Conjoined zmombie

Conjoined zmombie
Monster ID	197
Locations	The Defiled Alcove
Hit Points	120
Attack	73
Defense	63
No-Hit	83
Initiative	60
Meat	240-360
Phylum	undead
Elements	spooky
Resistance	None
Monster Parts	head, arm, leg, torso
Drops	cranberries, cranberries, loose teeth
Manuel Entry
refreshedit data

 You're fighting a conjoined zmombie

This is a zmombie, or more accurately a pair of conjoined zmombies. Wow. Considering the chances of conjoined twins being born and the chances of spontaneous or deliberate zmombification, these things are really rare.

Hit Message(s):

It chomps on your frontal and parietal lobes simultaneously. You forget your piano lessons as a kid and your first familiar. Ouch! Ooh! Ow! (spooky damage)

It grabs you and munches on your <groin> and your <groin> at the same time. Yeow! Ugh! Eek! Ow! (spooky damage)

It bangs both of its heads against yours. See the "eight heads" joke in the bat hole for more information. Ugh! Ugh! Ugh! (spooky damage)

It shouts at you with both mouths. It doesn't hurt you physically, but it does hurt your feelings. Ooh! Oof! Ooh! (spooky damage)

Critical Hit Message:

It suddenly splits into two fully-formed zmobies, each of which take to munching on one hemisphere of your brain. You find yourself less creative and less analytical simultaneously. Ouch! Ugh! Eek! Ouch! Ouch! Ooh! (spooky damage)

Miss Message(s):

It tries to munch your <groin> with both mouths, but accidentally bangs its heads together.

It tries to bang its heads against yours, but you're a better headbanger than a headbangee.

It claws at you with its filthy, filthy fingernails, but you give it an impromptu manicure.

It shouts at you with both mouths, but you shout it down with your one loud mouth.

Fumble Message:

It gets into a long argument about how to best attack you. Since neither head can say anything except "braaaaaains," it's not a productive or a quick argument. (FUMBLE!)

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After Combat

You gain 284−338 Meat

You acquire an item: cranberries

You acquire an item: cranberries

You acquire an item: loose teeth

You gain 15 <substat>.

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Occurs at The Defiled Alcove.

References

• The "eight heads" joke is an attack message of the Boss Bat.
• The "braaaaaains" comment refers to the zombies in the movie Return of the Living Dead and countless imitators afterwards.