A Crowd of Arguing Elves

A Crowd of Arguing Elves appeared in Crimbo Town during Crimbo 2020.

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• On first visit

Crimbo Town square is full of elves bickering with each other -- well, perhaps 'bickering' is a strong word, as none of them seem angry exactly, but there certainly is a lot of emotional gesturing going on.

You push through to the middle of the crowd, where three elves in particular seem to be the main focus of the debate. Would you be surprised to find out one of them is Tammy, the tambourine elf? (Unless you're pretty new around here, you shouldn't be.)

"Hey, Tammy!" you say, waving to her.

"<Player Name>!" she squeals in delight, and gives you a big (for an elf) hug. "It's so nice to see you again! Welcome back!"

"You too! What's going on?" you ask.

"Abuela Crimbo has a lot on her plate this year, so she left us in charge of running things for the Kingdom," she explains. "But we're having trouble agreeing on what sort of Crimbo it should be. How best to spread the Crimbo spirit, you know?"

She turns and gestures to the other two elves with her tambourine. "Here, let me introduce you! This is Mirth," she says, indicating an elf with long blonde hair and big shining eyes, who waves at you happily, "and this is Penny." Penny is dressed in a sober gray suit, albeit with a festive red and green necktie. She nods politely and makes a note on her digital tablet.

"Please to meet you both," you say. "What's the situation? Maybe I can help."

Mirth clasps her hands to her chest beatifically. "Crimbo is the season of love, and togetherness, and caring!" she says, in a lilting, chirpy voice. "We should go out to all the people, and spread these messages of joy and harmony, and entreat them to join us in celebrating the spirit of Crimbo!"

"And I basically agree," Tammy says, "except I don't think people are gonna be interested in, y'know, speeches and stuff, no matter how heartfelt they are. I think what people want is music and singing!" She jingles her tambourine to demonstrate. "Traditional Crimbo carols! And wassailing! That's how you get people into the Crimbo spirit!"

Penny sniffs. "While both of these undertakings are charming, and they certainly have their place in the season, we must not neglect the realities of modern life," she says. "The economy relies on the Crimbo gift-purchasing surge, and we Crimbo elves are not immune. Regardless of our fantastical natures, we cannot live on Crimbo cheer alone. Encouraging people to spend money -- Meat, in this case -- should be our overriding concern in promoting holiday spirit."

"Okay, well, I don't think these ideas are mutually-exclusive," you say. "We've got a lot of adventurers in the Kingdom. Some of us can go out proselytizing, and some can go caroling, and some can, um..."

"I have taking the liberty of constructing a financial invigoration program, which I call 'multi-level economic encouragement'," Penny says. "Basically, if each member donates Meat to the next member up the ladder, then..."

"Right, sure. That. There's enough of us that we can do all three of these things," you say.

"That's a great idea!" Tammy says excitedly. "Let's get started right away!"

Unlocks Spread Crimbo Spirit in Seaside Town

• On subsequent visits

The elves are all scampering around the place, busy with their various tasks. Maybe try again later (meaning tomorrow).

• After Rollover on 16 December

You head back to the town square, where the three "faction leaders" are sending elves out on various tasks. You find Tammy handing out lyrics sheets and knitted scarves. "Oh! Hi <Player Name>!" she calls out to you, waving.

"Hiya, Tammy," you say. "How's it going?"

"Really great! Gosh, it's nice to be back doing regular Crimbo stuff. How long has it been since that happened?"

"Umm... fifteen years."

"Jeez! No wonder nobody here can remember all the lyrics to 'Deck the Halls'."

"Is that your favorite Crimbo carol?"

"It's pretty good, but my favorites are the ones with jingle bells!" She starts hopping up and down and shaking her tambourine. "Jingle jingle jingle jingle jingle jingle jingle!"

"Ha ha, well, I'm not surprised." Noticing Mirth standing nearby, you turn to her. "What about you, Mirth? What are your favorite carols?"

"Ooooh," she ponders dreamily, "I like all the lovely spiritual ones. I'm not very familiar with the different religions around here, but the songs about joy and silence and harmony are all so pretty!"

"How about you, Penny?" you ask.

Penny looks up from her tablet. "Hmm, well, I suppose if I'm obligated to choose, I'd say the one where someone buys their true love three hundred and sixty-four presents, most of them expensive livestock or the services of contract laborers. That one's pretty good."

"Yeah, that tracks."

• After Rollover on 17 December

Your return to Crimbo Town square, and find Mirth supervising a crew of elves, who are running around with potted poinsettias and silver tinsel and other such decorations.

"You look like you're having a good time, Mirth," you say. "In fact, you look positively blissed out."

"Oh, it's just that this is my favorite time of year," she says, beaming. "When all the year's preparations are nearly finished, and it's time to really start sharing the miracle of Crimbo with everyone! When everyone comes together in the spirit of peace and love and joy, and all the arguments and fights of the rest of the year are put aside and everybody is nice and kind to one another!"

"Yeah, it's great!" Tammy pipes up. "Especially the parties! Lots of music and dancing, and all kinds of food! Fruitcake and mince pie and Crimbo cookies!"

"And let's not forget the shopping, and the exchange of presents," Penny adds.

"I mean... yes, that's all wonderful," Mirth says, "but the point is the magic and spirit of harmony and togetherness and giving!"

"Right! Togetherness!" Tammy says, shaking her tombourine excitedly. "Like at a party!"

"And 'giving' as regards the giving of presents, yes," Penny nods.

"But... I mean, you're not wrong, but..."

"Don't worry about it, Mirth," you say, giving her a pat on the head. "They're just specialists, is all."

• After Rollover on 18 December

You find Penny at work, tapping rapidly on her tablet. "Hey, Penny. How's it going?"

"I won't know for certain until the final receipts are tabulated, but so far I'd say things are progressing within expected budgetary parameters," she replies.

"I meant that in a more general 'hello' kind of sense, but that's good too. Say," you ask, "I don't remember seeing you around before. Are you new?"

"To this regional office, yes. Previously, I worked in the Crimbo Town for a small tropical kingdom in the Distant Lands."

"Tropical, huh? Like with beaches and palm trees?"

"Yes. Almost entirely so."

"That sounds really nice."

"Mm. It could have been worse, certainly. Decorating a palm tree is much easier in some ways, and much more difficult in others."

Mirth, who has wandered up to join the conversation, says "Tell them why you transferred!"

"Oh yeah, why did you transfer?" you ask. "It seems like a pretty cushy gig, apart from the palm trees."

Penny scowls at Mirth, then looks away and folds her arms. "...I didn't like their money."

"Huh? They didn't use Meat?"

"They used seashells!" Mirth says, her eyes wide. "All different ones! They were so pretty!"

"They were ridiculous," Penny grumbles. "All different colors, sizes, shapes, and values. No standardization at all! It was impossible to keep proper financial records! At least Meat uses a standard measurement of weight."

"Also she was allergic to them," Mirth whispers to you.