The Swagger Shop

Swagger Jack runs Jack's Swagger Shack in Huggler Memorial Colosseum. It is also known as The Swagger Shop.

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Swagger Jack "Howdy, pard. If you've got the swagger, we've got the swag."

Items Sold

Huggler Radio	Buy (50 swagger)
insulting hat	Buy (1,000 swagger)
offensive moustache	Buy (2,000 swagger)
How to Hold a Grudge	Buy (3,000 swagger)
fettucini épines Inconnu recipe	Buy (5,000 swagger)
slap and slap again recipe	Buy (5,000 swagger)
cursed microwave	Buy (10,000 swagger)
cursed pony keg	Buy (10,000 swagger)
hairshirt	Buy (2,000 swagger)
How to Tolerate Jerks	Buy (2,000 swagger)
puppet strings	Buy (100 swagger)
bagged stuffed "L"	Buy (500 swagger)
stuffed club	Buy (500 swagger)
Black Bart's Booty	Buy (1,000 swagger)
You must earn 1,000 swagger during a pirate season to purchase this item.
Holiday Hal's Happy-Time Fun Book!	Buy (1,000 swagger)
You must earn 1,000 swagger during a holiday season to purchase this item.
Antagonistic Snowman Kit	Buy (1,000 swagger)
You must earn 1,000 swagger during an ice season to purchase this item.
Map to Kokomo	Buy (1,234 swagger)
You must earn 1,234 swagger during a drunken season to purchase this item.
Essence of Annoyance	Buy (X,000 swagger)

You have X swagger. You've earned X swagger during a pirate season, yarrr. You've earned X swagger during a holiday season, fun! You've earned X swagger during an ice season, brrrr! You've earned X swagger during a drunken season!

Notes

• On your first visit, if your character pre-dates the April 30, 2012 PvP update:

  In honor of your dedication and skill during the long PvP Pre-season, the judges have awarded you a bonus!*:
  You gain some swagger (+X)

  • The amount of pre-season swagger awarded is (pretty flowers picked / 25) + (White Canadians consumed / 2.5), rounded down.
• When you purchase something:

You trade some of your swagger for a slick new item!

You acquire... something. [[Data:{{{item}}}]]

• If you can't afford something:

You can't afford that! And don't think you can steal it either!

• If you try to buy something that isn't for sale:

That's not an item you can buy. Sociopath.

• The price of the Essence of Annoyance increases each time you buy one. The first costs 5,000 swagger; the second, 11,000 swagger; the third, 18,000 swagger; and so on.
• You can buy the Huggler Radio, Black Bart's Booty, Holiday Hal's Happy-Time Fun Book! or Antagonistic Snowman Kit even if you are in Ronin or Hardcore.
• You cannot spend swagger on other items while in Ronin. Swagger Jack informs you so:

The Obligations of Ronin prevent you from turning in your swagger right now.

• Or in Hardcore:

The Tenets of Hardcore prevent you from turning in your swagger right now.

• During special seasons, Swagger Jack has a different introduction (and sometimes, a different name). A special item is available for purchase only during that season, and you must acquire 1,000 swagger in that season in order to purchase it. The special swagger you've earned for that season only is displayed below your current total swagger.
• Attempting to purchase a special season item without enough special swagger results in this message:

  You must earn at least 1,000 swagger during a(n) <pirate|holiday|ice> season to purchase this item.

• During a pirate season Swagger Jack's costume and introduction differ:

Swagger Jack "Ahoy, mate. If you be having the swagger, we be having the swag."

• During a holiday season Swagger Jack is on vacation:

Holiday Hal "Happy Holidays! Jack's on vacation, but if you have swagger, spend it here to increase your Holiday Fun!"

• During an ice season Swagger Jack is being helped out by a helpful snowflake:

Flakey, the Helpful Snowflake "It looks like you're trying to spend some swagger..."

• During a drunken season Swagger Jack is unable to operate the shack:

Bart Enter "Jack doesn't have his liquor license, so I'm helping out this season. What'll it be, buddy?"

History

• On August 07, 2013, puppet strings were temporarily removed from the swagger shop, presumably due to Hinch. When they returned, the price rose from 100 swagger to 101 swagger (and continued to rise for a while). CDMoyer said the price would go up by 1 every hour. This didn't happen for the first few hours, which made it seem as if it wasn't working, but then a few hours later it rose as predicted.

  [pvp] CDMoyer: Puppet strings are going up 1 swagger in price every hour until you collectively disavow hinch.

• The puppet string price was restored to normal (100 swagger) on ??.
• The first Pirate Season began on September 1, 2014.
• The first Holiday Season began on November 1, 2014.
• Holiday Hal's Happy-Time Fun Book! could not be purchased in Hardcore or Ronin until November 11, 2014.
• Flakey's Antagonistic Snowman Kit could not be purchased in Hardcore or Ronin until January 21, 2015.

References

• To swagger jack someone is to copy their style or ideas.
• Swagger Jack may also refer to the WWE wrestler Jack Swagger.
• It looks like you're trying to figure out what Flakey, the Helpful Snowflake, is a reference to. Here are some suggestions:
  • Read the Wikipedia article on Clippit/Clippy, the much-maligned Microsoft Office Assistant.

See Also

• PvP