The Odd Jobs Board

Choice adventure number: 985

The Odd Jobs Board

This page is in need of content. Missing Jobs, amount per category unknown.

You look at the Odd Jobs Board to see what weird tasks people are currently hiring for.

Small Jobs

Wanted: Chip Stacker The Head Croupier at the Thatch-Roof Casino needs someone to sort the poker chips by color and weight, then stack them neatly. It's an obsessive-compulsive's dream job. Wages: 300 Do This Job (3 Adventures)

Wanted: Graffiti Transplanter The Sleazy Back Alley is covered in gross and explicit graffiti. The Council is outraged, and wants someone to erase all of that filth--and painstakingly transcribe it onto the Graffiti Wall, where it belongs. Wages: 300 Do This Job (3 Adventures)

Wanted: Knob Polisher The doorknobs in Spookyraven Manor have become tarnished with age, and the Loathing Historical Society is looking for someone to restore them to their former luster. The ideal candidate will not snicker about the job title. Wages: 300 Do This Job (3 Adventures)

Wanted: Manor Painter The exterior of Spookyraven Manor needs a fresh coat of whitewash, to cover the horrors that lurk within (and the dry rot that lurks without). Wages: 300 Do This Job (3 Adventures)

Wanted: Stock-Taker The General Store's General needs someone to take inventory for him, so he knows how much of which goods he will need to reorder. Upon reflection, this is more of a regular job than an odd job. Wages: 200 chewing gum on a string (3) Do This Job (3 Adventures)

Wanted: Window Breaker The Council of Loathing wants able-bodied Adventurers to break a bunch of the windows on the Wrong Side of the Tracks in Seaside Town, so that all of the windows will match, making the derelict buildings more aesthetically pleasing. The Broken Windows Theory suggests that this will reduce crime. Wages: 300 Do This Job (3 Adventures)

Muscle Jobs

Wanted: Apple Harvester Molly Applecore, the owner of Loathing's only apple orchard, needs a hired hand to help harvest and crate her daily apple crop. Once all the apples have been loaded into crates, she'll ship all of them to Distant Lands, because everyone knows there's no market for apples in the Kingdom. Wages: 1000 Do This Job (10 Adventures)

Wanted: Barge Lifter/Bale Toter The East Loathing Trading Company's barge from the Distant Lands has finally arrived at the Docks of Loathing. Now they require someone to lift the barge out of the water and tote the bales of Distant Lands merchandise off of the barge. Wages: 1000 Do This Job (10 Adventures)

Wanted: Forge Bellower The Meatsmith wants to hire someone to work the bellows at his forge. Not, he wants to make clear, to stand around shouting loudly, which is apparently a miscommunication that has happened before. Wages: 1000 Do This Job (10 Adventures)

Wanted: Hod Carrier The Pretentious Artist has come up in the world a bit, and is adding a layer of mud to his dirt-walled hovel. He needs someone to kneel before a hod(a flat board with a carrying handle, piled high with mud), lift the hod into the air, and hold it while an artisan daubs mud onto the hovel. Wages: 1000 Do This Job (10 Adventures)

Wanted: Paper Adult The Loathing Herald-Times-Tribune-Messenger needs muscle-bound persons to stack giant bundles of newspapers into semi-tractor-trailers to be hauled all over the Kingdom. The ideal candidate won't comment on what a waste of time and resources it is to print news on dead trees every day. Wages: 1000 Do This Job (10 Adventures)

Wanted: Stockroom Assistant Warren, the Armorer and Leggerer, needs someone to help him rearrange his stockroom, for obvious reasons. Wages: 1000 Do This Job (10 Adventures)

Wanted: Tracks Cleaner Kids keep putting bits of meat on the Tracks. The Council doesn't understand why anyone would do that, but needs someone to go clean up the mess. Wages: 1000 Do This Job (10 Adventures)

Mysticality Jobs

Wanted: Crossword Editor Mysticality Mynthly needs a copy-editor to make sure none of the ancient, forbidden words in this month's crossword will cause dimensional rifts to alternate realities full of betentacled elder gods. Wages: 1000 Do This Job (10 Adventures)

