Tea party strategy

Tea Cup

Tea party hats that are actually useful in a run. This table is mostly aimed at players in Hardcore mode.

Note: "when it's worth pursuing" means "under what conditions would I invest turns or other resources into obtaining this hat", not "under what conditions would I use this buff if I magically happen to have this hat in my sack". (However, some people have edited this table to include the latter information, particularly on hats whose acquisition cost is negligible.)

Don't forget that you can get a tea party buff when drunk.

Hat	Effect's Effect	How to get (in HC)	When it's worth pursuing
snorkel	Moxie +10	Spend 30 Meat	HC day 1, especially pre-accordion
Dolphin King's crown	+10 Stench Damage	Finish the Dolphin King's Map Quest	Serendipitous use only
asshat	Familiar Experience +3	2 bum cheeks	Gourd-questing as a moxie class?
pail	Monster Level +20	Finish the Pretentious Artist Quest	HCO, Fist, or very long runs
ravioli hat	Myst +10	Born PM, or use chewing gum on a string	More max MP to cast Ode to Booze, or earlier Haunted Bedroom access as myst class
Ze™ goggles	Myst +10	diving for Treasure in An Olympic-Sized Swimming Pool	depends on luck
astral chapeau	Max MP +25	Pet Heaven in Valhalla
bugbear beanie	Max MP +25	70 Meat in Knoll Moon signs, or serendipitous monster drop in mandatory quest	More max MP to cast Ode to Booze, etc.
balloon helmet	Max MP +25	Multi-use Fun House drops	If you're doing the Nemesis quest anyway (hat is also useful on a Mad Hatrack)
double-ice cap	Max MP +25	April Shower (Cold) (2 days)	only if you were planning to make one anyway
maiden wig	Weapon Damage +15	80 Meat in Knoll Moon signs, or serendipitous monster drop in mandatory quest	Sewer leveling, boss fights
basic meat helmet	Spell Damage +15	200 Meat + one Innabox-able smithing	Sewer leveling, boss fights, Sauceror synergy
turtle wax helmet	Spell Damage +15	TT, guild opened, 50 Meat	Sewer leveling, boss fights
Baron von Ratsworth's tophat	+3 Stat Gains from Fights	beating Baron Von Ratsworth with any monster aggravation device set to 9	1-3 turns post-faucet, but monocle may be superior
bubblewrap bottlecap turtleban	+20% Items from Monsters	TT + Armorcraftiness + Cola war unlock + Knob Shaft drop	only if you were planning to make one for the MP regen anyway
filthy knitted dread sack	+40% Meat from Monsters	Yellow-ray a hippy or business hippy	For Nuns (all non-Fist runs), or if meat is really needed
f3d0r4	Familiar Experience +3	Valley drop	Serendipitous use only
extra-large palm-frond toupee	Muscle +20%	Multi-use oasis drops	Serendipitous use only
reinforced beaded headband	+5 Familiar Weight	Level 12 war outfit	If you did the Nuns yesterday. NS Tower-familiars.

(Softcore-Players should rather consult the full list)