The Portal to Horrible Parents

There are some vague or non-exact figures and information on this page. Some spading is required. When you look through the portal, what changes the text?

• If you've already visited five families today:

The portal is closed for now. You've done enough work for today. Ciao!

• Otherwise:

Choice adventure number: 844

The Portal to Horrible Parents

The huge gold frame that contains the portal is very impressive, but the portal itself shows only murky visions and is impassible right now. Which is a good thing -- it reminds you that you should visit the village for supplies before you start any child-bartering!

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Look into the Portal

You peer through the portal into a house full of activity. Children are everywhere! The portal lets you watch them and their parents without fear of being noticed. You see <some action performed>. You watch some of the many children play for awhile, and then you see <another action performed>. You're distracted by yet more kids romping around, and when you look back you see <a third action performed>. Then the portal shimmers and you see no more.

Actions:

• You see the father/mother admiring a valuable collection of artistic nudes. (???)
• You see the father/mother admiring a solid marble nude statue. (Lust/?)
• You see the father/mother checking for stretch marks while downing a huge chocolate shake. (Gluttony/Vanity)
• You see the father/mother counting his possessions. (Greed?)
• You see the father/mother collapsed in an overstuffed chair, curling her eyelashes. (Laziness/Vanity?)
• You see the father/mother eyeing her spouse lasciviously. (Lust?)
• You see the father/mother flipping through a lingerie catalog. (???)
• You see the father/mother lying on the floor, calling his spouse to come give a kiss. (Laziness/Lust??)
• You see the father/mother moaning softly. (Lust?)
• You see the father/mother reclined on the bed, idly peeping through the window to the neighbor's house. (Laziness?)
• You see the father/mother stubbing her toe on an ottoman then kicking it across the room. (Violence?)
• You see the father/mother tearing apart an entire roasted chicken so hard the bones snap. (Gluttony/Violence?)
• You see the father/mother throwing a bag of chips on the ground and stomping on it to open it. (Gluttony/Violence?)
• You see the father/mother trying to squeeze into a girdle. (Vanity?)
• You see the father/mother using the remote control to turn the TV to the Beauty Channel. (Laziness/Vanity?)

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Walk into the Portal

Before opening the portal:

The portal is still opening its magical connection, so walking through it doesn't do anything yet. You can peer through it to do some reconnaissance, though!

Afterwards:

You step through the portal and into the home. The adults seem a little surprised to see you, but no one's calling the cops just yet, so you take the opportunity to talk to them.

Takes you to Bartering for the Future of Innocent Children

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Return Home

You walk away from the portal.

Returns you to Rumpelstiltskin's Home For Children

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Occurs when you click "Portal to Terrible Parents" in Rumpelstiltskin's Home For Children.

Notes

• Looking into the Portal and Walking into the Portal does not take you out of the choice adventure.
• Returning Home does not take an adventure.