Wanted: Genie Bottler Wizard Novelties & Boffo Laffs, Inc., just received a new shipment of genies from Distant Lands. Unfortunately, due to a translation error, the genies were shipped unbottled. Instead of waiting around to be released, they're threatening to rend the very fabric of reality. Bottling genies isn't technically challenging, but it is mentally exhausting. Wages: 1000 Do This Job (10 Adventures)

Wanted: Love-Potion Brewer The Love Potion Brewers Union #9 is on strike, and Wizard Novelties & Boffo Laffs, Inc. is calling in scabs to brew a batch of their new love potion. It says something about the wizarding world that a beverage with the power to negate someone's free will is considered a "novelty" or a "boffo laff." Wages: 1000 Do This Job (10 Adventures)

Wanted: Lunacy-Tolerant Scribe The Captain of the Gourd needs someone to help him transcribe his insane ramblings from a teetering stack of old composition books into a teetering stack of fresh composition books. Wages: 1000 Do This Job (10 Adventures)

Wanted: Meal Deliverer A local restaurant has begin a program of delivering meals to the elderly and shut-ins, and needs someone to make deliveries. Wages: 1000 Do This Job (10 Adventures)

Wanted: Salve Taste-Tester Doc Galaktik is working on a new batch of medicinal salve, and needs someone to help choose the tastiest combination of ingredients. Wages: 900 Doc Galaktik's Restorative Balm (3) Do This Job (10 Adventures)

Wanted: Transmutation Subject The League of Chef-Magi needs someone for trainees to practice transformation spells on. Strong stomach required, must not be allergic to animal dander. Wages: 900 magicalness-in-a-can (3) Do This Job (10 Adventures)

Wanted: Wall Shaver One of the broom closets in Spookyraven Manor has become a hellish, obscenely biological nightmare, its wallpapered walls transfigured into human flesh. Even worse, that flesh is covered in gross hair! The ideal applicant will be able to shave the walls without going mad from the tortured whispering leaking under the doorway. Wages: 1000 Do This Job (10 Adventures)

Moxious Jobs

Wanted: Ballroom Blitzer The musicians in the Spookyraven Manor ballroom have gotten bored of playing the same waltzes for several hundred years, and would like someone to come teach them some new tunes. Wages: 1000 Do This Job (10 Adventures)

Wanted: Card Shuffler The Thatched-Roof Casino, in an attempt to make games play more quickly, has decided to hire card shufflers to keep a stock of pre-shuffled decks of cards on-hand. Wages: 1000 Do This Job (10 Adventures)

Wanted: Cobweb Hanger Some genius at the Loathing Historical Preservation Society left the window open in the foyer of Spookyraven Manor, and all the cobwebs blew away. The Society seeks someone with an eye for interior decorating to artfully arrange imported cobwebs. Wages: 1000 Do This Job (10 Adventures)

Wanted: Death-Quip Writer Secret agent Ionic Bond (who always tells people his real, full name, because that's what a good secret agent does) seeks a moxious writer to write pun-based, badass quips he can make after offing a villain. Wages: 1000 Do This Job (10 Adventures)

Wanted: Pocket Pickee The Department of Shadowy Arts and Crafts needs someone to stand around while trainees steal their wallet over and over. Wages: 900 moxie weed (3) Do This Job (10 Adventures)

Wanted: Salad Spinner A local health-food restaurant wants to increase awareness of their location by hiring someone to stand outside the restaurant juggling vegetables. Wages: 1000 Do This Job (10 Adventures)

Wanted: Twister The secret dance club in the Sleazy Back Alley is suffering from an empty dance floor. The club's mysterious owner seeks a moxious applicant to do the Twist on their dance floor, encouraging other patrons to join in. Wages: 1000 Do This Job (10 Adventures)

Notes

• The job board shows one of each type of job at a time.

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Occurs at Seaside Town.