock the nightmares. That being said, A Lonely Crimbo Elf definitely adds context.
• If you do not visit A Lonely Crimbo Elf first, the quest does not appear in your Quest Log. However, the quest is still there. It is just "invisible." Once you use the lit cigar, the quest then appears in your Quest Log.
• After receiving the first nightmare, A Lonely Crimbo Elf disappears.
• After receiving the second nightmare, Crimbo Rock appears in The Big Mountains.
• After receiving the third nightmare, Crimbo Rock disappears and Crimbotown Right-About-Now appears
• After choosing to go to Crimbotown Right-About-Now, you cannot return to the Crimbo of past. Attempting to do so by clicking on the Last Adventure link will yield this message. "No way, yo. "
• If you ascend after unlocking Crimbo Rock, it will disappear from The Big Mountains until the next rollover.
• As long as you don't use the chocolate lump you get another one the next day.

References

• The line about car insurance is taken from a series of ads by Geico. ("Our website is so easy, even a caveman can use it." and "I just saved a bunch of money on my car insurance by switching to Geico.")
• Marley's Ghost, the three spirits of Crimbo, and your line about "realizing I'm a horrible person and resolving to change, and ending up giddy as a schoolboy" are all references to Charles' Dickens' famous novella A Christmas Carol, as is the underdone potato that allows you to be visited in the first place (Scrooge dismisses the visitation of Marley as the result of "an undigested bit of beef, a blot of mustard, a crumb of cheese, a fragment of underdone potato").
• In addition, the ghost of Marley is portrayed here by Bob Marley, explaining the dreadlocks and Jamaican accent.
• The line "I'd rather just stay horrible. It doesn't bother me, except when people move my chair." comes from "Someone Keeps Moving My Chair" by They Might Be Giants, where the regularly tolerant Mr. Horrible is upset by the movement of his chair.
• The song about the "martial bison" is a reference to the Bob Marley song "Buffalo Soldier".
• The line about the ghost of Crimbo Right-About-Now being a "funk soul brother" is a reference to the lyrics of the song "The Rockafeller Skank" by Fatboy Slim. Also, the fact that he repeats himself over and over is another reference to the song.
• The "proton pack" mentioned in the first nightmare refers to the fictional ghost-busting machine in the movie "Ghostbusters".
• The line about wishing you could speak caveman is a "Finding Nemo" reference.
• The language he is speaking is from a movie named "Caveman" starring Ringo Starr and Dennis Quaid.
• The use of the big leaf and stringy sinew to complete the first part of the quest may be a reference to the World of Warcraft quest in which you attain a giant petrified leaf and have to attain dragon sinew to finish it.
• The Spooky Fright Factory is a reference to the factory that contains "The Fright" in the movie, "The Peanut Butter Solution" in which seeing the fright makes one bald.
• The line from the Ghost of Crimbo Right-About-Now about turntables and microphones is a reference to the song "Where It's At" by Beck.
• The Vampire turning into a dog references Harry Potter's Godfather, and possibly Snoop Dogg or George Clinton with the "Dogfather" part. (Or maybe just the oft used god/dog joke)
• The Blue Lagoon is a movie based on the book by Henry Devere Stacpoole
• The Elvish dentist is a reference to "Rudolf and the Island of Misfit Toys".